Lights and Shadows (Oregon In Love) (13 page)

Her heart was another matter. He hadn’t been to the B
& B in almost two weeks and she missed him more than she thought
possible. His dark eyes and gentle smile consumed her thoughts—and
dreams. But she had no way to see him unless he came to Buell Creek.
Pursuing him was out of the question.

Maybe he had no real interest in her. Maybe she’d
imagined the warmth in his eyes when he looked at her. Even if he
was
interested, it wouldn’t be prudent to open herself up to a
relationship. Julia let out a sad little sigh, dismissing the notion
that anything real could ever develop between them. She needed to
focus on what she excelled at, not on racking up yet another failure.

What’s he doing right now? Does he ever think about
me?
Maybe he lost interest because he thinks I’m a cold
fish
. She bit her lip, hoping he wasn’t like all the rest. Once
they got past her appearance, men always lost interest in her. She
maintained strict moral standards—something that didn’t precisely
set male hearts aflutter. Julia assumed Marc agreed with her in the
matter of morals, but maybe she’d gone overboard in her coolness.
What does it matter? I’m practically too old for him.

Despite Sara’s belief otherwise, it mattered—at
least in terms of the ability to produce children—an ability that
decreased with age. Many of her friends from the firm who’d married
in their thirties had gone on to have problems conceiving. Julia
doubted she’d be any different. Marc had '
family
man'
written all over him. What he needed was a young nubile
female with fertility galore. Not some aging widow plagued with a
myriad of minor health problems.
I’m too old. I don't want
marriage. I don’t want a relationship
without
marriage. Marc
doesn’t want me anyway. And I’m too old.

Julia fluttered the pages of her Bible, annoyed by her
ambivalence.
Singleness is a good thing. It means autonomy,
freedom, and potential.
So what if she cried during a mushy
television commercial or a long stormy night?

She swallowed back an unexpected thickness in her
throat. It was ironic that in an age of feminism, she’d become a
career woman by necessity, realizing her dreams of being a wife and
mother grew more hopeless with each passing year. She reminded
herself that discontentment equaled believing God didn’t know what
was best for her. There were no guarantees that the life of a
Christian would be chronic bliss. She strove to focus on making every
attempt at living a godly life, meeting her personal goals and
expectations. Besides, her work allowed her to enjoy a comfortable
standard of living, so she had no room for complaint.

Julia turned her attention back to the pastor, and was
dismayed when she realized he had just dismissed the congregation.

Chapter Thirteen

The next morning, Julia came in the back door of the main house,
plans swirling in her mind for the day ahead. She found Sara slowly
peeling carrots over the sink and staring out the window, her brows
furrowed. Julia noticed the kitchen gleamed spotlessly, attesting to
the fact the cleaning service Brian hired had already been through
the place.

“Good morning!”

“Um, hi.”

Julia wondered at her absent reply. Spying a package of frozen
chicken on the counter, she decided to make herself useful. She
unwrapped the package and arranged the pieces on a platter to speed
the thawing process. After several more minutes of quiet, she looked
at sister-in-law, wondering why she wasn’t her usual chatty self.

“Sara, are you okay?”

“Uh, probably.”

“Probably?” Julia now noticed her watching the clock on the wall.

Sara didn’t appear to hear the question. She continued to peel her
carrot in a haphazard manner. After a few moments, her hands hung
motionless in mid-air and her breathing altered.

Setting down the peeler, she turned to Julia with a glazed look in
her eyes. “That was a big one.”

“A big what?”

“I’m not sure.”

Julia washed her hands and looked up at Sara, who stood a good seven
inches taller. “I’m missing something here. What aren’t you
sure about?”

Sara stared at the clock. “I don’t know if these are real
contractions or just those Braxton-Hick thingies.”

“C-contractions?” she sputtered. “Are you in
labor?
”

Sara sighed. “That’s what I’m trying to figure out.”

Julia wracked her brain for the facts she’d read in Sara’s
pregnancy book. “Uh, are they regular? How long have you been
having them?”

“About five minutes apart and since around six this morning.”

Julia gasped. “Have you called Brian yet?”

She shook her head. “What if it’s not the real thing? I’d feel
pretty silly.”

“You’d feel even sillier having your baby in the kitchen!” She
grabbed the phone and dialed Brian’s cell number. When she heard
his voice, she said, “Your wife’s in labor. I suggest you get
home.” Without waiting for a response, she disconnected the call.
Her mind raced until she noticed her own breathing becoming
irregular.

Sara looked at her with concern. “Relax and have a seat, Julia.
They say first labors are notoriously long and drawn out.”

Amazed at Sara’s calmness, Julia began to pace around the room. “Is
your bag packed?”

She nodded.

“Are you pre-registered at the hospital?”

“Yes.”

“Do you have enough gas in your car to get to the hospital?”

“I have no idea,” Sara said with asperity.

“Oh, where’s Brian?” Julia exclaimed. At that moment, there was
a knock on the front door. “It’s about time!”

She hurried to the door and swung it open.
Marc!
She stared at him, both overwhelmed by his presence and the fact that
she’d missed him
desperately
. “You’re not Brian.”

“
Not the last time I looked,” said Marc, entering
the house. “Is there a problem?”

“
Sara is having the baby.”

“
Right now
?”

Julia took a deep breath. “No, not right now, at least
she can’t until Brian gets here. Where could he be?” She led him
into the kitchen. He greeted Sara and asked if there was anything he
could do.

Smiling, she shook her head. “I’m fine.”

“
At least come and sit down,” Julia hustled her into
the sitting room and brought over a footstool for her feet. “Can I
get you anything else?” Sara closed her eyes and leaned her head
against the back of the couch. Marc urged Julia out of the room.

“
Let her rest. She needs to conserve her energy,” he
said, keeping his voice low.

“
I know that!”

Twenty minutes later, Brian walked through the back
door. “Where’s my wife?”

“
In your room.”

“
I appreciate the mild way you broke the news to me,
Julia.”

“
Sorry, I was a bit overwrought,” she said,
irritated with her erratic behavior.

Marc led her into the living room and gently pushed her
down onto the couch. He settled next to her, fixing her with a
bemused smile.

“
What’s taking them so long?” she said. “They
should be on their way to the hospital by now.”

“
Don’t worry.”

Julia pinned him with a look. “Easy for
you
to
say.”

Finally, Brian came into the living room. “We’ve
spoken to the doctor and she said to come on in. Julia, I would
appreciate it if you could make some phone calls for me. And Marc,
could you please close up the house?”

“
Of course. Anything else?”

A nervous grin creased Brian’s features. “I wouldn’t
mind your prayers.”

“
You got it.”

After leaving directions for Marc to close up the B &
B to new visitors, the expectant couple left. The house suddenly
seemed deserted. Julia started to rise from the couch, but Marc took
hold of her hand. His grip was warm and firm.

“
First, let’s pray.” He bowed his head and offered
up a tender prayer of supplication for Sara and her baby’s safe
delivery. Julia’s eyes were moist when he said
amen
and
released her hand.

Marc left to put up the
No Vacancy
sign and made
sure the house was secure while Julia made phone calls from a
pre-written list. With that complete, she went into the kitchen to
finish preparing the dinner Sara had started. She would put it in the
freezer for them to eat later. Marc soon joined her, and together,
they worked in silence. Julia, too tense for conversation, was
thankful she had something to do to keep her hands busy. She
suspected she’d be wringing them without a task.

An hour later, a casserole sat cooling on the counter.
Julia bit her lip with worry now that she had nothing else to do.
“How do you think Sara is doing?”

“
Give the hospital a call and find out.”

Julia made the call, willing herself to calm down. After
she got off the phone, she twisted her hands together.

“
They said Sara’s still in early labor, but I’m
going over to the hospital. I’ll go stir-crazy waiting around
here.” She looked at Marc properly for the first time since he’d
arrived. “Oh, were you planning on staying here tonight?”

“
Yes, I had planned to go up to the mountains in the
morning, but if you don’t mind, I’ll go with you to the
hospital.” He crooked a smile at her. “You need someone to keep
you down to earth.”

Julia resisted a sudden urge to cry. “
Very
funny.”

***

The waiting area in the maternity department was empty
when they arrived. Julia paced back and forth while Marc flipped
through a dog-eared magazine. She didn’t know if she was more
worried about Sara or about her confusion concerning Marc.

“
Sit down, Julia. You’ll wear yourself out, and it’s
likely to be a long night.”

“
I’m fine.”

“
Maybe so, but you’re creating a wind with all that
moving around.”

“
I can’t help it. I’m so…
nervous
.”

“
Childbirth is a natural process and Sara has access
to excellent medical care, so don’t worry.”

She shot him an impatient look. “Spoken like a man.”

Marc shrugged and returned his attention to the
magazine. Julia became annoyed by his nonchalant attitude.
Natural
process, indeed!
“How easy it is for you to sit there relaxing,
when you’re not the one in pain.”

“
You’re not either,” he said with maddening
reason.

Julia crossed her arms and resumed pacing.

Marc tossed the magazine onto an end table. “Julia,
come here.”

Glancing over at him, she saw him patting the cushion of
the couch. Holding her breath, she walked over and sank onto the
couch next to him. He stretched out his arm behind her and drew her
against his side.

“
Lean on me and try to relax.”

At first Julia sat stiffly, but soon the feelings
awakened by his nearness had her melting into his side. Anxiety over
Sara was replaced with treacherous, languorous sensations coursing
through her body from the warmth and firmness of his frame.

Julia wondered which was worse; stressing over her
sister-in-law or dealing with the heart-rending realization she was
falling hard for the man next to her. She closed her eyes and
released a shaky breath. Marc’s arm tightened around her.
I
could really get used to this
.

***

An hour later, Hattie and her husband Robert entered the
waiting area.

“
Any news?” asked Hattie as she sat down in a chair
opposite Julia.

“
Not yet,” said Julia, suddenly wondering what
Hattie thought about the way she was glued to Marc’s side. But
Hattie seemed as worried as Julia had been earlier. She wandered
around the
room for a while before her husband coaxed her back
to her chair. After a few minutes of hand wringing, she pulled out a
crochet needle and some pastel yarn.

“I’ve already made one baby blanket, but I might as well start
another,” she said with a nervous laugh.

Julia attempted an understanding smile while her mind was somewhere
else. Marc’s fingers traced lazy circles on her arm, wiping away
any coherent thoughts.

Robert went on a coffee run. They made light conversation as each
sipped, as if it would make time pass more quickly. Then he went to
buy sandwiches as dinner time came and went. The hours stretched and
slowed until she felt her lids growing heavy.

Brian suddenly walked into the room. Julia sat up. Marc grabbed her
hand.

“It’s a boy!” he said, bedraggled and harried, but beaming.

After a flurry of congratulations, they had to wait another hour
before they were allowed to see the baby. At long last, with Marc
still holding onto her hand, she followed Robert and Hattie to Sara’s
room.

Sara sat up in bed, looking both radiant and exhausted at the same
time. In her arms she held a little bundle wrapped tightly in a
blanket. Brian introduced their new son. “Alan Jared Farris.”

After they all washed their hands, Julia stepped back to allow Hattie
and Robert a chance to hold the baby first. Hattie accepted the baby
from Sara’s arms. Tears ran down her cheeks as she cooed and
cuddled him.