LivingfortheMoment_F (3 page)

"What do you take me for?" I demanded, struggling to refasten my bra and blouse.

"Here. Let me do that." He brushed my fingers away, leaned in for another quick kiss and sucked each of my nipples, and then calmly refastened my bra and blouse.

"I don't know what you take me for—"

"Don't you? Then I'll tell you. I take you for a woman with very sweet, kissable lips and rather large, natural breasts," he said. "Damn, Sherlyn. Your breasts are large and natural. Do you have any idea how rare natural breasts are these days?"

"All the women I know have their own breasts." Well, all but one. "You must have been dating the wrong type of women," I said, trying to get my emotions under control and my resolve back on track.

He laughed. "So Am's been telling me."

"And you did more than just kiss me," I reminded him.

He smiled.

"You had your fingers inside me!"
And you made me come
.

"So I did." He licked the fingers he'd slipped inside me before he turned to look at me. "Hmm. I like the way you taste when you've been sexually satisfied."

And I liked the way his fingers had felt thrusting inside and satisfying me. But I said nothing.

"I'll bet I'll like the way you feel even more."

I blushed and my stomach muscles clenched. "Don't hold your breath waiting to find out."

"Don't worry. I won't. However, just so there's no misunderstanding, if given the chance, I'll have more than my fingers inside you."

Oh God. Just the thought nearly made me wet.

"And if you think you enjoyed my fingers…"

My heart raced at his words.
You cannot allow him anywhere near your bare pussy again.
I shook my head. "Who spiked your water?"

He turned to lock his gaze on me. "Do I have to have drunk spiked water to like the idea of sex with you?"

What I wouldn't have given to hear that question when I was so in love with him, it hurt just to see him smile at another woman. And on the rare occasions when we were in the same place, at the same time, he was forever smiling at strange women who couldn't possibly want him as much as I did. "You never have before," I reminded him.

"Says who?"

I frowned. "Me."
The woman on the receiving end of your countless years of cool indifference.

"And how would you know how I felt or what I did or didn't want?"

"I just do."

"Are you sure about that?"

After twelve long years of yearning for crumbs of his attention that he consistently denied me while raining them down on every skinny blond he stumbled across? "Yes I am."

"Why are you sure? Because I never acted on any interest I might have felt before now?"

I blinked. "Now you must think I've been drinking spiked water too. You've never been interested."

"Haven't I? Not even occasionally?"

"Not even occasionally. Not ever."

"And if I tell you that I might have been? Then what?"

"I wouldn't believe you, Darkwater."

"What do you mean you wouldn't believe me?"

"I wouldn't."

"Why the hell would I lie about it, Sherlyn?"

I parted my lips.

He held up a hand. "And before you imply that I might lie to land you in bed, we both know that wouldn't have been necessary then or now."

I blushed and said nothing. First, he fingered me to orgasm on a public street and now he wanted to make me feel bad? What had I ever seen in this guy worth loving besides his big, to die for masculine body and killer smile, and dark, sexy eyes?

Almost as if he sensed what I was feeling, he spoke in a softened voice. "I apologize. I shouldn't have said that."

"Then why did you?"

"Your pretending to know things about me you don't pissed me off," he admitted. "Not to mention your practically calling me a liar to my face when I've never lied to you."

He'd spoken to me so rarely there had been no occasion to lie. "If you were so damned interested why didn't you ever…"

"Why didn't I ever what?"

Tell me…hold me…kiss me…fuck me.
"Why didn't you ever give any indication of it?"

He sighed. "I had my reasons."

"Such as?"

"In case you've forgotten, when we first met you were sixteen. I was twenty-five."

"And didn't even know I was alive."

He shrugged. "I would have been a sorry excuse for a grown man had I harbored a sexual interest in a sixteen-year-old girl."

I couldn't deny that. "Okay. Fine. And when I was twenty and older?"

"You're my sister's best friend. She'd have hated me had I…"

"Had you what?"

"Had I acted on any interest or feelings I might have felt and you ended up hurt."

I did end up hurt, you big jerk. I hurt for twelve long, damned years while you pretended I didn't exist. Now you expect me to believe you had any interest in me at all.
"Honestly, Darkwater, I can't see you allowing something like that to stand in your way had you really been interested."

"You think you know me well enough to make that statement?"

I knew he was uncaring of my feelings for him and always had been. I nodded.

"You don't know me at all, Sherlyn."

"If I don't, that's because you never let me know you when I wanted to." When I ached to know you.

"When you wanted to? What does that mean?"

"It means the time when I wanted to know you is long past."

"Damn." He inhaled slowly and shook his head. "You sound as if you mean that."

I nodded. "I do."

"I know you're pissed, but are you sure about that?"

"I'm positive."

"I see. Well, never mind the past. This is a new day," he said and started the engine.

I studied his profile. "Where are you taking me?" I asked in a tight voice I struggled to keep from rising.

"No need to panic, Sherlyn. I'm taking you to dinner."

"Thanks, but no thanks."

"We have reservations. Remember? We've had them for nearly a week. And now that we've gotten the kiss out of the way, you won't have to spend the rest of the night wondering if I plan to kiss you when I take you home."

"I wasn't wondering any such thing." And I hadn't been because I'd never imagined he would kiss my cheek again. Forget those blistering kisses and thrusting his fingers uninvited into my pussy and making me come.

He shrugged. "All right. Then I won't have to wonder if you were wondering about it. Now we both know what's going to happen when I take you home."

We do?
"What?"

"I'm sure you heard me. By the way, are you on birth control?"

"That's none of your concern," I said after a moment of stunned silence.

"Actually, it is because when I take you home, I plan to thrust something a lot bigger and harder than my fingers inside you."

"What?"

"You're starting to sound like an echo chamber."

"What?"

He turned to look in my eyes.

I stared back, feeling my heartbeat quickening again. At this rate, I'd be hyperventilating soon.

"Apparently, I haven't made myself clear. So let me do that now. Just so there's absolutely no misunderstanding between us, when I take you home, I'm going to fuck you."

My heart thumped. "You're going to what?"

"I'm going to fuck you," he said again. "All damn night long."

Oh God. His words created a maelstrom of conflicting emotions in me. "You are not putting your fingers back inside me," I said, even as I ached with desire at the thought of him doing just that.

"It's not my fingers you need to worry about when we're alone again," he said calmly and merged into traffic.

Chapter Three

Sherlyn

The rest of the evening was surreal—at least for me. Darkwater behaved as if he hadn't fingered me to a climax in the car and hadn't declared his intention to fuck me all night long.

At the restaurant, we ordered and made small talk while waiting for our first course. While I nibbled at my food, he ate his with every sign of enjoyment. Each time I looked up, I found his dark gaze locked on me but he kept the conversation on impersonal topics.

After coffee, he pushed his cup away and looked across the table at me. "Would you like to dance?"

After the way he'd thrust his fingers into my pussy, there was no way I was going to slow dance with him in public. I shook my head. "No thanks."

"I would."

I shrugged. "I wouldn't."

He rose and stood at my side with his hand extended. "I want to dance with you."

I shook my head again.

He stood there in silence with his hand extended until I finally placed mine in his.

"Let's dance," he said and urged me to my feet.

Despite my best efforts not to surrender to my old feelings for him, walking hand in hand with him to the dance floor was more than nice. It felt almost magical.

When he stopped and drew me into his arms for the first time, a well of emotion and yearning overwhelmed me. Until I'd met and fallen in love with Don, I'd spent twelve long, lonely years fantasizing about such a moment with Darkwater without any expectation of those wild dreams ever becoming reality.

Now, when I least expected it and didn't want it to happen, it was. I struggled to suppress a shudder at the thought of suffering through a long, intimate dance with him when I had no intensions of allowing any further intimacy from him. But I'd worked myself up for nothing. During our two slow dances, he kept his hands above my waist and didn't grind against me.

In fact, he behaved so matter-of-factly that I'd almost convinced myself that I'd daydreamed that scene in his car. By the time we left the restaurant, I no longer felt tense. Back in his car, he asked about my job as a programmer. Of course, we weren't in the same league, but I was flattered that a man whose computer skills had made him a multi-millionaire even deigned to discuss programming with me. I relaxed further.

His casual manner lasted right up to the moment we stood inside my apartment saying good night. At least I thought we were saying good night. "Thanks. I had a nice time," I said and offered him my hand.

"So did I," he said but made no effort to shake hands.

"Well, good. I'm glad because I did too." Realizing I was in danger of babbling like an idiot, I shut up and waited for him to leave so I could breathe again.

"And now let's have an even nicer one, Sherlyn."

"What?"

He smiled. "There's that echo chamber going on again. When did you first realize you were losing your hearing and have you seen a doctor?"

On the verge of babbling
what
again, I pressed my lips together. Looking up into his dark gaze I found it impossible not to recall and relish those too delicious minutes in his car when he had taken complete possession of my pussy and my desire and made me come on his fingers.

Don't. Don't think of that sweet madness or you're going to be lost.
I sucked in a quick breath and silently begged him,
Leave now. Please. Go before you make me do something I don't want to do and take me to a place I no longer want to be.

Instead, he took my hand in his and drew me close to his big body and into a warm, close embrace.

Oh…God. I bit my lip and shook my head. "Darkwater—"

"Shh. I told you what was going to happen when I bought you home."

"There's a picture of Don in my bedroom," I said in an effort to derail his obvious desire. "On my nightstand."

He frowned. "There is?"

I nodded.

"I thought you said—"

"His picture is on my nightstand," I warned.

He inhaled slowly before shrugging. "Lucky Don. I hope he's not easily embarrassed at what he's going to see me do to you tonight." He brushed his lips against my cheek. "Or rather what we're going to do to each other."

"Darkwater…" When I looked up at him, he bent his head.

I closed my eyes and turned away from his lips. They brushed my cheek instead of my mouth.

"No, sweet. It's too late to stop what's going to happen," he said and slid the tip of his tongue along my ear lobe.

He might as well have sent a surge of electricity through me.

I shivered and blindly turned my mouth towards his.

"That's it," he whispered. "I need you to want this as much as I do."

No longer able to pretend that I didn't want him to fuck me, I slipped my arms around him and tilted my chin.

The moment his lips touched mine, I knew one of my wildest daydreams was about to come true. Still, afraid of getting hurt again, I briefly considered pushing him away but that just was not a viable option—not after years of yearning for the smallest sign of sexual interest from him. Now I had his attention and I finally admitted that I'd never wanted it more.

I knew the coming intimacy would mean nothing to him. I'd just be another in a long line of women eager to be his latest ho. I knew it and I didn't care. Because although I wanted him as much as I ever had, I was no longer in love with him. I didn't need or require him to pretend to feelings he didn't possess.

I was aroused and just wanted to live for the moment and have him fuck me until my knees buckled and all I could think about was making him come. The need driving me was strictly carnal. I wanted sex from him instead of something I suspected he was incapable of giving: at least to me—love.

Stay focus on getting the sexual satisfaction you need and nothing else and you'll come out of this night with a fuck to remember but with your heart unscathed.
I burrowed close and kissed his firm, warm lips with a slow passion that was all the sweeter for having been so long denied.

As he deepened the kiss and thrust his tongue between my lips, I rocked my hips against his and moaned. "Darkwater…"

He slid his hands around my body to cup my ass and pull me tight against his groin.

None of my wildest fantasies had prepared me for what I felt at that moment. Lord what a wonderful sensation to feel the outline of his cock and to know it would soon be sliding inside me.