#Kissing (Rock and Romance #1) (29 page)

Chapter 82

I see stars behind my closed lids and a pair of blue eyes gazing at me, as if asking
what's it going to be, Josephine?

I blink my eyes open in answer.

Jill smiles at me. "Great performance."

"That wasn't an act."

"I know," she says flatly. "You scared the shit out of everyone." The dark rings under her eyes smudge purple and lines worry around her thin mouth.

"Yeah, myself included. Did I bump my head?" I rub it, but there's no throbbing pain. "How'd it go?"

"That was intense. Josie, it's been three days."

"What?" I ask.

"You've been in a coma. Don't worry, I haven't left your side even though the doctor said you'd probably be fine because you happened to already be in the hospital. Lucky for us," she says dryly.

"I'm glad you feel appropriately guilty."

A nurse comes in, interrupting our conversation, followed by a doctor and a whole lot of bother, as they make sure I'm actually ok.

I am, and I will be. I won't ever miss my medicine again, by accident or on purpose.

Eventually Jill returns with coffee, looking like she could use a caffeine transfusion. When she sits down, I ask, "More than anything, I want to know what happened so I can move on with my life."

She claps her hands against her thighs. "Where to begin? Niko is in rehab. Selfishly I hope he stays off drugs, but doesn't stop drinking, we've written our best songs on whisky." She laughs. I don't. "Um, Mitty's gay."

"Duh, I knew that. What about Kat?"

"Funny thing, Berutha has been deported." She wears a smug smile.

"What?"

"Yep. She had a—what do they call them? A rap sheet? Ironic that she got involved in rock and roll, it being high profile and all. Slade had been having documents forged to keep her in the country. They were involved in some kind of porn drug ring and other stuff too. I don't even know. Dude, I love rock and roll, but that's taking things too far."

"No surprise though."

"Before she was taken away by the police," Jill wiggles her fingers, "I helped myself to the contents of her bag." She holds up Kat's rhinestone emblazoned phone. "Unless she's cleverer than I give her credit for and didn't back anything up, everything we need to erase the video and obliterate the evidence of Niko's bad decision making is right here. Accounts, logins, etcetera. I figured I'd wait for you to do the honors."

"My friend, Penny, she's a tech wiz, she could probably figure it out."

"Yeah, we spoke."

"What?"

"I called the most recent person you talked to in your contacts."

"Why?"

"You're in the hospital. I had to contact someone."

I fuss with the IV in my hand.

She passes me Kat's phone. "All you have to do is press delete."

The phone is a loaded weapon in my hand. "Checkmate," I say. I press the button and then squeeze my eyes shut. "Is it over?" I ask.

"The Kat shit show is never over. But free Halos tickets for life for you."

"I'm good. I'll just stick to listening to the albums."

I check to make sure the video is no longer on YouTube, wipe the rest of the phone clean.

"Thanks for doing more than I should have asked of you," Jill says.

"Yeah, I have a proven track record of not taking my medicine. Never again, even if I have to have a reminder tattooed on my skin."

"You really terrified me," she says.

"Good, glad to know I still got my swagger, but I'm glad you got involved."

"Don't tell anyone," she says with a grin.

Chapter 83

When the doctor gives me the ok to leave, I stand tall, the burden of responsibility for Niko replaced with the knowledge that for once I didn't run. I did something crazy, but that's to be expected. What matters is that I faced my problems and followed through.

When I get back to Cranville, I won't react to things like a petulant child. I'll think first, respond thoughtfully and carefully. I was lost, but finally, I found myself. Perhaps I'll get a job in town, maybe at the coffee shop. I'll continue to apply to music schools, go running, become a better friend, and maybe even a better daughter. But it'll be on my terms and with complete honesty.

The warm desert sun momentarily blinds me when I exit the hospital. I blink a few times, letting my eyes adjust when I spot a familiar figure leaning against a pillar.

We meet in front of the line of cabs.

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

JQ's lips don't lift in a smile, but he's not frowning either. I courageously meet his eyes and in them, is the sparkle of hope I saw in his mother's.

He glances up at the hospital. "The better question is what are you doing here?"

"It was a crooked journey, but I came to collect myself."

"Las Vegas seems more like a place people come to forget." He bites his lip. Damn, those lips.

"Did Penny tell you?" I ask.

"She told me a lot of things," he nods knowingly, "But mainly that I shouldn't give up on you. And I won't. You asked me for an hour. You've got it. Let's go get something to eat."

We get into the cab. The driver asks, "Where to?"

"Take us somewhere we'll never forget," I say.

In less than ten minutes, he drops us off in front of the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino.

"Not exactly what I had in mind," I mutter at the reminder of rock and roll.

JQ and I have never had an awkward conversation, but we're unusually silent until our food arrives. I stuff my face with a diabetic-friendly breakfast of an egg scramble with veggies.

I can't think of anything to say other than,
I love you, I love you, I love you
. Then, like the mantra about owning the video and my life, the words translate into
I love me, I love me, I love me
.

I enter some info into my glucose-monitoring app.

JQ's sad blue eyes linger on me, his fries, hardly touched.

I steal one. Just one.

He lifts an eyebrow and bites his lip.

"What? I'm still hungry." I say, mock defensively.

Finally, I get a smile. "Yeah, me too."

"But you hardly ate. You should have ordered pie." I smirk, but he doesn't.

He's still quiet, but I tell myself he has little reason to say anything to me after what I did. However, he did say he'd give me an hour. I'm done with extremes, and living so recklessly and loudly. The scare of being in a coma, forced into silence and stillness, for the last three days was a wakeup call.

I slurp the rest of my milkshake and clear my throat. "JQ, I've always been someone for everybody else. The honor student and high achiever for my mother. The perfect daughter for my father. The hot girlfriend, whatever. I need to be me, for me."

I glance down at my wrist, twist the green thread, a reminder of the past and connecting me to a better future, and continue, "I made more than a few mistakes, and I apologize. I hope someday you'll forgive me. For some people life works in contrasts. I had to weed through all the things I didn't want to get to the rich soil, the good stuff that'll help me grow and flourish. I'm sorry I made everything muddy to get there. But for what it's worth, I want you in my life, even if we're just friends." I hold up my hands. "No, no. That's asking too much. Even if you don't hate me, I can live with that."

No sense of recognition flickers across his face. He's as still as a statue.

I close my eyes and search inside for the right words. "I was afraid to be close, to take responsibility, to give up the freedom I thought I had living the rock and roll dream. I was wrong. Freedom comes from honesty and love."

I open my eyes and meet his: they're soft and comfortable like listening to a favorite song.

I continue, "I'm ready to trade in everything from the last few years: the brush with fame, the partying, the craziness, and the bad decision making. All of it for a quiet, regular life. I want to study music, maybe be a teacher. I envision a house with a wraparound porch, a dog, and kids someday." With you. I sigh.

The server brings us our check, JQ pays, even though I insist since he didn't really eat. I'm not sure if my hour is up, but we wander into the frenetic buzz of the casino.

"Didn't expect to do this here," he says, halting in a sea of people.

"Huh?" I ask.

He takes my hands in his and gets down on one knee. From his pocket, he produces a small box. He unhinges it to reveal a ring. The diamond glitters in the Technicolor lighting of the casino room.

Before he speaks, I say, "Jesse Quaid, what are you doing?"

"Being a little crazy."

"That's not what I meant. I wasn't implying that you should change—"

"Sometimes we have to take risks, the right kind, for the people we love. I bought this last month, figuring I'd save it until after graduation, but it's been burning a hole in my heart." His eyes mist. "Josephine Brigitte Speedwell, you are the meteor in my sky. You are the light in my dreams. You are every star that's ever been and will ever be. Will you marry me?"

A
yes
is on my tongue, but instead I giggle with disbelief. "This is crazy. You're still in college. I'm a wreck in progress."

He laughs.

A group gathers around us, smiling and whispering. Someone holds up a phone. Seriously, is my life destined to be on film?

#MarriageProposal

JQ squeezes my hand. "No, what's crazy is me loving you since I was, like, ten. Maybe I didn't know it then, but in all the years since, my best memories are of you and me. They keep me up at night, they make me laugh, smile, and feel in ways I can hardly describe."

"You can't ride in like a knight in shining armor and rescue me."

"No, that's not what this is. Anyway, only you can truly save yourself, but I can love you. I can support you. I can hold up a mirror so you see the beauty of who you are before you were told who you should be. I've always loved you, and if I didn't try to make it so for the next nine or ninety years I can fill my head with new memories to keep me up at night, I'll go crazy."

Our eyes meet. The chatter, the dinging of the slot machines and the music pumping through the building fades. It's just us. It's always been just us.

"I gave you an hour. Now all I ask is that you give me an answer. Josephine, will you marry me?"

I pull him to his feet and with tears in my eyes say, "Yes, yes, yes!"

A hotel employee points toward a corridor. "The chapel is that way. Elvis is presiding today."

JQ and I swap wild smiles. I nod. "It would be wrong if I didn't stay wild."

He nods. "Let's do it."

The ceremony is surprisingly formal, minus the officiant. When Elvis asks us to share our vows, I improvise, saying, "I'll be true to Jesse and myself for as long as I shall live."

He says, "I'll love you forever and always."

Then at the same time we say, "I do."

I toss the bouquet, and instead of applause or the wedding march, Journey's
Faithfully
—our song—comes through the speakers. "I asked if they could play it when you went to fresh up."

We both laugh between kisses.

"Should we get a room?" JQ asks, biting his lip.

Chapter 84

We kiss at the concierge. We kiss in the elevator. We kiss in the hall.

I toss his jacket on the floor. He pulls my shirt over my head.

JQ's lips quirk as he surveys my curves. "It's been too long," he says haltingly. "I want you. I never stopped wanting you."

"Then you can have me," I say. "All of me."

With practiced fingers, he unhooks my bra, the straps slipping down my shoulders before drawing my bare chest against his. It's skin on hot skin.

"You're all mine, and I am yours," he says, crouching and kissing my chest.

I rub my hands through his hair, down his neck, and along his muscled shoulders, gripping his firm biceps. I'm already smoldering. The bloom of desire radiates between my thighs.

I draw him back to standing, and he unbuttons my jeans before stripping me to my underwear. He takes off his pants and his dick springs toward me. I stroke it lovingly before putting my fingers in my mouth and tasting him. My pulse quickens as he pushes me onto the bed, and slides my panties off, never breaking eye contact. He kneels between my legs, his strong body steady above me. Damn, he's sexy.

"I missed you," he says as he kisses each of my thighs before rubbing his thumb against my clit and then sliding a finger deeper. "I missed your eyes, your mouth, your tits, and your pussy. I missed everything," he whispers.

"You're so hard," I say, gripping the evidence of his missing me in my hand.

"You're wet," he responds.

"Very wet," I say, getting to my knees to meet him, and pulling him close. He slides his finger back in and then another. I rock against his hand, desperate for him to fill me.

His mouth finds mine, and we kiss as he caresses my pussy, and I rub a firm hand down the length of his shaft.

He lowers me onto my back and trades his fingers for his mouth. He licks and flicks the curves and folds of my pussy with his tongue until my legs are shaking.

"I want you now," I grind out, unable to take it any longer. The heat and ache  threatens to rip me in two. I roll him over and climb on top of his throbbing cock. I quiver as he enters. I rock on top of him as he presses into me. He takes my ankles in his hands and pulls them toward his shoulders. This plunges him deeper, and I let loose moan after moan.

I'm panting, and he's breathing heavy and I want more, more, more. He flips me over, hooking my legs around his waist, grips my hips, and thrust and rocks in and out, in and out. His eyes are open, loving, and tender.

"This feels so good," he grunts, raking his hands over my chest as we melt together. "I love you," he whispers, lowering down and kissing me softly.

"I love you," I say, feeling the full meaning behind the words and the full feeling behind making love.

Pressed together, I tilt my hips up and, we continue to move together in rhythm. The tingling in my core intensifies and blazes. The passion preceding an orgasm ripples through me.

"I'm close," he whispers.

"Me too."

"Let's come together." He slows as though waiting for me.

When our lips meet, I'm sent over the edge, and I explode into a million glittering stars. I feel the power of his throbbing dick as he shudders and slackens.

He rolls behind, lengthening against my body, pulling me close. His cock presses against my pussy as the slow drip of his cum slides down my leg. I could stay like this forever. He sighs contentedly.

I nuzzle closer, our bodies fitting together perfectly, and my eyes drift closed.

In the middle of the night, we wake up and make love again.

"Mrs. Quaid?" he says, testing out my new name. He smiles. "Do you like the way that sounds as much as I do?"

"We're married," I say, not quite believing it myself.

"We don't have to tell anyone. We can have a regular ceremony and reception and this will be ours. We can do whatever we want."

"I'd hate to upset your parents, and I'm going to be honest from now on. No secrets or subterfuge."

"They knew about the ring and they have four other weddings to plan someday. I'm sure they'll actually be relieved ours was small."

"We should still have a party though."

"Whatever my missus wants."

I blink through a blur of happy tears and melt into his blue eyes as he kisses my cheeks.

"Are you ok?" he asks.

"Better than ok," I answer, relieved this is true. "Better than fine and good."

"Well, where should we go on our honeymoon?"

"Let's go home," I say.

We shower and put our clothes back on, deciding we'll figure out the details on the way to the airport. I want nothing more than to sit in the Quaid's living room by the Christmas tree and fire. Or in Penny's apartment, or JQ's dorm and just be. At least until a day or two from now when I finish applying to schools. I'm ready to leave the mayhem behind, but not the music.

"What are you thinking about?" I ask when we exit the elevator to the lobby.

"How we're married, and how I want to make sure I always listen to you and give you the best of everything that I can."

"Happily married…" I say, finally allowing that feeling for myself and ready for this new life together.

I take JQ's hand, and we step into the new day and watch the sun kissing the horizon awake.