Light of Kaska (29 page)

"We’d have to wait at least a week to see if it’ll take, but the scanner can tell if I’ve got a fertilized egg." She fidgeted with the glass for a moment, sending him quick looks out of the corner of her eye. "You’re not happy about the idea."

"I’m not—" he broke off, running a hand through his dark hair with a shrug of agitation. "You
want
a baby?"

She stared at him for a moment, wondering if he was kidding. When she saw that he was serious, she made a low sound in her throat and clasped his face in her hands. "Chase, a child is a blessing, a gift. I would love a child, any child, but to have your baby…" her voice whispered away, blocked by a tightening in her throat. She finished that sentence the only way she could, pressing her lips to his with gentle yearning and sweet seduction.

Gentle and sweet lasted about three seconds. Then Chase yanked her onto his lap, cradled the back of her head in his big hand, and deepened the kiss to the blazing point. Passion roared to life like a wildfire. Keza felt both body and brain melt and shimmer like gold.

She didn’t hear the laughter, whistles, or the applause, aware only of Chase lifting his mouth from hers. She made a low sound of protest then noticed the lines of amusement at the corners of his eyes.

"You’re gonna be mad at me again," he murmured.

She started to ask why before she finally registered the catcalls and Rogue’s shout for an encore. Slapping a hand over her eyes, she groaned, feeling her face flame. Then, to her own surprise, she laughed. Still laughing, she wiggled off Chase’s lap, stood on the bench, and took a theatrical bow. There was a roar of approval and thunderous applause, though half of the courtyard was empty. Her family could make the most noise of any group of people in the universe. Blowing them a kiss and a grin, she jumped down and tugged at Chase to follow her.

When they were out of sight, Chase pressed her up against a pillar and kissed her with a kind of wild, edgy hunger that took her by surprise. Then he stepped back and tugged her into a walk again.

"Wh-what was that for?" she asked, trying to catch her breath and walk in a straight line.

"For that damned laugh," he growled. "There better be a bed wherever the hell we’re going, or you might just find yourself pinned to a wall."

Her heart leapt into a sprint and she felt a quiver run down her spine at the dangerous heat in his voice. It was endlessly amazing to her that he could want her at all. It was impossible to believe that she could make him want her with just a laugh or a touch. This strong, fearless, beautiful man shouldn’t even notice meek, ordinary little Keza.
Thank the Goddess again and just enjoy, Sukeza bet Marish,
she admonished herself. "Pinned to a wall," she said in a musing tone. "Sounds…strenuous."

He snorted and flicked an amused glance down at her. "Still sore, Sunshine?"

"There could be permanent damage. Not that I notice when you kiss me."

He slipped an arm around her with a purring sound. "Kiss you where?"

An image of his dark head between her thighs made her stumble and he chuckled, catching her before she face-planted on the cobbled walkway. Trying to breathe normally, she leaned into him and sighed, "Anywhere you want."

Instead of kissing her, he looked at the little building in front of them, a crease forming between his brows. "Is this the clinic?"

"Yes," she answered, moving toward the front entrance. "We’ve got a full staff for emergencies, but for most of the usual stuff we just use the auto-scanner. This way," she added when he hesitated.

He followed her into the building with a grim expression. Keza tried not to notice the look on his face or think about what that look meant. She failed on both counts. This check for pregnancy was a reminder of his candidacy, a reminder of the conditions of his imprisonment. She wondered how much he resented her for it, never mind his earlier apology. He was wild and she’d caged him—he had to be bitter about that.

Stepping down a short hallway, she opened a door and entered the scanning room without seeing if he would follow. Sensing her arrival, the auto-scanners powered up and hummed to life. Ignoring the enclosed, horizontal scanner, she stepped onto a little lighted platform.

"Full scan?" a mechanical voice queried.

"Yes."

Lights flickered at the corners of her vision and her flesh tingled in a spiraling sensation down to her toes while the system scanned her for any physical anomalies. She felt it hesitate at her lower abdomen and she bit her lip, butterflies taking up residence in her stomach at the thought of what could be growing inside her.

When the scan was finished, she went to the display to read the results. Lactic acid buildup in her muscles. Fluid and electrolyte balance off a bit. Scattered light bruises from love-bites, some minor tissue abrasion and swelling in her most tender parts. And a fertilized zygote floating down her left fallopian tube.

Excitement and joy zinged through her nervous system, catching at her breath. She wanted to dance and sing. She wanted to giggle like a girl. She wanted to fling herself on Chase and thank him and her Goddess in a very basic way for this gift. She did none of those things, reminding herself that it was too early to guarantee the pregnancy. The little critter had a long way to go yet.

"Any permanent damage?"

Keza turned to see Chase leaning on the wall by the door, arms folded over his chest while he watched her with an inscrutable expression. A lump wedged itself in her throat, making it impossible to reply. Instead, heart pounding and stomach tightening with nerves, she stepped back and waved a hand for him to see for himself.

A muscle twitched in his jaw, but he gave no other indication of tension. Moving with the smooth, prowling stride that never failed to loosen her muscles, he approached the display and read the results. The hardening of his expression and the shimmer of tension in his form punched the breath she was holding out of her chest. A wave of disappointment made her feel weak and gray.

"You said muscle sore," Chase muttered in an ominous tone, attention still fixed on the display. "You never said anything about bruising, swelling, and raw spots."

Consumed as her mind was with her tiny, fragile passenger, it took Keza a moment to figure out what he was talking about. Then she felt her face flush with embarrassment. "Yes, well, I haven’t had many…I’m just not used to—ah…" Taking a quick, deep breath, she let it out in a gust. "Never mind that—it’ll get better. You see that it says I’ve conceived?"

He nodded slowly then turned to look at her with such a darkly brooding expression that she felt her insides shrivel. After a moment’s scrutiny, he stepped over to the dispense receptacle, gathering the remedies for her various ailments. Keza felt her face grow hotter to see topical cream among the items. She snatched the medicine from him without looking him in the face and headed for the exit.

Under her embarrassment was a bitter disappointment that he had nothing to say about the spark of life heading for her womb. Aside from the fact that she’d just confirmed his candidacy, which freed him to live however he wished on Kaska, she’d been hoping for some interest in what they’d created together. She hadn’t expected overwhelming joy, but the stony rejection in the hard angles of his face tore holes through her insides.

He followed her out of the clinic without a word, drawing alongside her as she headed for the main house. In sharp contrast to their walk to the clinic, he kept a cool distance between them that she felt like shards of ice through her heart.

"My mother will want to know," she said abruptly, blinking the sting from her eyes. "You don’t have to come with if you don’t want to."

He hesitated then said something vicious under his breath, before catching her arm in a gentle grip and bringing her to a halt. She looked up at his shadowed face in the deepening gloom of night, wishing for things she couldn’t voice.

"Sunshine," he said with a low, rough intimacy that nearly shattered her into pieces. "Be with your family. Get some rest. I’ll see you later." He lowered his head, lips brushing hers and lingering for a long, sweet moment. Then he moved away, silent and swift. A moment later, he’d blended into the night and disappeared.

Keza took a shaky breath, blinking fiercely to force back the threat of tears. How many times was she going to have to watch him walk away from her? How many goodbyes could she survive? She ground her teeth and her complicated sorrow yielded to a flash of hot anger. Why did she have to endure it at all? She understood why he would need his freedom, but damn it, this back and forth thing was driving her crazy.
Either go for good this time, Chase Stryker, she thought to the darkness, or next time I’m chaining you to my damn bed.

Spinning on her heel, she stalked back to the courtyard, seeking her mother grimly. Myelle looked up from the toddler she was bouncing on her knee, lips thinning and eyes tightening at the look on Keza’s face. "No?" her mother asked softly.

"Yes, actually," Keza answered, dredging up a smile. Chase could go to hell for the moment—she was still going to celebrate the miracle of creation and the tiny life growing inside her.

Myelle’s face softened, a light glowing strong and sure in her eyes. A smile curled her mouth, but her words were cautionary for them both. "That’s wonderful news, baby, but remember it’s not a done deal yet."

"I know," she acknowledged the caution then let her own joy bloom inside and brighten her smile. She sat down next to her mother and sank into her embrace, feeling love tighten around her with a new strength and dimension.

"Meesa!" the toddler protested, smacking them both with her little hands.

Keza grinned at her niece, marveling anew at the perfect, soft beauty of Nade’s face and Harle’s eyes staring up at her. As one, she and Myelle curled their arms around the little girl and drew her into the hug. With a contented burble, Shaneese snuggled into them, and Keza felt tears sting again. But these tears felt good. Her life was righting itself like a lost ship after a storm, sails billowing and finding the way home.
Thank you, Goddess.

"Damn, you women are so sappy," she heard her brother declare with heavy disgust.

Without looking, she sent Rogue a rude gesture then grinned at his low laughter. But her brother had done his job and busted the mood, so she released her mother, sharing a tolerant look with Myelle. Her niece remained snuggled against her grandmother, silver-blue eyes glazing with a toddler’s contented weariness as she stared up at Keza. Shaneese mumbled something incomprehensible in her little girl’s voice and Keza nodded in solemn agreement. "That’s right, sweetie. Uncle Rogue is a poopie-head."

"Cute," her brother drawled, flicking a finger at her ear as he sat on the edge of the table. She stuck her tongue out at him then narrowed her gaze at the mischievous sparkle in his eyes. Rogue was most dangerous when he had that look. "So," he began in a sly tone, "when are you stepping down, Mom?"

Keza felt the blood drain from her face. She had totally forgotten that part of the process. Or maybe she’d deliberately blocked it. Now that she’d proven herself Goddess-touched by conceiving, she was fully confirmed as First
Materi
and could take her place as Mater of the Marish House, if Myelle chose to step down. Her stomach heaved in terrified protest.

Rogue, the beast, roared with laughter at the look on her face.

Myelle rolled her eyes and took it a bit more seriously. "Relax, dear. I’m not ready to retire just yet. Besides, as I just said, successful fertilization doesn’t mean you’ll carry to term."

"As the Goddess wills," Keza and Rogue said together in automatic response.

Myelle tilted her head, looking from her son to her daughter with a wry smile. "Just so. Still, I think we can celebrate a little. Is the father going to join us?" She aimed the last sentence at Keza with a layer of acid attached.

A shaft of pain sliced Keza right through, followed by a healthy dose of anger. She pressed her lips together for a moment before answering, "Don’t count on it."

Rogue sighed heavily. "Not again." He shifted as though preparing to get down from the table, but Keza restrained him with a hand on his arm.

"Leave him be. I’ll deal with him later. Right now, I want to give the Goddess the thanks she deserves."

He grimaced, a dark look shooting through his mahogany eyes before his usual lopsided humor crept back in. "You’ll deal with him later? You can barely walk, sister. I thought I was the only one in the family who could go all night—" He dodged her swing with a chortle of laughter.

"Shut up about that, brother. I’ll sick Harle on you if you don’t behave."

Rogue made a rude noise. "As if you could pry him away from his new buddy."

Keza drew back and stared at him with wide eyes. "Are you pouting?"

Myelle snickered, much to her son’s disgust. He gave them both a sour look. "I just think it’s weird that our head of security is following our resident con around like a pup. Or is he under orders?" Rogue lifted his eyebrows at his mother.

Myelle shook her head. "I just told Harle to watch for any misbehavior, not to shadow his every step. Harle seems to have found something in the man that resonates with him. Maybe their history is more of a common ground than we thought."

Rogue frowned. "That guy’s gonna be a bad influence on our boy."

"Actually…" Myelle’s expression turned thoughtful. "I believe Harle is having a good influence on Chase."

Keza stared at her mother, aware of her brother doing the same. "When did this happen?" she asked in a tight voice, meaning her mother’s surprising change of heart toward her controversial candidate.

Myelle studied her with fathomless amber eyes. "I’ve seen changes in him," she said in an evasive tone.

Keza narrowed her eyes, suddenly remembering a comment her mother had made at the temple. "Mom? What do the selkies have to do with you bringing Chase to the Goddess’s garden?"

Myelle’s gaze shifted away and Keza knew she was onto something.

"What happened?"