Lessons in Gravity (Study Abroad #2) (23 page)

“Javier, could I ask a favor?”

He swallows, smacks his lips. “Of course. What’s up?”

“Pity fuck me,” I say.

Even as the surprise registers on his face, his eyes flash with something dark.

Something like desire. The sharp, raw kind.

It’s an agony, waiting one heartbeat, then another, another, another, for him to reply. I plea with him in time to my frantic pulse:
say something say something please Javier say something.

At last he set down the wineglass. He looks down at my legs. Swallows.

Looks up at me.

And then he puts his hand on my bent leg, just above the knee, and slowly,
slowly
, drags his hand up the length of my thigh, holding me tightly between his thumb and forefinger.

Watching me all the while.

“
Pity
fuck you?” His voice is low, gravelly. He leans close.

“Yeah,” I say. “Like, I’ve had a shitty day, take-pity-on-me-with-some-sexual-healing type of thing? It really would make me feel better.”

He grins, lets out a rumble of laughter.

He leans closer, ohmigod he’s so close, I can smell his skin, I am burning up, I can’t take it, I want, Javier, Javier, please, I
need
—

His lips brush my jaw, just beneath my chin; his stubble scrapes against my skin; a slow, scruffy caress.

My eyes prick at the rush of sensation that moves through me. It’s terrifying.

It’s wonderful.

“I won’t fuck you,” he murmurs. “But I will make love to you, guapa.”

My heart trips to a sudden, painful stop. “I don’t—you know I don’t…”

“Humor me.”

I meet his eyes. Roll my tongue between my lips. He’s serious. Deadly serious.

“Let’s compromise,” I say. “Once my way. Once yours. Deal?”

Javier grins, revealing the comma-shaped dimples in the scruff on either side of his mouth.

“Deal.” He holds out his hand. “C’mon, let’s go upstairs.”

Chapter 18

Javier

I hold the blankets up, and Maddie climbs into my bed beside me, burrowing her body into the curve of my own. I’ve had a half-woody since Maddie said the words
pity fuck
a few minutes ago downstairs.

Now, with the warm willingness of her body pressed against me, my dick’s gone full salute. And we’re talking
full
salute. Like. Painfully full. I suck in a breath when she turns, her butt brushing against it.

She swallows, an enormous sound in the dark silence that surrounds us.

“Wow,” she says.

“I’d say I’m sorry,” I murmur. “But I’m not.”

Maddie turns again so that she’s facing me. The scent of her coconut shampoo fills my head. I love that smell. I even bought some coconut shampoo for myself. I smile every time I use it because it makes me think of her.

In reply she takes my hand and slowly guides it down between us. When we reach the waistband of her leggings, I freeze.

“Maddie—”

“No, Javier. My way first.” Her lips brush lazily against mine as she speaks. “It’s your turn to trust me. My way. Please.”

I grin against her mouth. “Vale,” I say. “Estoy en tus manos
.
”

I’m in your hands.

She tugs the duvet over our heads, cloaking us in darkness. My vision goes blank; after a beat, my other senses blink alive, and I’m overwhelmed by smell and feel and taste. I’m aware of the sound of her breath, the smell of her hair, the warmth radiating off her skin.

She surrounds me, Maddie, mujer, guapa. I’m overwhelmed by the desire I have for her; by the desire to touch her, possess her, make her come, make her cry out my name.

I want to do all this slowly, savoring every minute she gives me. We have all night, sure, but there’s no knowing if—when—Maddie might pull away. When she might run.

I want slow, but she’s in charge. For this round, anyway.

My way
. She wants to do this her way. Fast, no-holds-barred pity sex. I don’t mind fast, of course. I’d fuck upside-down while hanging from a circus trapeze if it meant making Maddie happy.

I only hope she gives me a chance to show her making love can be good, too.

She slides our tangled fingers into the front of her leggings. My fingertips brush something that feels like lace; her underwear.

My pulse—and my dick—jump. They’re tiny, her underwear, and delicate; I could rip them to shreds with a flick of my wrist.

I’m tempted. But Maddie’s in the lead for this first round; I merely follow, happy to give her what she needs.

I’m so happy she came over today.

We glide past the lacy underwear, my palm skimming the wiry surface of her pubic hair.
 

She lets out a long, low breath, guiding my middle finger further, further, her legs falling apart as we furrow between the lips of her cunt.

She’s hot.

And wet. Already so. Fucking.
Wet
.

I grit my teeth. Christ, I’m going to come in my pants if I’m not careful.

In the quiet darkness, I feel the throb of her pulse inside her slick swollenness as an audible sound.

“Dios mío, mujer,” I murmur.
My God, woman.

I slide my finger further, catching my fingertip in her entrance. She tightens around me, an invitation; I glide effortlessly into her pussy, its grip vise-like around my finger. I groan. It’s going to feel so good to be inside her.

I want so badly to be inside her.

I pull out my finger, slowly, running it along the center of her slit. She guides it up, up, my fingertip working small circles into her flesh until we find her clit.

She gasps.

I grin.

Her fingers go slack as I work my way around the spot. I tease, moving my fingertip in a wide arc around the ridge of her lips; I come back to where she likes it, pressing a little harder, her soft pants filling my ears, my head.

My heart.

I try to kiss her, ducking my head so that our mouths might finally meet; but she merely bites my bottom lip and works her hips against my finger, throwing back her head so that my lips find the tender flesh of her throat.

“Off,” she breathes, untangling her fingers from mine. “Take them off, Javi.”

With a groan I pull my hand out from between her legs, and then I’m tugging her leggings and her underwear off her hips, the sound of my fingers scraping against her skin filling the small space between us. She bends her knees, helping me to pull them off her feet.

Using my foot, I shove the knot of her clothes toward the bottom of the bed.

It’s completely dark beneath the covers, but my hand finds the bare length of Maddie’s leg anyway. It seems like I’ve been waiting a lifetime to touch these otherworldly legs of hers again. It’s all I can do to keep my fingers from trembling as I draw a line from her calf up to the sleek knotted lines of her knee to the softness of her thigh, inviting me to keep going, keep going—my fingers work shapes into her smooth skin, I can’t believe I’m touching her like this, I can’t believe she’s letting me touch her again—

Her legs fall apart as my fingers part the lips of her pussy and sink into her center. Two fingers this time—middle and fourth—and she gasps as I slide into her warmth. Her fingers are there, too, working at her clit while I work her center; it only takes us half a heartbeat to fall into a rhythm, and I feel her stretching around me, the first tremors of an impending orgasm.

She grabs my other hand and brings it to the hem of her shirt. Together we glide beneath it, my fingers catching on the erect pebble of her nipple.

I groan, a guttural, animal sound.

She’s not wearing a bra. She must’ve taken it off while she was in the bathroom brushing her teeth a few minutes ago.

I press the pad of my thumb into her nipple; she gasps; I move it back and forth, the soft mound of her breast filling my palm as I work her nipple, drawing it to an even tighter—and I imagine painful—point.
 

Maddie’s all curves and soft skin, her body so different from mine. So vulnerable, so warm, in all the right places.

I press my body against hers, closer, closer, we can never be fucking close enough. We’re winding tighter, the two of us, our bodies coming together with an ease and a thumping knowledge I am not prepared for. You would think we’d have fucked dozens, hundreds of times for how comfortable this feels.

We still haven’t kissed. I try to find her mouth, but then she’s tugging at my tee shirt, drawing it up over my belly and chest. I have to let go of her to take it off, and as my hands move between us I can smell the saltiness of her arousal on my fingers.

An arousal I want to bury myself in. My dick throbs. My heart beats an uneven tune inside my chest, my head, and as much as I want to take control of this moment, as much as I want to make Maddie mine in my own way, I want to give her what she needs. Control, orgasms—whatever she needs, I want to be the one to give it to her.

I’ll take her any way that I can.

I take off her shirt, too, letting it fall to the side. I run a hand across the skin of her belly. So much skin now between us. The tips of her nipples brush my chest as I slide my hand to the small of her back and pull her to me. I love holding her like this against me; feeling the springy press of her pubic hair against my bare hip, her breath warm on my shoulder.

Skin on skin on skin.
 

I go in for another kiss, but she presses a finger to my lips.

“My way,” she breathes. “Remember?”

I wish I could see her eyes.
What are you feeling?
I wonder.
 

Is that what you really want, to keep your distance even when you’re in my arms?

Her hands are moving now, down, her fingernails tracing lanes of fire across my skin.
 

I know where she’s heading, but when she hooks her finger into the top of my sweats, I still jump. I’m ready—I am so fucking ready—but I’m not. It’s happening too fast. One minute she’s asking me to fuck her, and the next we’re here, naked as the day we were born, and she’s wet and I’m willing and we’re both on the verge of losing control. We’re rough with need and loud with longing. Touching each other with an urgency that is at odds with the soft, almost reverent things I feel for her.

But it’s what she wants.

And I am going to give this girl what she wants.
 

I dig my teeth into the tender skin of her throat as Maddie’s questioning finger grazes the sensitive tip of my penis.

She isn’t wearing a bra.

I’m not wearing boxers.

The breath catches in her throat as lust, thick and roaring, pulverizes what’s left of my senses. Maddie tugs down the fall of my pants, and—
fuck me, fuck me
—my dick surges proudly into her waiting hand.

“Wow,” she repeats. “Just—wow, Javier.”

She grips the shaft, gives it a slow, milking tug.

I see stars.

I’m in your hands
, I repeat in Spanish. My brain has started to short-circuit; groping for words, I seem to only find the Spanish ones, my English all but forgotten.

She arches against me, pulling on my dick as she moves, running her thumb over its swollen head. It digs into her belly; I reach down and feel the pre-cum slick on her skin.

“Condom,” I manage. “Now.”

“Where?” she says.

“Aquí.”
Here.
I duck my head out of our cocoon of blankets, gasping at the cool air. Maddie’s still working at my dick, feeling, tugging, caressing. I grit my teeth. Digging into my top drawer, I grab a foil packet.

The second I’m back under the covers, Maddie climbs on top of me, her bare thighs gripping my hips.
 

Wait,
I say, tearing at the foil with my teeth.

I don’t want to wait
, she replies in Spanish.
I’m ready for you now.

I roll the condom onto my cock, Maddie’s hands tangling with mine along the shaft, engorged with blood and need and arousal. I’m thankful for the condom; without it, I’d last all of two seconds inside her.

She’s sitting up now, straddling me as she grips my dick. My hands feel their way up the sides of her waist, her bones and skin so delicate, so feminine beneath my calloused fingertips, it makes my chest clench.

Maddie is smart. She’s strong and she’s independent and I have no doubt she’s going to kill it on her own when she graduates. But knowing her like I do—touching her like I am now—I am aware that as intense as her strength is, her vulnerabilities are equally as deep.

I hate her father for hurting her. Who could ever hurt such loveliness? Who could ever take advantage of such naked passion, such strident, unabashed love for the world and all its wonders?
 

I’m overwhelmed by the need to protect her, to protect these bones and this enormous heart. She deserves to have her vulnerabilities protected so that her strengths might shine.