Junk Miles (41 page)

“
Um, I can’t really do the fast dance stuff, unless it’s like moshing, but if you want to slow dance, we could do that.” He was cute in a metal-faced, neck-tattooed way.

We went out onto the dance floor and he put his hands at my hips, so I put mine at his neck and decided to have fun dancing like it was our eighth-grade dinner dance.

“
So, is Saxon going to, like, beat my ass?” Nate’s eyes made a nervous check of the room. Presumably for a sneak attack from Saxon?

I looked at him questioningly. “Saxon isn’t my boyfriend, Nate. Jake is. The guy who was at my house.”

“
Oh.” Nate’s eyebrows pushed together for a minute. “Just, ah, Saxon said that he was going to beat my ass. I don’t really know him, so I figured it was because he found out you and I were, like, going. Even though it’s not, you know, a date or anything.” There were a few beads of sweat on Nate’s forehead.

I sighed. Between Jake glaring at him at my house and Saxon telling everyone that he was going to ‘beat Nate’s ass,’ it would be no wonder if poor Nate was right at the edge of a heart attack.

“
I don’t know. I mean, about Saxon.” I looked him right in the eye and said firmly, “Just ignore him. He tends to talk a lot. A lot more than he should, in fact.”

As if on cue, Saxon appeared next to Nate. “Beat it, Nate. Or I really will beat your ass.”

“
Excuse me.” We stopped dancing and Nate looked like he might faint. I glared at Saxon. “I’m dancing this dance with Nate. I’d tell you to ask me again later, but I have a feeling that I’m not going to want to dance with you at all tonight.”

Saxon’s eyes were black as pitch and sparkling with fury. “Finish your damn dance, Nate. But she’s not gonna give it up for you anyway. If you want a sure thing, I’ll hook you up with Tara Jordan. She’s technically my date, but she’s a little tipsy, so she’d be happy to be your date instead.”

“
Saxon!” I cried.

But Nate’s face looked eager. I rolled my eyes at him. “It’s cool, Brenna. Do you want to dance with Saxon?” He was already looking around for Tara. So much for sweet Nate.

“
Whatever.” He was gone like a birddog on the scent.

Saxon grabbed me and pulled me close. “C’mon Blix, don’t be pissed. It was agony watching you march around with that goon. I had to cut in before I forked my own eyes out.” He spun me around and dipped me low. “You look fucking hot.”

“
Thanks,” I said flatly. I didn’t return the compliment. I knew he already knew how good he looked. He was wearing all black; black suit, black shirt, black socks and shoes. The only break in the outfit was a red tie. Like he knew I’d be wearing a red dress. Everything he wore was fitted perfectly and expensive looking. He knew how to dress, that was for sure. I needed to get my mind off how good he looked quickly. “So how did it work out with the Amazon?”

“
What?” He looked totally confused.

“
The girl. From the field hockey team?” I reminded him.

“
Oh, her.” He smiled a smug smile. “If you’re asking if I screwed her, then yeah. And she’s as athletic in bed as she is on the field.”

“
Great. That’s exactly what I wanted to know.” He tried to pull me closer, but I kept a little distance between us. “Thanks.”

“
But we’re not an item.” He spun me neatly, and the momentum threw me right into his arms, nice and snug. “Neither are Tara and I. So if you still want some action, my car’s in the lot.”

“
Just stop.” I stopped dancing and he pulled me back into his arms.

“
Stop what?” He wrapped an arm around my waist.

“
Stop this.” I pulled away from him. We were in the middle of the dance floor with two feet between us and couples moving awkwardly to avoid bumping into us.

“
What do you want?” he asked, his black eyes bright.

“
I want to be able to come to a prom and not be harassed by you.” When I saw the look of disgust on his face, I grabbed his hand. “Really? You want to know what I want? I want to talk to you without all of this bullshit between us. I want to be able to have you as a friend.”

“
Not fucking possible.” He stalked off of the dancefloor.

I followed him, because, as always, nothing felt finished with Saxon. “Wait.”

“
Why?” He threw his hands up. “You can’t imagine how sick I am of all of this, Brenna. All of this is just bullshit.”

“
All of what? Prom?”

“
You know exactly what I mean.” He closed the gap between us, stuck his face next to mine, and spoke low, for my ears alone. “Not
prom
. My whole
fucking life.
It’s bullshit.”

“
Well, whose fault is that?” I pushed at his chest. “You want what you can’t have, you take whatever is the easiest thing you can reach. You let Jake go, you won’t accept friendship with me; what do you expect?”

I had followed him all the way out to the foyer. He pulled me into an empty dining room, dark and quiet compared to the wild, music-filled ballroom.

“
I have fucked things up beyond repair.” He pronounced each word deliberately and turned his back to me.

“
What? What have you fucked up?” I put a hand on his shoulder and turned him towards me.

“
You and me.” He ran a hand over the short, shiny hair of his mohawk.

“
I’m here, right? I’m talking to you. I’m with you. I’ll be your friend, if you want.”

“
I do. And more.” He looked at me, his eyes begging.

“
Well, learn to settle,” I snapped. “That’s all that bothers you in life? The one girl you were never compatible with doesn’t want to be your girlfriend?”

“
There’s Jake, too.” He slumped into a chair.

“
Jake’s an understanding guy. Didn’t you tell me that?” I sat in the chair next to his. “I know you gave him dance lessons.”

He looked up in surprise. “He told me that he’d kill me if I mentioned it.”

“
Yeah, probably because he was embarrassed that he learned to dance from a dude.” I raised my eyebrows, waiting for him to answer back.

Saxon smiled, a tiny one at first, then wide across his entire face. “How did he do?”

“
He tore it up. A regular Fred Astaire.” I sighed and got a warm feeling low in my gut when I thought back on that night. “We had a great time.”

“
Yeah, well, he’s pretty light on his feet for a guy,” Saxon said wryly. He shook a cigarette from the pack in his pocket and lit it.

“
You’re not allowed to smoke in here.” I pointed to the prominently displayed ‘no smoking’ sign in the room.

“
I don’t give a shit.” He blew a long lungful of smoke into the air.

“
So, why would Jake have asked you for help if he didn’t feel something other than hate for you?” I waved the smoke from his cigarette away from my face.

“
Alright.” He blew smoke out in a long stream. “But when he finds out that I lied about us being brothers, he’s going to hate my guts. I guarantee it. That’s not the kind of shit you just get over, trust me, Blix.”

I grabbed his smoking hand, took his cigarette, and put it in my mouth. I lifted his hand, and pointed to the place where the long silver scar was, the same as Jake’s. I took a drag and blew the smoke out. “Tell me how you got this.”

He looked at me, shock robbing him of any ability to speak for a few long seconds. He finally sputtered, “How the hell did you know I had this scar?”

I shrugged. “Do you want me to tell you how you got it?”

“
No one knows that. Unless Jake told you. But why would that old shit come up?” He took his cigarette back. “You smoke like a fucking nerd.”

I grinned at him. “I am a nerd. And Jake did tell me.”

“
Why?” Saxon asked, and the look on his face was more anxiety than hope.

“
Do you want to know? Or do you want things to just suck? Forever? Because as much as you bitch about being unhappy, you sure seem to do everything you can to stay that way.” I watched him take another drag.

“
You’re such a bitch, Brenna.” He pointed his cigarette at me. “But you’re damn sexy. That makes your incessant bitching easier to take.”

“
And you’re shitty company. I’m going back to the dance. You know, the big prom, full of people? People who are at least pretending to be happy and dancing and having fun. That sounds preferable to being here, in this smoky-ass room listening to you whine about how awful your life is.” I turned to leave, but Saxon grabbed my hand.

He pulled my wrist up to his lips and kissed it. “Tell me what you know about my scar.”

“
I know that you and Jake became blood brothers.” I leaned close to him. “Because you wanted him to know that he was your brother, even if you didn’t really have the guts to tell him. But it worked.”

“
What do you mean?” He narrowed his eyes at me.

I shook my head at his dense inability to see the truth. “He figured it out. He knows. He’s always known.”

“
Jesus Christ, isn’t there anything you two haven’t fucking blabbed to each other about?” he snapped. He crushed his cigarette onto a china plate on the table and stalked out.

I watched Saxon leave and felt a strange chill settle over my skin. I walked back into the midst of the big, happy gathering, but my heart wasn’t into the dance. That changed when I saw Kelsie, who pulled me onto the dance floor, and made me forget Saxon’s drama for a little while. We danced until we glistened with sweat and had to go to the cooler bathrooms to put damp paper towels on our faces. I checked the hallways and the room Saxon had pulled me into, but he wasn’t around. Before I could worry too much, the DJ played something that made Kelsie drag me back onto the dance floor, and we didn’t stop for a second until the DJ took a break for dinner.

The meal was nice enough, but I couldn’t really enjoy it, since I kept craning my neck, trying to catch a glance of Saxon’s dark hair and all-black ensemble. I checked every table where any girl he’d chased in the last few weeks sat. It was an insanely long list, and I’m sure I forgot more than a few, but he was nowhere to be seen.

After dinner and a few more songs, I needed a break.

“
Kelsie, I’m going to take a walk outside. Get some fresh air.” I put my lips close to her ear so she could hear me.

“
Do you want company?” She fixed the flower in my hair absent-mindedly.

I did, but I could see her eyeing the dance floor. The lights had been dimmed, a slow song was playing, and Chris looked dapper in his tux.

“
No thanks. I’ll be back in a few minutes. I just need to cool off. Then more dancing?”

“
Definitely!” She squeezed my arm, kissed my cheek, and floated across the dance floor and into Chris’s waiting arms.

I went out into the open courtyard to breathe in some fresh air. I headed to the gazebo; this place had one just like the last place, complete with twinkle lights.

I climbed the springy wooden stairs and sat on one of the benches when I heard a scuffling noise beneath me. I leaned over the side and saw Saxon sitting in the mulch, a silver flask in his hand.

“
Hey, beautiful,” he slurred. “Whaz going on?”

“
Saxon, you’re drunk.” I leaned over farther and he smiled a huge, dopey grin.

“
You look pretty up there. Like some fiery goddess. Come on down, baby.” He waved at me clumsily. “I got more here for you.”

I walked back down the steps, around to the back of the gazebo and squatted down in front of him. The smell of liquor coming off of him was so strong it stung my eyes when he breathed out.

“
Wanna sip?” he offered, waving the flask under my nose.

“
No.” I took the flask out of his hand. “I don’t think you can drive. Did you drive?” He didn’t answer. I shook his shoulder. “Saxon, how did you get here?” I asked loudly, as if increased volume might push through his liquor-soaked brain.

“
My fucking bike.” He laughed to himself. “How’d’ya think, Blix?”

“
Well, can someone come and get you? Can someone come and drive you home?”

“
Lylee is screwing her way across the Mediterranean,” he said slowly. “And any friend I had, I screwed his girl. And girls don’t count as friends. Oh, ‘cept you, right,
buddy
?”

“
Right.” I got a lump in my throat when I thought about the sad truth of Saxon’s social life.

“
Sit by me, Blix.” He patted the mulch next to him. “Sit by your big fuck-up friend for a minute.”

I sat down next to him and put one arm around him. He leaned on my shoulder, then nestled his head against me and breathed in, a long, hard breath. “You smell so fuckingood.”

“
You need to get out of here.” I was a little worried. I hadn’t dealt with many drunk people, but Saxon seemed really drunk. I didn’t know if he might have alcohol poisoning, and I wasn’t sure how I was going to get him home. I didn’t want to involve any more adults than we had to. It would suck if Saxon got suspended or in bigger trouble because of this. It might be all the excuse he needed to just up and quit everything.

I felt a warm, wet splotch on my collarbone and realized he was drooling, happily, in his noisy sleep. What if he threw up and choked on it? I pulled my cell phone out and dialed quickly.