Katie's Dream (26 page)

“It doesn't hurt to ask. She might remember something. Or about any relatives.”

“I don't know,” Katie said with a sigh. “I wish we still had your picture. You look more tired-er in it.”

“It's time for bed,” Juli said, laying down the brush with a suddenly shaking hand.

But Katie was thinking on something. “Mama was surprised,” she said abruptly. “When Edward said you was younger than him, she was surprised.”

“She thought I was older?” I thought that was good news. Finally, something that didn't fit. Maybe the man, whoever he was, really
was
older than Edward. But Juli
was looking at me as if it pained her. And then I realized why. I should have said
Katie's father
was older. Not I. But correcting myself now might only make things worse.

“Edward's immature,” Julia said quietly. “Robert acts older than he does.” She stood up. “Sarah! Rorey! Let's go say your prayers.” She turned her eyes to me. “Do you mind keeping Emma Grace while I settle them down? She had a late nap and it'll take me longer to get her to sleep.”

“Juli . . .” I wanted to find the right words to say, but Rorey and Sarah came bouncing back into the kitchen and I knew it would have to wait. “That's fine,” I told her. “She's no problem.”

Katie wanted to stay with me, but Juli called her in to bed with the other girls. I could hear her singing softly to them while Emma Grace pulled on my ear and giggled.

Robert emerged from behind the draped sheet and came up close, looking at my eye. “That's pretty awful, Dad.”

“It'll heal.”

“Why'd he bust you?”

“That's a long story.”

“Did you bust him back?”

“No, Robert—”

“Why not? I would have.”

I didn't doubt it to be true. Robert was more hotheaded than I was.

“You ought to tell the sheriff. About what he done to Franky too. He shouldn't just get by—”

“It's in God's hands.”

Robert shook his head. “That's kind of what Mom said. But what if God doesn't do anything?”

“He will,” I answered, not sure why I could feel so confident about it.

Sarah and Rorey had been asleep a while, and Robert had gone upstairs when I started polishing shoes for Sunday morning. Juli was rocking Emma Grace in the sitting room, so I was surprised to hear little feet padding my way. I looked up to see Katie coming in the kitchen, her eyes round and sleepy, both hands holding tight to yarn dolls.

“Can I watch?” she asked.

“You're supposed to be sleeping. Didn't Julia see you?”

“She had her eyes closed. She's singing to the baby.” I nodded. I hadn't noticed singing. Lost in my thoughts, I guess.

She watched closely as I wiped some of Juli's homemade walnut stain across the fronts of my church shoes. The stuff worked well enough in the stead of brown shoe polish.

“Why are you doing that?” she asked me.

“Because the shoes are old, and I want them to look their best. I buff them a little and they'll be all right. You want me to do yours too?”

“Mama only fixed up shoes before a show. She said everything was supposed to look good for a show.”

“Well, this isn't for a show. But God's house is important. We want to look our best.”

“Your wife sings pretty.”

“I know.”

“Mama sings pretty too.”

“I figured she must. But don't you think you ought to be sleeping? We've got to get up and around in the morning.”

She sat on the floor next to Sarah's little shoes. “I know.” She rested her chin on her hands and looked up at me. “But I can't sleep too good.”

“Why not?”

“I guess because I don't know about church. An' I'm kind of . . . kind of . . .”

“Scared?”

“Yeah.”

I set my cloth down. “I can understand that. The first time I ever went to this church, I was pretty nervous too. I didn't know anybody except the people I was going there with. And it's okay to be nervous. But there's nothing to be afraid of.”

“What do you do?”

“First you greet a few folks. Find a seat. Sing a hymn or two and go to Sunday school.”

“I've never been to any kind of school. Mama says I'll have to go in the fall.”

“Yeah. I expect so. But Sunday school's not the same. It's all year and only on Sunday. You learn about Jesus and the things God wrote in the Bible.”

“Does Sarah like it?”

“Yes. And Sarah's mommy is the teacher for your age, so you don't even have to have somebody you don't know.”

She smiled. “Is Sarah going to school in the fall?”

“She's already been. For the first time last year. But she'll go back. And she likes that too.”

“I hope I can go where she goes.”

I wasn't sure how to answer that. Katie would probably be going back East. To her grandmother, if we could find her. “Right now you need to go back to bed. Morning comes pretty early around here.”

She got up, and I thought she was going to do what I told her, but instead of going in the other room, she came right up and gave me a giant hug the way Sarah did sometimes.

I held her for a minute, praying for her and hoping she'd go on to bed without me prompting her again.

But she didn't move. For a long time she clung to me, and I wasn't sure what to do. She'd been this way the very first night, like I was a lifeline of some kind.

“Katie?” I finally said. “Are you feeling okay?”

“I wish you'd rock me like the baby. Mama used to, but it's been a long, long time.”

She wasn't crying. But I knew she was close to it. “You're a little nervous about more than church, aren't you?”

She squeezed me tighter. One of the yarn dolls dropped to the floor. “I know you're gonna send me away. An' I don't wanna go.”

“I have to be honest,” I told her. “If we find family, I'd have to send you away. I wouldn't have much choice about it. And I know that's scary, especially if you haven't met them. But you'd get used to them, and it probably wouldn't take long.”

“I thought I'd be scared of you. And I was, but only for a minute.”

“See?” I tried to look into her eyes. “It'll likely be the same way with your family, wherever they are.”

“What if it's not? Mama said her relatives don't like us.”

“I'm sure God's got someone willing to like you and take very good care of you.”

“Mama said
you
should.”

“But your mama never really met me. She only thought I was someone that . . . that she really did meet once.”

She looked at me with a little shake of her head. “I only think one thing about that.”

“What?”

She took a breath. “If she did meet you, then you both got kind of mixed up, 'cause
you
forgot, and
she
said I'd have to be really good 'cause you were kind of mean sometimes. But you're not.”

“Thank you. I appreciate hearing that.”

“But maybe the others is mean! Maybe you're the one God got willing!”

“Katie—”

She wasn't listening to me. She was crying now. “I like Sarah! I even like Rorey and the boys! I like Mrs. Wortham
lots, even though I never did see anybody cook like her. She sings to me an' tells me about stuff like beating up rugs and walking in a creek. I don't wanna go anywhere else. I never liked any other place this much! Even with Mr. Eddie bein' so bad, because I think he'll go away pretty soon and leave us alone.”

“He may. Eventually. But I can't promise you can stay here. We just don't know yet what we're going to find out.”

She kept crying, and my heart went out to her, but I knew of nothing else I could say. Ben Law could show up tomorrow to tell us about that grandma or someone else willing to take her in. And she'd have to go. But she needed something, some kind of an assurance. My heart was heavy, thinking of the hurt of a child with no certain tomorrow. I had to tell her something.

“Katie . . .”

She shook a little, trying to push the tears away.

“I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know if you'll have to go, or when. But I'll make you a promise. If Sheriff Law can't find a place for you with a relative where you'll be safe and happy, then I'll keep you. You'll be my little girl, just like Sarah is. Whether we're blood or not.”

You'd think I'd promised her the world. She jumped at my neck so quick that it hurt. She was squeezing me and crying, and I was hoping I'd done the right thing. But then I saw a shape, and I looked up and saw Juli standing in the doorway. I wished I knew how much she'd heard. I hoped she wasn't upset with me for making such a rash promise without even talking to her about it first.

“Time for bed, Katie,” I said.

“Yes,” Julia agreed. “Come here, sweetie. I'll take you.”

She went. They both went. And I didn't know what to do but go back to shining my shoes. I didn't really know if what I'd said was bothering Julia or not. She was much too kind to say anything about it in front of Katie. But she was so good-hearted, especially with kids, that I guess I shouldn't have worried.

“You did the right thing,” she said when she came back in the kitchen. “She's claimed us like family already. If they don't find her a home, it wouldn't be right just to put her with strangers in an orphanage or something.”

“You're an incredible woman. We've only known her a few days.”

“She's seen a lot in that time. Franky getting hurt. And the results of the first fight I've ever known you to have.” She reached and touched my cheek.

“It wasn't much of a fight.”

“Pretty one-sided?”

I looked down at the shoes in my hand. “Yeah.”

She sat down beside me. “What possesses him to keep after you? Can't he see you're trying to be peaceable?”

“I don't know, Juli. I guess he's always been kind of blind.”

“Then we need to ask Pastor Jones to pray for him tomorrow, along with Franky.”

I sat quiet, considering. “Do you really think I should go?”

“Of course you should! You mean because you're going to have quite a black eye for tomorrow? Is that why you're wondering?”

“Yeah, I guess. I'm not anxious to have everybody looking me over.”

“They might think any number of things. But you have nothing to be ashamed of. You didn't provoke him or even hit him back, did you? You can't help it if someone flies off the handle, any more than I could.”

Those words churned my blood. “If he lays a hand on you again, I'll do more than hit him.”

She put her hand on my shoulder. “You know what I think?”

I looked over at her. “No.”

“I think I'm blessed. You don't seem mad at me. But you could be.”

“Why would I be mad at you?”

“I think you know why. Don't you?” She put her arm around me and kissed me on my bruised cheek. It hurt. But I wasn't about to tell her.

“I can't blame you, Juli. If I didn't know better, I wouldn't believe myself.”

“But I know you. I've seen your heart. That should be good enough.”

“It's hard to argue with what looks like evidence. But at least we know now that the guy might be older and rougher than I am.”

She smiled, relief apparent in her eyes even by the light of the oil lamp. “You're right. That's wonderful!”

She hadn't been sure. She'd been acting so sweet and wonderful to me even when she wasn't sure. For a minute that bothered me. But then I thought, that's love. “I love you, Juli. For being willing to hug me even if I was a lying bum.”

“Oh, honey, I never meant anything like that.”

“But if it were true, you'd stay with me, wouldn't you?”

She squeezed my hand. “It isn't true. You told me it isn't. But if it were, I couldn't throw my whole life away. I need you. And I always will.”