Letting Go (5 page)

“Looks like it’s going to rock and roll out there,” she said.

The sound of hail took care of any answer he was going to give. Mack ran forward and threw her arms around Clarissa. “I don’t like after-care. I’m gonna stay with you from now on, ‘kay?”

Clarissa met his eyes, a new worry on her face. Thunder boomed, shaking the window panes of the diner and the weather alert radio sounded in the kitchen.

Pete came out of the back, wiping his hands on a towel he kept tucked in his apron.

“National weather service just issued a tornado warning,” he said, and Jed looked out the door, not all that surprised considering what the clouds had looked like. Grabbing Mack and Clarissa’s hands, he turned to Pete.

Pete shook his head. “No cellar, but the walk-in fridge should be safe. Go on, I’ll be there in a minute.”

Clarissa pulled her hand from his and pushed him away. “Take Mack and go. What do you need me to do, Pete?”

Pete cast a worried glance outside. “I’ll keep the doors open just in case someone needs shelter. You go on.”

Outside a strange calm settled, and Jed knew then they were in for real trouble. Grabbing Clarissa’s hand again he said, “Come on, show us where the walk-in is.”

Indecision played across her face for a second, but finally, taking her hand from his again, she led them to the fridge, opened the door and followed them in.

A few seconds later, Pete was there, sweaters and the battery operated weather radio with him.

He settled a sweater around Mack’s shoulders and handed the others to them.
 

Mack, shivering, pulled her sweater tight. “Thank you, Mr. Pete. Is this a real tornado like in the movies?”

Pete, no longer gruff, patted her on top of the head. “It sure is. But we should be safe.”

Mack snuggled deeper into Jed’s side. The walk-in freezer kept the sound of the storm out, but the constant warning alarm on the weather radio told them the danger was very real. Clarissa wrapped her arms around her stomach, shivering, and Jed didn’t ask, just pulled her in close to him and Mack.

When he did, Mack grabbed Clarissa’s hand, anchoring her to them, then turned to him. “Can we pray, Daddy? I’m scared.”

Clarissa’s hand trembled in his, proof of her fear and the chill from the fridge.

Pete scooted in closer to them and put the radio on the floor.
 

“That’s a good idea, Miss Mackenzie,” Pete said.

The knelt in a tight circle and held hands as Jed started the prayer. “Dear heavenly father, Lord, we know you’re in control, God. We ask you to keep us safe. We ask that you give us peace as…” he stopped as the weather radio alerted that a tornado spotter reported a tornado on the ground near Stearns.

“Father, we ask you to protect us,” he continued, wishing he felt the peace he prayed for. The adults gathered close, making sure Mackenzie was protected as much as she could be as the storm raged around them, and Jed was so thankful for Pete and Clarissa right then.
 

“Jesus, I love you,” Mack prayed. And then as the weather alarm rang, she started singing Yes, Jesus Loves me, and before long, all of them were singing right along with her. Clarissa’s soft almost whispered voice joining in last.

When the motor stopped on the walk-in, Clarissa knew they were in trouble. More than anything she wanted to protect Mackenzie.

“God, please, please, please.” She said the prayer silently, begging for everything and nothing, not even sure for what.

Pete’s strong bass started singing her grandmother’s favorite song then. A song about Jesus and His name. Clarissa wondered if it was a sign. She tried to sing along with him, but suddenly she was crying, and she couldn’t stop. She bit her lip trying to control the tears. God, she didn’t want to scare Mackenzie. Didn’t want to make this worse than it was.

They could hear the storm now that the power was out. It sounded horrible. Terrible and mighty and destructive.

Something crashed, and she jumped, and Jed brushed her shoulders told her it would be okay, and all along, Pete kept singing, and she wondered if anyone had ever told him he’d missed his calling. No way should he be running a diner. He should be on the radio.

Almost as suddenly as the storm started, it stopped.
 

The alarms they heard now were the ones outside the diner.

Pete stood first. “Hold up a sec, let me check,” he said and then he opened the door.

When the door opened, Clarissa knew something in her had fundamentally changed in those minutes in the walk-in fridge. She didn’t try to get up, just continued holding Mackenzie’s hand, thankful, so thankful they’d made it through whatever had happened outside.

Sirens sounded even louder outside, and smoke filled the air.

Pete waved them out, and Jed helped her to her feet, then grabbed Mackenzie, pulled her into his arms. When they left the shelter, they were met by approaching red flashing lights and destruction.

Water splashed over the kitchen floor. Clarissa didn’t know if it was from the sprinkler system or the rain coming in through the hole in the ceiling where the vent used to be.

Volunteer firefighters helped them through the kitchen and into the seating area because they said it was too dangerous to use the back door. Shattered glass littered the floor. The windows were gone. Strangely enough the salt and pepper shakers sat as if nothing had happened in the center of every table. But the napkin dispensers were all over the place.

Shock hit her as she looked around the diner. This was going to take more than a few hours to clean up. She and Bev…

“Bev. She’s at home with her kids. They…” She stopped. Didn’t say live in a trailer because Mackenzie was there and oh God, please, no.

Jed took her hand and kept her moving forward.
 

And then she was out the front door noticing the sunlight on the sidewalk in areas that didn’t make sense for this time of day, only they did. Because the apartment that used to be above the garage behind Pete’s was gone.

Chapter Four

Shell shocked. That was the look on Clarissa’s face when they stepped into the eerie sunlight. Jed couldn’t begin to imagine what she was feeling right now. Loss, fear, emptiness. He just knew he had to step in to try to make it better.
 

“You’re coming home with me and Mack,” he said.
 

“It’s all gone. Everything is gone.” Clarissa whispered the words. When she stepped forward, the volunteer fire chief held out a hand to stop her. “Sorry, Miss. Nothing’s safe right now. Tomorrow morning you’ll be able to start cleaning up. If you don’t have someplace to go, the church has set up a shelter.”

Jed cut him off. “She has someplace to go.” Then he put an arm on Clarissa’s shoulder. “Come on. We’ll come back tomorrow. You can search then.” Although, from what he remembered Clarissa didn’t have much.

Clarissa nodded as if in a daze, agreeing but not really aware of what she was agreeing to, then she stepped forward, wincing as glass from Pete’s big front windows, now shattered, crunched under her feet.
 

As if the sound shook something inside her, she turned back to what used to be. “Wait. I’ll just look...”

The fireman shook his head. “I’m sorry, ma’am. Let us make things safe first. Then you can search all you want.”
 

Jed didn’t know what Clarissa had lost, but he’d do anything in his power to find it for her.

“I’ll have you back first thing in the morning. Promise.”

She blew out a long breath, and met his eyes. Hers were empty now. As if she were refusing to let herself feel. He knew that look. Had lived it for months. Around them emergency sirens sounded from all directions. Lights on the vehicles flashed red and yellow and blue. He had to get Mack and Clarissa away from this. Get them to the Triple Eight.

Only his phone wasn’t working, and there were no guarantees that the ranch had survived this storm unscathed. Pain hit him at the thought, but he pushed it away. If nothing else, they had plenty of camping gear.

Mack put her little hand in Clarissa’s and stared around at the damaged square so much a part of her life.
 

“It’ll be okay, Clarissa. Daddy will make things better. You will, won’t you, Daddy?”

Her words pierced Jed’s heart. He met Clarissa’s eyes and saw that she knew the truth. He couldn’t make this better, and it killed him to realize Mack thought he could.

As if Mack’s assertion clarified the situation Clarissa snapped back to the present. She turned away from him and bent to pick Mack up. “You better not walk right now, sweetie. This glass is...” Clarissa stopped, surveyed the damage around them and finished with the one word that made sense. “Everywhere. The mess is everywhere.”

Pete followed them out of the diner, trying to shine a positive light on the disaster.
 

“Looks like most of the diner damage is superficial, we’ll be open again in no time.”

Around them others made their way out of broken buildings to survey the damage. Thankfully, Jed’s truck was relatively unscathed. Strange since shards of glass and splintered lumber were scattered everywhere in front of the diner. The only vehicles on the road were those serving as emergency services. It didn’t take long to understand why.

Power was out. The square was damaged, but it looked like the diner’s apartment was the worst of it for the town square area.

Lester Pyle drove up in his tow truck, stopping when he saw Jed.
 

“You coming?”

Dread hit Jed in the gut and he waited to hear more. Storms like these always meant tragedy.

“The elementary’s damaged some. Fifth and sixth grade wing gone. Power’s out since the lines are down. But west of here, it’s bad. We’re going to dig.”

He didn’t say more, but the look he sent Mack said enough. He didn’t want her to know the truth. They were going to dig for survivors.
 

“West of here?”

“Down at the trailer park and the neighborhood surrounding. Sure could use your hands.”

Bev lived at the trailer park.

Clarissa’s gasp said she understood.
 

A sense of responsibility for keeping Mack and Clarissa safe warred with the duty Jed had to Stearns and those who were missing.
 

Clarissa made the decision for him.

“You’ve got to go help, Jed. Mack and I will be safe at the church. Go on. Go find Bev.” Her voice broke as she said their friend’s name, and Jed knew she was right. This was Stearns. They took care of their own.

He leaned down and kissed Mack on the forehead, determined to try to protect her from the worst of this if at all possible.

Mack wrapped her hands around his neck, then took his face in her hands. “Jesus kept us safe, Daddy. He kept Bev safe, too.”

Clarissa didn’t meet his eyes this time, and he prayed Mack was right. Prayed Bev and her kids were okay. This was a lesson he didn’t want Mack learning so early. She’d learned enough in her short lifetime.

Jed wanted to say something meaningful to Clarissa. But her walls were back up, and even a hug seemed out of place. So he did the only thing he knew to do.

“Thank you,” he said. And then, as he started the truck, he said, “Be good Mack,” but this time he knew he didn’t have to worry.

Clarissa and Mackenzie joined Miss Topkins and the school secretary, Mrs. Anderson. The church now served as a shelter for people who’d lost homes.
 

As soon as they entered the building, Clarissa swallowed the pain at realizing she was one of those people. Keeping busy would work as emotional salvation for now.

From all over town people were bringing in food, water, blankets, sleeping bags, cots, jackets. Someone Clarissa didn’t know was grilling hotdogs. If not for the debris visible out the heavy wooden doors of the church, she’d think this was a celebration instead of a response to crisis.

When the twins from Mackenzie’s Sunday School class came in, one of them with a huge bandage on his head, Mackenzie ran to them. It wasn’t long before they were playing games with other children.
 

Clarissa, sure Jed’s daughter was safe for now, helped arrange areas for displaced families in the church gym. She handed out food and water. Prayed or at least listened to the prayer of a new wife whose husband had been on the road somewhere between Stearns and Shawnee where the powerful storm with what the weather service was calling multiple vortex tornadoes had torn through.

When a man with three children came in, she rocked his newborn baby, feeding it a bottle and listening as he and his older children retold their story of horror and thankfulness. His wife was in the Oklahoma City hospital now, but the emergency workers had brought him and his children to the shelter because the hospitals were too full for the uninjured. Someone volunteered to take care of his children, someone else volunteered to take the man to the hospital where his wife was once they knew where to go.

Home wasn’t an option. Home was gone.

Clarissa put her finger in the baby’s hand and smiled as the infant wrapped his tiny fingers around hers. The infant smiled at her and a sense of peace wrapped itself around Clarissa’s heart.

Home
.

So much loss and yet the entire town rallied together to help each other. She’d only felt at home one place in her life. But she’d run away from her grandmother’s as soon as she’d been able. In the midst of this tragedy, Clarissa wondered if maybe she hadn’t found home again.

Handing the now sleeping child to his father, she stretched, rubbing a crick in her back, happy to be helping, to be part of this.
 

“She doesn’t belong out there.” The shrewish words sounded in a whisper as Clarissa moved toward the church kitchen. She stopped as soon as she heard the voice, knowing instantly who the words were about.

“Shush, Joan. You don’t…”

“Don’t shush me. We don’t know anything about her.”

“I know now is not the time. She’s here, she’s helping. Just stop.”

“Mark my words, that girl’s trouble.”