Lauraine Snelling (18 page)

Easy to say, you’re not being asked to do this
.

“Remember, if things don’t work out, you can return the horse to us.” Annie took a step forward. “We are giving you a special break here, you know.”

Gil nodded. “I understand that.” He closed his eyes for a moment, surprised that he caught himself beseeching the Almighty for wisdom. Taking a deep breath, he turned to Maggie and waited until she looked up at him, trapping her gaze. “Why should I hire you?” he asked, his voice soft but underlaid with steel ribbons.

Without blinking, she answered. “Because I can give your son the dream of his life.”

If this was the way God was answering Eddie’s prayer, Gil would not allow himself to stand in the way, but everything within him pleaded for more time, more choices. “What do I need to do?”

EIGHTEEN

M
s. Roberts?” Eddie smiled from his locked-down wheelchair when she looked over her shoulder.

“You can call me Maggie,” she said without thinking, then turned to the man driving the van. “If that’s all right with you.”

“I guess that would be all right.” Gil nodded and glanced in the rearview mirror to see his son. The man didn’t look at her.

Maggie watched everything Gil did and tried to see the scenery at the same time. She was free. Actually on parole, but out of the Los Lomas Correctional Facility. It had been Mr. James’ idea that she accompany Breaking Free to help him get settled with his new owner and help train him. A temporary arrangement, at best, she thought. But it meant she didn’t have to face filling out job applications right away and having to explain to every potential employer why she had a criminal record. Plus, she wouldn’t have to say good-bye to Freebie, at least not for a while. Nevertheless, she had hesitated when Mrs. Donelli had told her the conditions of her probation and about the job they’d arranged. She liked Eddie, but she wasn’t sure about his father. Gil Winters obviously wasn’t thrilled about her working with his son, so why had he agreed to it? If their roles had been reversed, would she have done the same?

The gates had closed behind her for the last time. She was not just taking one of the daily rides to the horse barns but riding down the freeway, in a van with a young boy and his highly resistant father. What did she know about them, other than their names, that Gil made his living as a public speaker and corporate trainer, and that the board had approved their adoption of Breaking Free?

Her mind flipped back to the meeting in the visitor’s room a few days before, the sober-to-the-point-of-unfriendly face across from her. Stopping the trembling in her hands took most of her concentration.

“I thought we should talk privately,” he had said after an abrupt greeting.

“I see.” Not at all, but that sounded polite.

“I got a copy of transcript of your trial.” He paused, perhaps waiting to see her response. When she just nodded, he continued. “It was pretty cut-and-dried. But I’m surprised that with no priors you received the full sentence.”

She nodded again. They’d all been surprised, including her attorney. Another one of those memories she’d managed to bury deeply enough to ignore—most of the time. Dennis, her husband, had walked out. The divorce papers arrived a week later.

Mr. Winters stared into her eyes. “Are you an alcoholic?”

She shook her head. “Two drinks doesn’t make me an alcoholic.”

“Did you drink frequently?”

How do you define frequently
? “Only when my husband and I went out to dinner or had guests or . . .”

“Or you got upset or angry or . . . ?”

Now he sounded like the prosecuting attorney, who’d tried to beat her into admitting a drinking problem. How many times had she wished she’d never had that second glass of wine? Oh, to be able to live that one moment over again, the one she’d paid for with seven years of her life. But the bottom line—two people had died that night. One of them her only child.

“Look, Mr. Winters, I’ve attended AA meetings all these years . . .”

“And if you work for me, you will continue to attend meetings.” He leaned forward and lowered his voice. “I have some other rules too.”

She’d expected this, so why was it so unnerving?
I don’t have to take this job, surely there are others. But I have to make sure Breaking Free makes it—and that little boy with a dream
. She’d not been able to help her son have dreams, but she could help Eddie. She straightened her shoulders. Nothing Gil Winters could dish out would even begin to compare with what she’d survived.

“You will not drive while Eddie is in the vehicle. You will not have guests on my property. You will train with Carly at Rescue Ranch so you know how to train the horse and teach my son properly.”

“How will I get there? I don’t have a car or a driver’s license.”

“Either myself or my housekeeper, Maria, will drive you. And just as a reminder, even when you get your license, you will not drive with my son in the car, under any circumstances.”

“Anything else?”

“Not at the moment. I ordered a travel trailer set up by the barn for you. We’re in the process of building my office, which will also have a small guest apartment. It won’t be ready for another month at least—we didn’t expect to need it right away.”

“I see.”

“If you will give Maria your grocery list, when she goes shopping, she’ll fill it. Do you have any questions?”

She shook her head. No matter his rules, she would be free.

“Ms. Roberts, er, Maggie?” Eddie’s voice brought her back to the present. “My dad bought a saddle for you and bridle for Breaking Free. We hope it is the right fit.”

“Do you have one of those special saddles?”

“Not yet, I’m saving my money. Maybe by the time I can ride him, I’ll have it.”

She kept herself from glancing at the boy’s father. Surely with all the money he had, he could afford a therapeutic saddle. But such a comment was not her place, she needed to remember that.

“I use one at Rescue Ranch where I ride.” As though they were lit by candles, his eyes looked back at her. “I can’t wait to ride Breaking Free.”

“Well, Eddie, neither can I.” To ride when she wanted, not just when allowed.

“My dad built a round pen for us to use.”

Us, what a lovely word.
What had Mr. Winters said about riding? That’s right, he said he didn’t ride, wasn’t a horseman
.

“Breaking Free arrived all right?”

“Last night. We left him inside his stall.” Gil joined the conversation.

“He’s still there,” Eddie chimed in. “But Maria was going to check on him. I helped feed him this morning. Dad cleaned out his stall.”

Maggie glanced at the man to catch his rolled eye look. “Have you ever cleaned out a stall before?”

“No, but I’m a fast learner. It’s not exactly rocket science. What do people do with all that manure?”

“Depends on where you live. Some places compost it, some sell it, others just make a big pile until the neighbors complain.”

“We have twenty acres and neighbors who would most likely complain sooner rather than later.”

“Do they have horses?”

“Some do, some don’t.”

“We have fenced and cross-fenced pastures,” Eddie joined the conversation again. “Bonnie, she’s my service dog, likes to run in the pasture. Do you think Breaking Free and Bonnie will get along?”

“Most likely, unless she’s afraid of him.”

“Bonnie’s not afraid of much, but we didn’t let them meet yet. Dad says they need time to get used to each other.”

Like we all need time, and for a change, I can pretty much be my own drummer
. She wanted to stick her head out the window and let the wind blow her hair, blow all the prison smells out and away. Blow her last life away and let the new life begin.

Gil listened to their conversation, almost envying Eddie the ease with which he accepted Maggie. He’d debated warning his son about the dangers of hiring an ex-con but decided to just keep on eye on her himself. He had warned Maria however.

He heard her small intake of breath when they drove into the driveway. “We moved in a little over a month ago. This all happened so much faster than I figured it would.” In his mind, it looked pretty chaotic.

“It-it’s beautiful.”

He tried to see it through her eyes. Although he knew she’d come from a middle class background, living in a cell for these years had to have changed her. He tried putting himself in her place and hit a stone wall. This mouse hugging the van’s door didn’t look anything like the confident woman riding Breaking Free at the open house. It made him wonder which one was the real Maggie Roberts.

Eddie pushed the button to the lift, and the door opened automatically. “I’ll show you the barn.” Excitement shot off him like sparks.

“Would you rather get your things settled in your new house or see Breaking Free’s new home?” Gil tried reining in his son’s exuberance.

“I’ll just put my suitcase in my room, er trailer, if that is all right.”

“Fine, I’ll bring that, you walk with Eddie.”

“No, I-I mean . . .” She clamped her mouth shut. And nodded.

“Can I get Bonnie?” Eddie asked.

“No, let’s see how Breaking Free is first. He doesn’t need one more distraction right now,” Gil replied.

“What kind of dog is Bonnie?” Maggie stepped out of the car and shut the door behind her. She now understood what was meant by sensory overload. Grass so green it hurt her eyes, a breeze that while it cooled her skin, abraded it too, the fragrance of marigolds that lined the drive so strong she could taste them. If she followed her urges, she’d be curled in a fetal position back in the van seat. With a supreme act of will, she brought her attention back to Eddie.

“Bonnie is a Basset hound. She’s trained as a service dog. That means she picks things up for me, brings me things.” Eddie shot off the lift as soon as it touched down.

“I see.” Maggie walked beside him on the smooth asphalted path. Sprinklers threw circles of crystal water drops on the pasture, everything looked brand new.

“That’s your house for now.” Eddie pointed at the travel trailer. “We hope you will eat with us like Maria does. But if you want to cook things, you can.” He grinned up at her. “Maria is really a good cook.”

Maggie wished she dared turn and look at the father; she could hear his steps behind them. Had he not informed his son of the rules he’d laid out for her at their meeting?

Eddie rolled into the dimness of the barn. With his head hanging over the stall door, Breaking Free nickered as soon as he saw her.

“He missed you.”

“Not as much as I missed him.” Maggie stroked the horse’s neck and face, all the while inhaling the wonderful perfume of horse. “Hey, fella, did you like the ride?” His nose and upper lip quivered in a soundless whicker as he leaned against her.

“Come pet him, Eddie. He’ll be your friend forever.”

Eddie rolled closer, then waited for the horse to relax again before stopping right beside Maggie. Breaking Free sniffed his hand then inspected his shirt and his head, snuffling and tickling. Eddie laughed and stroked the horse’s face. “I can’t wait to ride him.”

“We’ll let him settle in for a bit first. Get used to the place. Tomorrow we’ll just walk around the pasture, see how he likes it.” She checked his legs. “You never took off the wrappings.”

“I didn’t know we should,” Gil said, a black shadow in the doorway behind them.

Was that a note of belligerence she detected in his voice? Outside her will, her mind flitted back to Los Lomas and the terror of her life, DC. Her voice always wore that tone. She swallowed the incipient fear. DC was no longer part of her life, now to drive her out of her dreams—or rather nightmares. “No problem, I’ll take them off now.” She opened the stall door and slipped inside. “Do you have brushes, curries, clean wrappings?”

“I’ll get them.” Eddie rolled away.

Gil leaned on the stall door and watched her unwrap the bandages and feel down each leg. “Is he all right?”

“No swelling, feels fine.” She gathered the bandages and slung them over the stall door.

“Over there is the tack room. I got a list of necessary supplies from Carly. You remember her; she was at the meeting with the warden. She’s the owner of Rescue Ranch. We stored the supplies in the tack room, but feel free to redo that if you want. If you need more supplies, there’s a pad on the wall.” When he saw Eddie coming, he leaned closer and dropped his voice. “I have his special saddle on order. Should be here any time. He doesn’t know it.”

She backed away. “I see.” She took the bucket of grooming supplies, everything brand new.

“If you need something, just ask.”

“I’m sure . . .”

“We went shopping two days ago. I asked Mr. James what kind of feed and hay Breaking Free was used to.”

“Feed’s in the tack room too?”

“Yes. There is a phone in your trailer if you need to call the house. The number is right beside it. I left the key on the table. Maria put in some basic staples for you and something for dinner. I’m sure she’ll be here to introduce herself in the morning.” He nodded to his son. “Come along, Eddie, we’ll let Maggie and Breaking Free settle in.”

“But Dad . . .”

“Come on, Eddie.” His voice took on that parental
now
tone.

“See you tomorrow, Eddie.” Maggie nodded to the boy and watched the two of them walk out of the barn, Eddie sending her a wave over his shoulder.
Alone, I’m really alone
. “All by myself, except for you big horse.” Breaking Free took a step closer so she could more easily reach his forehead. He lowered his head, another hint to his desires. Maggie complied, then picked up two soft brushes and beginning right behind the horse’s ears, let herself relax into the rhythm. Grooming a horse was the same, no matter if at a prison barn or a fancy stable with only one finished stall and room for several others.

Maggie dropped the brushes in the bucket and leaned her forehead against her horse’s shoulder. Not her horse, Eddie’s horse. Somehow that distinction didn’t bother her. She’d promised herself when she walked out the gates of Los Lomas to live in the moment and rejoice for every little thing. Like right now. Peace and freedom, what more could she want? “Let’s take you out and walk out some of the kinks, what do you think?”