Kicking Eternity (26 page)

Cal’s gaze locked onto her.

“Raine’s confused.” Aly cupped her hand to shade her eyes. “Is it so hard to imagine people care about you?”

“Like Jesse cared about me, kicking me out of camp at the first
offense
.”

“I thought you didn’t want to talk about it.”

“If you came out here to fight with me—”

“I came to see if you’re okay.”

His eyes were bloodshot. Was it from the salt water or had he been drinking and smoking weed for two days straight?

“I’m fine. I lost my job. Raine. I’ve got squat. Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Give Raine credit. She’s not giving up on you because of one incident. I told her there’s nothing between us.” She reached for his forearm.

He looked at her hand on his arm, then up at her eyes.

“I’m on your side.”

Cal pulled his arm out of her grip. “Big of you since you should have gotten canned, too.”

She folded her arms over her stomach where it felt like he kicked her. She
bounced
in the waves, vacillating between surfing for shore and trying to reach Cal.

“I told Jesse I was smoking with you.”

Cal narrowed his eyes at her.

“He said nobody caught me, not to let it happen again. Do you want me to quit to prove I support you? Is that what you want?”

“I want… I want you to leave me alone.”

Why didn’t he just slap her across the face to make sure she stayed away? It didn’t matter. That’s what she felt like anyway.

“I’ll leave you alone…
if
you’ll promise me you won’t do anything to hurt yourself.”

He stared at her like she’d insulted him. She could feel the sun scorching her shoulders. She’d forgotten to put on sunscreen. Water lapped against her board and her knees.

“I won’t hurt myself.”

She thought of the kid in the class between hers and Cal’s who’d died from a bad batch of Special K. “Jeremy—”

“I won’t O.D.”

She held his eyes another moment. She turned and paddled away. Hard.

What she needed right now was a perfect wave to save her dignity. She’d paddle into the curl, snap her feet under her, grip the board with her toes. She could almost feel the wind whistling through her wet hair. She’d nose the board toward shore the way Cal had taught her, knees bent, feet staggered,
arms airplaning over the water.

If it weren’t for her stupid sprained ankle.

#

Raine pushed
open
the screen door into the infirmary. She scanned the glass cupboards that held the medicines looking for ibuprofen. She tried the cupboard. Locked. How long till the nurse would be back from lunch?

She sank down onto a metal folding chair. Her phone vibrated in her pocket. A text from Eddie. She set her phone on the chair beside her, took a deep breath, and picked it up.

In danger. Need $50 to buy time. Tape to bottom of camp sign before dark. Will pay back.

The words throbbed in her skull. What kind of danger—from a drug dealer or a loan shark? Was he on the run from the police? Was he in danger of missing his next fix?

He’d never paid her back yet. What if she didn’t give him the money and he turned up dead? Could she live with that the rest of her life?

She stared at the medicine cabinets. It would be so easy for Eddie to break in and steal the drugs he needed to cook meth. She was so tired of fearing what Eddie would do next. She leaned her head back against the wall and closed her eyes. Nausea settled into her stomach.

Her mind slipped from Eddie to Cal. They were so much alike, using drugs to deal with life. Her anger at Cal had cooled, and she poked around inside looking for her feelings for him. But she felt nothing. After all this time, had God answered her prayer?

She rubbed her temples. Were love and Africa mutually exclusive? Maybe Cal would learn from this experience and fully connect with God. Yeah
, and
Eddie would check into rehab.

She closed her eyes.
Lord, do Y
ou have someone
for me to marry?

The screen door squeaked and Raine’s ey
es flew open as Drew walked in.

“What are you doing here?”

Had she fallen asleep?
“Asking God who I’m supposed to marry.” Had she actually said that out loud? She stared at her toes in her new flip-flops with the pink flowers on them. Why wasn’t Drew saying anything? She looked up at him.

He winked. “Put me on that list! Me wantum girl with strong arms. Do much work. Girl with cute feet okay, too.”

Something warm shot through her, making her head pulse harder. Was he ever serious? She held her head in her hands. “Don’t make me laugh. It hurts.”

Drew sat down next to her. “I can make it better.”

He leaned toward her. Was he going to kiss her? He smiled like he could read her mind and bent to pick up the first aid box at his feet. He smelled like sunshine. 

He opened the box and shook two ibuprofen tablets into her palm. “I came by to restock my first aid kit before dodge ball.”

He ran water from the sink into a Dixie cup and handed it to her. “Where does it hurt?”

“Everywhere.”

He laid his hands on her head. “Lord, one of Your names is Physician. Would you take Rainey’s pain away—the pain in her head and the pain in her heart?”

He rubbed her temples with his thumbs till her scalp felt warm and the pain faded a bit. His fingertips kneaded the muscles in the back of her neck. All the tension eased out of her body.

She settled her head back against the wall. If she was still, it didn’t hurt. “Thanks,” she whispered.

Drew tugged her hand. “Keep your eyes closed, you can lie on a cot till you feel better. I’ll tell the nurse you’re in here.”

He led her into the next room, the pain resurrecting and banging around in her head with each movement. He guided her by the shoulders to the edge of the bunk. The
wire webbing
groaned when she sat down, and the metal frame
felt
cold on the backs of her legs. Drew’s hands pressed her down till her head rested in the haven of a pillow that smelled like Bounce. She curled her legs on the blanket under her and sighed.

Pain hovered a millimeter from her skull, waiting for her to move. She could feel her flip-flops being slid off her feet and, a minute later, a feather-light blanket settling over her body. This is what it would feel like to be loved by Drew. Why did he have to tease about something as serious as marriage? What seemed like a long time later, Drew’s footsteps moved across the room.

The key turned in the medicine cabinet in the next room. Her mind followed the click-click-click of a child-proof bottle being unscrewed, rustling plastic, the snap of the first aid box shutting.
The last thing she remembered was the
soft latch
of the door as it closed.

Aly plodded through the soft sand
,
limping slightly as she lugged her board under one arm. She hoped Cal wasn’t watching. Did God care about salvaging her dignity after Cal blew her off? Raine would say so, she was sure. She glanced over her shoulder
.

Cal paddled
to catch a wave.

He
was in God’s hands now. Had she thought of God? Man, she was, like, channeling Raine. It wasn’t so much that she doubted God existed. Last count, she’d been to mass seven hundred and sixty eight times including weddings, funerals, and an odd Ash Wednesday service. But she’d long ago maxed out her sin allotment credit card.

Maybe she could start making payments—quit sex. No time like the present. She was single. And the only guy to tempt her was Cal. And he was over her. Totally.

#

Drew stood beside Raine
y
where she lay on the infirmary cot. Her lips parted
slightly,
and she was probably asleep already. She trusted him—enough to relax under his touch. That knowledge knifed its way into his gut. Her trust was a gift.

Touching Raine
y
was a stolen pleasure. No doubt, the headache was brought on by her concern for Cal. But at least he’d eased her pain and tension a little. There was a job he’d like for the rest of his life.

God?

Her dark hair spread across the pillow reminded him of the dream. And now he knew its silkiness, its flowery scent. The sleeve of her yellow blouse—the shirt from Cal’s portrait—peeked from under the flannel sheet. He turned away. 

#

Raine woke slowly in the late afternoon sun spilling through the partially open window. The emptiness of the institutional beige room seemed to climb inside her. Drew’s touch lingered, but he must have left the infirmary hours ago. Birds twittered in the coconut palms. She could see the fronds dance without moving her head.

She creaked into a sitting position. No pain.

Thank You.

Eddie’s text slithered back into her mind. She hated Eddie’s demands. He expected her to give him money whenever he asked. What was the alternative? Have Eddie cut off all relationship with her? Let whatever danger loomed over him, happen? She sighed with her whole body.

At five-thirty she crouched behind a bush within sight of the camp sign. Her hurried dinner sat like a stone in her stomach. She had to try to talk Eddie into rehab.

Please, God, let Eddie show by six.
Drew
expected
her at campfire.

She heard the scuff of tennis shoes against the sandy dirt before she saw Eddie. He bent down to tie his shoe and peered furtively at the underside of the sign. He yanked the envelope from its hiding place and buried it in his pocket in one motion. He stood and strode toward the road.

“Wait! Eddie, it’s me.”

His eyes scanned the woods behind her, and then jumped back to her.

“I wanted to say I’m sorry—for last time I saw you.”

“Did you give me the money?”

She nodded. “I’m begging you. Think about Teen Challenge.”

“I read the brochure.”

“You did?”

He almost smiled. “You’ve slipped me, what, ten of them by now?”

“I’ve studied meth addiction. You can’t get off by yourself.”

“I’m not wasting thirteen months of my life in that hole. I’m doing better. Really.”

“If you keep using, you’re going to end up in jail. Doesn’t getting beat up or raped scare you?”

“Look, I’m not some wussy teenager.”

She stepped close to him on the sparse grass between the camp sign and the road. “I don’t want you to get hurt. I love you.”

“You’re the only one.” He threw a bony arm over her shoulder and hugged her. “I love you, too.”

She pulled away, her fingers still on his ribs, to look at his face.

“Don’t worry. I can take care of myself.”

She searched his eyes. He obviously believed it. If only she could.

#

Raine spit toothpaste into the sink. Even though she didn’t know what she felt for Cal, she wondered what he thought about her. If Cal was so in love with her, why hadn’t he called since he got kicked out of camp?

Aly stepped out of the shower tying the belt to her robe, her hair turbaned in a towel.

“Have you heard from Cal since he left camp?”

Aly stopped mid-stride.

“You have, haven’t you?”

Aly slumped down onto the wooden bench under the window. Her eyes darted to Raine’s in the mirror and away.

She turned around to face Aly.

Aly looked up at her. “I was so worried. You know, Cal’s not the most stable guy—”

“You’re afraid he’s suicidal?”

Aly shrugged. “Well, he’s not.” She looked down at her feet that were turned in, big toes touching. “I didn’t want to tell you I went looking for him because I didn’t want you to think I was going after him. I wasn’t. I swear I wasn’t. I had to make sure he was okay.”

“And?”

“And he was unpleasant—ticked at Jesse for firing him, ticked at me for hunting him down.”

“Where?”

“At his favorite surfing spot.
Bethune Beach
.”

“Has he been suicidal before?”

“No.” Aly rubbed her hair dry with the towel. “There’s something—I don’t know—brittle about Cal.”

She screwed the lid onto the toothpaste. She hadn’t known Cal enough to be worried. Just mad.

Aly looked at her with pleading eyes. “You and I, like, totally bonded. I would have told you, but I didn’t want to screw it up.” Her words came out in a rush.