Liars All (24 page)

Read Liars All Online

Authors: Jo Bannister

BOOK: Liars All
11.23Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
Brodie managed a broken smile. ‘It's true, Jack. He deserves much better than me. And I think now he has a chance of something better. But I didn't think he'd take it unless I pushed him away.'
‘Jane,' realised Deacon, the surprise in his eyes like a sunrise. ‘You think… Daniel and Jane…?
Daniel?
And Jane?'
She shrugged helplessly. ‘Who knows? But it's a chance. The way he talks about her – the things he's done for her
– there's something there. I don't know if he knows it yet. I don't know if she feels the same way. But sometimes you just have to see half a chance of happiness and jump at it. And you can't do that if someone's holding you back.'
Deacon said softly, ‘It wasn't your fault. That friendship – even the kind of friendship you and Daniel had – wasn't enough for him.'
‘I could have tried harder,' she said sadly.
‘You mean, you could have lied. You know better than that, Brodie. You know that would have broken his heart faster and surer than anything else you could have done.'
Knowing he was right didn't help much. The last few years had been the most extraordinary time of her life. She'd got a business, a lover and a child out of them, and though she couldn't be sure what the future held for any of them, at heart she felt a certain cautious optimism.
And then there was Daniel. Knowing him had been key to her growth from an embittered, embattled ex-wife to the woman she was today. It was a journey she couldn't have made without him. Her only regret was the nagging worry that he'd been a much more positive influence on her life than she had been on his.
‘The worst of it is,' she admitted, ‘I do love him. Still. I always will. Just, not in a way that's any good for him.'
If she'd been telling him something he didn't know, Deacon might have objected. ‘You did what you had to do. What you honestly felt was best for all concerned. I think you were probably right. I'll tell you something else. When the dust's settled and Daniel thinks about what's
happened, he'll know exactly what you did and why you did it. He'll forgive you.'
‘Even lying to him? I told him I didn't care if I hurt him!'
Deacon shrugged. ‘Love makes liars of us all. You had to do the best you could for Jonathan. You wanted the best for Daniel. You found a way of reconciling what should have been impossible opposites. I'm pretty sure Daniel's going to understand that.'
Her eyes were mournful. ‘I doubt if I'll ever know. I don't think I'll see him again. I think that was part of the payment. Like giving up chocolate for Lent.'
One of Deacon's eyebrows rocketed. ‘You think Daniel's gone for good? That the angry words of a desperate woman were enough to make him want to put the last four years behind him?' He passed a weary hand in front of his eyes. ‘Brodie, sometimes I think that – in spite of everything – you hardly know him at all. Maybe he and Jane will get something together. I hope they do. But if they do, or if they look like they're going to, the first one he's going to want to tell is you. If they don't, the shoulder he'll want to cry on is yours. Even if they faff around for the next six months wondering if they will or not, he's going to want to know how Jonathan's doing. You're not rid of Daniel yet. I promise you.'
He went into the bedroom to check on the baby.
Brodie so wanted to believe him. It just seemed too much like having your cake and eating it – winning this precious chance for Jonathan, and getting a refund on the only thing she'd possessed that was valuable enough to pay for it.
After a minute it struck her that Deacon hadn't come back. Her stomach knotted hard, her weary legs launching her towards the bedroom. ‘Jack…?'
Jonathan was asleep, cradled against his father's chest. Deacon was looking at the twin beds. ‘I suppose what I'm wondering,' he said without much preamble, ‘is, do we push them together or leave them where they are?'
For a moment Brodie had thought something terrible had happened. That you can't have your cake and eat it, and you shouldn't even try. But she'd been wrong. She slumped on the nearest bed as all the strength went out of her. ‘Oh Jack…'
Predictably, he misunderstood. If she'd been watching she'd have seen a faint flush creep up his stubbly cheek, but he feigned unconcern. ‘Fair enough. You're probably right. Too much water under the bridge.'
She'd managed to hurt him again. Inadvertently, but that didn't make the hurt any less. She reached out a long-fingered hand, resting it on his arm where Jonathan's head lay sleeping. ‘Sorry. I thought…'
She nodded at the baby, and Deacon's eyes flared with understanding. She was jumping at shadows, but that wasn't her fault. Not with all she'd been through, all that lay ahead. He was going to have to be gentle with her. He could do that. It was what he wanted, what he'd always wanted. He still didn't know if it was what she wanted.
‘Or,' he said carefully, essaying a compromise, ‘we could leave them where they are for the moment.'
She looked at him, holding their baby, and it was like seeing him for the first time. There was a lot that was
wrong with him as a partner. But then, there was a lot wrong with her too. She'd let him down, not the other way round. She'd never expected him to forgive her that, but she knew now that he had. She didn't know what the future held for any of them. But perhaps you didn't need to know. You had to jump. To make a leap of faith.
‘Water under the bridge?' she said impatiently. ‘That's what bridges are
for
! Jack, I don't know how far we can go with this. We've made mistakes, God knows we've made mistakes, but we've survived them. We're neither of us lovesick teenagers – we've been around the block a few times, each on our own and both together. We know not to expect too much – of one another, of other people, of life. And knowing that gives us a better chance of surviving the new mistakes we'll make.
‘I don't know if we can grow old together, Jack, or if we'll break one another's hearts and bones trying. But I do know everything worth having is worth fighting for. Give me the baby.' She put him back in his cot. ‘You take the headboard, I'll take the footboard. Now…
shove…!
'
Closer Still
Flawed
Requiem for a Dealer
Breaking Faith
The Depths of Solitude
Reflections
True Witness
Echoes of Lies
This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously.
LIARS ALL. Copyright © 2009 by Jo Bannister. All rights reserved. For information, address St. Martin's Press, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10010.
First published in Great Britain by Allison & Busby Limited
eISBN 9781429934558
First eBook Edition : February 2011
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Bannister, Jo.
Liars all / Jo Bannister.—1st U.S. ed.
p. cm.
ISBN 978-0-312-61239-9
1. Farrell, Brodie (Fictitious character)—Fiction. 2. Women private investigators—Fiction. 3. Mugging—Fiction. 4. Murder—Investigation—Fiction. 5. Mugging victims—Fiction. 6. Jewelry theft—Fiction. 7. Guilt—Fiction. 8. Detective and mystery stories. I. Title.
PR6052.A497L53 2010
823'.914—dc22
2009041525
First U.S. Edition: April 2010

Other books

Naked by Francine Pascal
Shocked and Shattered by Aleya Michelle
The Nick Klaus's Fables by Frederic Colier
Views from the Tower by Grey, Jessica
To Catch a Pirate by Jade Parker
Welcome to My Jungle by Duswalt, Craig