Joe Bruzzese (11 page)

With a stopwatch in hand (unless the parent is handling this), record the start time on the activity sheet, then proceed to the first destination on the list that follows.

After arriving at the locker, open it before recording the travel time in the area labeled “Drop-off spot to locker.” Shut the locker and continue traveling from location to location, using the record below as a guide.

Before admiring the total travel time, add an extra minute to each of the recorded travel times. Why? With potentially hundreds of other students crowding the halls, travel time will increase. Were any of the recorded travel times longer than four minutes? If so, suggest a few of the following time-saver tips.

Minimize locker trips
. Rather than visiting the locker after every other class, limit restocking trips to times when the locker is conveniently
located on the path to a class. Taking books for two or three classes may be a more efficient option, especially when the classrooms are close together.

Plan ahead
. Encourage your child to leave school with the supplies she will need for first period the following day. The morning hours can be unpredictable. Showing up late to first period is a tough way to start the day, particularly for the child who already struggles to get out of bed in the morning.

Avoid restroom repeats
. It may not be realistic to expect to use the restroom and visit the locker in the same passing period. Although at times your child won't be able to avoid the need to visit both spots, suggest saving restroom trips for longer breaks (snack break, lunch, and before P.E.).

As your child becomes more comfortable with middle school, you may notice an increased desire for independence—excluding, of course, the need for continued chauffeur service and the occasional request for funds. The influence of peers and the new middle school environment triggers change in adolescents. Within a few weeks of your child's starting school, you may notice a host of new personality traits cropping up. When you ask about homework, the typical middle schooler response is, “I've got it handled” or “I finished it all at school.” Kids are trying on their new role as aspiring, independent teens, which simply means they don't want help with anything that might make them look like a younger child, dependent on Mom and Dad. Middle schoolers are looking to make a clean break from the helping hands of their parents in nearly every area of their lives, from homework to social planning. As difficult as this sudden shift in persona can be for you as a parent, take comfort in the thought that, in time, your child will face challenges for which your ideas will be welcomed once again. Acknowledging the changes in your child's life as well as the need to shift your parenting mind-set can prevent hours of unnecessary
frustration for you both. Although at times it may seem as though your child no longer wants you close by, it's important to remember that she still needs you to fill a significant role in her life. Adolescents learn how to thrive through support and ongoing encouragement from parents. Without this critical piece in place, the emotional puzzle of adolescence can become overwhelming for kids. There's more to come in the following chapters on the topic of independence and the changing role of parents. But before moving our focus away from the school campus, there are a few additional quirks about the middle school day worth mentioning.

During the elementary school years, P.E. was probably a welcome relief from an otherwise steady diet of reading, writing, and math. In most cases a student's achievement was measured by her effort and a change of clothes wasn't required. The transition to a physical education period with a certified athletic instructor can be a startling addition to the middle school day. Teachers expect students to don a uniform
and
complete a series of written assignments
and
display exemplary effort during the physical challenges of each P.E. session. With the exception of a few schools that provide exemptions for students already involved in an athletic
sport, most students will be expected to include P.E. class as a part of their schedule. And yes, the class will be graded.

Most schools require students to change into school-issued uniforms. And yes, changing in the locker room with a complete group of strangers is part of the fun associated with middle school. The good news is that everyone feels equally uncomfortable as they scramble to get dressed. If changing makes your child feel uncomfortable, consider sharing a few of the following suggestions.

Start a conversation by asking, “Are you nervous about changing for P.E.?” If that question stirs feelings of anxiety, consider asking a second question, “Have you thought about wearing part of your uniform under your regular clothes?” If the Superman method of clothes swapping is not an option, discuss the possibility of finding a bathroom stall where changing might be a more private affair. Unfortunately, most locker rooms don't come equipped with enough stalls to accommodate everyone. Although the first few weeks may feel awkward, the initial shock of changing in front of a group of strangers wears off. Encourage your child to hang in there for a few weeks until the anxiety subsides.

P.E. uniforms tend to show signs of wear and tear by mid-year. Having a second set benefits you and your child—particularly when the first set misses its weekly trip to the washer. The extra set also comes in handy if the first set goes MIA. Washing a P.E. uniform takes minimal effort. Consider handing over the responsibility for this task to your child from day one. The consequences of having a smelly gym suit will provide plenty of motivation for learning this simple procedure.

Assuming responsibility for meeting a teacher's expectations doesn't end when the last bell rings. Eventually, all students come face-to-face with a healthy portion of study time in the after-school hours. Completing those assignments can keep students working late into the night. Wouldn't it be wonderful to know that all of your child's homework was completed before the midnight hour?

The reality of middle school for many kids is a struggle to manage their workload and the expectations of multiple teachers. The transition from elementary school, with one teacher and one classroom, to multiple classes and teachers creates a plethora of paperwork and increased pressure to stay organized.

Designating a consistent time for homework can add to the homework challenge. Many families' schedules don't allow them the luxury of eating dinner every night at 6:00
P.M
. followed by a few hours of uninterrupted homework time. If your child's after-school schedule varies, the homework schedule may need to vary as well. But the goal is to create a schedule and stick to it as often as possible. Recent research suggests that students who study in the same location for a consistent amount of time show far greater academic growth than students who continually vary both their study schedule and location. With a schedule in place and a consistent spot to get things done, the foundation is in place for efficient evening study sessions.

If the sight of your child staring blankly at a pile of textbooks raises your blood pressure, then consider trying the following
four steps for successful study time. Getting started can stymie the most diligent of students unless there is a plan in place. Sit with your child the first few times you try this set of strategies. Remember that although creating a list and prioritizing tasks may be second nature to most adults, adolescents may need a few guided practice sessions with an adult before they can use the strategies effectively. Steps one through three are designed to pave the way for an efficient study process that naturally guides a child into completing nightly homework. When your child reaches step four, he will already be well on the way to completing his homework.