Just One Kiss (15 page)

I grin and say good-bye.

“He says to play nice,” I tell her matter-of-factly.

“Dumb,” she grumbles. I giggle, feeling like nothing could
bring me down from cloud nine. “Stop grinning like that, it’s freaking me out,”
She chides.

I giggle more. “I can’t help it. I feel like the puny white
guy from
Road Trip
who has sex with that black chick and goes ‘I boinked
her man!’” We both laugh hysterically until we can hardly breathe.

Once we can finally stop laughing, we sit up and start
talking about random things. After a bit, I move to my closet and change in to
a pair of long black leggings and a U of M hoodie with a golden gopher on the
front. I pull my hair up into a messy bun before sitting back down on my bed.
Molly and I spend the rest of the day talking and laughing until we’re called
downstairs for dinner.

I’m reluctant to go, silently wondering if Molly could just
bring a plate up to me. I keep it inside, though, deciding to be an adult and
just deal with my problems. At the table, my family is already waiting for us.
Luckily, I can sit by Dad, the only one other than Molly whom I’m not mad at.

“Anna,” my mom begins.

“I don’t mean this rudely, but could we please just wait
until after dinner? I’m hungry and I’d like to enjoy my meal.”

Mom sighs disappointedly before nodding her head in
agreement. The dinner is, as expected, awkwardly quiet. Everybody keeps sending
cautious glances my way until I’m wondering if this is actually better than
talking about it. “Fine, what?” I ask eventually.

“We just want to say we’re sorry,” Lena tells me softly.

“I never knew it actually hurt you,” Matt adds. “I thought
you knew it was just a joke.”

“I knew it was a joke to you, but it never was to me,” I
respond honestly.

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?” Mom asks me.

“Because it was embarrassing. If you guys had picked on
anybody else, I might have, but it was always only me,” I explain. “I guess I
just always felt like you all didn’t like me and that it was somehow my fault.”

“I never meant to hurt you,” Mom cries, quickly dabbing
under her eyes with a napkin Dad offered her.

“I know that,” I tell her, shaking my head.

“Do you think you could forgive us?” Lena asks hopefully.

I shrug. “Honestly? Maybe. It’s been a long time of feeling
worthless. Now that I finally feel good about myself, I need to work on that
before I can try forgiving you. I know it seems dramatic, but I have years of
pain and self-hatred that I need to let go of.”

“Are you still going to talk to us?” Matt asks me, actually
sounding worried.

I look up. “Of course I will. You’re all still my family. I
love you no matter what,” I tell them.

They all seem to collectively relax in relief. It shocks me.
Did I really mean that much to them? Did they really think I could hate them?

***

Later that night, Molly and I are watching a movie in my
bedroom when I get a text from Brayden.

Brayden:
Hey u.

Me:
Hi :)

Brayden:
How was ur day?

Me:
Okay. Yours?

Brayden:
Good. Anything happen?

Me:
My family apologized to me . . .
 

Brayden:
Thats good, rite?

Me:
Yes and no. They thought I hated them.

Brayden:
What u say?

Me:
That I’d always love them. I just feel bad for making
them think I would hate them.

Brayden:
Not ur fault cutie.

Me:
I still feel guilty. It makes me want to forget all
about how they treated me all together.

Brayden:
Thats ur choice. I say giv it time.

Me:
Can I ask a random question?

I have to wait longer than usual for his response.

Brayden:
Sure?

Me:
Why do you always shorten your texts?

Brayden:
lol duz it bthr u?

Me:
Brayden.

Brayden:
Qt.

It takes me a second, but I realize he shortened “Cutie.”

Me:
You’re ridiculous. :P

Brayden:
lol ikr?

Me:
IKR?

Brayden:
I no rite?

Me:
All right! It bothers me, stop!

Brayden:
All you had to do was ask nicely. You’re worth
the effort :)

Me:
Finally.

Brayden:
Lol why does it bother you so much?

Me:
Idk . . . it just does. I mean,
some acronyms don’t bother me like “idk” or “lol” or even “brb.”

Brayden:
Freak.

Me:
Meany head.

Brayden:
lol okay. I’m really tired and looking at the
screen is getting harder and harder. I’ll talk to you tomorrow?

Me:
Ok. Sleep well.

Brayden:
You too, Baby.

I feel a weird jolt in my stomach when I read “Baby.”

Me:
I like that.

Brayden:
What?

Me:
Baby.

Brayden:
Okay :)

I set my phone on my nightstand and go back to the movie, a
massive smile on my face.

Unaccepted Apologies

When I see Ro on Monday on the way to my first class, I
quickly drag her to the nearest bathroom. She’s laughing and following me willingly.

“You want to explain why you just manhandled me back there?”
she asks while I check for anybody hiding in the stalls. They’re empty.

“Brayden and I had sex and are dating now,” I blurt out.

“What?” she asks, shocked.

I nod, biting my lip, worried about how she’ll react. I’m
prepared for her yelling at me about having sex. Instead, she starts jumping up
and down. “No way, no way, no way!” It’s a much girlier response than I
expected from her. She seems super excited.

“Yes way,” I respond dryly.

“Wait,” she stops suddenly. “Are you guys like ‘friends
dating’ or ‘dating dating?’”

“We’re like ‘relationship dating.’ He’s my boyfriend and I’m
his girlfriend,” I inform her happily.

“Oh, Annie, good for you!” she says, moving to hug me
tightly. I laugh and hug her back.

The alarm on my phone goes off, reminding us that we need to
get to class and she pulls back. “Okay, I want to know everything. Tell me
tonight at work,” she demands before running off.

I shake my head and move on to my class too. Unfortunately,
my first Monday morning class is with both Sam and the leader of the girls I
used to be “friends” with back in high school. Paige McDonald is pretty much
what every girl wants to be, other than her ugly personality. With long, blonde
hair, bright green eyes, a tiny body, and a slight edge that makes all guys go
crazy, she practically ran the school. I always wondered why she was my friend.
Now I realize that I was probably just there to make her and the other girls
feel better about themselves.

I take my spot near the back and off to the side, trying to
be as inconspicuous as possible. Even now it hurts to look at them. What makes
it even worse is the sympathetic look Sam always throws my way, like “You poor
thing, sorry I publicly humiliated you.” It’s ridiculous. He did what he did
and it’s done. Why does he need to feel sorry for me on top of it? If he felt
so bad about it, he shouldn’t have done it in the first place.

I shake my head as I feel myself getting angrier and pull
out my notebook. Professor Jenkins teaches the most boring math class ever—I’m
not kidding. He drones on and on completely monotone. Like being taught math by
a robot. It kind of reminds me of the teacher from
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.
I always have to write down everything he says and read it again later with
a different voice in order to get anything out of it.

Class starts and I’m steadily writing, trying to get
everything he says, when a paper hits my chest and falls to my lap. Frowning, I
pick it up and read it.

Hi.

—Sam

I give the paper a look like “are you fucking kidding me?”
and crunch it up in a ball, throwing it on the ground beside me. What is this,
junior high? Passing notes, seriously?

Looking back up, I realize I just missed a good fifteen
seconds of whatever Professor Jenkins was saying and it frustrates me. Learning
his lessons is hard enough without missing a piece. About half a page of notes
later, leaving an open space to ask him what he said later, I get hit with a
piece of paper again.

Rolling my eyes, I just flick it away and let it fall to the
ground. This happens about three more times before the end of class. I only
looked at the first one, ignoring the rest and letting them fall into the
building pile of paper at my feet. When the class is over, I quickly pack my
things away, grabbing the scraps of paper and bringing them to the trash on my
way to Professor Jenkins’s desk.

“How can I help you, Anna?” he asks me, resting his hands on
his head and relaxing in his chair.

I smile apologetically and grab my notebook. “Do you happen
to remember what you were saying right in between these two statements?” I ask,
pointing to the empty space.

He starts laughing at me and quickly fills in the blank.
“Thank you so much, I really appreciate it,” I tell him, feeling like a bit of
an ass kisser.

“Any time,” he says as I walk out the door. “At least you’re
paying attention.”

Sam Erickson is leaning against the wall by the door as I
exit the room. I ignore him until he starts walking beside me.

“Can I help you?” I ask, turning my head to the side.

“Yeah, I don’t know if you realize this, but it was me
passing you those notes,” he says politely.

I nod. “I know,” I tell him flatly.

He seems a little surprised. “Oh, well . . . Why
didn’t you write me back?”

I raise my eyebrows at him as we turn the corner into
another hallway. “Why would I? I honestly don’t want to talk to you.”

“Because of the stuff that happened last year?” he asks,
making me roll my eyes. He’s a genius, this one. I keep walking in silence.

“Well, that’s the thing. I wanted to say I’m sorry for that.
I’m sure you know better than most how Paige ca—” I hold my hand up, cutting
him off.

“Okay, first of all, don’t feel sorry for me. Second, don’t
even begin putting all of this on her. She’s a bitch, but you’re a person, Sam.
You can take responsibility for your own actions. I don’t really give a damn
what she did to convince you. All I know is that it takes a really cold-hearted
and small-minded person to do what you guys did to me last year. And I don’t
have any time in my life for people like that, no matter what their excuses.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a class to get to.” I turn and disappear
through the doorway of my next class with determination.

Sliding into my seat, I feel like a whole new person. I’ve
wanted to say that to somebody since it happened and now I finally did. I
finally stood up for myself. This whole saying how I feel thing is kind of
giving me a power trip. First my family, now Sam? Who next, Paige?

I shudder at the thought. There’s some kind of hold that
Paige still has over me. As much as I hate it, I can’t get past it. It’s like I
stood in her shadow for so long that I’m still trying to get used to the world
without it. I know I’m pathetic for feeling this way, but I can’t help it. And
until I can, I’m going to avoid her as much as possible.

Shaking thoughts of Paige away, I carefully slip my phone
out of my pocket. Mrs. Wallis is really strict about cell phones. Some
professors don’t mind as long as they’re silent, but Mrs. Wallis will take the
phone and look through it if she catches you, as if we were in middle school.

Me:
You’ll never guess what just happened.

Brayden:
What?

Me:
I stood up to Sam.

Brayden:
Are you serious?

Me:
Lol yeah, I’m serious!

Brayden:
No way! What happened?

Me:
I’ll tell you later . . . can you
come to Starbucks tonight?

Brayden:
Sure, I’ll stop in after work.

Me:
K, see you then.

Brayden:
Bye . . . Baby :)

I slide my phone back into my pocket with a huge grin on my
face—not only for what just happened, but also because I’ll get to see Brayden
later. After spending Friday afternoon together, I didn’t get to see him for
the rest of the weekend. It’s one of the longer periods of time that I’ve gone
without him. But at least this time we talked every day.

***

Before I know it, I’m finished with my classes and clocking
in at work. Today, Ro and I get to work with Jake and Liz. So far, I haven’t
gotten many shifts with Jake. I think he usually takes the school hours. As
soon as Aurora gets there, about three minutes after me, she demands that I
tell her everything.

I start with falling asleep in his bed and end with me
leaving the next day. She’s practically hyperventilating on the counter.

“I can’t believe it! I mean, who would have thought that
Brayden could be so sexy? I mean, yeah, he’s hot, but how could you even
breathe after he told you he wanted you to be the one he calls after a bad
day?”

I grin. “I knew he could be so sexy. There’s like this
really sweet side to him that you haven’t gotten to see yet. I mean, he’s
always polite and nice, but there’s this romantic part of him that’s been
leaving me feeling like jelly,” I say, grinning. “And clearly his confession
did something to me; we’re dating, after all,” I giggle, blushing a bit.

“Annie’s got a boyfriend! Annie’s got a boyfriend!” Ro
starts taunting, making me hit her with the towel I’m holding.

“What? Annie’s got a boyfriend? Who is he?” Liz asks us,
walking up after cleaning the bathrooms. We all take turns for that awful part
of the job.