Killing Me Softly (27 page)

‘Been keeping an eye on her, have you?’ Cat’s voice was quiet, yet even after the tumultuous day she’d been through and a three-hour session with Doctor Carlton, he could still see the spirit in her eyes. He admired that in her, just as he admired the same quality in her sister.

Smiling, he nodded at the view, the setting sun touching the land with golden fingers whilst giant shadows were beginning their romp across field and hill towards night. ‘Not really. Just enjoying the day.’

She snorted. ‘Pull the other one. You light up whenever you see her. Your eyes follow her around. Even I noticed it.’

He turned and looked at her closely, amused by the self-deprecating tone. Her skin was pale, fragile and nearly translucent; he could see the fine bone of brow, cheek and jaw beneath. Dark circles below her eyes were testament to the difficult day she’d had but the eyes themselves held none of the bitterness or confusion of her awakening. Doctor Carlton had obviously been able to work some kind of magic on her. She still sounded very much like an eighteen-year-old girl though.

‘You’re very perceptive.’

She shrugged. ‘Always was, particularly when it comes to reading people.’ She turned to him, her gaze appraising him in a frank manner that made him smile. ‘She loves you.’

Daemon held her stare. ‘I’m not sure she does right now. But I’m working on it.’

Cat’s eyes flickered briefly to the stable and then back to him. ‘Don’t give up. Don’t let her give up either. She needs you. She needs you more than she knows.’ Her eyes stared into his, a stormy green-grey that captured him, making it impossible to look away. ‘She needs you,’ she repeated. ‘Don’t let her down.’

She blinked and the spell broke. Smiling coyly, she said, ‘You’re cuter than I remember.’

‘What?’

‘I remember seeing your first music video and thinking you were pretty cute then. You look even better now. Not that I’m interested in a sexual way. It’s obvious you’re into Lexi.’

‘What?’ he choked again, unable to comprehend the rapid change of topic.

‘Billy tells me you and Craig are famous now. That must be pretty cool.’ Her hands played with the wooden button of her cardigan.

Baffled, Daemon tried to catch up. ‘It’s okay.’

She looked up at him as if he were mad. ‘Are you crazy? It must be great with all the money and the fans, the travelling and people doing whatever you want them to do. Not to mention doing exactly what you want whenever you want. I’d love that!’

His lips twitched at her naïve view of his world. ‘It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. You have to give up an awful lot. No-one ever talks about that side of fame.’

She shrugged. ‘Probably because no-one’s interested in hearing a bunch of rich and famous people bitch about how much they don’t have.’

He laughed at her candid assessment. ‘You’re probably right.’

She nodded. ‘I know I am.’ Her eyes flicked over him again, taking his measure, amusing him with the frank appreciation in her eyes. She was nothing like her twin – far more open and playful. ‘Smart and cute as well as rich and famous. Lexi’s pretty lucky.’

‘Alexia’s done pretty well for herself,’ he said gesturing around them. ‘I think I’m the lucky one.’

‘I think so, too.’ Her voice was quiet, the playfulness gone as she looked up at him, squinting slightly as the setting sun caught the side of her face with a bright ray of light. For a moment she seemed to glow. He was reminded of seeing Alexia lit up in a similar way and realised he’d been wrong in his appraisal. The sisters were alike in spite of Cat’s terrible scars and the plastic surgery she’d had to repair her battered face. They shared an outward fragility to their looks that warred with the stubbornness of one and the playfulness of the other.

He wondered whether Cat would lose that youthful resilience with the return of her memories and become more world-weary, protective and insular like her sister. He hoped not. He hoped Doctor Carlton could help her retain that youthful naiveté despite what she’d been through. One sister losing her youth to tragedy and worry was enough.

Out of the corner of his eye he caught movement. As one they turned to watch Alexia walk out of the stable and towards the house. He could see by the way she held herself she’d managed to put her worries aside. The moment she caught sight of them standing on the steps, her posture, so relaxed after her afternoon ride, changed.

Lexi trudged wearily up the stairs, wishing she could put this confrontation off until later. Facing them she squared her shoulders, looking from one to the other, not certain how to read their faces. They seemed to be enjoying each other’s company. She was relieved to see Cat looked relaxed, happy.

‘I see you’ve finished with Doctor Carlton.’

Cat shrugged, the gesture reminding Lexi of times long past. Long past for her but only yesterday for her sister.

‘For today. He’s staying here for a few days. He said he’d see how we were getting along before he decided what we’d do next.’

Lexi nodded. ‘Good. Whatever he thinks is best.’ The pause felt awkward for all of them.

‘Can we go for a walk? There are a few things I’d like to say and I don’t want to be interrupted. You don’t mind, do you, Daemon?’

‘Not at all.’ He leaned over, kissed Lexi on the mouth, his lips soft, lingering.

She stiffened and pulled away. ‘What do you think you’re doing?’

‘Giving you something to think about for later.’

Before she could respond, he turned and sauntered down to the studio, leaving her gaping after him.

‘Whatever he did to make you angry, forgive him. He’s worth it.’

Lexi turned to her sister, but Cat flashed her a smile and said, ‘I’d like to walk down to the walled garden. I like it there. It will be easier to talk.’

‘Sounds good,’ Lexi managed to say before Cat took off so fast that Lexi had to run to catch up.

They walked in silence until they reached the arched entry, the crumbling stone walls covered in ivy.

‘This is beautiful.’

‘I know. This garden is one of the reasons I bought this place. It reminded me of that book we used to read.’

‘The Secret Garden.’

She nodded. ‘When I walk here it’s easy to remember happier times.’

She led them down a path between a tangle of bushes and trees and over to a sunken fountain.

‘Lexi . . . ’

‘What do you. . .?’

They spoke at the same time, gestured for the other to continue. Seeing the mirror image, the one that had been missing for so many years, Lexi began to laugh. Cat’s deep laugh joined hers then was cut off when Lexi grabbed her into a hug.

‘God, I’ve missed this. I’ve missed you.’

‘Yeah, well, I still think you’re a pain in the arse.’ The warmth of Cat’s tone belied the words, as did the way she returned the hug. ‘I’m sorry for what I said this morning, Lexi. I was so shocked. There was too much to take in and I could feel your guilt as if it was mine. It was so strong it felt true.’ She leaned back and took her sister’s face between her hand. ‘You know it isn’t, though, don’t you? I was just so angry and you were already taking all the blame so I let you. I’m sorry I hurt you.’

Lexi made a choking sound as she tried to hold back the tears. ‘No, I’m the one who’s sorry. You suffered once again because I —’

‘Stop.’ Cat shook her. ‘Nothing that happened was your fault. You have to stop blaming yourself. From what Doctor Carlton told me today, you’ve carried the burden too long.’

Lexi frowned. ‘He had no business telling you about me. He’s here to help you.’

Cat smiled. ‘I asked. You didn’t tell me everything this morning. I think maybe you suffered more than I did.’

Lexi shook her head. ‘No, my suffering was nothing compared to yours. Yet look at you now. You are so strong.’

Cat shook her head, her eyes clouded. ‘No, I’m not. I retreated from what happened. You stayed . . . You dealt with everything alone. I can’t imagine what that took. I don’t think I could have done the same if our places had been reversed.’

‘No, you’re wrong.’ Lexi gripped Cat’s hand. ‘I only did what I had to, as did you. After what he did to you . . . ’ She broke off, closing her eyes against the memories of the days her sister was missing.

She felt Cat’s hand touch her face and opened her eyes to see her sister looking at her with such concern it caused an ache.

‘You felt it, didn’t you? What he did to me?’

Lexi stepped back as if reeling from a blow. ‘No,’ she said quickly. Then seeing Cat’s expression, she realised she couldn’t lie to her twin. Not now. Not ever. Certainly not about this. ‘I try not to think about it. But yes, I felt your terror.’ She closed her eyes, trying to hold back the tears. ‘You’ve no idea what is was like to know something horrible was happening to you and not be able to do a thing to stop it.’

‘There was nothing you could have done. It wasn’t as if you could see into my mind. Our bond isn’t psychic. Just feelings. And a knowing.’

Lexi bit her lip, pulling herself together piece by slow piece.

‘I know you never gave up on me.’ Cat gripped Lexi’s hand tightly in hers. ‘I don’t want to remember,’ she whispered harshly. ‘But I need to know why I repressed myself the way I did. If you know anything that might help, you can’t hide that from me. You can’t . . . ’ She paused, her gaze fixed on Lexi’s for a long moment and then let go her death grip on her sister’s hand. ‘I don’t want to get lost again.’

‘I’ll help. In any way I can.’

Cat smiled then, reaching forward, ran a finger down Lexi’s cheek. ‘Perfect.’ She touched her own scarred cheek and frowned. For a moment she looked lost in thought, but then she lifted her face to the sky and sighed. ‘I’ve got a lot of catching up to do.’ She smiled softly. ‘I need you to help me.’

Tears spilled down Lexi’s face. ‘I can’t believe I’ve been such an idiot. I thought you’d never forgive me. I was so worried about what I was going to say to try to make you listen that I forgot you were always the reasonable one. You always settled the arguments, always saw both sides, were always loving and caring and fair. Why I thought you would have changed so fundamentally I don’t know. I guess I thought you’d be scarred from this like . . . ’ She stopped, not wanting to admit how much she’d allowed herself to be changed over the years.

‘Like you,’ Cat finished for her softly.

The eyes looking into Lexi’s were gentle and caring and she couldn’t lie whilst looking into them. ‘Yes. Like me. I’ve changed so much I almost don’t recognise myself.’

Cat gave her hand a squeeze. ‘Let’s find ourselves together.’

Lexi returned her smile and squeezed back. ‘I think that would be wonderful.’

They hugged again and then Cat leaned back, her lips twitching in a mischievous grin. ‘First though, I want to hear all about that hunk of a man you’re involved with.’

Lexi slapped her sister’s arm playfully. ‘Cat . . . ’

‘I know you’re angry with him, but you’ll make it up, won’t you? You’d be a fool not to with the way he looks at you. I thought I was going to combust, and he wasn’t even aiming those gorgeous blue eyes at me.’

‘Cat!’

‘I want to know how you got together.’

‘We’re not together.’

‘Don’t tell me you’ve already broken up with him? I mean, he kissed you.’

‘We’re not . . . He just . . . It wasn’t anything serious.’ Lexi shrugged. ‘He can’t stay here and I can’t go.’

‘Why not?’

‘My life and work is here. His is out there.’

Cat looked at her incredulously and, for the first time, Lexi realised how stupid that sounded.

‘I don’t really want to talk about Daemon right now.’

‘If he was mine, I’d want to talk about him all the time.’ Cat tried to look serious but her lips twitched. ‘Has he, you know . . . given you the big “O”?’

‘Catriona!’

‘No, really. Has he?’

‘I’m not telling you that!’

‘Why not?’ she pouted.

‘It’s none of your business.’ Despite her words, she couldn’t help laughing at the turn the conversation had taken. She had missed this closeness. Until now, she hadn’t realised how much.

Cat screwed her face up, pleading. ‘Oh come on. Don’t be a spoilsport. I’ve missed out on heaps. The least you could do is let me live vicariously through you . . . ’ she choked on the last word, her breath coming in a big, shuddering sob.

‘Cat?’

Cat pushed away from the fountain she’d been leaning on.

‘Is this about Billy?’

Cat stopped, hands clenched, biting her lip. ‘No.’

‘Cat.’ Lexi put her hand on her sister’s shoulder. It was far easier to talk about Cat’s problems than her own. ‘I knew how you felt about Billy, even though you didn’t tell me.’ She chuckled. ‘Your feelings were so strong, it caused some confusion in me for a while.’

Cat didn’t turn, but when she spoke her voice was raw, full of the questions troubling her heart. ‘I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but he was like a brother to us. I thought you’d think I was stupid. I thought you’d say I was trying to ruin everything.’

‘I would never have said that. Never.’

Cat finally turned to face her, sighing. ‘To me, the realisation of how I felt feels like yesterday. For so long we were just friends and then things changed.’ She looked down, kicked at the ground. ‘He asked me out and I said yes. I think I must have been on my way to meet him when I was attacked.’ She shrugged. ‘I can’t remember.’

Lexi sighed. ‘You were.’ She noted her sister’s surprised look. ‘I was the one who told him to ask you out. I knew he felt the way you did. When you didn’t show, he blamed me for making an idiot out of him. For years afterwards, he carried those words around with him, along with the guilt of not picking you up from home like he wanted.’

‘Oh, but it wasn’t his fault! I wouldn’t let him pick me up because I was confused about how I felt and afraid you would find out.’ She began to laugh. ‘What an idiot! You already knew. I should have known you would.’ The laugh died on her lips. ‘Oh, Lexi. If I hadn’t been so stupid, maybe none of this would have happened.’

‘Don’t think like that.’ She grasped Cat’s hands again. ‘You couldn’t know. None of us could have known what was going to happen.’