Jacob Two-Two and the Dinosaur (8 page)

CHAPTER 16

tumbling down a hill in the first light of dawn, the straps of his backpack biting into his shoulders, Jacob Two-Two ran into a small figure carrying a white flag and a suitcase. It was Professor Wacko Kilowatt.

“Hi there, Jakey-baby. How good to see you.” “I’ll bet,” Jacob Two-Two said. “I’ll bet.”

“We’ve got to talk fast, kiddo. Perry P. and his dragon-slaying unit are only a couple of hours behind us.”

“What’s there to talk about? What’s there to talk about?”

“I’ve been worried about you, Jakey.”

“Since when did you become so fond of kids?”

“Well, Jakey, kids are a nuisance and that’s the truth, but there is hope. Scientifically speaking, on average, kids grow one year older every year. In fact, twenty years after they are born all kids become adults and therefore acceptable company. Isn’t that wonderful news?”

Jacob Two-Two groaned.

“Look, I brought prezzies and some things for a picnic.” Wacko sat down on the grass and began to pull things out of his suitcase. A stuffed bunny rabbit.

“Oh, no,” Jacob Two-Two said.

A jump rope. A Sony Walkman. And, finally, good things to eat. Smoked salmon. Chopped egg sandwiches. Potato chips. Chocolate bars. Jacob Two-Two dug in greedily.

“Incidentally,” Wacko asked, as if he had just remembered, “how’s your friend Dippy?”

“He’s not my friend anymore.”

“Hardly surprising. I never trusted him. He has the most dishonest green face I ever saw.”

“He threw me out of camp,” Jacob Two-Two said.

“Why, that ungrateful dumb dino! After all you did for him!”

“Yes,” Jacob Two-Two said, feeling absolutely miserable.

“I’m going to let you in on a secret, kid. It’s time Jacob Two-Two and Wacko learned to look after themselves.”

“How? How?”

“Do you see any point in blowing up Dippy to kingdom come?”

“No,” Jacob Two-Two said in a small voice.

“What we want to do is take that beast alive. Cage the monster! Then we charge people to see him. A genuine
Diplodocus
! A vicious prehistoric beast weighing ten tons, with brains the size of a peanut!”

Poor Dippy, Jacob Two-Two thought.

“Say we attract two thousand suckers a day at five bucks each. Wait,” Wacko said, pulling out his calculator. “That makes seventy thousand dollars a week, less expenses, my manager’s fees, and so forth. We could be partners. Share and share alike. How much is your allowance, Jakey-baby?”

“Two dollars a week.”

“I’ll give you fifty dollars a week. How about that?”

“What do I have to do for all that money?”

“Lead the brute into a cage, that’s all. I’ll handle everything else.” Wacko pulled a contract out of his pocket. “Sign here, kiddo.”

“I don’t know, Wacko. I don’t think Dippy would like being held in a cage.”

“It’s either being caged by us or pulverized by Perry P. We’d be doing him a favor.”

Jacob Two-Two began to sob.

“What’s wrong?” Wacko asked.

“You don’t know how difficult it’s been for me these past few weeks, stuck out in the wilds with a dumb dinosaur. I never had anybody to play with.”

“Sign here, partner, and I’ll play with you.”

“Would you play with me now?”

“Jakey,” Wacko said, glancing at his wristwatch, “Perry P. and his army will strike within the hour. We haven’t got much time.”

“Would you please play with me for only ten minutes?”

“And then you’ll sign?”

“Yes.”

“What do you want to play?”

“Hide-and-seek. You’re it.”

“What do I do?”

“Lay your head against that tree, shut your eyes tight, count to a hundred, then come and find me.”

“You mustn’t go too far. We have to hurry.”

“I won’t. I won’t.”

“Okay,” Wacko said, leaning against the tree, his head hidden in his arms. “Starting. One. Two. Three. Four …”

Jacob Two-Two leaped up, grabbed the jump rope, and wound it around and around Wacko, knotting it tight.

“Hey,” Wacko said, “what’s going on here?”

“Nobody’s going to cage or pulverize Dippy. I’m going to find him and-lead him to safety in the Rockies of B.C. So long, Wacko.”

“Come back, Jacob. Come back at once!” But Jacob Two-Two was gone.

CHAPTER 17

ippy! Dippy!”

Jacob Two-Two ran. He ran and ran. He ran all the way back to camp, but he was too late.

Dippy was gone.

“Oh, Dippy,” Jacob Two-Two cried, “I didn’t mean any of the things I said. I love you.”

Obviously, before he had quit the camp, Dippy had suffered a temper tantrum. Uprooted trees were strewn about the fields here, there, and everywhere. Wandering amidst the fallen trees, Jacob Two-Two stumbled on the last things left in the camp where
they had once been so happy together. There were the
WANTED
posters he had brought back from the convenience store that time. The
VICIOUS, VILE DRAGON AT LARGE
poster was intact, but not the poster saying
WANTED, DEAD OR ALIVE, CANADA’S MOST DANGEROUS DESPERADO
. Dippy had torn Jacob Two-Two’s picture out of that poster. Obviously he had taken it with him.

Oh, my
, Jacob Two-Two thought, tears of joy coming to his eyes.
I’m forgiven. I’m forgiven
. His heart soared. He wanted to cheer. But just then a helicopter swooped out of the sky and landed nearby. Four combat-ready soldiers leaped out of it.

“There’s the desperado!”

Even as Jacob Two-Two struggled, howling and kicking, they dumped him into the helicopter and took off again, rising over the trees strewn here, there, and everywhere.

“I don’t care,” Jacob Two-Two said. “Dippy’s safe. You’ll never catch him now. Yippee for B.C.!”

Then all at once the helicopter began to rock in the sky.

The next mountain peak trembled with explosions. Debris flew into the air. Smoke spiraled into the sky. Then the bombers flew over the peak again,
unloading even more of their deadly missiles. The mountain peak shook and trembled once more.

“Well, that’s it,” a soldier said. “He’s been pulverized.”

“The dragon is no more!”

CHAPTER 18

erry Pleaser’s face filled the TV screen. “Hurray for me,” he said. “I’m now a hero, just like Saint George.”

Yes, called out the yes women, standing in the background, and yes, called out the yes men, too.

“You can show how pleased you are by putting up statues of me on the main streets of all your cities. I won’t object. You can also compose symphonies in my praise. Or operas, if you prefer. I’m sorry the beast’s final death struggle could not be shown on TV, but it was just too, too ghastly. There was blood and gristle everywhere. I mean, boy, did I ever pulverize him! So
now, my people, you can sleep easily in your beds. You are safe. Why, I was even able to save that poor, innocent boy the dragon had so cruelly kidnapped. Yes, Jacob Two-Two is home again. With no thought for my personal safety, I charged in and plucked the child from the dragon’s claws. Fearless, that’s me. Vote for Perry Pleaser, your hero and mine. Thank you very much and now, good night, fans.”