Lottery (28 page)

“Are you gonna puke?” I ask. Sometimes people get seasick. She shakes her head no.

“Are you sure? I can get you a sack,” I say.

We are flying. We are free. We are sailing. The wind hits my face and I open my mouth to taste the salty air. Cherry watches me and does the same.

We fly for minutes. For hours. I can do this forever. Gramp is with me in my head. So is Gram. I close my eyes and decide if I have to die, I would die right now. I am that happy.

Keith knows a small bay around the corner from the Whidbey Marina. The sun lowers in the sky. We need to anchor before it gets dark. My stomach is growling. I remember I did not eat lunch. We coast along the shoreline, and then tack back and forth. The waves push us along.

“Here,” Keith says, and stops the motor. I help him drop and set the anchor. We are not far from the beach.
Diamond Girl
does not draw much water. It is only about twenty feet deep. I cannot see the bottom, but the way the anchor set, I can tell it is rocky and not mud.

It slowly gets dark. Cherry opens cans of chili and heats them on the propane stove. We are all so hungry we eat bread with no butter with chili on flat paper plates. We do not want to wash dishes. We use fake spoons. Cherry mixes hot cocoa and we munch oatmeal cookies and Oreos.
Diamond Girl
floats. The breeze dies down. The water is glassy smooth. Car lights move and flash from shore. We watch them while we talk and doze.

“They wish they were us,” Cherry says sleepily and leans against Keith. “They wish they were us.”

I think that is true. It is
echt
.

I wrap a blanket around my shoulders and stretch out on the other side of the cockpit. This is where I always sleep on
Diamond Girl
.

I am happy and start to bounce, but Keith says, “Per? No bouncing on the boat, okay?” Keith does not like me bouncing on
Diamond Girl.
He goes below and comes back up with a guitar. I am surprised because I did not know Keith could play any instrument. He strums and sings to us. His voice is clear and deep.

Cherry snuggles against him while he plays and I see her look up, take one finger, and brush his beard. He turns and sings into her ear. I can tell he likes Cherry and she likes him.

I wish Cherry liked me better than Keith but I do not think she does. Even though I bought her presents, she likes Keith best. Even though I am rich, she likes Keith best. He is poor, and rude, and crude, like Gram would say. But Cherry still likes him best.

It is hard.

Keith sings to me. To us. I can listen to him forever, but I fall asleep with him singing in my ear. I am asleep. And
Diamond Girl
rocks.

48

Gram hardly ever talked about my father.

I thought he was dead.

I wondered about how he might have died. Probably in a car accident. That is how most people die. In a car. Or maybe a heart attack from cholesterol. Maybe that. He could have been murdered. That is not likely, but it is possible. Possible. Like winning the lottery.

Then I heard John and David talking. They came to visit after Mike Dinelli left on Thursday. They always come when Gary and Keith are not at Holsted’s.

My father is alive.

They said he was alive. I had no idea.

David said the Cayman Islands were like Hawaii. All sunny.

I had no idea my father was lying in the sun in the Cayman Islands after stealing a bunch of his client’s money. No idea at all. I wondered why he stole money. I wondered why he left and I wondered why I never knew.

I asked Gary and Keith if they knew the answer to all my whys. I wanted to know. I could not stop thinking about it.

Gary sighs and looks up at the ceiling. “I think it’s time you knew, Perry.” And tells me about my father.

“It went on for years. He sucked them dry. When he got in trouble, your Gramp took a loan out against his business for the bail so your dad wouldn’t have to go to jail before the trial. When he skipped town, they lost the money. It was a struggle . . .” Gary looks up at the ceiling again. I look up too, but there is nothing there.

“I think your Gramp still could have made it. He mortgaged everything to buy the hoist for the yard. It was his last chance to turn it all around. When things got tough, he just needed a break, a loan to tide him over. Those bastard grandsons of his never got back to him. Ignored his messages. Wouldn’t return his calls. Then it was too late. He lost it all,” Gary says. “Everything he worked for his whole life was gone.” His voice is low, as if Gram and Gramp would be upset with me knowing.

There was one thing Gary said that was not true. Everything Gramp worked for his whole life was not gone. Gramp worked for me.

I am still here.

That is true. I know this. It is
echt.

When the people you worked for your whole life are still here, you have everything.

Keith listened to the story without interrupting, which is hard for him to do. All of us are thinking at the same time and no one is speaking until Keith clears his throat and says, “I wouldn’t be surprised if they tried the same crap on Perry.”

“No,” I say. “They just want my Power.”

"Shit!” Gary leaps to his feet. He does not say the S-word very often. Keith says enough bad words for everybody.

Gary dials the phone. “Tom? I need to talk with you now!”

Something is going on, but I do not know what it is.

Gary and Keith say things I do not understand, but I listen. I am an auditor.

“Aren’t you upset about all this?” Keith asks me. “Aren’t you worried about what your brothers are doing? About what your father did?”

I can tell he wants to help.

“Cousin-brothers. They are my cousin-brothers, and no I’m not upset,” I say. “I am sad. I am sad for Gram and Gramp. I am sad for everybody. I wonder why Gram didn’t want me to know. It was only money.”

And I walk back upstairs.

It was only money, I think, as I lay on my couch.

I wonder about things like this in the morning before I get up. Morning is a time for wondering. Gram and I used to wonder all the time in the morning. We would have wonder competitions.

“I wonder how they get the cream inside a Twinkie.” That would be me.

“I wonder how you can eat so much.” That would be Gram.

“I wonder how they know twelve makes a dozen.” That would be me.

“I wonder how all those assholes in Congress got elected.” That would be Gram again.

It is important to wonder. You find out things when you wonder. That is how I found out Louise was my mother and how David and John were my brothers and my cousins. I was ten. I know this because I wrote it all down in my third book. I called them cousin-brothers.

“Sometimes people don’t live with their families,” Gram said. “Like when a baby is adopted it means someone else can take better care of them. Will love them more.”

I was crying because Kenny down the street said my parents didn’t want me and that was why I didn’t live at home with my mother and father.

“Your parents gave you away. I know who your brothers are. They’re both creeps and you’re retarded. Your dad’s a scumbag and your mom’s a slut!” Kenny pushed me all the way across my yard. Gram was in the back weeding the garden.

“You’re only with her because you’re retarded!”

“I am not!”

“Are too! She’s the only one who wanted you. Retard!” Then he pushed me down, hit me hard in the face, and gave me a bloody nose.

I yelled for Gram. “
Gram!
” I cried. “
Gram!
”

“Get the hell out of my yard!” Gram ran fast, but Kenny was faster.

I did not know what scumbag or slut was. When I asked Gram, she got mad and called Kenny’s mother on the phone.

“You keep your boy away from Perry,” she said. “You keep your boy away.”

Kenny and I used to be friends. I remember. We used to play together before either of us went to school. He was five and I was four. We played in my yard because I had a sandbox made out of an old dinghy that Gramp used to have at the marina. A boat filled with sand. We covered it every night with a tarp to keep the cats out. All the kids loved to play at my house. When Kenny’s mom went to work, Gram would watch us both.

Then Kenny went to kindergarten and I could not because I had a late birthday and too many toilet accidents. Kenny would bring friends home to play after that.

“Why do you play with that retard?” they would say. My feelings would be hurt.

Gram tried to explain why I was not allowed to play with Kenny anymore.

“People are cruel. They tell you to do things. They have to think they are better. They like to tease and torment anything they think is weaker than them.”

That was news to me. I was weak? I did not think of myself as weak. Only slow. This was something else I started to wonder about. Why do people tease? I started watching people and tried to figure it out. I worked hard at being an auditor.

Manny used to tease me in a bad way, especially when he first started working at Holsted’s. He only did it when Keith and Gary were not around. He does not tease me anymore. Now he says, “How you doing, Per?” And “What we having for lunch?” and stuff like that.

Now Gary looks right into my eyes when he asks me about ordering.

“What do
you
think?” he asks. “What do
you
think?”

Everybody looks right into my eyes. That feels good. They never used to look into my eyes before. They used to look away or up in the air or in their wallets. Never into my eyes.

Keith is the same as always. He still farts next to me. He does not fart next to Cherry. He tried to once, or maybe he did by accident, and she slapped him hard.

Farting next to a girl is rude.

49

John has been calling all week about a will. My will.

He says he has someone who will help me. It is important, he says. Mike Dinelli can help too. He can help us both. I need to sign some papers for protection.

Keith is at the Veterans’ Hospital for an AA meeting. He is trying not to drink, which I think is a good thing. He goes to AA now every Saturday morning at nine. Cherry went to Marina Handy Mart to buy powdered-sugar doughnuts. We have to eat them quickly before Keith gets back because he is trying to lose weight and we are not.

My phone rings. It is always ringing.

“Is your friend Keith around?” John asks.

“No.” I do not have time to say he will be back later.

“I got you a present. A case of Hershey’s Kisses. They’re at my office. You ever see a case of Kisses?”

“Yeah!” I say. “That’s so cool. A case is a lot. We get cases of stuff at Holsted’s. I have never seen a case of Kisses before.”

“Well, I’m leaving now to pick you up and take you to my of fice. It’s very important you have a will. You’re a businessman, Perry. You can make your will and pick up the Kisses at the same time. It will be a surprise for your friends. You like surprises, right?”

I did not mean to forget he was coming. It was just that when I put on my jacket and walked downstairs to find Cherry, Gary asked me if we could babysit Kelly and Meagan.

“It’s Sandy’s birthday. I got tickets to a matinee at the Rep. I’ve got it all planned. If you two could watch the girls until six, it would be great.” Gary knows it is easier if both of us watch them.

I forget all about John. I love to play computer games with Meagan and Kelly.

Cherry gets back with doughnuts and hands me one.

“Yeah, I’ll babysit with Per. Can I take a bath?” She likes to go over to Gary and Sandy’s because there is only a shower at my place. Anytime we go over there to babysit, Cherry takes a bath. She uses bubbles and everything. We spend so much time talking to Gary that Keith gets back. He pulls into the parking lot right in front in the only handicapped space.

“Is Yo leaking oil again?” I ask. I have to wipe powdered sugar off my mouth before he notices.