Letting Go (23 page)

18

“What do you mean he’s not talking to you?” Carly demanded.

“
After we dropped you and Nolan off, he dropped me off and he didn’t come inside. I tried to tell him we needed to talk. He said he needed some time to himself. I think really, that’s the last thing he needs.” Quinn blew out a breath and shifted her phone to her other ear. “Carly, he was really upset. I know there are aspects of our relationship that have bothered him all along. Between Mom and Tabby and Betsy, I think it was just too much. Did you see his face?”

“Yeah,” Carly said quietly, “I did.
The things those two said were just plain cruel. From the way Nolan described it, Mom was pretty awful to him as well. You can bet I really let Mom have it this morning.”

“I’m sorry,” Quinn said. “I did not mean for Nolan to be pulled into our family drama.”

“It’s okay,” Carly assured her. “Besides, he left already. I told him I was staying through the week. Luke
did
offer me a ride back, so Nolan decided to head out early. It’s just as well. I have a feeling you need me a lot more than he does right now.”

Quinn fought the urge to cry
and lost. A sob slipped out as she said, “I can’t lose him. Carly, I just can’t lose him too.”

“You won’t. He loves you. Last night didn’t change that.”

“It might have,” Quinn said. Her voice was shaking. “He told me I should take some time to think things over. He wanted me to decide if our relationship is really worth it. I told him last night that it was. He didn’t want to hear it right then.” She paused, trying to gather some courage. Finally, she asked Carly the question she feared the answer to. “Do you think he was asking because
he
doesn’t think it’s worth it anymore?”

“No.” Her response was immediate. “Luke has loved you for years. He might be confused right now. Or hurt or worried about you. But there’s one thing I know for sure, he hasn’t stopped loving you. I don’t think he could stop loving you if he tried. In fact, we both know he did try. And he just couldn’t do it.”

Another gush of tears slid down Quinn’s cheeks. “Then why isn’t he answering the phone when I call? I even tried calling the house phone and I tried his mom’s. He wasn’t there either. He obviously doesn’t want to talk to me.”

“Quinn! Just a few weeks ago, you were talking marriage! That doesn’t change because of one bad night!”

“It wasn’t just one bad night. This has been an ongoing thing. Maybe he just reached his breaking point.”

Carly heaved out a sigh. “Did you two ever go ring shopping? I assume you haven’t because you didn’t mention it.”

“No. Things kept coming up.”

“You mean
me
,” Carly noted. “I accidentally took over the last few weekends. I’m sorry about that. If I hadn’t you’d probably have a ring on your finger by now.”

“Or things would be an even bigger mess, even more complicated.”

“Please don’t talk like that. It hasn’t even been twenty-four hours.”

Quinn clamped her teeth down on her bottom lip. She could argue with Carly all afternoon.
She knew the effort would be wasted. Carly would simply continue to try to reassure her. But Carly hadn’t seen the way Luke had looked at her when he had walked her to the door. Or felt the delicate way he had kissed her cheek before turning to leave. It was as if he was afraid to do much more. Or maybe it was as though he suddenly felt he had no right to do much more. She had nearly begged him to come inside. He simply shook his head, telling her it wasn’t a good idea.

Spending time together wasn’t a good idea? No matter how she looked at that, she couldn’t put a positive spin on his words. It had taken everything in her to not burst into tears right then and there.
Nothing good would come from spending time apart. She knew that, felt it, down to the very depths of her soul.

What they needed was each other.

Now, her heart felt like it was shattering all over again. There had been one other time in her life when Luke had refused to talk to her. But it had been nothing like this. The anguished look on his face had haunted her in her sleep. What little sleep she was able to get had been marred by unpleasant dreams.

She was exhausted and emotional.
And she was more afraid than she wanted to admit. If Luke walked away from her now, she wasn’t sure her heart could take it. But more than that, she was worried about him. Worried that he was in a terrible frame of mind and the fact that she couldn’t get a hold of him was bringing her even more stress.

“Did you try Jesse’s cell phone?
He probably knows where Luke is,” Carly suggested.

Quinn sniffled
and scrubbed at her face again. She tried to pull herself out of her morose thoughts. “I don’t have his number. But it probably doesn’t even matter. I’ve left messages. He knows I’ve been calling. I practically begged him to call me back and he hasn’t.”

“Maybe he hasn’t listened to the messages yet.”

Quinn reached for a tissue, not bothering to argue. Whether he heard her message or not, shouldn’t he be calling her anyway? A horrible thought struck her. “Do you think we broke up?”

“What? No! Why would you say that?”

“Because when he said he thought we needed some space, I just thought he meant last night. Maybe he meant indefinitely. Permanently,” she clarified.

“Absolutely not,” Carly said.

Quinn tried to clear her head by taking a few deep breaths.

“Please
don’t cry,” Carly coaxed. “Everything will be fine. I promise.”

“You don’t know that,” Quinn said as her voice cracked.  She blinked back more tears. “Can you come over?”

Carly was quiet for a few moments. “Maybe later,” she said softly. “I’ve got something I need to do right now.”

“Oh, right,” Quinn sighed. “I forgot. You and Mom were going to start wedding planning.”

“No, I’ve got something way more important than that to take care of. You hang in there, Quinn. Give Carter a kiss from me. I’ll talk to you soon.”

She disconnected and Quinn sat there, on the edge of her bed, wondering what her sister was up to now.

~*~*~

When Luke opened the door to his grandparent’s cabin, Carly shoved his chest. Hard. He stumbled backward.

“What the hell!” he
grumbled.

“That’s my line!” Carly shot out. She pushed her way inside, closing the door behind her.

“What are you doing here?” he demanded.

“I called Jesse. He told me he thought you came up here
last night. He gave me directions so here I am.” She walked past him, making her way into the living room. She tossed herself down on the couch. He hesitantly followed. “Sit down.” She pointed to the chair opposite from where she was sitting.

He favored her with an annoyed glance but did as requested.

“Why aren’t you answering Quinn’s calls?”

“I’ve had my phone off. I didn’t realize she’s been calling,” he said.

He leaned back in the chair as he scraped a hand through his hair. Carly realized how utterly worn down, worn out and flat out dejected he looked. She’d been furious with him the whole drive. But now, her heart softened just a bit. She had to remind herself that while Quinn had been through a hell of a lot, so had Luke.

“Of course she’s been calling. She’s worried sick about you.”

“Why? She shouldn’t be. I told her I was going to give her some space.”

“That’s the last thing she wants.”

Luke had been gazing off, across the room. He finally sighed and pulled his gaze back to Carly. “Maybe she should rethink that.”

“Excuse me?!”

“I just think it might be easier for Quinn if she’s with someone else,” Luke said. “At first, I thought I was the best thing for her. Now, I’m not so sure. She doesn’t need to be dragged down by gossip. She’s had a hard enough time. She shouldn’t have to deal with that. She shouldn’t have to deal with her mom being disgusted that we’re together. She shouldn’t have to worry about being insulted when we go out. Last night was the second time that has happened. And the thing is? We hardly ever go out!”

“Do you think she cares about that?”

He nodded slowly. “She would say she didn’t but yeah, I think she does. She should because I’m afraid in the end, this is going to wear on her.”

“Our mom,” Carly shook her head, “she has issues. I wish I could explain away why she says the thing she does. But I can’t. I guess sometimes, she’s just not a nice person and she just
doesn’t see it. As for Betsy and Tabby? Especially Tabby, Luke, she’s so obviously jealous! You two have a history. She knows you’ve been in love with Quinn forever. The whole time you and Tabby were together, you were completely in love with Quinn. Tabby knows that. She’s had it out for Quinn for years!”

“We’ve been broken up for two years now!” Luke said as he raised his voice for the first time. “If she hasn’t gotten over it now, is she ever going to? Is she going to go out of her way to make Quinn miserable every time she sees her? Margo said people are gossiping. I don’t want that for her! And if she’s with me, I don’t know how she’s ever going to get away from it!”

“So…What? You’re just going to walk away from Quinn?” Carly’s voice was full of disbelief. She had thought Quinn was overreacting. But her sister had been right. Luke was taking this harder than she had imagined.

He shook his head. “I just wan
t what’s best for her. I don’t know if that’s me.”

“
How could you be so damn selfish?” Carly cried. “She loves you and she trusts you! She gave you her heart and you’re prepared to shred it into tiny little pieces? You’re ready to throw it right back at her?! Hasn’t she been hurt enough?”

Luke shook his head wearily. “I don’t want to hurt her and you know it.
Maybe we just need to slow things down.”

“Luke. You kissed her when you were both fourteen. Then you waited ten years before you kissed her again. How much slower can you possibly take things?”

“I think it might be a good idea if we take a break for awhile. Just until the gossip dies down.”

“You have to realize that with someone like Tabby, the gossip is never going to just go away. If you back off, yeah, maybe the gossip will as well. But I’m sure that the minute you start things up again, she’ll start the gossip mill churning again. The best thing to do, as far as I’m concerned, is to just push your way through it.”

He leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees. He put his face in his hands. Carly realized he was barely holding himself together. When he raised his gaze to her again, he looked anguished.

“I don’t know if I can do that. Did you hear the things she said? She accused me of being glad Jake’s gone.
But I’m not. I miss him so much. I miss him every damn day. I would give up anything to have him back. To have him here, with Quinn, so that both of them would be happy. Betsy said I was disrespecting his memory. What if I am?”

“That was a heartless thing to say,” Carly said quietly. “But you have to realize that this isn’t just about you. This is about my sister.
And you’re going to let Tabitha dictate to you how you are going to live your life? What is going on with you and Quinn is between you and Quinn!” She hesitated. “And me,” she said firmly. “Because I’m on your side, both yours and Quinn’s.”

“She just shouldn’t have to deal with this. She’s been through too much already.”

“No,” Carly said. “What she shouldn’t have to deal with is you breaking her heart. You have always been someone she could count on. No matter what. She needs that from you. Don’t let Tabitha take it away from her!”

He remained silent and Carly pushed ahead.

“Let me ask you a ridiculous question. Do you love my sister?”

Luke glanced at her, surprised that she seemed to be waiting for an answer. “You know I do. I’ve never loved anyone like I love Quinn. That’s why this is so hard.”

“Exactly. Life is hard enough on a good day! Why make it any harder than it has to be? I was there for her when you dropped that emotional bomb on her,” Carly said. “I was there for her when you told her you’d loved her for years. It broke her heart to know she’d hurt you like that. She cried on my shoulder, Luke. I mean that literally. She felt so bad about hurting you.” Carly shook her head. “And I thought you would be the last person in the world to purposefully hurt her back.”

His eyes widened in surprise at Carly’s proclamation. “That’s not what I’m doing!”

She got up and smacked him across the chest. “That’s exactly what you’re doing. Luke, she is so in love with you. I know she’s told you that. But maybe you need to hear it from someone else to truly get it. She loves you so much. The fact that you’re not talking to her is killing her. Because she’s scared to death right now that you’re going to walk away. Is that what you want?”