Laces and Lace (Assassins #6) (47 page)

How could she tell him she didn’t want kids?

Would it break him? Would he completely throw her away and go find someone who would have babies? He loved her, but was their love strong enough to replace his need for children? She knew how men were; they needed to spread their seed, but Lacey just wasn’t for it. She couldn’t do it.

Snaking his arm around his waist, he put his mouth to her ear. “You okay?”

She nodded. “Fine.”

“She’ll be fine, Karson. Go on now. We need to get to know each other,” Elli said with a bright grin.

Karson laughed. “I know, just checking on her, boss.”

Lacey smiled as his lips met the side of her mouth. “Are you sure?” he whispered.

Taking his jaw in her hand, she met his eyes with hers and did her best to lie. “Yes, everything is fine. Go get some beer.”

He eyed her, and she was sure he could see she was lying. She didn’t even know why she tried. She couldn’t lie to him. Never had been able to. He saw right through her and that made her more than nervous. It terrified her. She guessed he’d decided to wait to interrogate her, and he kissed her softly on her mouth before saying, “All right, sweetheart. Have fun.”

Smiling, she watched as he walked away. His beautiful back muscles flexing with each step he took, his ass that of a god, and those legs carrying him like he was a feather. He was honestly a thing of beauty, one whom she loved and was horrified to lose.

“You two are adorable,” Elli said and Lacey beamed over at her. Elli was a beautiful woman, long auburn hair and green eyes that made Lacey feel at home. She was on the thicker side, but it worked for her. All of the women were beautiful, actually, and it was very intimidating.

“Thank you. We are very happy,” she said as all of them sized her up.

“Good, we want that. Come on, we’ll all have some wine and cheese while we wait for the chicken to finish cookin’,” Elli said, taking Lacey’s arm with hers and leading her through the large home. Lacey wasn’t one for big houses, but the Adler home was flawless and very well lived-in. There were toys everywhere along with hockey equipment and everything that a family would have. It was evident that the home was full of love.

As she was led toward the kitchen, Lacey took in all the pictures of all the children and pictures of Elli and Shea through the years. Their wedding pictures were the ones that stood out the most. She couldn’t wait to get her prints back from their wedding so she could adorn their home with them, but then her chest hurt at the thought of Karson kicking her to the curb before that could happen.

For a split second though, Lacey considered the idea of having a child just so she wouldn’t lose Karson, but then her eyes met a little girl’s eyes in a picture, and she remembered exactly why she didn’t want a child.

“Your daughter?” Lacey asked, stopping and pointing to the little girl. She looked a lot like Shea but had Elli’s green eyes.

“Yes, that’s our sweet girl, Shelli. She’s seven,” she said, pride pouring out of her pores. She then pointed to another picture of all five children. “Then we have Posey, six, the twins, Owen and Evan, are five, and Quinn is two, almost three.”

“Wow, packed house,” Lacey said with a grin as Elli laughed.

“Yup, couldn’t be happier.”

“Will you have more?” she asked as they started toward the kitchen.

Everyone laughed as Elli began shaking her head almost violently. “Hell-to-the-fuck no. I got my tubes tied, and Shea got his stuff snipped. We are fertile as hell, had to take double precautions. I even try to get him to use condoms still, just to be sure,” she said, causing everyone to laugh again and soon Lacey was laughing too. Elli’s laughter was contagious.

“Where are they now?”

“Shea’s parents are in town, so they are all hanging out at his sister’s house since we had this planned before they came in,” she said, pouring Lacey a glass of wine.

“Must be nice to get away.”

“You have no idea. I think it’s easy to say we all love our little bits, but it’s nice to just be us and the guys every once in a while,” she said and everyone nodded in agreement.

“Karson said the Assassins’ average was three kids a couple,” Lacey said and everyone snickered.

“One for me, but that’s not by choice. I haven’t been able to get pregnant,” Audrey said. She was the same size as Lacey, almost the same build too, but the girl was stunning. Lacey couldn’t help but imagine Audrey modeling her pieces and stealing the show. She was curvy but had these brown eyes that were gorgeous with gold flakes floating in them. She was beautiful.

“I’m sorry.”

“We are good with it, I promise. Our little Penny is enough. She is a firecracker.”

“That’s wonderful,” Lacey said, and while Audrey said she was okay with it, she could see the yearning in her eyes.

“I have two,” Piper said, bringing Lacey’s attention to her. She was itty bitty but still so dazzling. It was kind of intimidating how gorgeous all these women were. All of them done up to the nines with big personalities. Just in the ten minutes Lacey had spent with them, she knew they were all very successful and smart. It was kind of mind-blowing. “Dimitri and Katarina.”

“I only have one,” Reese said with a shrug. “But my husband’s niece is basically our daughter too, so I guess, you can say two for me. She’s twenty and engaged, kind of crazy.”

“You could be a grandma,” Elli teased and Reese rolled her eyes.

“Lord, let’s hope not. Poor Jude has been through enough with just Phillip,” she said with a shake of her head, but then she smiled. “Anyway, I think it’s funny that Karson said that, but he’s right. It’s your fault, Elli! Big ol’ family.”

“No, Fallon is right up there with me now!” Elli said back before taking a long pull of her wine. Lacey giggled as Fallon glared at Elli.

“I think it is wrong that everyone is drinking while I sit here. Pregnant.”

“Would you like a block of cheese?” Lacey asked, holding the cheese out to her.

Fallon’s glare deepened. “Did your husband tell you to feed me?”

Lacey paused and then grinned. “He did.”

“Smart man, I always did like him. Thank you,” she said, taking the hunk of cheese and taking a bite of it.

“That’s supposed to be for everyone, Fallon,” Elli scolded but then looked the other way when Fallon shot her a look that could kill. That had everyone trying to hold their laughter in but failing desperately. Elli then turned to Lacey and said, “She’s a really great girl when she isn’t pregnant. Please check back with her in a month or so.”

Lacey giggled as Fallon contentedly ate her cheese. “Will do.”

“This is the last one. I’m done,” Fallon spat out.

“She says that every time,” Audrey added and Lacey smiled.

“I have three already; my oldest is almost a teenager. I’m done.”

“For as angry as you get, let’s all hope so,” Elli said, cheersing her before taking a long sip. Fallon kept glaring, eating her hunk of cheese, and all Lacey could do was giggle. She was a hoot.

With a grin, Elli asked, “Good, so tell us, how are you liking Nashville?”

“I’m adjusting. It’s not that cold and I like that. Also, it’s just beautiful here.”

“That it is. I love my home.”

“It’s kinda crazy,” Piper then said, all the attention going to her. “We still can’t get over it all. Karson’s never been one to date anyone or even be in a relationship, so hearing that y’all got married was huge news.”

“Yeah, it was kind of crazy.” Lacey said with a fond smile. “We were together in college, but then some stuff went down and we broke up. I hadn’t seen him for nearly ten years before last month.”

“Oh my God! That’s insane. And y’all just decided to get married?” Audrey asked.

Lacey smile grew, her heart warming. “We got into the same cab, and that’s all it took. I never stopped loving him, and he never stopped loving me.”

“That’s so romantic,” Audrey swooned as her face flushed with color. “And y’all ran off to Vegas?”

Lacey nodded. “We did. Greatest decision of my life.”

“Aren’t you worried you aren’t the people you were then?” Fallon asked. “I always worried about that with my husband, but we kinda got to know each other. Y’all just did it. No turning back, ya know?”

Everyone went quiet and Lacey chuckled.

If only you knew, lady
, she thought sadly as she shrugged.

“She has diarrhea of the mouth when she’s pregnant,” Audrey apologized and Lacey waved her off.

“I think when you know, you know, and I’ve always loved Karson. He really isn’t that much different. He still makes me laugh and giggle at the silliest things. We have this banter between us that is us, you know? And he’s good to me. Loves me. Unconditionally. I’ve changed a lot through the years, and he still loves me.”

“That’s really wonderful,” Audrey said, and Lacey didn’t miss the look she flashed Fallon.

“He’s a really great guy. We all just adore him to pieces,” Elli said with a grin.

“He is. He went and got the car for me when I went into labor with my son,” Piper said with a grin. “My husband just stood there, completely out of it.”

Everyone giggled and Lacey realized it must have been an inside joke. Then Audrey said, “He’s kept Penny for us plenty of times and even Aiden, Asher, and Stella, right, Fallon?”

“Yup, he’s a great babysitter, loves kids,” Fallon agreed.

“Yeah, he’s gonna make a great daddy. You’re very lucky,” Piper said with a grin.

“Yeah,” Lacey answered, looking down at the rim of her glass before slowly tracing it with her finger. “He makes me really happy.”

Looking up, they all sent her a grin, and Lacey could tell they were all being very sincere. They cared for Karson and that was nice. He had said that this was his family, and in just a little bit of time, it was clear that was true. But what killed her was the fact that they all knew he wanted to be a father. If they knew, then it was obvious it was a big deal to him, and knowing that hurt Lacey to the core.

After a little bit of silence, the conversation came easily for them. As Lacey sat there, they all talked about their kids, their jobs, and then their husbands and the season. She tried to add in at the places she could, but she felt every bit the outsider. She didn’t like feeling like that, but it just seemed like they had known each other their whole lives. She’d assumed they’d met through the guys, but they were almost like sisters.

“How long have y’all been friends?” she found herself asking. “You guys seem like sisters or something.”

They all grinned at each other, and the love was apparent between the five women.

“Audrey and I are sisters, and then Elli and I have been friends for what, ten years?” Fallon asked and Elli nodded.

“Around there. I used to be a photographer, and when I worked the wedding scene, Fallon’s wine was always there. We just clicked as friends.”

“And then we are twins,” Piper said pointing between her and Reese. Lacey didn’t know that. They looked like night and day, but if she did look closely, she could see the resemblance. “And we grew up with Elli. She is like our second big sister.”

“And then the guys brought us closer as friends,” Audrey said with a nod.

“Wow,” Lacey said, feeling a little overwhelmed by it all. If they had been just friends because of the guys, she wouldn’t have felt like such an outsider, but being basically family, she felt like she didn’t belong. It was apparent that these women were extremely close, and Lacey’s hopes of maybe gaining a friend quickly disappeared. It was sad because usually she made friends pretty easily, but really, she wasn’t even trying.

All she could do was think about Karson.

And what he had asked.

And how everyone knew he would be a great father.

As his question swirled in her head at speeds unknown, her heart fell into her stomach and dissolved in the acid. How was she going to tell him? She had never told anyone she didn’t want kids. Never had to. Even with Ethan, he had been the one to tell her he didn’t want kids, and it worked. But with Karson, it was different. She loved him and she didn’t want to disappoint him, and above all, she didn’t want to lose him.

But she just couldn’t bring herself to bring a child into the world.