Long Time Coming (25 page)

W
hat's going on? What's wrong with her?" Deidre asked as Kenisha thrashed uncontrollably around the bed. The monitors were flashing and beeping so fast, Deidre thought they were going to short out.

"She's having a seizure. This sometimes happens at the time of death," the attending nurse told her.

"Death! No. Christmas is two days away. She can't die right now. We're all spending Christmas together." Deidre's thinking was a bit irrational, considering that she didn't have the ability to grant life or death, but she leaned down and whispered in Kenisha's ear, anyway."Calm down, Kenisha. Take deep breaths. We need you here for Christmas."

The noise from the monitors decreased. Her blood pressure level was coming down. The nurse said, "Keep talking to her. Maybe she's coming out of it."

"Johnson is on his way into the room with the kids. They brought presents for you. You have to be here to open them.come on, Kenisha. I know you. You don't want to disappoint those kids, and I know it."

The thrashing stopped, and Kenisha slowly opened her eyes. When she saw Deidre standing over her, she said, "Thank God. Are the leeches gone?"

"What leeches?"

"They're all over me. They feel slimy," Kenisha said as she attempted to brush something out of her bed.

The nurse leaned over to Deidre and said, "Sometimes when patients are close to death, they have these out-of-body experiences. We can't explain it, but it looks like Kenisha has been somewhere she didn't want to be."

"I don't want to go back there," Kenisha said with tears in her eyes.

Deidre knew exactly where Kenisha had been. It was definitely time for the Roman's road-to-salvation talk.

"You don't have to," Deidre said as she sat down next to Kenisha and grabbed the girl's hands to stop her from trying to remove leeches."You're safe now, Kenisha. You don't have any leeches on you."

"They weren't in heaven," Kenisha said as the horror of her experience finally began to subside.

"Who wasn't in heaven?" Deidre asked.

"The leeches. I didn't see them in heaven."

"When did you go to heaven?"

Kenisha shifted position as she turned toward Deidre."I've been dreaming about heaven ever since that man and I talked about it. But the place I dreamed about today wasn't heaven at all. There was this voice in my ears, and he asked me to stay there with him. But it was too dark and too evil. Everybody was dead and their blood was all on the floor."

"Sorry it took us so long," Johnson said as he walked into the room with the kids."They made me stop at the snack machines and buy them all sorts of unhealthy things."

Deidre had become so engrossed in Kenisha's retelling of her horrific experience she had forgotten that Johnson and the kids had been coming along behind her. She turned to her husband and said, "Babe, do you think you could eat that stuff with the kids in the waiting area? I was just getting ready to go over the Roman's road-to-salvation with Kenisha."

Johnson did an about-face."Not a problem.come on, kids. Let's go get some more junk."

Kenisha put her hands under her head as she asked, "What's this Roman's road thing about?"

"It's called the Roman's road-to-salvation because we can find a clear and detailed map for salvation and an eternal relationship with God in the Letter to the Romans. If you'll allow me, I'd like to read and explain these scriptures to you."

Kenisha nodded, giving Deidre permission to continue.

Thank you, God. Please keep her heart open to receiving You.
"The first scriptures I want to read to you are found in Romans 1:20-21:

"For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse: Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened."

"So are you saying that because I didn't thank God for all the horrible things that happened to me, I now have to live in darkness?"

"No, Kenisha, that's not it. Let me keep going and then we can discuss. Okay?" Deidre said as she flipped over to Romans 3:23 and read: "
For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God."
She flipped some more pages and then read Romans 5:8: "
But God commended his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."

She then went to Romans 6:23: "
For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."

Kenisha interrupted Deidre with a question: "So is that why I saw all those dead people? Was that a sign to me of what happens to people who die in their sins? Because the people in heaven seemed happy. There certainly wasn't any blood on the floor."

"I think God has blessed you with a unique ability to see into heaven and hell, and then make a choice as to which place you want to live out eternity. Most people don't get a sneak peek, Kenisha. So I'm hoping that you understand how special you are to God."

"I guess I don't understand how you can say that I'm special to God when I have suffered so much heartache."

"We all suffer from something, Kenisha. That's a part of life— since evil has come into the world, God has no choice but to let things play out, so that we can choose good over evil."

"But how do you choose good or evil? I don't understand."Kenisha said with a furrowed brow.

Smiling, Deidre said, "I'm glad you asked. That information is in the next two scriptures I want to read to you out of Romans, chapter 10:
If thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation . . . For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved."

"So accepting good over evil is more like accepting God into your heart, and all you have to do to accomplish that is admit you have sinned, ask forgiveness, and believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and that God raised him from the dead. That's it."

Kenisha opened her mouth to ask another question, but that's when the party got crashed. Kevin, Aisha, and her four children burst into the room singing Christmas songs.

"Hey," Kenisha said as she looked at her family.

"Hey, yourself," Kevin said as he set his boom box down.

"We thought you could use a little cheering up, so we brought the Christmas carolers over here to sing to you about Rudolph, Frosty, and the First Noel."

Kenisha smiled and the door burst open again, and Johnson and the kids came back in.

Jamal said, "We want to sing too."

"Well, come on, boy. Anyone can join this singing group," Kevin told him.

Deidre was smiling on the outside as the kids began to sing, but inwardly she worried that she might have missed another opportunity to close the deal. And she didn't know how many more chances she would have to talk to Kenisha about God.

"Y'all sound so good. Y'all should go door-to-door, every Christmas, singing for people," Kenisha said as she began to doze off again. She wanted to pull herself awake because she didn't know if she was going to drift into a nice place or a dark and evil place. But she was so tired that she couldn't make her eyelids stay open. As she drifted further and further into sleep, Kenisha began to see snapshots of Martha's life. She watched as one man after the next walked into her house and then walked out, taking a piece of her with him.

Kenisha's mind's eye focused on Martha sitting on a porch step, smoking a cigarette. She looked young, like she was in her twenties. A little girl ran up to her with a bruised knee. Kenisha quickly realized that that little girl was her. She remembered the incident. She had been five years old, and Billy Wilson had pushed her down on the playground. She'd run all the way home to tell her mama.

When Martha saw her, she put her cigarette down and pulled Kenisha into her arms."What happened, baby?"

Kenisha pulled away so she could show Martha her knee. She pointed at it and said, "Billy knocked me down."

Martha picked Kenisha up and took her inside. She got a washcloth and wiped away the blood from Kenisha's knee. She held the cloth there until the bleeding stopped, and then she bent her head and kissed Kenisha's knee."There. See, Mama made it all better."

Suddenly, Kenisha was at her ninth birthday party. Martha had made her a cake and had boiled hot dogs for her guests. But the big deal of the day came when Martha rolled a brandnew pink bike into the living room. It had a bow on it, so Kenisha knew it was hers. She jumped out of her seat and ran to the bike. She looked at Martha with a gleam in her eyes and said, "Is it really mine?"

"All yours, baby. I hope you like it." Martha gave her a hug and then whispered in her ear, "I love you."

That was the last time Kenisha remembered her mother hugging her or saying that she loved her. Soon after that party was when Martha had discovered that Jimmy Davis had been molesting her. Kenisha thought that Martha would come to her rescue, and then things would go back to the way they had been. But although Martha threw Jimmy out, things never went back to normal. It felt to Kenisha as though Martha blamed her for yet another man leaving her. But it hadn't been Kenisha's fault. All these years, Kenisha had wanted to know why Martha hadn't stood up for her. Why hadn't Jimmy been prosecuted for what he did? Why hadn't Martha loved her more than she had loved that monster?

When she woke again, Kevin and Aisha were still there. She waved them over to her bed.

"What's up, sis?" Aisha asked.

"I want to see my mother," Kenisha said.

Kevin and Aisha exchanged stunned glances.

"You sure about that, Ke-Ke?" Kevin asked."She's been hoping that you would ask to see her."

"Yes. I'm sure. Bring her here on Christmas Eve."

D
eidre's mother arrived on the morning of Christmas Eve. Loretta then spent the day helping Deidre prepare the Christmas meal that they were going to take to hospice with them the next day. The plan was that the children would go to church with them tonight, then Deidre and Johnson would drop them off at hospice so they could spend the night with Kenisha and the rest of their family, because Kevin, Angelina, Aisha, and her children were all planning to spend the night. Aisha told Deidre that she believed Martha was going to spend the night as well, but that all depended on whether Kenisha threw her out of the room.

Deidre was going to come back home and spend the rest of Christmas Eve with Johnson and her mother. Then in the morning they would pack up the food and head out to hospice to enjoy Christmas with the rest of their family. For that is how Deidre felt. She had truly bonded with Kenisha's family and hoped that they would want to be a continuing part of the children's lives.

"Okay, the sweet potato pies are in the oven, now what?" Loretta asked her daughter as they stood in the kitchen.

"I think that's everything. Let's go sit down for a little while, I'm tired," Deidre said. They stretched out on the sectional in the family room and listened to the Christmas music that was softly playing on the radio. Johnson had taken the kids out to see the Christmas decorations throughout the neighborhood."Thanks for coming, Mom. I can't tell you how glad I am to have you here with us."

"I wouldn't have missed this for anything in the world. I got a chance to meet my grandchildren. I saw Johnson's smiling face, and tomorrow I get to meet Kenisha."

Deidre yawned."I wish you could have met her before now, and then you could have seen just what a vibrant person she was. This illness has taken its toll on her. She's pretty weak now. I'm just praying that she'll live through tomorrow. I don't want the kids to remember Christmas as the day their mother died."

"That's a worthy thing to pray for. So I'll join my faith with yours on that," Loretta said.

"Thanks, Mom," Deidre said, then asked, "Is Michelle okay with you being here? Aren't the kids going to miss you?"

"Rod's mom is coming down for Christmas. So the kids will have a grandma there for them. She's just not as much fun as I am, though," Loretta said with a chuckle.

Deidre was thrilled that her mom had come to visit, especially while she and Johnson were going through so many changes. She needed the extra support, but she didn't want her nieces and nephews to be without their NaNa. So it made Deidre feel so much better to know that Michelle's mother-in-law would be there for the grandkids.

She dozed off and when she opened her eyes, Jamal and Diamond were jumping up and down in front of her saying, "Get up, get up!"

"W-what's wrong?" Deidre said as she jumped off the couch.
Lord, please don't tell me that Kenisha is gone. Not yet, Lord, please.
"Did something happen?"

"Calm down, De," Johnson said as he came into the room."The kids are just wanting to get to church so they can see the Christmas play and then go to hospice for the sleepover with their cousins."

"Oh, okay. Let me go upstairs and get dressed. Give me twenty minutes."

"Twenty minutes?" Diamond said, as if Deidre had asked for six months.

"Yes, twenty minutes. Now, go in the kitchen and get a snack. I'll be back before you know it." Deidre headed up the stairs thanking God for yet another day of Kenisha living on earth.

Pastor Monroe was behind the pulpit welcoming the visitors when they arrived. Loretta had only attended their church once before. That was the first year that Deidre and Johnson had joined the ministry.

So Loretta stood up and proudly announced, "My name is Loretta Clark, and I am Deidre Morris's mother. I am so happy to be here celebrating Christmas with her, my son-in-law, and my new grandchildren." Loretta picked Kennedy up and hugged her as she retook her seat.

When the service ended and Deidre and Johnson prepared to leave, Deidre was feeling pretty good about her newfound freedom. So good in fact that when Mother Barrow came over to them, Deidre reached out and hugged the woman."Merry Christmas, Mother Barrow. We haven't seen you around here in a while. Have you been okay?"

"I was in Maryland, visiting my son and his wife for Thanksgiving. I stayed on until last week."

"Well, it's nice to have you back," Johnson told her.

Deidre then introduced her mother to Mother Barrow.

Mother Barrow told Loretta, "It's nice to meet you. But I came over here to get a good look at these children." She looked at Jamal, Diamond, and Kennedy as if studying them.

She then turned to Deidre and said, "Yep, these are the children that God showed me you would have, but I must say, I thought they would come one at a time." Mother Barrow laughed at herself."Isn't that just like God? He only lets us see what he wants us to see."

Johnson picked up Kennedy as he told Mother Barrow, "We're adopting them, but they're ours just the same."

Mother Barrow smiled as she asked, "Is the baby in the nursery?"

"What baby?" Deidre asked with a raised eyebrow.

"God showed me four kids. The smallest was a baby."

Deidre and Johnson glanced at each other questioningly. Okay, Deidre acknowledged that Mother Barrow had been right about the fact that they would become parents. But a fourth child? Would the courts let them adopt another child so soon after applying for the adoption of three at one time?

Mother Barrow put her hand on Deidre's stomach and closed her eyes. When she opened them, she said, "God didn't leave me wondering on this one. He's in there."

Johnson started ushering the kids out of the pew as he told Mother Barrow, "Good to have you back, but we need to get going. The kids have a sleepover to get to."

"Are you okay?" Johnson asked Deidre as they got in the car.

Deidre saw the look of concern in her husband's eyes. He was worried that she was going to flip out over Mother Barrow's prediction that she was pregnant. But Deidre had already passed through that storm, and she had learned to trust God. She wasn't running off to the drugstore to buy a pregnancy test or begin worrying that her period was going to show up any minute and dispute the prediction. If Mother Barrow was right, Deidre would be happy for the addition to their family; if she was wrong, it would not steal her joy. She told Johnson, "I am more than okay. I'm blessed to have all of you in my life." She then turned and looked toward the backseat and asked the kids, "So are you ready for your sleepover?"

"Yes!" they said in unison.

They drove the kids to hospice. Johnson took their sleeping bags out of the back of the truck and walked the kids in. Deidre latched onto her mother's arm as they slowly walked into the building."I'm proud of you, Deidre. You have grown through this experience. You seem so content and self-assured."

Deidre patted Loretta's arm."Thank you for saying that, Mom. None of this has been easy. And I really can't say how it happened, but I have truly learned to rest in Jesus."

As they walked into Kenisha's room, Deidre noted that Aisha, Kevin, and Angelina were all there, along with Aisha's children. But she didn't see Martha. While Loretta was meeting everyone, Deidre pulled Aisha to the side and said, "I thought you were going to bring Martha."

Aisha looked a bit embarrassed as she admitted, "I was, but when I got over there to pick her up, she was drunk. She claimed that she was drinking because she was so upset about Kenisha. But I told her I wouldn't bring her here in that condition."

"But Kenisha wants to see her," Deidre reminded Aisha. Matter of fact, Deidre believed that Kenisha needed to see her mother.

"Not like that, she doesn't. If I brought Martha here drunk, Kenisha would probably use all the strength she has left to tell both of us off." Aisha shook her head."I just couldn't spoil Kenisha's last Christmas like that."

"Do you mind if I go pick Martha up?" Deidre asked as an idea struck her. Before she retired, Loretta had worked for Alcoholics Anonymous. She had had one of the highest success rates in the program. Deidre believed that was largely due to the fact that she told her clients about Jesus. Maybe God had sent Loretta down here this Christmas for Martha.

"Be my guest. Just don't bring her here drunk." Aisha walked away.

On the drive over to Martha's house, it started snowing."Look at that," Johnson said."The kids are going to have a white Christmas."

"And if God is merciful, they'll have this one last Christmas with their mother," Deidre said hopefully.

Johnson pulled up in front of Martha's house."I'll go get her. Lock the doors and wait for me to come back out with her," he said as if he were planning a mission with his soldiers. He knocked on the front door, and to his surprise it opened. Martha had not closed her door all the way, so it had just eased open with Johnson's heavy-handed knock.

"W-who is it?" Martha slurred as she sat up on the couch.

"It's Johnson Morris, ma'am. I'm Deidre's husband."

"Oh, the people who are taking my grandkids away from me."

"We want to take you to see your grandkids and your daughter. Will you come with us?"

"Aisha said I was too much of a disgrace to go and see my own daughter," Martha said and then lay back down.

"No, now, don't go to sleep on me, Ms. Carson." Johnson entered the apartment and helped Martha sit back up."Do you want to see Kenisha?"

At the mention of Kenisha's name, Martha began to cry. She wrapped her arms around herself and said, "I want to see my baby. But my baby don't want to see me."

"That's not true, Ms. Carson. Kenisha has asked for you. She very much wants to see you."

Martha looked up, hope creasing the corners of her eyes."She does?"

"Yes, she does. Now I'm going to go get my wife so she can help you get a change of clothes together. We're going to take you to our house so you can get some coffee and some sleep. We'll take you to Kenisha in the morning, okay?"

Martha nodded and then said, "Thank you."

Deidre came in and helped Martha pick out an outfit and underclothes to change into. Then they drove home.

Deidre fixed a pot of coffee while Loretta and Martha sat at the kitchen counter talking. The two women talked as if they had known each other for years, but Loretta had always had that effect on people. She firmly believed that loving-kindness drew people in. It didn't matter who the person was, Loretta loved them and treated them with kindness and respect.

When the coffee was ready, Loretta cut into one of the sweet potato pies and gave Martha a slice."This pie is good. The coffee ain't bad, either," Martha said.

"There's plenty more where that came from, so just let us know when you need a refill," Deidre told her, because in truth she thought it would take at least three cups to get Martha on the road to being somewhat sober.

"Thanks. You all are good people. I can see why Kenisha wanted you to take care of the kids. I just hope I get to see them from time to time."

"Johnson and I aren't trying to take the kids away from you. We want them to remain connected with all of you. I think Kenisha would want that also," Deidre told the woman.

Martha shook her head."She don't want me around my grandkids. She thinks I drink too much. But I wasn't always like this." She lowered her head and started crying.

Deidre started to say something, but Loretta shook her head. She pushed the coffee cup in front of Martha and remained silent.

Martha drank the coffee and then said, "If it wasn't for that lowdown Jimmy Davis, I would have a better relationship with all of my kids. He owes me, but he never even said he was sorry." She took another sip of her coffee."But like I told Kevin, God will get him."

"Ms. Carson, I hope this doesn't come off the wrong way, but why didn't you have him arrested?" Deidre asked.

"I thought about it," Martha said."But Angelina hadn't done nothing to nobody, and she needed child support. Jimmy wouldn't have been able to provide for Angelina if he was locked up."

Deidre opened her mouth to condemn the woman for being so selfish, but again Loretta admonished her to keep quiet.

Martha said, "I thought I did the right thing. But I haven't stopped drinking since that monster did those awful things to my baby. Kenisha thinks that I was drunk when it was happening to her, but that isn't true. I started having problems getting to sleep, so Jimmy gave me these sleeping pills. But I never imagined that he was pumping me with sleeping pills so that he could rape my children."

They talked for several hours. Once Deidre started yawning, Loretta suggested that her daughter go upstairs with her husband while the two grannies retired to the family room. Deidre brought pillows and comforters to them and then asked, "Are you sure you don't want to sleep upstairs in the kids' bedrooms?"

"We're fine down here. We'll probably watch some Christmas movies until we fall asleep," Loretta said.

"Okay, see you in the morning," Deidre said as she went back to her bedroom.

She woke Johnson up."I need to talk."

Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he said, "What's up?"

"Before talking to Martha, I was condemning her as much as Kenisha does, but my heart goes out to Martha because I can see that she is in a lot of pain."

"From what you told me about their family situation, it sounds like Martha has a lot to be in pain about."

Deidre had only been looking at this from Kenisha's side. But Martha had to live with the knowledge that she was partly to blame for what happened to Kenisha and Kevin when they were children. Then she had to live through the murder of one of her children, and now she would have to stand by and watch Kenisha die. It's easy to judge, but much harder to walk in another person's shoes."I'm nervous about taking Martha to see Kenisha tomorrow. I don't want Kenisha to disrespect her mother. That's just going to take her ten steps back from where she needs to be. And I've been praying fervently that Kenisha would learn to forgive and accept Jesus into her heart."