Kicking Eternity (27 page)

She sat on the bench beside Aly. “It’s okay. The pot did a number on my crush. That’s how Eddie got started. I can’t— I can’t go there again.”

“Then you’re not mad?”

“If Cal loved me, don’t you think he would have called by now? It’s been a week since he got fired.”

“Give him some time to sort through things.”

She reached for Aly’s hand. “I know you love Cal. You told me the other night when you were high. It’s okay if you want to go after him.”

“He—he loves you.”

#

Raine looked at the array of exquisitely wrapped gifts, the cakes and cookies that lined the bench on the dining hall porch. Each item was labeled, “Happy Birthday
,
Drew.” Why hadn’t Drew told her it was his birthday this morning on the beach?

With the nail of her pinky, she lifted the flap of one label. “With love, from Celeste.” She pulled her finger away, feeling like a spy. The sticker on the chocolate chip cookies said they were from Roni, the chocolate cake from Kayla, the vanilla from Jasmine. There must have been a dozen gifts and sweets.

Who were these women? What right did they have to shower Drew with gifts? He was
her
friend. Some emotion she couldn’t name churned under her ribcage.

#

As the sun sank toward the treetops, Raine jumped off the seawall and landed with both feet in the sand. Drew didn’t see her. His sandy head bent over the fire pit as he touched a match to the kindling.

“Why didn’t you tell me it was your birthday?”

Drew looked up at her, his light blond brows arching toward the soft waves of his hair. “Didn’t think about it.”

“I didn’t get you anything, but I want you to have this.” She pulled the bracelet she usually wore out of her pocket.

Drew stood up, and all of a sudden they were face to face. Her breath caught. The memory of his lips on hers flooded into her mind. If she raised up a little on her toes—

“I’ve never seen you without that bracelet. It must be special to you.”

She tugged her gaze from his and laid her gift across his palm. “That’s why I want you to have it.”
The blaze from the sunset and the fire reflected off the tiny, multicolored beads. “It was made by the kids at the orphanage where I’m going. You can use it for a bookmark in your Bible to remind you to pray for the orphans.”

“And if I want to wear it?” He closed his fingers around the beads and turned his hand over, holding his fist out to her. He dropped the bracelet back into her hand.

Her fingers fumbled against the skin on the inside of his wrist as she tied the string.

“Guys don’t wear bows, Rainey.”

She looked up at him. His face was inches from hers. She sucked in a breath. “But you won’t be able to get it off if I knot it.”

“I don’t want to take it off.”

What was going on here? She bent her head back over his wrist and knotted the leather. She stepped back.

Drew grinned at her. “Thanks.”

She shrugged. “It’s not much. At least you got a lot of other gifts—I bet it will take you a week to write the thank yous.”

“Longer.”

She scrunched her forehead. “Why?”

“I’m not writing them.”

“Why not?”

“It will only encourage them. Call me chauvinist, but I don’t want to let one of those girls from church chase me down. I want to catch my own girl.”

She took another step away from him. “I hope you don’t think—”

“No, I don’t.”

She turned away from him. “There’s Missy.” Anything to keep Drew from seeing the red spreading across her cheeks. Missy and her cabin of girls were still a block from the seawall.

Drew caught her by the wrist. “Pray with me first.”

“Sure.” She turned back toward him.

Before she closed her eyes, she
glimpsed
her tiny beads on the large hand that covered hers.

#

Raine heard the catch in Drew’s voice, how he stopped in the middle of a sentence. The kids sitting around the campfire probably didn’t notice. What had disturbed him? She scanned the shore, tree line, faces around the campfire and saw nothing that could have thrown Drew off. Then, she looked up toward the road and saw a girl backlit by the setting sun. She leaned on a pick-up truck, arms folded, feet crossed at the ankles.

Lord, help Drew focus. Let him say the words You want him to say.

As the last of the children climbed onto the seawall, the girl walked toward them. Her honey-brown hair was cut bluntly at her shoulders. She wore
a
Daytona State
College T-shirt and spandex athletic shorts that emphasized the toned muscles of her legs. She hiked through the sand toward them.

“Hey, Drew. I got your e-mail. Thought I’d stop by when I was in town to visit Mother.”

Drew looked at the girl for a long moment without smiling, so unlike him. She
felt
the tension crackle between Drew and the girl.

Finally, his gaze left Sam, and he glanced at her. “This is my good friend, Rainey. Sam.”

Raine sucked in a breath.
The
Sam.

“Actually, I go by Samantha now.” The girl smiled at her, a smile she would have liked if it came from anyone else.

“And I’ve
always
gone by Raine.” She smiled wryly at Drew. “Go ahead. I’ll wait for Jesse to get here.” The girl in Drew’s wallet was seventeen with only hints of the polished beauty she’d be at twenty-four. No wonder she hadn’t recognized Samantha. She needed to get a grip. This was good for Drew. He’d been in love with Samantha since he was eighteen.

Drew put another log on the fire and looked back at her. “You’ll be okay here alone?”

She looked up sharply. She knew what Drew was asking—whether Eddie was a threat. “I had a good talk with Eddie
before campfire
.” She shooed him away with her hands. “I can hear the kids coming up the road already.”

Drew stood as though there was something else he wanted to say to her. But he turned and walked with Samantha toward the seawall. Samantha locked her truck and tossed her sneakers into the back. She watched them stroll toward the jetty in the rosy half light.

He’d e-mailed Samantha, like she suggested. And Samantha must be interested or she wouldn’t have shown up.

God, I…
.
She didn’t know what to pray.

Of course an athletic girl would be better for Drew than— What was she
thinking?

A handful of boys batted an empty water bottle around. A girl’s high pitched laughter arced over the group. But she could only think about the pain digging into her side like she’d run too far and needed to grab hold of the muscle till the hurt subsided.

#

Drew hadn’t been prepared for the shock of seeing Sam again, or Samantha, as she kept reminding him. He
had hoped
for an e-mail, not a personal visit. And Sam
wore
the
Daytona State
College T-shirt he’d
bought
for her eighteenth birthday.

“…managing a gym in Flagler,” she was saying. “
I graduated, and stayed
.”

“
I teach
science at
New Smyrna
Beach High, thinking about moving to Africa to
direct a children’s choir
.” What made him say that? He hadn’t told anyone but Jesse what he was praying about.

Sam stopped
in
the magenta
light
. “Wow.” She shook her head like she was trying to take it in. “Wow.” She started walking again.

The surf churned at his feet like the conflicting emotions inside. He’d memorized everything about her. Now the lens seemed out of focus. Her leggy coltishness had matured into sleek confidence. Part of him wanted to take her in his arms and see if she tasted the same—like cotton candy and fresh peppermint.

Part of him saw her as a stranger. But then, something would remind him of the Sam he knew—the way she shrugged one shoulder, the tiny chip between her bottom teeth.

“Do you still hide from the sun? Like to eat hot and cold foods together? Collect change in the bottom of your purse till it weighs five pounds?”

“Yes!” She laughed
her full, throaty laugh
. “And do you still get up at the crack of dawn? Do you like ham and pineapple pizza? Wear flip-flops in the winter?”

“All but the flip-flops.”

Quiet settled over them. In his gut, he could feel the knot of bitterness flesh had grown over. Seeing her lanced it open. This might be the only opportunity he had to ask the question that had tortured him all these years. “Why did you leave me, Sam? I thought… I thought if you hadn’t transferred to Flagler, we might have gotten back together.” His voice sounded hoarse in his ears.

“I was afraid I’d go back to you if I didn’t move away.”

He cou
ld feel the pus oozing out—dirty white like foam
on the water. “And would that have been so awful?” His breath stopped.

“No.” Her voice was so soft he almost didn’t hear it.

The
froth dissipated
, picking up the fuchsia and lavender of the sunset.

“I knew I wasn’t mature enough to give you what you needed. Commitment.”

She raked fingers through her straight hair, leaving it mussed, reminding him of how she used to be. Did the hair at the nape of her neck still curl in tiny ringlets?

“
Daytona State
is a small school. We would run into each other like we did all second semester—for the rest of college.” She stopped and turned toward him. “Every time I saw you, there was agony in your eyes…”

His lips flattened. “A mercy transfer.”

“You haven’t lost your dry wit.” Sam looked out to sea. “By the time I felt like committing, there was no one worth committing to.”

Something tried to take flight in his chest like a pelican with tar on its wings. They were at the jetty now. Drew folded his arms and leaned against a slab of rock facing her. “Why are you here, Sam?”

“Samantha.” She shrugged one shoulder the way he’d always found so endearing. She looked at her sand-caked toes, and back at his eyes. “Why did you e-mail?”

He shoved off the slab.
Because Raine
y
’s in love with Cal.
“I…
.
Are you happy?” He looked back at her, and she followed him.

She nodded. “So, what’s this about Africa?”

Sam must be as uncomfortable as he was to change the subject so abruptly. He told her about the
Africa Cries
possibility. Would she consider…? He couldn’t read her anymore. Did he want to try again?

Music floated toward them from the campfire. They walked up to the circle and stood in the shadows listening.

Jesse led the group, “Touch Your fingers to the broken things inside. I open up to You, my Healer, my Redeemer, and my Friend…
.
”

Please, Lord, I’ve carried this bitterness way too long.

Sam looked at him as though she could read his thoughts like she used to. He moved away, not wanting her to glimpse the wound she’d uncovered, not wanting her to know he still carried her picture in his wallet.

She stopped beside the truck bathed in moonlight and turned toward him. “I’m sorry I hurt you.” Tears glistened in her eyes, and he realized how deeply she meant the words. He’d only seen her cry once, when her Grandma died. Sam shook her head back and forth. “I hated hurting you.” She spread her hands out helplessly. “What else could I have done?”

Drew couldn’t help it, he was going on emotion now. He pulled her into his arms and held her, breathing in memories, breathing out forgiveness. “Thanks, for that, Sam.” His voice was thick in his throat.

He released her, and she turned away from him, dashing a tear away. She grabbed her shoes from out of the truck bed and reached for the truck handle.

All of a sudden he didn’t want her to leave. “Would you…” He dove like a cliff diver—jettisoned by gusts of the past, “Would you ever consider… Africa?”
Me.

She shot him a flirty smile. “I’m all grown up now, Drew.” She slipped into the truck and shut the door.

It wasn’t until her tail lights disappeared around the corner he realized what she meant. She was ready to commit. She’d give him another shot if he wanted it.

A car pulled onto the sandy berm where the road bent with the coast. He looked up as the engine cut off. Cal.

Behind Raine the Atlantic churned. Above the campfire flames, she had a straight shot at Drew and Samantha standing beside Sam’s truck. The words of Jesse’s prayer spilled
water for her soul onto
the sand. She should close her eyes and drink—but they were dry and stuck open like the last time she had insomnia.