LivingfortheMoment_F (9 page)

I opened my eyes, feeling totally in love with him. I reached down, gripped the base of his cock and pressed it against my slit. "Take me…please…I'm yours, Thomas. All yours, my love."

"I doubt that." He pushed his hips forward, sliding into me with a long, almost painful stroke.

All semblance of tenderness had vanished. I didn't care. I smiled and closed my eyes in preparation for a hard fuck.

"Open your eyes."

I reluctantly obeyed.

Once I had, he didn't disappoint. Nipping and biting gently at my neck and ear, he pounded my pussy with such intensity my thighs shook with each movement and my passion built.

I could feel the tension in his beautiful body and was eager to make him come as hard as I had. I raked my hands down his back to part his hard cheeks. Sliding a finger down his nether crease, I probed for his anus.

He stiffened on top of me. "No," he said.

"Yes," I whispered. "You're in me raw and I'm going to be in your ass." I pressed against his anus until I managed to push my finger up into his tight passage.

"Shit. That's uncomfortable," he said.

I smiled up at him and began to finger fuck his ass gently as he lay pinning me on my back with a pussy full of deliciously bare cock. "You'll learn to love it," I promised.

I think my finger thrusting in his ass was the incentive he needed to let himself go. He suddenly groaned several times, gripped my hips to hold me still, and came inside me.

I closed my eyes, kept my finger moving in his ass, and squeezed my pussy around his exploding cock. Only when he stopped coming and lay unmoving on me, did I ease my finger out of him. I held him as he lay trembling in my arms.

"Oh, fuck," he finally whispered. "We can't do that again."

I sighed but knew he was right. If we did, I'd fall completely back in love with him. "I know," I said.

He eased out of my pussy and rolled onto his back.

I wanted to turn and press my body against his but something about his silence and the tension I felt emanating from him gave me pause. I waited for him to do what he always did after sex, pull me close and slip his bare cock in me.

When he didn't, I realized I'd made a fatal mistake having unprotected sex with him. Having gotten what he'd wanted all along, there was no need for him to cuddle with me and lie inside me raw. And I was on the verge of falling in love with him all over again.

We lay side my side but not touching long enough for me to know he wasn't going to hold me. When I turned onto my side away from him, I felt him roll onto his away from me.

After the most intense experience of my life with the man I'd wanted it with the most, I felt like crying. Remembering I'd call him my love during sex, I knew our relationship wouldn't last much longer. He'd pull away from me as soon as he decently could.

In the morning, I woke in bed alone. Although there was a tray with covered plates on the nightstand, I knew he wouldn't be joining me as he usually did. After picking at breakfast, I got up, showered and dressed. Then I steeled myself to face him because I knew the previous night had changed everything.

I found him seated on the patio working on his laptop. Although he rose when I walked out to join him, I saw no warmth in his gaze or brief smile. Any doubts I'd had that our relationship was on life support vanished.

After our reckless behavior, his ardor cooled considerably. I no longer found him waiting in the parking lot when I left work and there were no more calls during the day just to say hi. We continued to sleep together. Still, I couldn't deny the emotional magic was gone. During sex, he hounded me to keep my eyes open when all I wanted to do was close them so I could lose myself in the joy of what was happening while pretending it wasn't on the verge of ending.

He always used a condom after that night and when I attempted to put his bare cock back in my pussy after sex, he always stopped me. He frequently seemed short tempered and looking for an excuse to argue.

Although the thought made me ache, I decided I needed to end things with him while my heart was still relatively intact. I knew he was looking for a way to end things with me. I also knew that if he walked away from me, it would hurt as nothing else ever had.

I wanted our sweet interlude to end on my terms so I didn't show up to spend a planned weekend at his house. That Saturday morning, I sat at home rehearsing what I'd say when he called to ask if I wanted him to come pick me up. However, the hours passed, he didn't call, and I ached with the knowledge of how little I meant to him.

At one point, I looked out my window and gave a sigh of relief when I saw his car pulling into my second space. Despite my resolve not to see him again, I rushed into my bedroom, pulled out a small suitcase and quickly started to toss clothes into it in preparation for spending what I promised myself would be the last weekend with him.

Halfway through packing my phone rang. Recognizing Amber's ring, I picked up my cellphone. "Hi, Am," I said. "I'm in the middle of something. Can I call you back?"

 "Sure. I just wanted to ask if you're all right."

I frowned and chose my words carefully. Although I felt guilty, I hadn't told her that I was seeing Darkwater. Seeing him? Acting as his latest ho was more like it. "I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

She hesitated before responding. "I have John's credit card."

"Lucky woman," I said smiling.

"Yes. I know. I wondered if you'd like to spend the day shopping. John's treat, of course."

"I'd love to but I can't," I said. Darkwater would be buzzing for entrance any moment now. And I was determined to get the most out of our last weekend as lovers. "Can I get a rain check?"

"Ok. I'll call you in a few days but if you need to talk before then, call me anytime."

I frowned. If I didn't know better, I'd suspect she knew I'd soon have a reason to need to talk once things ended between Darkwater and me. "I'll call you," I said.

"Okay. Talk to you later."

I finished packing and then frowned. Where the hell was Darkwater? I walked back into the living room and looked down onto the parking lot. My heart sank. Darkwater's car was gone.

I sat waiting for him to call or return. He did neither. Not that day or any day afterwards. And just like that, six weeks after it had started, our brief moment was over. Moreover, despite all my efforts, I felt wounded, hurt, and disappointed. But I knew I had no one to blame but myself.

I'd known all along that I meant nothing to him but had slept with him anyway. Now I was reaping what I'd sowed—near heartbreak.

Chapter Seven

Sherlyn

The first week after the breakup with Darkwater was hard because I was sure he was happily fucking other women while I lay alone in bed at night struggling not to cry myself to sleep. In the mornings, stepping into the shower knowing I'd never hear him singing
You're My Remedy
again made a bad start to each day. There were clear consequences in living for the moment that I was now paying. But I was determined not to sink into despair so I fought back all urges to cry during the day. Finally, I managed to do the same at night.

Three weeks later, I was dining with Amber and John at a new Society Hill restaurant when I looked up to see Darkwater arriving. He wasn't alone. A stunning, slender blonde clung to his arm as if she were afraid he'd be stolen from her if she left him alone for a moment.

My gaze locked briefly with his across the room before I clenched my hands under the table and quickly looked away. My heart pounded wildly and my throat felt uncomfortably tight.

"Oh, hell," Amber whispered before looking at me. "Are you all right, Sher?"

I nodded, afraid to speak in case my voice cracked. I still hadn't told her I was seeing him and she'd never pushed the issue, but I was certain she knew we'd had a brief sexual relationship.

"Why don't we go someplace where we can dance?" John suggested.

I looked at him and suspected he knew as well. I nodded, grateful I wouldn't have to remain in the same restaurant where Darkwater was wining and dining his newest ho.

John signaled for the waiter. Before we could leave, I looked up to see Darkwater crossing the room to our table. Thankfully, the blonde remained behind.

He and John exchanged cool nods before he spoke to Am. Then he looked at me. "How are you?"

As if he cared. "I'm fine." I glanced at the blonde, still seated at their table, watching us before meeting his gaze again. "I see you are too." I wanted to make some snide remark about blondes being back in season but decided not to give him the satisfaction of knowing how hurt I felt.

"You never give up. Do you, Sherlyn?"

"What?"

"You were the one who walked out on me, but you want to play the victim."

Yes, I'd ended it but only to save myself the pain of having him do it. "You know why I did."

"I haven't got a damned clue what you're talking about." He shook his head. "But I see you're still doing what you do best."

"And what is that, Darkwater?"

"Ball busting, Drake. What else?"

I sucked in a breath, feeling wounded.

"Thomas!" Amber stared at him.

He inhaled quickly but remained silent, staring at me.

I blinked to keep tears at bay and stared back.

John placed a hand over mine briefly, before he rose and faced Darkwater. "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing's wrong with me."

"Then where the hell do you get off talking to her like that, Darkwater?" John demanded.

Darkwater tore his gaze from mine to look at John. "I suggest you stay out of this, Reddorn."

"You can suggest what the hell you like. She's with us. You think I'm going to sit here and let you disrespect her? After all the shit you gave me when I was being an ass with Am? If she's such a ballbuster, why don't you take your busted balls and head back to your date and leave her the hell alone?"

For a moment, I was afraid the two men who were probably never going to like each other might escalate their dislike into a physical confrontation.

"It's all right, John," I managed in a low voice.

"No it's not all right, Sherlyn. I'll be damned if I'm going to sit by while he disrespects you! He has no right coming over here just to talk shit to you."

"John." Amber gripped John's arm and looked at Darkwater. "Thomas? You know this isn't right and she doesn't deserve this."

He glared at John and cast a brief inscrutable glance at me.

I bit my lip and looked away.

He swore and turned to walk back across the room to his table.

"Who the fuck does he think he is? I'd love to go put my foot up his ass," John said before he finally resumed his seat.

"That's my brother, Johnny," Amber said.

He nodded. "And that's the only reason my foot isn't already up his hypocritical ass."

She gave him an annoyed looked before she reached across the table to put her hand over mine. "He didn't mean that, Sher."

I nodded. "Yes he did."

John placed his hand over both of ours. "He's a dumbass, honey, but I think Am's right. Men can say and do some incredibly stupid and hurtful things when hurt or angry. I don't think he intended to hurt you."

However, I knew he'd said just what he meant, knowing it would hurt me. He'd gone from singing that I was his remedy to calling me hurtful names in public. He'd meant to hurt me. And he had.

The waiter came over and we left. By that time, it was difficult to keep tears at bay.

Both Amber and John tried to talk me into spending the night at his place, where Amber spent most of her nights. While I appreciated their concern, I wanted to be home alone to have the freedom to express my feelings without trying to conceal the level of pain I felt from them.

And there was pain. Although I was no longer in love with Darkwater, it still hurt to see him with another woman so soon after our breakup. It hurt and I admit I cried myself to sleep that night. During the night, I woke remembering how good the sex had been between us and all the nights we'd spent so happily together. Then I remembered he thought I was a ballbuster and I cried again.

The following morning I got up and took stock of the situation and of myself.

All I had to show for sleeping with him was a box full of expensive jewelry, a few wildly expensive designer outfits, all the latest tech gadgets, and a slightly battered heart. If nothing else, if I ever fell on hard financial times, I could sell the jewelry he'd given me.

An hour later, an elaborate bouquet arrived. I knew Darkwater had sent it. Heart pounding and hands trembling, I removed the card and read it.

I had no right to speak to you the way I did last night. My apologies. Darkwater.

Darkwater. Not Thomas. And the impersonal my apologies instead of the more personal, please forgive me. He was sorry but he wanted to make it clear he was only apologizing—not looking to rekindle our brief affair.

Vowing I'd shed my last tear over him, I tossed the flowers in the trash and went to take a cool shower. When I emerged from the bathroom, I'd made a game plan that did not include wasting another moment of my time longing for what I could never have—a real relationship with him that was not centered on our mutual sexual attraction.

Besides, he'd made it more than clear that he was no longer sexually attracted to me. So be it. I whipped myself into shape again. The pain of seeing him with another woman gave me the incentive I needed to put memories of our steamy affair behind me.

The coming months would be difficult as I'd need to see him frequently as Amber and John's wedding approached. I knew the tension between me and Darkwater placed a burden on Amber at a time when she had enough on her plate dealing with the cool reception John's kids had given her.

I offered to give up being Amber's maid of honor, but she wouldn't hear of it.

"Oh, no, Sher. No!" She said as we had dinner two nights after our encounter with Darkwater. "I know things will be difficult for you, but you're my best friend and he's my brother."