Katie's Forever Promise (13 page)

Oh, to be young again and carefree like her students, Katie thought. They had the whole world lying like a clean sheet in front of them while she felt like an old woman, her life soiled and dirty. Even the fresh start with Norman didn't look all that
gut
right now. But maybe tomorrow would be different. She really needed a thankful heart for all the blessings she had, most of them had been sitting right in front of her eyes all day. They were “her” children. She had a
gut
teaching job, and her standing in the community
was the best it had ever been. And tonight
Mamm
and Jesse waited for her at home with their acceptance, and Leroy, Willis, and little Joel were the brothers she'd never had. And Carolyn certainly cared for her. All of these things had been absent not so long ago. She didn't deserve any of these recent blessings from
Da Hah
's hands.

Katie walked to the window and waved as she watched the students scurry in the schoolyard. Several buggies were already waiting in line to pick up passengers.

Katie smiled as the first buggy left. The others soon followed except for one. The driver was climbing out of the buggy instead of taking off. Katie looked closer. It was Leon Stoll, Ben and Noah's father. He was heading her way, his face looking drawn. What could the man want? Was Ben okay? Forcing her feet forward, Katie pasted on a smile. She was a schoolteacher now, and she needed to act the part. That was maturity, wasn't it? Katie walked over and opened the door.

Leon stood there, holding his hat in his hands, for a few moments before he spoke. “Katie, you need to come with me to the hospital. Ben is calling for you. I waited until school was out to come. Ben's had a serious setback.”

“A setback? What do you mean? He was doing well when I saw him.”

Leon bowed his head. “He's developed an infection, and the antibiotics aren't doing much good.”

“But I can't come. Norman, the man I'm seeing, he won't understand.”

“Katie, please! Our people understand such things. I know this is hard, and I wouldn't ask if I didn't know how much this might help Ben. We're worried, Lavina and I. Hearing you speak words of comfort might give Ben strength and hope. Knowing you've forgiven him could encourage him to want to get better.”

“But I did forgive Ben. I was down there the other day with Willis. I told him then.”

Leon nodded. “I know, but at times we need to hear those things again. He's mighty bad off, Katie. We need you to help us give him the courage and hope to fight to get well.”

Katie pulled in a deep breath.

Leon reached out and took her arm, steadying her.

What should she do? Katie wondered. Wasn't it her Christian duty to go? And she hadn't promised Norman this morning not to speak with Ben again, so she wasn't going back on her word. If Ben's
daett
thought it was important, then she should go. Norman would just have to understand, that's all there was to it. Katie made her decision. “I will come then. But I must go home and tell
Mamm
first.”

Leon nodded. “Thank you, Katie. This will mean so much to Ben…and to our family. I'll head back to the hospital then. Thank you again, Katie.”

Fifteen minutes later, Katie rushed toward home, her thoughts scattered. Though she'd forgiven Ben, she knew they had no future together. Yet she surely didn't want him to die. But he wouldn't die. Infections were common in hospitals, weren't they? And they were giving him antibiotics. Still, the idea that Ben's life might be in danger kept Katie moving at a rapid pace.

As she suspected, when she dashed into the house to tell
Mamm
where she was going, she was met with disapproval. “You can tell me all the reasons I shouldn't go when I get home,” Katie said. “I promised Ben's
daett
I'd be there, and I'm going.” With that she hurried back to her buggy and headed for the hospital in Dover.

In the parking lot, Katie tied Sparky to a lamppost and rushed inside. Going past the receptionist with only a quick nod, Katie used the stairs and rushed into room 320. Ben's
mamm
, Lavina, was standing beside his bed.

“Thank
Da Hah
you have come!” Lavina said.

“It really is that bad?” Katie stopped short of the bed. Ben's face looked even whiter against the pillow than it had the last time she'd seen him. He moaned, his lips moving but his eyes stayed closed.

“
Yah
,” Lavina whispered. “We wouldn't have called you otherwise. They're treating him for a staph infection with antibiotics. It's all happened so fast. If he doesn't fight, he might not live.”

Katie moved closer, her heart pounding. She reached out to touch Ben's hand. The fingers that had once brushed her face were now pale and frail. The lips that had kissed her were colorless.

“Ben,” she whispered gently. “Ben, I've come. Can you hear me?” Katie repeated her call leaning closer to Ben's ear.

Lavina moved away from the bed and sat down. “I'm sorry, Katie. We were hoping he'd recognize your voice and respond. We thought it might help.”

“Shall I stay the night? I can if you want me to and you think it might help.”

Lavina voice caught. “You would stay? Speak to Ben some more? I'm told they can hear sometimes, even when they're like this.”

Katie managed a smile. “
Yah
, I have heard that myself. I will speak to him for awhile. Maybe it will help. What can it hurt?”

Lavina nodded, and silence fell between them.

Katie hesitated. It would feel strange talking to Ben in front of Lavina. And what was she to say? Ben and Katie had said so many things while they'd been together. Loving thoughts, tender words, and joy-filled hopes. Now none of those could be said. Still, Ben needed words of comfort, and she was duty bound to say them if she could. Katie took a deep breath and began in a whisper. “I loved you once, Ben. But you already know that. Everything I
ever told you in those days was true. It came from my heart. I knew I'd never find another man I admired more. So what you did hurt me deeply. Yet I have forgiven you with the help of
Da Hah
. And I've done that with all my heart. And now I want you to go on living.
Da Hah
can't be done with you down here on earth, Ben. He loves you—just as He loves all of us. And
Da Hah
also forgives. He gave us His dear Son, Jesus, to die for our sins. How can there be a greater love than that?”

Katie glanced over at Lavina, who smiled through her tears and nodded.

Katie took another deep breath. “You wanted to see if our faith was worth it, Ben. Remember the trip I took to Switzerland? And all the doubts you used to have? I don't know if you had your questions answered, but I found plenty of reasons to believe while in that country. Our people come from a great faith, Ben. They believed in their faith enough to die for it, and they were not mistaken. We saw the place where Felix Manz was drowned in the Old Town of Zurich. We saw the house where the first baptisms were performed. We stood by the fountain where the water might have been dipped from. We drove through beautiful towns perched on the hillsides where our people had to leave their farms behind and flee.

“It broke their hearts, Ben, and yet they counted the faith worth the price. We sang in a cave back up in the mountains where our people used to gather and sing and worship. This was the only place they were safe from arrest. We climbed into a hiding place inside a barn where they took temporary shelter before fleeing further into the mountains. We saw the castle where many of them were kept prisoner. Some were held there for years until their bodies wasted away.

“I wanted to tell you all of that when I came home, Ben. I wanted to help you believe and take courage. But then what
happened, happened. I know you didn't plan things that way or wish them to be so. But that's how sin works, Ben. I'm sure you know that by now. I'm not trying to make you feel bad. I'm trying to encourage you. I cried tears by the buckets when I heard the news of what you'd done. I didn't know if I could go on. I wanted to lie down in that foreign country and die. That's how much I loved you, Ben.

“I thought joy would never come back to my life. Then I thought maybe it could, but only after years and years. But
Da Hah
touched me a few days later, Ben. High up in the mountains of Switzerland, up in the Alps. We almost didn't take the cable car up that morning because it was so foggy. But we did anyway on the chance that things might open up. And as we approached the last leg of the journey, the weather lifted. Those mountains were unbelievable!” Katie stopped to wipe her eyes. “They were like nothing I'd ever seen, before or since. They stretched from the right hand to the left as far as the eye could see. All laid out in a glorious splendor which shouted out the wonders of what
Da Hah
's hands had done. The words were so loud in my ears, and yet there was perfect silence.

“I cried that morning, Ben. I soaked in all that glory. I saw what
Da Hah
had created. He's a great
Hah
, Ben. There is none like Him. While we go about messing up our lives, He goes around making beautiful things—things unlike anything we can imagine or think. I wish you could have seen all of that.”

Katie paused. “My heart was healed that morning, Ben.
Yah
, I've cried many times since. And I still wish things had turned out differently. But
Da Hah
touched me with His glory. I remembered His promise that He would work all things for the best. And He'll do the same thing for you, Ben. He can…and He will, Ben. Don't doubt Him.” Katie paused. She was out of breath.
And she wondered what Lavina was thinking about her words. Was she being too emotional? Too personal?

Before she could look at Lavina, a nurse came in and checked the monitors. When she'd gone, Lavina came up to stand beside Katie. Ben's
mamm
hugged her with both arms. “That was so beautiful, Katie. Thank you.” She then turned to Ben. “My son, can you hear me? We love you more than we can say.”

She
does
love him, Katie thought. And I must still have a little love for him too. But the fact remained that she was here because it was the right thing to do. Tomorrow she would be at the school again. Norman would still be the man who would love her and, unless she missed her guess, marry her.

Chapter Thirteen

Katie awoke and rubbed her hand on her neck. What time was it? There was no clock in the waiting room, but it felt like early morning. A nurse walked by in the hallway, and a woman she'd seen last night was sleeping on the chair across from her. There hadn't been time last evening in the brief glimpse they'd had of each other to find out what her trouble was. The concern on her face had been indication enough that someone she loved was facing a serious crisis.

Rising, Katie found her way down the hallway to Ben's room. Lavina was awake and standing by the window that had the drapes pushed back. She didn't look back when Katie walked in, apparently deep in her thoughts.

Two chairs sat beside Ben's bed. One of them had Lavina's shawl draped over the back. She should have slept in here with Lavina instead of staying in the waiting room, Katie thought. But that might have been too forward. Her mission was to help the family and Ben, but she wasn't his girlfriend any longer.

“Is he sleeping?” Katie asked as she stepped beside Lavina. The first signs of dawn were creeping into the sky outside.

“
Yah
.” Lavina smiled. “Peacefully now. The doctor was in earlier. He thinks the worst is past, but I'm staying here for the day.”

“So he's going to make it? That's great news. I'm so glad!” Katie gave Lavina a brief hug and glanced at Ben's still face. It would be so
wunderbah
to see a smile creep across his face right now. But she shouldn't be thinking such thoughts. Katie quickly added, “Is Leon still having the
Englisha
driver come for me?”

“
Yah
,” Lavina replied as tears brimmed in her eyes. “I'm sure it was your speaking hope to Ben last night that pulled him through, Katie. We can never thank you enough.”

Katie shook her head. “You had more influence than I did. A
mamm
is close to her boy's heart. But I'm glad if I could help.”

“You'll never know how much you did.” Lavina wrapped Katie in a tight hug. “Do you want to wait for the driver outside in the waiting room?”

Katie's gaze moved back to Ben's face. “I think I will.”

“Perhaps it would be for the best.”

Lavina seemed to understand, much to Katie's relief.

“You won't tell him that I was here if he doesn't remember, okay?”

“Not if you don't want me to. Oh, Katie, I'm so sorry for what Ben did to you. I can never say how much. And I know Ben sorrows deeply himself. The boy has suffered more than you can imagine. What he did was a great sin, and I'm afraid he's not through suffering over it.”

Katie pressed back her tears and slipped into the hallway. Perhaps it wasn't over for Ben, but it must be over for her. Now it was best if she went home and continued with her current life. She'd done her duty; no one could fault her for that. Back in the waiting room, Katie settled into a chair. The woman across the
room was stirring, her eyes bleary. Katie was ready to ask who in her family was ill when Leon came in, his face drawn from stress. He didn't waste any words.