Jase (18 page)

“Good,” I looked towards Carly and she looked away quickly.

The song ended and I walked away
leaving Jules on the dance floor.

I told the coordinator to serve dinner and he looked at me
strangely, “I’m Jase Steel, serve the fucking dinner.”
I was turning into such a dick!

I walked to the bar and got another beer. I stood back and watched Abe and Carly as they talked to Dom and Jules. This fucking sucked, and it was my idea. I mean everyone was having fun except me of course. I suddenly felt sorry for all the dudes who went to senior prom alone, poor bastards
.

I sat next to Abe at dinner
purposely on the other side of the table so that I could look at Carly. At this point I was sure I was making her uncomfortable so I forced myself to make small talk with a guy who ended up being in our IT department and he had no idea who I was, which I liked.

I noticed Carly yawn a few times and smiled, thinking of possible sleeping with her head on my chest again tonight, she looked down having caught me again.

After dinner Dom took the stage, I looked around and couldn’t find Carly. I finally found Abe, “Where is she?”

“She mentioned being tired…”

“Call her, this is it man,” Dom was just about to announce Steel Industries USA. I looked at Abe.

“She’
s heading home, she is tired and needs a break, and I get it-- she has been through,” I started towards the door. “Where are you going?”

“To find her.”

“Jase you’re pushing her too hard man.”

“Take care of this, I have to go.”

I ran outside and she was walking down the sidewalk, I motioned for a car and we pulled up beside her. I got out, “It’s freezing out here, let me give you a ride.”

She kept walking and I jogged up beside her, she was crying, “Baby
, what did I do?”

“Jase
you’re …I can’t do this with you, you’re going to break me. You said you wanted to be friends, and then you pull that crap with the mirror, you cut in while I am dancing with my boss or whatever he is, you stare at me during dinner, you need to stop. I am telling you I can’t handle this. I just got here two days ago and I’ve seen you both of those days. I want a chance to try to be whole again. My mom is gone! She died less than a week ago.”

She started to cry harder and I couldn’t help myself I grabbed her and carried her to the car. I gave the address to my driver and hoped to hell when the idiot said
Yes sir, Mr. Steel
she didn’t hear it.

I held her the entire way to her place, Randolp
h opened the door and I climbed out and held her hand. I took her key and unlocked the door and opened it for her. When I started to follow her she held her hand against my chest and stopped me.

“
Please don’t make me ask you to leave…”

“Carly I…”

“I won’t let you do this to her. I’m not going to stand in your way of being her father.”

“Carly, I’
ve spent five days total away from Bella in the past fourteen months, I…”

She looked at me, “I need time to heal, to be strong for me.”

“And I have some things I need to tell you before you find out and think…”

“No.”

She shut the door in my face and I stood there expecting her to open it like an idiot. After I could not feel my nose I walked back to the car and got in, “Home please.”

~

I was exhausted when I walked into the office at eight in the morning, some of it from the emotional fucking I took last night, some from the emotional fucking I did to myself, stressing over today’s expected train wreck, and some from the emotional fucking from Bella’s first tantrum. She didn’t understand why I wouldn’t let her come with me to work. She’d come every other Saturday morning with me. And she was pissed. Little feet stomping pissed, not quite the:
I hate you
thing yet, thank God because I would probably cry like a six year old little girl if that ever happened. If I kept trying to lead two lives it would, I know it would.

I
answered my phone at eight thirty. Nora my real receptionist was back from her family emergency. I was grateful Pam would not be there. Pam’s presence would not win any points.

“She’
s here, and she is early. Should I stall?”

“No, I will let Dom and Jules do
their thing and then have them give me a few minutes before they send her to me,” I hung up and seriously felt sick to my stomach.

My back was turned when Nora opened the door to let her in, I heard her si
t and I couldn’t bring myself to turn around,
what was I thinking? Oh fuck it!

I turned around and she looked
at me, “What are you doing here? Are you trying to ruin my life Jase, get out before Mr…” she stopped talking and I could tell the wheels were turning inside her head. She stood quickly and I bolted to the door and stood in front of it, I knew she was planning to escape, “Get out of my way!”

“Not until you listen to me
, Carly,” I snapped at her and I immediately regretted it.

“I hate you, you fucking…get out of my way or I will scream.”

“No you won’t,” I scowled and she did. She fucking screamed.

“LET. ME. OUT. NOW!”

“Scream all you want, I pay these people, so you will fucking listen to me! I have busted my ass for nine months to pull all this shit together and you will give me the fucking courtesy of a ten minute conversation!”

She reached into her bag and grabbed her phone, I was sure she was going to call the police.
I walked to my desk and sat in my chair, waiting.

“The time starts now, you have ten min
utes and then you stay away from me,” she was shaking, I was not sure if it was out of anger or fear but it blasted me.

“
Baby…”

“I am
NOT your Baby!”

“Miss
Smythe, is that fucking better?” She didn’t answer so I went on, “When I was supposed to meet you in Denver, my Grandmother died, my mom’s mother in Italy. Her lawyer called the shop and insisted we be informed of what was in her will.” I held nothing back, I told her every detail. She sat and listened looking down of course and playing with her hands but she was still listening, that was good right? Wrong, her alarm went off signaling that my ten minutes was up and she stood. I jumped up and ran to the door and stood there.

“Carly, the offer was made for the research department to be brought here before I even knew of your mother
’s passing. I never expected to lay all this on you when you were hurting. I haven’t been with anyone. I have built this with the idea that as hard as I worked for all this I would work ten times as hard to show you that I have done this for us. I love you. Waking up with you the other morning was a dream come true for me. I want to wake up every morning with your head on my chest.”

She still did not look up, “Please move,” her lip quivered.

“Baby, please don’t walk away from me,” I was begging and I didn’t care.

“Jase
, please move,” she asked again quietly.

“If you
’re leaving this opportunity because you hate me,” she closed her eyes tightly together and I paused. “Carly your work is needed here, so if you’re in love with Thomas,” she looked at me and was about to say something. “Wait, just hear me out. Charlotte is dying, from what I understand, which is not a lot, my background is not medical.”

“It’s not business either
, but you’re here aren’t you?”

“Actually, never mind, I’l
l save that for another time. Bella’s grandmother is dying. I have a file I’d like you to take a look at. My mother tells me it’s something I need to accept and if you tell me the same I will.”

Carly took the fold
er when I handed it to her, “I’m not promising you anything Jase. I will look but I don’t know if I can even stay working for you.”

“I won’
t be your boss,” I squatted down so that we were eye to eye, “I’m not your boss, I am a man who treasures you. If you can’t feel that way about me again, I love you enough to let you heal. Don’t leave here because of me, as a matter a fact I will leave so you don’t have to deal with my shit anymore.”

She looked up at me,
still shaking, and so very sad. She looked like she was empty and it scared me more for her than it did for me.

“Thomas will be here Monday,
” I looked at her and then away. “You listen to me Jase, he is a wonderful man and if you even look at him cross eyed I am out, he will come too.”

“You love him?”

“Yes,” she stopped and looked down at my fists clenching, “He lived with us, with my mother. They loved each other, I love him, and he loves me. We were a family, and he is all I have left of her. He and I loved her, and she loved us.” She began to shake, “Don’t disrespect him, and understand if it wasn’t for him I would not be staying on.”

I
shook my head yes I understood, “I’ll give you everything you need Carly, time, two thousand miles between us, or , my fucking heart. Whatever you need because I love you.”

I opened the door and she left.

15

On Sunday
, I received a text from Jase.

-I hate that you are going through this alone. I can be your friend if that’s all you want I can be that for you…Jase

-Thomas will be here soon, I’ll be fine…C

-
When you truly love someone you look into the mirror and you no longer see you and you alone. When love is that deep, that strong, you are not ever alone, even when they no longer walk with you. They are ingrained in you, not just a memory, a part of you forever….Jase

-Thank you…C

- I am working at the shop this week, Xavier has some things going on, if you need anything that’s where I’ll be…Jase

-Thank you…C

I read those texts over and over until Thomas showed up and I was glad he did. We spent the entire day unpacking boxes. His condo had been on the other side of the complex and it s
omehow
got changed so he was right next door.

We went through what he had brought from home, and we laughed and cried. Boy would she be
miffed at us, I laughed to myself knowing she would love me and Thomas forever.

I told Thomas all that had happened with Jase and he smiled softly, hugged me, and said, “The heart wants
what the heart wants. He is not going to leave you alone Carly, so if you want me to rough him up let me know.”

~

After showing Thomas around we dove into work. He laughed every time we couldn’t find something and I would call Janet. If the equipment wasn’t already here or we needed something more she filled out a form and gave us a date for when it would be delivered. After work Monday, I gave Thomas a copy of Charlotte’s file and asked that he look at it.

We worked for twelve hours straight every
day and on Friday, Janet came in at four and told us we needed to be out by five. She gave us a lame excuse and we of course accepted it.

“He thinks you need a break,” Thomas joked as we cleaned up.

“He shouldn’t have given me the file,” I rolled my eyes.

We walked out of the lab and I saw a little girl walking down the hall and then I saw Pam.
I looked at her and she looked up.

Bella smiled and stopped in
front of me, “Are you Carly?”

“Come on
, Little Bell,” Pam pulled her arm.

“Stop,” Bella pulled her hand away from Pam, “Hi,” she smiled at me.

I squatted down and smiled I stuck my hand out and shook hers. “It’s very nice to finally meet you Bella,”

Bella hugged me, and I froze for a moment an
d finally hugged her back, “I’ve missed you,” she whispered in my ear.

“I’m so sorry. Life has been crazy. I’
ve missed you too,” hugging her felt so good I didn’t want to stop.

“Your father is waiting for us,” Pam grabbed her hand trying to pry it off my neck.

I stood up holding her and I wanted to hit Pam for being gruff with her.

“Daddy has been helping at the shop all w
eek, he only comes here when I’m in bed.” Bella was holding so tight she almost choked me, “I want to stay with you,” she whispered.

Pam ro
lled her eyes and laughed, “I’ll take her, kids and their stories.”

“She
isn’t telling a story, Jase has not been here all week during the day. I’ll hang out with her, we will call her father…”

“You and Jase broke up months ago…”

“Pam, you need to keep in mind that Bella is right here,” I warned her and started walking away.

When Pam sta
rted walking down the hall someone stopped her and she swore at them. I kept walking holding Bella as we rode the elevator down to the first floor. I walked out the door holding her.

Thomas smiled at me, “I have plans tonight, call me tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” A car pulled up and the driver opened the door, “This your car?”

“Yes,” Bella whispered again.

We sat in the car and when it stopped in front of
Forever Steel
Jase opened the door, I looked up at him and he was angry. He was wearing loose worn jeans and a long-sleeved thermal shirt, it hugged his body and I could not help but smile. His anger diminished.

I stepped out with Bella still wrapped around me, “Sorry about this Carly, the office called and…”

“It’s fine, right Bella, we’re fine,” I pulled my head back and she looked up.

“Yes, we’
re fine,” she smiled the sweetest little smile and buried her head in my neck.

“Come here Little Bell, Carly probably has things to do,” he tried to avoid eye contact.

“Really I don’t, so I was thinking maybe I could take Bella out to dinner. I got my first real paycheck today. Would that be okay Jase?”

“Carly you need…”

“I need what? No don’t answer that, you’ll probably get all carried away,” I laughed and Bella smiled up at me.

“He does that you know.”

“Yeah I know. He can come too if he wants,” I looked at him and he looked up at the sky and let out a deep breath.

“Do you like my Dad?”

“I do,” I blushed.

“Do you love him?”

I whispered in her ear that it was a secret and she laughed.

Jase looked at me and I smiled, “So what do you say? Will y
ou let me take you two out to dinner?”

He shook his head yes
, “You give me an hour?”

“How about we order whatever Bella wants
, and eat here?”

“Sound
s good, perfect actually. Come in, it’s cold,” Jase opened the door and we walked in.

“You have to hurry though, Grandma is going to
take you to dance and then I’ll meet you at home okay?”

“
Can’t I skip?”

“No way, we stick to our commitments. Hey do I get a hug?”

“Do I get to skip?”

“No but…”

“Then can Carly go with me?”

“No sorry
, girl,” Jase pried her off of me, “Easy Bell you’ll hurt her.

“I
won’t hurt her I love her. Remember I told you that, Carly?”

“I think of that every
day,” I smiled and it was the truth.

“Okay,” Bella
looked at me sadly.

“I love you too,” I laughed and she smiled so big.

“Can you stay with us tonight?”

“Wow Bella
, let her breathe,” Jase was beet red.

“How
about you stay with me? Your Daddy probably has to work and I have no plans at all. So after dance, if your Dad says it’s alright you can come spend the night with me. If not we can definitely try another…”

“Dad says yes, order some food,” Jase said immediately and Bella hugged him and he looked up at me and mouthed I love you.

“I love you Jase,” Bella gasped and looked at me and Jase laughed.

“I love you both. D
o me a favor, order dinner and get your butts in the back, I’m supposed to be a bad ass remember.” Jase laughed and Bella shook her head disapproving of his language.

~

We ate Italian of course, and it was great. Joe walked into the employee lounge and was utterly shocked. She laughed and then cried, and Bella looked at me confused, which made me laugh. It was comical but very touching and Jase sat back with a smug ass look on his face, yeah the
see I told you
Mom look.

“I am spending the
night at Carly’s, Nana,” Bella beamed.

“You are?” Joe smiled at me.

“If it’s alright, I would love that.”

After lots of hugs, kisses, and a pinky promise that made me laugh, plans for the evening were confirmed, I was having a sleep over. I was just as excited as she was, seriously, I never did this when I was younger and Jane was the only female friend I had that ever crashed at my place.

When they left the shop Jase looked at me and smiled, “This has to be about us, Carly.” It kind of floored me, and I didn’t respond. I started to get embarrassed and then mad and he knew it, “Baby don’t get pissed at me already.” I looked at him and he rolled his eyes, “We can’t be this either.”

“Well Jase why don’t you tell me how it is you expect
me to act,” I could not believe he was doing this right now.

“We move past all the shit, we enjoy
each other, not just because…”

“Pam doesn’t get to be alone with
her anymore,” he looked shocked. “She was mean and if she ever treats her like that again--I will cut her.”

Jase smirked, “This place brings out the bad ass in you.”

“Not funny, and you Jase, are an idiot. This is about us, it was …”

“That’s the thing
, if you need time it can’t be balls to the wall. If you want this,” he pointed to me and him, “to go slow you probably should slow it down with Bella. I know the meeting wasn’t planned and I’m grateful you took care of the situation and I will be dealing with Pam, what the fuck was she trying to do!”

“I think you are getting
nervous Jase, which is crazy. You’ve been pushing, sending texts like you did Sunday and then falling off the face of the earth…”

“That text had a double meaning Carly. I know
how you feel about your mother. I felt the same shit when Dad died. Except I had the guilt to add to all that fucking pain. But check this, I feel the same way about you. You don’t complete me, like that movie line: You are my everything, the driving force behind all the shit you see around here now. I want to be the man who you look at and know will catch you when you fall, and not just literally. I want to be your shoulder, and your rock. The center of your world
and
the one who surrounds it. I want to fucking own you and for you to allow it, because God knows you already own me.” Jase grabbed my face and his eyes were burning, “When I have been kicked in the balls all week and I feel like my world is crumbling around me and have to force myself to be fucking strong, I need you to let me fall into you.”

“And only me,” my voice
trembled.

“No one else, ever.”

He kissed me, starting on my cheek. Sweetly, adoringly, lovingly, he kissed my nose, my forehead and then my lips. His lips covered mine surrounding them, gently sucking them. His tongue licked my lips and then stroked my tongue. I really didn’t mean to but I moaned and he pulled back and clenched his teeth.

His eyes were glazed and hooded, “I am going to take you and
you’re going to let me.” His hand ran down my back and he squeezed my ass hard as he lifted me onto the table. He kissed me hard and then stepped back, closed his eyes, and groaned before he walked out of the room.

I will not speak, I will not
speak, I will not speak,
I told myself over and over again. I did not want to mess this up by saying the wrong thing.

Jase opened the door and I looked behind him, the shop was dark. He walked up to me as he pulled his thermal shirt over his head. I noticed he had a new tattoo running up his left side, it was all black and I was about ready to ask him if I
could see it when he kissed me and started to unbutton my blouse. He removed it and my bra and stood back looking at me as he undid his jeans and pulled them down along with his black boxer briefs. He was absolutely beautiful. He lifted me up and held me against him as he unzipped my skirt and pushed it down. My breasts rubbed against his and they burned, they were heavy and my nipples were so hard it was almost painful.

He snapped the
strings on my underwear and sat me back on the table. He pulled my knees apart and rubbed his rock hard cock against me. He licked his lips and kissed me moving from my lips to my neck, as he continued to rub himself up and down me. He took my breast in his mouth: sucking at first, it was gentle, and he moved to the next and did the same. When I moaned, he bit down and groaned against my chest. He moved down my stomach and then licked an imaginary line between my hips and then down. He stroked his tongue from back to front over and over groaning as his tongue dipped deeper and deeper into me. My hands gripped the edge of the table and I felt the warmth deep inside me begin to burn and spread throughout me before it was radiating throughout my entire being.

He kissed my thighs and up my stomach.

He licked his lips, “So fucking good,” he growled, and grabbed my face and kissed me. I could taste myself on his lips, “I could do that to you all night long,” his finger circled around my clit, and then he lowered it and pushed it deep inside me. I felt myself clench around him. “So fucking tight,” he laid me down kissing me and he slipped another finger in. He bit his lip and his nostril flared.

W
hen I finally couldn’t hold back the noises brewing deep inside my chest, he pulled his fingers out and grabbed his pants and pulled a silver foiled package out of his pocket and ripped it open with his teeth. My knees pulled tightly around his hips, the burn was too much. He slid the condom down him and pulled the end out, and grabbed me behind the knees bringing my heels up around him. He leaned over and nipped my pebbled nipples and my legs fell open impudently-- I swear I had nothing to do with it. He rubbed himself across my clit and I whimpered. I opened my tightly closed eyes and he was flush and his pecks flexed as he pushed into me. My mouth opened and I silently yelled.