Kicking Eternity (11 page)

“Don’t you wonder whether you got it right—your impression?”

“Yeah.”

“So, you try to do whatever God says,” Cal s
aid, “a slave groveling at her M
aster’s feet— like they’ve tried to beat into my head all my life.”

“More like lover-beloved.”

“Come again?”

“Ever read Song of Solomon?” she
asked
.

Cal cracked a wicked grin. “In junior high when we were supposed to be reading Matthew.” He sobered. “You’re saying the lover talk between Solomon and his wife represents God’s relationship with a person? Kinky.”

“Lovers aren’t limited to sex. Haven’t you ever had moments out on a wave that overwhelm you? Dew on a leaf, light catching a child’s face? You feel touched somehow. Loved.”

Cal was quiet, staring at his hands that hung limply between his knees. He looked down at her. “Score one for the missionary.”

Something turned over inside her.

“Why is faith easy for you when it’s been a royal battle for me?”

“Faith is a choice I made.”

“According to Christianity, if you don’t choose God, you’re going to hell. What’s the use of having a choice if we have to choose God?”

“Would you want a woman to love you because she had no choice, or because she chose you?”

Cal caught her eye, his face inches from hers. “What are you saying?”

“I’m talking about
God
.”

Cal’s blue gaze bored into her. “What do
you
choose?”

“I just told you.”

Cal stood and leaned toward her, a hand on the railing on either side of her. “What if I chose you?” His face was inches from hers; his breath fanned her cheek. “Me with one foot stuck in Christianity like a bear trap? What would you choose?”

The shallow puffs of her breath were loud in the silence between them. His eyes bore into hers, challenging everything she believed. Her gaze dropped to his full lips, back to his eyes.

G
ive me strength.

“God.”

Her hoarse whisper hung in the night air.

Cal straightened. “All our conversations go in circles.” His voice was tinged with disgust and something she couldn’t name. He reached for his board and hefted it onto his shoulder. “Enjoy your choice, Raine.” He walked down the road, his sandals scuffing against the dirt road.

Oh God.
Her heart cartwheeled after
Cal and she couldn’t stop it. 

Was this what Jesus felt when Satan offered him all the kingdoms of the world?

#

Drew walked into camp, Rainey at his side. Beads of moisture still blanketed the grass and the gazebo. The smell of bacon wafted from the dining hall. “Lord, I pray for Rainey’s conflict with her father. Show her if there is something underneath the issue that’s fueling their disagreement.”

“Wait!” Rainey stopped in the middle of the road. “One of Cal’s paintings popped into my head. I think God just answered your prayer. I misinterpreted something in the painting. Come see what I mean.” She motioned with her head for him to follow her into the Lodge.

They stood in front of the painting for several minutes without saying anything. Art wasn’t his thing, but he could wait out Rainey until she told him how the painting affected her.

“That could be Dad.” She pointed at the man. “The kid who is almost free of his shadow is Eddie. Last time I looked at the painting I saw the rest of us kids still bowed down under the weight of Dad’s shadow. For sure, I didn’t want to get out the way Eddie has.”

“What about your father is making you hunch over?”

“I thought he wanted to micro manage every aspect of my life. But you made me think about the underlying cause.”

Drew rubbed his chin and felt the stubble. He needed to shave before breakfast.

Rainey stared hard at the picture as if it would tell her the answer. “Dad and I were close before Eddie got into drugs. I remember always being grateful he was a teacher and
was home
more with me than other  kids’ dads
, even homeschooled kids. But when I became Eddie’s secret keeper, I had to shut off from Dad or he’d be able to tell something was going on.”

She looked at Drew. “Why don’t you come with me on Sunday for lunch with the folks? Maybe if you’re there, I’ll remember to work on improving my relationship with Dad. And maybe he won’t bring up Africa and set me off.”

“I’ve never been known to turn down a home-cooked meal!”

“Good.” Rainey turned her attention back to the painting.

Drew watched her study the picture. Yeah, he wanted to meet the folks—because he and Rainey were friends, as she made perfectly clear. The traditional reason was a long shot, but a mighty sweet one.
Her proposal, never far from the surface, popped into his mind.

“Dad plays the guilt card. ‘A good daughter wouldn’t ask to live on campus,’ and ‘think how it would hurt your mother and me if you went to the other side of the globe.’“

“Maybe your dad misses the closeness you used to have, too.”

Cal walked in. “Whoa. Is it art appreciation hour and I didn’t get the memo?”

Drew watched Rainey go beet red.
Hello. What was that about?

“I showed Drew your painting.”

Cal’s eyes narrowed. “At least it’s one of my better ones.” He tossed a box of paintbrushes onto a table. Cal was steamed. You’d think he’d be pleased people were admiring his work instead of territorial. Go figure.

“You guys headed to the dining hall for breakfast?” Rainey sounded too cheerful.

“Gotta go.” He headed for the door. “Catch you later.” He’d never cared much for Cal, and he wasn’t sticking around for a front row seat to Cal and Rainey’s drama. He jogged down the Lodge steps,
his gut churning
. What did she see in that guy anyway?

#

Raine eyed Cal uncomfortably. Cal
seldom
showed his face before noon, what was he doing up so early?
God, protect me from my feelings for Cal.

She stepped toward the door. “I’m starved!”

“Raine, I get that you’re not interested in anything more than friendship with me.”

His words fell on her back. She stopped, not turning around, absorbing the tightness in his voice.
What do I do, Lord?

“But do you have to treat me like a pariah?”

Every minute she spent with him, she fell deeper into the blue of his eyes. She turned toward him.
“I haven’t been around much this week because I have a zillion details to get done for Africa.” That was true, but they didn’t all have to be done this week. “Come on, let’s eat breakfast.” She glanced back toward the door.

Cal looked at her like he was reading the small print on her heart. She held her breath. He brushed past her in the doorway and pushed through the screen lodge door into the morning sun.

S
ilverware
clinked
on the Sunday china.
Raine’s taste buds smiled as she chewed
Mom’
s pot roast
. She
glanced at Drew and caught his eye, glad
she’d thought to invite
him as a buffer.
Today
she’d
take that first step across the bridge
back
to relationship with Dad. How had she been blind for so many years? Eddie’s secrets weren’t hers to tell, but she didn’t have to completely shut herself off from Dad.

“So, you like teaching, Drew?” Dad said.

Wow, Dad had a fresh dye job since Wednesday. What was the occasion? She shot her brother, Logan, a look, but
his eyes were on
Drew.

“Yeah, I’m in it for the long haul.”

Dad’s lips flattened out like they did when he was pleased. “What church do you attend?”

Would Dad give it a rest already?

“I grew up at
Coronado Baptist
, but I’ve been going to The Beach—the church associated with the camp—since it opened.”

Mom started the potatoes around the table for seconds.
“I’ve heard a lot of good things about that church
.”

She had to steer the family away from grilling Drew.
“Dad, how’s summer school Algebra 1 going?”

“Fine. The kids apply themselves better the second time around, you know. By the way, did Raine tell you we
homeschooled
?
” Dad eyed Drew. “
What d
o you think of home schooling?”

“Raine sure turned out fine.” Drew’s smirk settled on her at the same time she realized what was going down: roasting the potential
son-in-law for lunch. She could imagine how Drew
would tease her
after this
.

She shot a long-suffering look at Logan who winked at her, obviously enjoying the whole event. She looked back at Dad willing him to talk about something, anything— “So, I made my plane reservation for Africa today.”

Dead silence.

Dad’s eyes bore into her. “There’s a twenty-four hour grace period. Get your money back.”

She looked at Mom. “
You
believe God called me to Africa, don’t you?”

“Yes. But I don’t know when. Maybe your father is right. Maybe you need
,”
—
Mom eyed Drew like the prize pig at the Volusia County Fair— “
to tie up some loose ends before you go.”

She clamped down on her lip with her teeth.
Africa.
She’d never wanted anything so badly in her life.

Dad’s face turned the pink of the center of the roast. “Cancel the ticket.”

“I’m an adult.” She stood and glared at Dad. Somewhere under her anger she knew she’d botched the whole reconciliation.

“You won’t go with my blessing.”

“I have another month to decide. That’s when I have to pay for the ticket.” She squeezed the words out quietly with the last of her self-control and walked out the front door.

In Drew’s truck, she drummed on the dashboard thinking about her sins—the way she used to send Antoine out in the back yard to think about his puppy misdeeds. Good thing Drew hadn’t followed her out to the truck. It wouldn’t have been pretty. 

As the minutes ticked by—what was Drew doing in there, anyway?—her anger ratcheted down. She’d only
widened the gulf between
her
and Dad
.
She’d only been trying to deliver Drew from the hot seat. Boy-howdy, but that had backfired.

She drummed on the dash.
She should go in and try again, but she just couldn’t suck up the want-to.

Drew stepped out the front door and jogged down the steps.

She
eyed him as
he got in. “About the inquisition. I had no idea—”

Drew pulled out onto Atlantic Avenue. “Your dad wanted to know what my intentions were.”

Raine slid down in the seat and put her hands over her face. “Taking you home was the worst idea I’ve ever had.”

“You were the one who brought Africa up.”

“To rescue you.”

“Me? I was having fun. Don’t you want to know what I said?”

She peeked through her fingers at Drew.

He laughed. “Never mind. It wasn’t important.”

She sat up, refusing to analyze the emotions caterwauling inside her, but her stomach felt like she’d downed a Diet Coke and a package of Mentos.

Drew pulled to a stop behind the Canteen and turned the engine off. He looked at her. “Earth to Rainey. You can get out now.”

She opened the door and slid out onto the sandy lot. Her eyes ran over the clumps of grass growing against the building
while she waited for Drew to exit the truck
.

“Catch you later. I’ve got to do my laundry—”

“Drew!”

He laughed. “Oh, so you
do
want to know what I told your dad.”

“You are the most irritating guy on the planet! Tell me what you said. Now.”

“Bossy Queen Rainey!”

She pursed her lips and waited.

“I said my intentions were honorable.”

“Glad to hear it.” She spun and race-walked toward her cabin.

#

Drew watched Rainey march away from the truck. She was embarrassed by her family’s thinking they were
a couple
. He should have gone easy on her, but it was too hard to resist teasing her on this one. Then why didn’t he feel satisfied?