Lauraine Snelling (20 page)

She sank down on the sofa and stared at a bowl flowered in bright primary colors centered on the table that held apples, oranges, bananas, and grapes. Maria, the housekeeper, must have done all this—for her, a woman she’d never met and one who had a prison record. Maggie picked off a couple of grapes and nibbled them while she studied her new home some more. She’d thought a dingy apartment somewhere would be her new home—nothing like this. Shaking her head in disbelief, she hefted her duffel bag onto the bed and within three minutes was all unpacked, her things stowed in the closet and drawers.

Taking a couple slices of cheese and ham, she sat on the steps and watched the sunset flaming the cloud ribbons until the clouds faded to gold, then silver, and the evening star winked at her. A dog barked from some other house, a chill seeped into her shoulders, but still she sat there. A donkey brayed, catching her by surprise. No one could tell her to go in, to eat, to sleep, to get up. She hadn’t even noticed a clock in her new home.

When the stars grew beyond her ability to count, she stood and stretched, then opened the door and stepped back into her house. Alone, she was all alone. She opened the fridge door again and tried to decide what to fix. Soup? No. Fried chicken, maybe. She shut the door and sank down on the nook bench. She couldn’t decide. She’d not had to make decisions like this for nearly eight years.

“Just put something in the microwave and eat, for crying out loud.” Her voice sounded loud in the stillness. She opened cupboards again and found a plastic container with homemade chocolate chip cookies. She took out two and closed the container carefully before setting it back on the shelf. Next to it sat peanut butter, extra crunchy. How had Maria known she liked extra crunchy? How would she ever tell the woman thank you enough? She twisted off the lid, peeled back the seal, and inhaled fresh peanut butter. They could make a perfume with that fragrance. Taking a spoon from the drawer, she dug into the peanut butter and alternately munched the cookies and the crunchy treat.

A small television waited on a corner shelf, but she didn’t bother to turn it on, just undressed and stepped into the shower. She could have stayed there longer, but the water changed to cold so she turned it off, dried, and promising herself a nightshirt when she went shopping, donned a T-shirt and crawled into brand new sheets on a huge bed and no bars anywhere.

Day one of her new life already flown by. Maggie turned over and thumped her pillow—high loft after the years of flat. She stroked cotton fabric of the thread count she’d forgotten. So many contrasts it was more sensory overload than she ever dreamed. When she finally slipped into sleep, nightmares chased memory dreams, jerking her awake but not enough to let them all go. Finally she got up and sat at the table, staring at the bowl of fruit. She plucked a few grapes and ate them, then leaned over and pulled the blinds closed. Too much space, too much to see, too much living to catch up on.

She was out in the barn when the birds grumbled at each other in the trees and the dawn was still caught in indecision. Though the barn was dark, she didn’t turn on a light for fear that Mr. Winters—er, Gil—would think something was wrong. She slipped inside Breaking Free’s stall and waited for him to come to her, his warm presence a reassurance they were living a new reality. She sat down in the corner by the hay rack and stroked his face when he lowered his head.

“I think you’re adjusting better than I am, Freebee. If I think my life simple, all I need to do is look at yours and see real simplicity. Hay, feed, water, a place to run, a good brushing, a good friend or two. Did you have bad dreams too? You should see all the choices I had in there. Overload, that’s what it is, but I’ll get used to this life—you can bet your whiskers I will.”

Gil found her sound asleep in the corner of the stall when he came out to check on her. He brought several flakes of hay and dropped them in the hay rack, the noise of it making her blink and stretch.

“Did you sleep out here all night?”

Maggie shook her head, pulling bits of straw out of her hair. “Dawn was coming.” Staggering to her feet, she yawned and stretched again. Was there a law against sleeping in a horse’s stall? Not that she’d ever done such a thing before. When he returned with a full water bucket, she bit her lip. “I’ll do that.”

“See that you do then.”

“Is there a certain time schedule I need to follow?” Why was he being so grumpy? She didn’t remember him being like this at Los Lomas. In fact his good humor at the open house was one of the things that made her willing to try living here. But he’d been curt yesterday too.

“No. But you weren’t in your trailer and I . . .”

“You thought I’d taken off?”

“The thought entered my mind.”

“And leave Breaking Free and Eddie? Do you think I would break my word to him?” She crammed her hands into her pockets to keep them from shaking. “And parole? You think I’m nuts or something?”

Gil stopped and stared at her. “The thought entered my mind.”

“Well, get rid of it. Unless you kick me out, I’m here for the duration or until Eddie no longer needs me.” She swallowed at the thought of her outburst.
Maggie Roberts, what has gotten into you?
She wasn’t where she should have been. Her thoughts warred between apologizing and getting more frustrated. She sucked in a deep breath and exhaled. “Look, just because I’m an ex-con doesn’t mean I don’t keep my word or that I can’t be trusted. I did not willfully go out and commit a crime, and I have paid for the crime I did commit. Now all I want to do is get on with my life and right now that means taking care of this horse and helping your son . . .” She nearly stumbled at the pang that stabbed her heart. Catching her breath, she finished with . . . “Helping your son and this horse become the kind of partners that can make both their lives better.”
And yours too
, but she didn’t add that.

“Words are easy.”

“Not necessarily.” She held his stare until Breaking Free nudged her for an extra pat.

Gil finally exhaled a sigh and turned away. “We’ll see.”

We’ll see what? If I do my job? If I split?
She shrugged it off. “What time does Eddie get home from school?”

“About three. He rides at Rescue Ranch today. Would you like to go along?”

“Yes, I would. I need to make arrangements with Carly for my own training.”

“Maria will be driving today. I have a meeting. They will leave about three thirty.” He left the stall, and she could hear him walking out of the barn. Shaking her head, she leaned against Breaking Free’s shoulder. “Well, round one is over. I wonder who won.”

Once she’d cleaned out the stall, she brushed Breaking Free and tacked him up. “Time for the round pen, fella.” She led him out and into the pen, shutting the gate before mounting him and adjusting her stirrups. He snorted and she sighed. How beautiful everything looked from the back of the horse. The house with the French doors leading to the patio and pool area, green fields crisscrossed by white board fences, green lawns, some trees turning the reds and oranges of fall, all the pieces of her new life laid out before her. She clucked Breaking Free forward and walked him around the pen to loosen up, always making sure that she spoke the commands that went along with the signals she sent him with her legs and hands.

All the while she rode, she tried to figure out how Eddie would ride, how to build the trust between horse and handicapped rider. She reminded herself to ask Carly if there were any books for training horses to be used this way. Her stomach grumbled that she’d not eaten, so she dismounted and removed the saddle and bridle, then let Breaking Free loose in the round pen. Some workmen had arrived and were working on the frame of a building that Maggie assumed would be the office/apartment Gil had mentioned. She watched Breaking Free, but the men and the noise didn’t seem to bother him. Maggie wondered if she’d still be there when it was finished as she made her way to her trailer.

Just inhaling the freshly dripped coffee was a spiritual experience. Wheat toast right out of the toaster, spread with peanut butter and a sliced banana, eaten on the steps of her new home with the sun hot on her face. All by herself. She cradled the cup in her hands and alternately sipped and sniffed. Such simple things. She’d promised herself to consciously enjoy every act of her new life. Real life, not just marking time, not just getting through. Making her bed and putting the breakfast things away took all of five minutes. She eyed the phone. Calling her attorney should be next on her to-do list.

Hearing a voice, she stepped to the door. A dark haired woman and a basset that could only be Bonnie were nearing the trailer. Maggie stepped to the ground. “Hi, you must be Maria.” Maggie extended her hand. “I cannot thank you enough for all you did here for me.”

“You are welcome. This is Bonnie.” Maria smiled and squeezed Maggie’s hand again. “I am glad you are here.” She waved to the pen where Breaking Free stood with his head over the railing, watching them. “He is a beautiful horse.”

“That he is. And this Bonnie is a beautiful dog.” She extended a hand to be sniffed, then squatted down to rub the dog’s ears. “How are you, girl? What a beauty you are.”

“She misses Eddie when he at school.”

“I made coffee a few minutes ago, would you like some?” How strange it felt, to be offering someone coffee like this, like a normal woman would.

“Sí, with sugar please.”

“Come inside.” Maggie held open the screen door. “Bonnie, you too.”

“We bring you some chairs for outside?”

“That would be wonderful.” Maggie poured the coffee and set the cups, sugar, and spoon on the table. Nose to the floor, Bonnie gave everything the sniff test. Taking the cookie container out of the cupboard, Maggie offered Maria one and then took one for herself. “Is Bonnie allowed people food?”

“Sí, Eddie slips her treats all the time.” Maria picked up her cup. “You tell me what you need, and I get it.”

“Is it all right if I ride to Eddie’s lesson with you?” Maggie took a bite of her cookie.
I could bake cookies
. The thought made her nod. Other than caring for Breaking Free, her time was her own. “And could I go shopping with you sometime if you don’t mind?”

“I go before I pick up Eddie at school. You want to come?”

Maggie hesitated and then nodded. “I’ll make a list.” She sipped her coffee. “Is there somewhere I can buy clothes?”

“At Kmart.”

“Could we go there?” Maggie thought of her cash situation. She’d had fifty dollars saved in her account at Los Lomas. That wouldn’t go far.

When they finished their coffee, Maria and Bonnie returned to the house and Maggie took Breaking Free for a walk along all the fences that divided the field into smaller pastures. She let him stop and graze in one spot where the grass was fetlock high, mentally making her list as she looked up at the hills that blended into more hills. In other parts of the country these hills might be called mountains, here they were all part of the Tehachapi Mountain range, covered in pine and oak trees. She could just stay here forever.

Later in the store, she forced herself to move from item to item when her temptation was to look at everything, but the variety, the colors and textures quickly overwhelmed her. She checked out with only a few of the things on her list and a driving need to get back outside. She waited by the car until Maria returned.

“You okay?” Maria asked.

Maggie nodded. She was now—the shaking had stopped.

Back at her trailer, the thought of getting in the car again and going to Rescue Ranch seemed as difficult as climbing a rock face—barefoot. But after talking it over with Freebee from the safety of the corner of his stall, she patted him good-bye and joined Eddie and Maria in the van. She’d expected Eddie to come to the barn to see Breaking Free before leaving but decided not to ask why he didn’t.

“How was school?” she asked when he’d finished buckling in.

“Okay.” He shrugged. “How is Breaking Free?” His eyes lit up.

“He likes the pasture, the round pen and the new saddle fit him fine.”

“You rode him? Wow!”

“Gave him a good workout. He is settling in well. Will you be feeding him tonight?”

Eddie glanced at Maria who nodded. “Yes. And grooming him.”

“Good. I’m thinking we need to build a ramp for you, to get you higher.”

“I’ve been working with crutches again. I’ll try those.”

“Your braces too small.” Maria shook her head, all the while keeping her eyes on the road.

“I’ll use them anyway.”

Maggie detected a tone of defiance in his voice. What was going on?

When they arrived at Rescue Ranch, she learned Carly wasn’t there. So she and Maria made their way to the bleachers to watch the lessons in progress in the arena. Maggie wasn’t surprised to see that Eddie was a favorite with the aides as they laughed and teased him, getting the same right back.

“Eddie one of the best kid riders,” Maria volunteered.

“He sure looks happy.”

“He loves to ride.”

Maggie thought a bit, then asked, “Why didn’t he come down to see Breaking Free after school? I expected him to be so excited.” She watched as Maria studied the actions in the arena.

“I too busy to come.” She paused, bit her lip. “I-I had a phone call.”

“Excuse me?” Then it dawned on her. Mr. Winters’ rules. Eddie was not to be alone with her. She huffed her disgust. Well, the man would have to learn.
No
, her inner voice chided her.
You will have to earn his trust. Like you did with Breaking Free.

Eddie vibrated with excitement as he wheeled back and forth. “Did you see me trot all by myself?”

“I-we did.” Maggie included Maria. Once the wheelchair was back in the car and everyone’s seat belts fastened, Maggie turned to glance at Eddie who grinned back at her.

“Hey, Maria, did Enrico call you today?”

Maggie glanced at Maria. Was that a blush she saw? Who was Enrico? Did that dip of the chin mean Maria had a man friend? Leave it to Eddie to fill her in.

“Enrico and Maria were friends in Guatemala, and he owns the company that cleans our pool. They just met again a couple of days ago. He likes her, I can tell.”