Lasting Summer - [Loving Summer 05] (11 page)

I placed my hand against his cheeks, but
he took it into both of his hands. “I love you Summer, and when Sloane held
that knife to your throat, and I saw that you were bleeding, and he was saying
all those filthy things about you, I had to stop him. I saw red, Summer. I shot
him to stop him, and…” he started crying, “I’d do it all over again to keep you
alive.”

“Drew, oh Drew,” I pulled him into my
arms and hugged him tightly. “It’s okay…”

“My body,” Drew said. “I can’t stop
shaking.”

“It was self-defense. If you didn’t stop
him, he would’ve killed me.”

“I know,” Drew said. “I know, but the
reason why I’m shaking is not from the guilt. That bastard deserved what he got
for terrorizing you for so long, for stalking you, taking all those private
photos of you, for violating your privacy, for threatening you, starting all
those rumors of you, to almost raping and killing you….I mean he had a long
string of offenses. But the reason I can’t stop shaking is the rage I felt
against him and anyone who can think they can terrorize, cyberbully, and
slander someone as sweet and loving as you, Summer. It’s not okay that he got
out of prison early. It’s not okay he hardly serve any time for nearly killing
you last time. It’s certainly not okay that whoever let him out early think his
freedom is more important than your life. He was let out of prison early just
so he could go back to carry out what he didn’t finish. What kind of justice is
that? And…I shudder to think what would have happen if I came a second later,
if I hadn’t turned back to go to the Academy to find you, to tell you I was sorry
about what I had said earlier. You and Nat…would be dead!”

Drew
ran his hand through his hair. “I know we’ve had our ups and downs. I know you
loved both Nat and me so I don’t want to make it any more difficult than it is.
I love you like a man loves a woman. I crave you all the time, want you all the
time, and I am always thinking about you. I decorated this room thinking of
you, thinking how much I’d love to wake up every morning to see you by my
side.” He took a deep breath. “I also want to rock your world. Sex with me will
never get old because this passion I have for you, is a constant eternal flame.
While I may be the head of Donovan Dynamics, I would never do what my father
had done to my mother, cheated on her with a mistress, and neglected us kids,
sending us off to Malibu every summer or anywhere else but home. My top
priority is you, Summer. You will always come first for me. Not my duties, not
my work, nothing else. I just want to be back in your life, Summer. To have you
smile at me with that adoring love in your pretty eyes. You are and will always
be the most beautiful Summer to me.”

He
kissed me softly on my lips, while I kissed him back.

“I
don’t want you to make a decision about who you want to be with forever…me or
Nat, but I do want you to know that I love Nat, too. He’s my brother, and no
matter what, no matter who you choose, we both will make an effort to live with
it. Nat and I talked briefly, and we’ve agreed that the one you didn’t choose
will accept your decision like a man, and will not get in the way of the happy
couple. So you see, Summer, we don’t want you to feel tortured over choosing
someone. We both want you to just be happy and safe. That’s all we asked for.”

I
fell back on Drew’s bed and looked up to the mirror above the bed. Boy, Drew’s
bedroom was equipped for non-stop sex and pleasure. There was no doubt he
thought that was part of a loving relationship between a grown man and woman.
That there was nothing ashamed about wanting to fulfill each other’s needs in
that area of a relationship. Although Nat had been upset when Nadine lost her
mind and tried to kill herself over her impending divorce, Drew took to heart
what could’ve made his father stray…what also broke down their marriage.

“It
was sexual, you know,” Drew said, as if answering my question. “Why my parents’
marriage failed, and my father took on a mistress. They stopped enjoying and
having sex with each other. As simple as that, it was that. I never want that
to happen to us,” Drew said. “We have those needs. It’s there no matter what
anyone or society says about it. As long as you and I admit we have this desire
between us, and as a couple, work to satisfy each others’ needs, along with
emotional needs or whatever else you need from me, I never see our love for
each other dying. Not like my parents’ relationship.”

“What
about everything that went on between Nat and me?”

Drew
took my hand in his. “Nat and I already discussed that our history and past
could not be erased, and we never want you to…it’s what makes you our Summer.
While we may get a little jealous thinking about it, we can’t dwell on it.
What’s more important is what happens in the present and the future. We love
the same girl. With you, how could we not? We have to accept that many people
will…you’re Summer. You have that spark in you that draws people to you. We
agree.”

I
nodded. Strange how the brothers…two men I love individually would discuss this
with each other. I felt a little left out, but then again, that was how close
Drew and Nat was.

I
sighed again, scrunching my forehead in frustration. I never wanted to fall in
love with more than one man, but I ended up falling for two wonderful ones. I
never meant to have this love come between both men. And I certainly didn’t
want to separate Drew and Nat. They needed each other as much as I needed them.
I took to heart what each had said to me, and thought with all my heart and
soul what and whom I really wanted.

And
I came to a decision….

Summer’s
Letter to Nat and Drew

Dear
Nat and Drew,

It was the
hardest decision of my life, making a choice about the rest of my life, and with
whom I would spend it with…

Two
wonderful men who would give me the world, two amazing men who I would give the
world to. It was rare even finding one love like ours, but two? Such a
blessing.

I
would’ve come to you separately to tell you my decision, but being with either
of you always and still makes my head and heart spin…I love you both so much!

Aunt
Sookie, on her deathbed, told me to be happy, and to live life fully. It is her
advice that I will follow, and it is her will that I fulfill my destiny.

If
I choose one brother, I will break the heart of another. If I choose one, I
will not only lose a lover but a friend. Both of you have been family to me.
Separating me from either one of you will be heartbreaking no matter what my
choice is. I don’t want to separate you two. You are brothers, and I know you
will and should always be there for each other.

Yet
I know if I walked away from either of you, you will be heartbroken as well.

There
is no easy solution and no clear solution. Either choice, someone will get
hurt. Either choice, someone will be unhappy.

The
question is, what is the best solution? How certain are we of our love for each
other? Can it stand the test of time? Are we in love with each other because
we’re in love with the idea of love or do we love each other for all our flaws
and perfections? Are we good for each other? Do we build each other up? Do we
complement each other and make each other grow? Do we satisfy each other? Do we
challenge each other? Do we get along and have common interests, dreams or
goals?

You
see…so many factors to consider in deciding on your ideal love. Yet, the most
important one to consider is…are we happy together, not does he makes me
happy because happiness can be out of our control at times, but when we’re
together, when we’re apart, are we happier people because of each other?

I
hope I am all these things to you, as again, both of you are all these things
to me.

Again
if it is up to me, I could never make a decision. You are both my dear Donovan
brothers, my family when I didn’t have one growing up.

So
this is my best solution for a solution. I want both of you. I love both of you.
Call me selfish, call me indecisive, call me a two-timer, but as it is…I am
living life to the fullest being with both of you. I am still too young at 18
to settle down and get married. You two are still too young to settle down and
get married. You must fulfill Aunt Sookie’s will too, to live your lives to the
fullest.

Because
of Nat’s identity and dangerous situation, we’ve agreed we can’t be together as
we once were. Nat as Cooper is a dear friend, and I hope to stay friends to see
how Nat will develop and live finally carefree of the weight he’s always felt. Nat
will always be a hero for me and for the greater good. I had always looked up
to you, idolized you because you were so precious to me. Yet I feel your
destiny is far greater than it will be with me. I want you to fly up to reach
your full potential, to soar. It would be my greatest happiness to see you
reach that potential and fulfill your true destiny.

And
Drew…you’ve always been there for me uncannily at the right time. If it wasn’t
for you, I wouldn’t be alive today. You are flawed, you have weaknesses like
everyone else, and you drive me crazy all the time in both good and bad ways.
We both idolize and care about Nat; we both fumble around together trying to be
more like Nat. In more ways than one, I’ve come to realize you and I have more
in common than we believed. I am insatiable like you are. I let my emotions run
all the time, and I find sleeping in a bed with motors, lights, music and sound
effects awesome. As Aunt Sookie has taught us, life is short, and I don’t want
to worry about the what ifs of tomorrow. I want to be with you right now.
Today. And that’s where we are until tomorrow.

Love
your Lasting Summer

Nat

W
hen I read
Summer’s letter to me, I found myself smiling. She had hit the nail on the head
with what our relationship truly was. I was the big brother, the idol she never
had, yet wanted to be like. Even writing a letter like the ones I always wrote
her.

I should have felt sad or angry about
her choosing to be with Drew but I also knew she was right about living life to
the fullest. She was living hers, and so was Drew, but was I?

I missed certain aspects of my life as
Nat Donovan, but I was beginning to enjoy the new one as Cooper or Troy or Bob
or whatever cover I will have to have in order to keep ahead of Xavier and his
cronies. It was an adrenaline-pumping adventure I never thought I’d come to
enjoy…especially the part where I get the satisfaction of helping Lamar shut
down an operation and put these guys behind bars.

“Will I ever have my life back again?” I
asked Lamar. “Will I ever get to return to being Nat Donovan?”

“That’s a sound iffy, Nat. For now, to
keep yourself safe, and to be able to work for us to get this crime ring
completely busted, you would have to be this other person. This is the way for
you to still help Summer out, and still be close enough to her.”

“But not as myself,” I said. “When could
I be myself with her?”

“When we bust this cybercrime ring, and
bring all of them to justice so you, Summer, and Summer’s mother are safe.”

So as fate would have it, this was the
way it would go, and Summer was smart enough to realize it. “Summer,” I said to
myself. “Thank you for letting me go fulfill my destiny.”

Preview
to Free Fall

10
Years Later

Summer

A
Second Ending

I
was 18 when I made the decision to be with Drew at the time, leaving Nat to
fulfill his destiny with his new life and new identity. Little did I know at
age 28, Nat and I would find ourselves together as we were when we were during that
last summer I knew him as Nat. Drew assumed the helm at Donovan Dynamics and has
been an even better CEO than his own father, much to everyone’s surprise. With
that glory and victory came some steep danger and enemies. Now Drew is
missing, and I need Nat to help me find him. Problem is, I don’t know if Drew’s
illness had kicked in or was it truly something else. I don’t know, but I do
know that only Nat can help me find him, and despite the years we’ve been
separated, I could still feel my heart race when I talk to him, I still feel
like that little girl who worshipped the very ground Nat walked on when I think
of him. We are not of an age to truly think about settling down – Drew, Nat,
and I…now I will need to know everything between us.

Summer, Drew, Nat, Rachel, and
Astor’s story continues in

Book 6 of the Loving Summer Series

Free Fall (Loving Summer #6: Donovan
Brothers Series #3)

*****

Find out what happens to Nat as Cooper Sorrento
in a New Series Title to be Announced in
Free Fall

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