Living with Love (Lessons in Love) (5 page)

****

“Are you sure you’re not mad at me?” Ashley asked for the third time as she checked her reflection in the mirror.

“It’s honestly fine,” Alex reassured her.

“But I feel like I’m letting you down.” Ashley sighed, dropping onto her bed. “I mean, this is supposed to be a man-free vacation, and here I am, ditching you on our last day in Europe to meet a guy for coffee! What am I doing? I’m the worst friend ever!”

“Ash, relax
. It’s okay.” Alex smiled. “You like Ricardo; you might as well meet him for coffee today. I’d never forgive myself if I stood in the way of true love!”

“As if he’s my true love
.” Ashley playfully threw a cushion at her friend in protest. “He’s just some waiter I met on vacation.”

“Then don’t go,” Alex challenged, seeing the pained look flicker behind Ashley’s eyes at the thought of not meeting with him.

“It’s okay to like him, you know.” Alex laughed.

“I don’t.”

“You do. You’re just in denial.” Alex grinned. “It always happens initially.”

“Promise you’re okay for me to go?” Ashley asked once more.

“I promise!” Alex raised her voice to reinforce her sincerity. “Now you need to get going or else you’ll be late for your date!”

“Okay, okay, I’m going
.” Ashley got up and quickly spritzed herself with a fresh dose of perfume.

“Tell Ricardo I said hi,” Alex called after her friend
, who left the room amidst the smell of vanilla and hair spray.

Alone in the hotel room, Alex wondered how she should spend her final day in Rome. There was still so much to see, so much of the culture to take in. A part of her wanted to go to Vatican City, just to see it. But then there were the museums
, which were bursting with great works of art, but the
Mona Lisa
had been a disappointment; perhaps art wasn’t the way to go.

Suddenly, as she sat deliberating, Alex felt unbearably lonely. She realized in that moment
, as she sat on the bed looking down at maps and tour guides, just how much she missed being in a relationship, having that person to connect with, to explore the world with. She knew that if Oscar were there, he’d want to take in as much art as possible. He’d haul her around all the museums, spouting wisely about each piece they stood in front of. Mark was more of a mystery; Alex wasn’t sure what exactly he’d do if he were in Rome. She imagined he’d care more for the history of the ancient city, exploring the Coliseum in detail and visiting other historic spots.

Sighing wistfully to herself, Alex wondered what the two men who haunted her mind were doing at that exact same moment, and if they
, too, were thinking of her.

But then she thought of the man who eclipsed them both, her father. He was always so much fun on vacations. He’d take Alex and Andy to theme parks and join them on all the rides. Her father made life seem exciting, making each moment count. Looking back, it was almost as if he’d known that his time with them would be cut short
, but of course, that was impossible. He just lived for the moment and didn’t take anything for granted.

Full of renewed purpose
, Alex decided to follow her father’s lead and do as much as possible on her final day in Rome. She would visit the Vatican, stroll through museums, and absorb as much of the city as she could.

****

As the sun began to set on Rome, Alex sat alone at a small café, nursing a cappuccino. Ashley had been gone all day, as she’d anticipated even though she’d insisted that she wouldn’t be long. In eight short hours they would be flying away from Europe, back to America.

It seemed strange to imagine being back home
, as Alex sat outside in the lazy evening heat, watching couples walk past, talking excitedly together in a foreign tongue. A faint breeze danced through Alex’s loose blonde hair, stroking her cheek. She glanced at her cell phone, which was positioned on the table before her. She’d text Ashley a few times but heard nothing back.

Picking up the device
, Alex scrolled through her list of contacts and settled on one name, staring at it intently. Drunk on the freedom of being away on vacation, Alex wanted to call him, to hear his voice again. She wanted to speak to Mark. But it had been so long. What would she even say?

For at least ten minutes Alex looked at her phone and debated whether or not she should call him. In her mind she reread the last letter he had sent her
; he had promised to wait for her, however long that would be. Four years had passed since their romance ended. Shouldn’t feelings have dulled in that time?

Alex looked at his name on her digital touch screen. His number might not even be the same. But she’d only know if she called. Alex moved her thumb to initiate the call when her phone suddenly beeped to alert her to an incoming text message. It was from Ashley. She was back at the hotel.

Briefly, Alex was struck numb. She had come so close to calling Mark, but it was as if fate had intervened, distracting her from connecting with him. She paused for a moment, still considering calling him, and then ultimately decided against it, raising her hand to a nearby waiter to ask for the check.

****

“So how was your date?” Alex asked as she entered the room.

Ashley was
sitting on her bed, already wearing her nightdress, the makeup she’d so carefully applied earlier now scrubbed off.

Walking in and seeing her like that, with boys the topic of the evening
, made Alex think of their bedroom back in Princeton, and the biting realisation that when they returned to America they wouldn’t be able to meet like this anymore overwhelmed her. Alex began to cry, soft, regretful tears.

“Oh no, what is it? I knew I shouldn’t have left you alone all day
. I’m so sorry!” Ashley was instantly by her side, hugging her.

“No, no, it’s not that
.” Alex sniffed.

“Then what is it?”

“It’s just… this is our final night together, for goodness knows how long. For four years you’ve always been there for me, and now I have to go and live in a strange city, on my own, and I don’t know if I can do it without you there! I’m going to miss you so much!” Alex was now weeping, and her words brought tears to Ashley’s eyes too.

“I’m going to miss you too,” Ashley declared, her tears quickly intensifying to sobs.

The girls hugged one another, crying over their time together drawing to a close as life inevitably pulled them forward and apart. As much as they might want to, they couldn’t stay in college forever. Alex knew that the hardest part of growing up was the distance that formed between you and your loved ones. She didn’t want to let Ashley go, didn’t want to end their late night chats about boys. She had become more than a best friend to her; they were like sisters.

“I wanted to wait to give you this,” Ashley said tearfully, w
iping at her cheeks as she pulled away from Alex and retrieved something from under her bed.

“I know you don’t like me giving you gifts
, but this is more of a present for me,” Ashley insisted, handing Alex a neatly wrapped box with a pink bow on top.

“What is it?” Alex looked at the box in puzzlement.

“Open it and see,” Ashley urged, getting a tissue to help her quash her stream of tears.

Alex carefully unwrapped the box and gasped when she saw that it contained an iPad. She looked up at her friend in disbelief.

“I can’t accept this,” she said, shoving the gift towards Ashley, who merely pushed it back into her friend’s arms.

“Yes
, you can, like I said, it’s more of a gift for me. You see, this way, we can Skype together every night, even if we’re in bed, so we don’t have to stop having our end-of-day chats!”

Alex looked first to the box and then to Ashley, her look of shock melting into a wide smile.

“I don’t know what to say,” she admitted.

“Thank you will suffice!” Ashley grinned.

“Thank you, thank you so much!” Alex reached out and embraced her friend tightly. She wanted to thank her for so much more than the iPad but didn’t have the words.

“I got you something too,” Alex admitted sheepishly. “Though it isn’t as impressive as your gift.”

“I bet it is.” Ashley smiled.

Alex opened her bedside cabinet and pulled out an ornate silver photo frame, within which was the image that the girls had taken previously when they were on the London eye.

“Oh my God, when did you get this printed?” Ashley squealed with delight when Alex handed it to her.

“I did it today,” Alex admitted shyly.

“And the frame, it’s so beautiful, so me!”

“It’s from Paris,” Alex explained. “I thought, the picture is from London, the frame from Paris and they all came together in Rome, so it kind of represents our whole trip.”

“It’s amazing,” Ashley gushed. “I’m going to treasure it always.” She clutched the picture tightly to her chest and then put it down by her bed, smiling fondly at the image, already knowing that wherever she went, she would take it with her and always feel that warm, fond feeling of true friendship whenever she looked at it.

“I guess we should really get to bed
.” Alex sighed sadly.

“Or we could stay up all night talking,” Ashley suggested mischievously.

“I like the sound of that,” Alex agreed. “Besides, I need to hear all the dirt about your date with Ricardo.”

“There
’s no dirt to dish,” Ashley said coyly.

“Oh
, come off it!” Alex threw a cushion at her best friend. “Did you kiss him? Oh my God, you so kissed him!”

The girls erupted into fits of giggles as Ashley tried in vain to deny that she’d kissed Ricardo.

****

As dawn broke over Rome, the girls, red-eyed from lack of sleep
, wearily pulled their luggage into the airport for the final plane journey home. There was a bittersweet feeling between them, as both knew that on returning to America, nothing would be the same for them. They’d be living on opposite sides of the country.

“I need to hear all about New York,” Ashley insisted as they both downed a much-needed espresso.

“And I want to hear all about your fancy-pants political job,” Alex said.

“Well then, that’s the beauty of Skype
. We must call each other every night, no exceptions.”

“No exceptions,” Alex agreed solemnly.

“Thank you for an amazing vacation,” Ashley said sincerely, toasting Alex with her miniature cup and saucer.

“Thank you for an amazing four years,” Alex said, growing tearful.

“No tears!” Ashley declared, quickly passing Alex a napkin. “I want our parting to be a happy one. Besides, I’m already planning on coming to the Big Apple for Thanksgiving!”

Alex smiled, excited for what lay ahead even if it was frightening in magnitude. Soon she’d be living alone
and working a new job within one of the busiest cities in the world. But beyond that there was Christmas, when Alex planned to return to Woodsdale, where she would inevitably see Mark once more, and the thought of seeing him again scared her more than any of the other changes that were looming on the horizon of her future.

The sounds of New York City pulsated into Alex’s eardrums. There was the constant honking of car horns interspersed with the high-pitched squeal of a siren. It was an endless drone of noise, which didn’t stop even after she’d closed the door to her one
-room apartment.

“Dare I say, I prefer the trailer,” Andy commented as he placed a cardboard box full of Alex’s belongings onto the bare wooden floor.

“Andy, be kind,” Jackie immediately berated her son. Then she looked around the small space herself and felt her heart drop. He had been right to state that the trailer dwelling back in Woodsdale was preferable.

Alex’s new apartment was tiny. One square space comprised the foldaway bed
, which was currently hidden in the wall, and a miniature kitchen area, which was basically a camping stove and a sink; there was no fridge. Behind a partition was a toilet and shower. It was all basic and squashed together as though a whole house had been forced to exist within someone’s hallway.

Moving to the grime
-covered window, Jackie glanced down at the street below, where they’d previously exited their yellow taxi and walked up three flights of stairs to Alex’s apartment. The building didn’t have an elevator.

“It was all I could afford,” Alex explained, not bothered about the cramped living conditions. She’d found somewhere she could live alone, in New York
, which she knew was huge. She didn’t want to be living with strangers. She’d be talking with Ashley every night anyway, so she wouldn’t feel lonely.

“It just needs a good cleaning
, that’s all.” Jackie smiled brightly. “And we’re here to help.”