Lessons in Gravity (Study Abroad #2) (24 page)

It’s all I can do not to take her in my arms, and hold her, and make love to her the way I want to.

But I have to wait my turn.

This is what I agreed to give her right now. Nothing more, nothing less.

I glide my hands up to her breasts. They harden beneath my touch, filling my palms with their ripe firmness. She gasps as I thumb her nipples.

She guides my dick between her legs, her other hand braced on my chest for support. I feel her heat pressing down on me as she angles me
just
so at her entrance. She’s tight; it’s going to take a minute for us to figure this out, especially with her on top.

I sink into her pussy, Maddie canting her hips to help me glide more easily into her wetness. Even with the condom on, I can feel how slick she is, how ready.
 

Jesus.
Christ
. Have mercy.
On me
.

She lets out a moan.

She’s so tight it almost hurts, so small I’m afraid I’m hurting her.
 

Mujer
, I gasp.
Are you okay?

In reply she sinks all the way down, swallowing my dick to the root. I gasp. She moans. She feels…she feels like everything. Sweetness and heartbeats and an eviscerating closeness.

I want to kiss her, badly.

I wish Maddie would let me fucking kiss her.
 

I also wish I could see her. See her face. See her spread-eagled on top of me, the lips of her pussy engorged around my cock. Just imagining what she’d look like is enough to make me groan.

In the dark, I can only feel her. But that’s enough to know she’s incredibly sexy.

It’s her confidence that almost sends me over the edge. She doesn’t hesitate, doesn’t hide; she just
does
. And Christ does she do it well.

Both of her hands are on my chest, and she begins to move her hips. Little swivels at first, just enough movement that I glide in and out of her in short, excruciatingly delightful spurts.
 

I give her breasts a gentle squeeze, nipples hard against my palms; she swivels a bit harder. Harder.

Harder
.

I move my hips up to meet her. She goes still, a moan stalling in the back of her throat.

Javier
, she breathes.
Javier.

Maddie grabs one of my hands and brings it between us, just above the jointure of our bodies. Using her first two fingers, she guides my thumb in a small, slippery circle around her clit.

Touch me here,
she says.
Yes—there—ah, Javier! right there—

Her pussy contracts, another tremor; this one makes me feel the first stirrings of my own orgasm, heat spiraling tighter and tighter between my legs. I hope I can hold on long enough to let her go first.

We are, after all, doing this Maddie’s way.

She’s just so fucking sexy. Delicious. It’s driving me crazy, not being able touch her like I want to, but if she wanted hard and fast—well, that’s what we’re doing. And I don’t hate it.

The darkness swirls around us, and I am lost in it. I can’t shake the sensation of falling through air, my stomach flipping every time Maddie breathes my name, every time she touches my skin.

She’s full on riding me now, our bodies beginning to stick with sweat. Despite the pace, we manage to keep our rhythm, my hips rising to meet hers just as she falls. We’re good at this thing, this pity fucking, effortlessly good at it, like this isn’t our second time, like we’ve been at this forever and ever.

My heart is hammering in my chest and my cock is pulsing in the grip of her cunt and I can’t stand it, I have to kiss her, I have to take her mouth and have it, I think it will be the thing to make her come.

It will be the thing that makes me feel less lost.

I glide my free hand from her breast to the small of her back and pull her closer to me. She’s laying on top of me now, still straddled around my hips, the pebbled points of her breasts brushing my chest as she bumps up and down, up and down. It changes the angle of my dick; I’m pressing against the front wall of her pussy, hard, my thumb falling away from her clit as she massages herself against me.

“Oh,” she moans. “
Oh
.”

I take the back of her head in my hand and pull her to me. I don’t tease her, I don’t test her with a gentle press of lips; I crush my mouth to hers, my tongue as greedy as her cunt. It’s a deep kiss, a messy kiss.

Best of all, Maddie kisses me back. Long, deep strokes, a tangle of lips and tongues, and she’s moaning now, her pussy clenching around me. Finally touching her the way I want to makes me wild—with need, with tenderness. I have all of her right here in my arms, her mouth, her pussy, her breath, but it’s not enough.

I want more. She always leaves me feeling this way—wanting
more
.

I don’t know what I’m going to do when she goes back to the states.

She digs her hands into the flesh of my shoulders, clinging to me in anticipation of the rush. I hold her, wrapping my arms tightly around her, fitting her into my chest. She fits so perfectly against me, her body a compliment to my own; her soft curves a devastating foil to my sharp edges.

Guapa
, I whisper in her ear, trailing my lips across her jaw.
Guapa, I know how much you like to lose gravity. Do it again. Do it again for me, Maddie
.

I take her mouth one last time, my palms gliding down the warm skin of her back, and she comes.

Great, gasping pulses that squeeze my cock so hard I have no choice but to let go, to give into her rush.

To give into the feeling of her letting go, too, in my arms.

She’s still coming around me, milking me, hurting me, when it happens. My hips buck off the bed, the tightness between my legs bursting into a point of white-hot light. It pounds through me in time to my frantically beating heart, each pulse blaring harder, louder, pulling me inside out.

It’s violent, my release.

Violent and so very sweet.

Maddie bites my lip, hard, her moan vibrating in my throat as she goes limp against me. I keep coming, and coming, holy shit, I’m
coming
, am I ever going to stop coming?

The pounding lessens, bit by bit; its aftershocks wring what little energy is left in my body. I take a long, low breath, filling my lungs; Maddie’s body rises with my chest, her hair tickling my nose as she moves.

I let it out, the breath. For a minute neither of us says a word. We just lay in my bed, our limbs tangled, not daring to break the silence. I hold her and she lets me, her arms curled between us, her head tucked into the shelter of my neck. The scents of sweat and sex hang heavy in the stuffy air underneath the blankets.

I open my eyes. The darkness is still there, but the dizziness is gone, replaced with sudden, searing clarity; replaced with the solid weight of Maddie on top of me, her breath warm on my skin.

I felt lost before I met Maddie.

But now—now I feel
found
.

Chapter 19

Maddie

The Next Morning

I wake up to the smell of coffee.

Javier
. I don’t know why that homey smell makes me think of Javier, but it does. A warm rush moves through my body. My very
naked
body.

The rush pools between my legs. There’s a pinch there, a small but hot hunger as I sit up and survey the cozy, fluffy expanse of Javier’s massive bed.

Oh God.

I went back for seconds.

Oh
God
.

I take a warrior breath, let it out. My eyes flutter shut.

I am such an idiot.

Sleeping with Javier the first time was great.

But seconds? The seconds were fucking
amazing
. So good, so overwhelmingly delicious, that my heart’s gone all soft on me. I want him. I crave him—his kindness and his body and the way he makes me feel—I like him so damn much I don’t know what to do with myself.

He makes me want things,
believe
in things like happiness and hope, that I know aren’t meant for me.

This is going to hurt
. Leaving Javier is going to hurt so badly, I can already tell.

I should’ve never come here. I should’ve muscled out this snowstorm at my
señora
’s apartment; I should’ve used this time to work on my thesis.

I should’ve never let Javier in.
 

My throat tightens. I feel closer to Javier than ever before, which is all the more reason to run. I’m investing too much…too much emotion, I guess, too much heart and hope in a man who is much better off with someone else. Someone who will stay. Someone who is willing to put down roots here in Spain. I am not that someone; I have to go back to Atlanta, soon, and help my mom pack up the house. Even if my mom didn’t need my help, there’s no way my dad will pay for another semester in Madrid. I can’t put down roots in a city I don’t live in.

It’s clear to me that Javier and I can never find forever together. We live in different cities, different countries. And we want different very different things.
 

I’m afraid he’ll hate me when I tell him we’re done.

I have to get out of here. Now.

I can’t find my clothes—the bed ate them, I guess—so I sneak into Javier’s closet and grab a crisp white button down. Sliding it over my head, I smell him, the scent now familiar—the cinnamon and soap. The fabric brushes against my nipples, hardening them, making the ache between my legs pulse brighter.

His shirt is huge; it fits more like a dress on me, the starched shirt tails trailing along the middle of my thighs. I toe into my foot pussies and shuffle to the bathroom. I half expect the mirror to crack on account of my reflection, but I’m pleasantly surprised to see that I look kinda sexy in Javier’s shirt, my hair a bit wild, lips still red and swollen from Javier’s mouth and tongue and teeth.

I run through what I’m going to say in my head as I grasp the railing and clomp down the stairs.
We can’t do this anymore, Javier. We have to stop while we’re ahead. I hope you’ll understand. Please, please, don’t hate me for this. Also, can you help me find my clothes? I should probably head home now…

I step into the living room and glance out the windows. It’s a winter wonderland outside, the snow blanketing the city. There is not a soul to be seen. The sky is still grey and ominous; more snow is on the way.

Javier’s already lit a fire on the fireplace. It crackles and snaps, making the flat feel cozier and warmer than ever.

I turn to face the kitchen.

My heart stalls when my gaze collides with Javier’s. He’s more handsome-hot than ever, sleep mussed, disheveled, scruffy in sweats and a long-sleeved tee. When he smiles it’s like I’ve been hit by a force field of kind-sexiness that is so wonderfully Javier it knocks the breath from my lungs.

Fuck fuck fuck this is going to
hurt
.

“Buenos días, guapa,” he says, his voice gravelly with sleep.
Good morning, beautiful.
His gaze sharpens as it moves down the length of my body. My nipples prickle to renewed life beneath the heat of his gaze. “Holy shit, Maddie, you look…you look pretty amazing in my shirt. Better than I do. A lot better. Christ…”

“Thanks,” I say, shyly. “I couldn’t find my clothes, so. Um. I had to borrow yours. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Mind? Are you fucking kidding me?” He digs a hand into his hair. I know his eyes are still on me; the heat is unbearable. “You are welcome to raid my closet anytime. Seriously.”

I have to tell him no. No more. I have to leave, get out of here
now
, before I do something stupid.

“Listen, Javier—”

“Cappuccino with skim milk all right?” he says, clearing his throat. “I know how much you like your caffeine. I made it extra strong.”

I blink, looking up. Javier’s turned his back to me, and he’s messing with something that looks like a very fancy coffee maker. As he moves, the muscles in his back and shoulder bulge against the well-worn fabric of his shirt. I remember the feel of those muscles, the glide of his bare skin beneath my fingers.

Warrior breath
. Must. Remember. To. Breathe.

“Yes,” I manage. “Yeah, I love cappuccinos, but aren’t they, like, pretty complicated to make? Really, you don’t have to—”

Javier turns around, an enormous, shallow mug in his hands. A cloud of white foam spills over the side; Javier catches it with his first finger, giving his hand a shake.

“Too late. I already made you one.” He meets my eyes. Grins.
 

He stands in front of me, tall and huge, and guides the mug into my hands.

“Shut the fuck up,” I say, staring in disbelief at the gorgeous caffeinated concoction I hold between my palms. The mug is just warm enough, a pleasant sting against my skin.

He laughs, pressing his lips to the top of my head. “You’re welcome.”

I look up.
Tell him
. Tell him you have to go.

“Javier—”

But then he’s covering my mouth with his, pulling at my lips, parting them with his tongue, and in the space of half a heartbeat I’m kissing him back, sinking into him, falling into the irresistible pull of everything Javier. His body and his barista skills and his thoughtfulness and the sensual shape of his lips and the way he smells and the way he touches me. He’s impossible to resist.