Authors: Amanda Anderson
Copyright © 2016 by Amanda Anderson
All rights reserved, except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the author.
The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of copyrighted material is illegal. Criminal copyright infringement is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by up to 5 years in prison and $250,000 in fines.
This book is a work of fiction and any similarities to persons living or dead, places, incidents are completely coincidental and not intended by the author.
Printed in the United States of America
Other Works by this Author
Full length Novels
A Beautifully Normal Life
In Love With The Wrong Cowboy
Too Much Trouble
Life, Love, and Second Chances
An Alaska Thing
Something About Alaska
The Tiger Series
The Tiger Within (Book 1)
Highland Tigress (Book 2)
Captive Tigress (Book 3)
Stripes (Anthology Containing Books 1-3)
Freeing the Tiger’s Soul (Book 4)
Defenders MC Series
Redemption of a Soiled Dove
Taming a Montana Maverick
One Good Cowboy
I would like to say thank you for making this series such a huge success. When I first started writing Shadow, I had no idea this would go so far. I had only expected to write one book, but once I got into it and fell in love with the characters I saw that I needed to tell their stories too and it grew from there.
Thank you for the many emails and messages and even a few sweet gifts that you all have sent in appreciation for this series. It means so much to know that these characters have touched your lives as much as they have touched mine.
Viki rushed to clean up the clubhouse before the rest of the brothers got back from a run they were on. She hated being around them anytime, but they were worse after a run. It was like they were all high on something, well something more than they usually were. She hated them. She hated the way she had to pretend she didn’t. Hated how they expected her to pretend to want them like they were gods of the road or something. Hated the way she was expected to greet them like heroes the way the club girls did and offer them anything they wanted just for the privilege of being fucked by a brother. She was no club girl and she saw nothing special about the way any of these men treated their women, well most of them. There were a few, but they were certainly not the norm around this place. No, these men were arrogant bastards who thought of women as property and used them like objects. Viki couldn’t see how any of these women could stand to look at themselves in the mirror, Viki was finding it harder every day and she had a real reason to be here.
She had someone who depended on her, someone worth far more than her own self-respect and it was a good thing that wasn’t required.
She was no better than a prostitute and had been for almost a year, a prostitute and a servant, but this wasn’t her life. She was just doing her job and when the day ended she would go home. Home to better things and far better people.
She dragged the garbage bag along with her. These bastards were slobs. She hated all of them even more for that. They felt that they were even too good to pick up after themselves. Self-important bastards that they were, thought a woman should come behind them with a hopeful grin, hoping she would be chosen to clean up after them.
This was way worse than cleaning up at the motel, but the money was better, even if she did suffer through being touched by some of them. The money made it impossible for her to walk away.
She gritted her teeth against the disgust she felt, not only for the men who lived in the clubhouse, but for herself and those who had put her in this position. How had she ever survived in life being so naïve? This life had certainly thrown her for a loop. She had been a fool when she’d first started working for the club. She had told herself that maybe she could make one of them care, maybe he could offer to protect her, but no. Tommy had shown her how important she was to him. He had thrown her away like garbage as soon as his precious Willa stepped into sight. Looking back she wasn’t even sure he’d even called her by name, just turned her around and used her, but at least he’d done it in private and at least he’d tried to make it good for her too. The others didn’t care if she felt anything at all, and that was the best of it, some liked to make her scream.
She felt tears burn the backs of her eyes. She felt so dirty that she wasn’t sure she would ever be clean again. She would never be fit for a decent man that’s for sure, but after this she wouldn’t think of another man, how would she ever be able to stand the touch of anyone after this hell she’d forced herself to live in?
She pushed out a heavy breath.
Not all men were bad though, she had to remember that. She had to make sure Bobby grew up to be a good one.
She tried to think of any other man she knew that she could honestly call good. Her mom had said her father was a great man and maybe he was, but he’d died in a friendly fire maneuver just after Viki had been born so she couldn’t say for sure. The men she had dated back in the tiny town she’d grown up in sure didn’t qualify, although they weren’t in the same category with the men of the club, they were still shitbags. Her sister Jen sure hadn’t found a good one either, since the man she’d been married to had ultimately taken her life.
Viki shook off the thought of her sister. The pain was still too hard to bear and the fear all too real.
There had to be someone. A few of the brothers seemed to be good to their women, but they still seemed scary to Viki.
Jack had been kind to her at first, but they only wanted sex. These men were driven by the thrill of living on the fringe of life, by the drugs and the violence and the plentiful sex. They were anything but civilized and that had been part of the reason Viki had wanted to get close to them, but there was no honor in these men, they wouldn’t inconvenience themselves to help her. They were all the same. Jack had proven it too. They only saw her as a receptacle for their release and the butt of their lude jokes. Nothing better than a toilet to spew their fluids into and be forgotten as soon as they zip up.
She felt her stomach roll at the thought of the morning Jack had proven himself no better than the others. She’d been in the kitchen washing dishes for Ginger. Ginger was an old lady, but she had never treated Viki like a servant like some did and she had never acted like Viki was invisible either, that was rare. It had been past time for Viki to leave, but she’d wanted to finish up a few things before she’d gone. Ink had been in and accident and Viki was trying to help Ginger out as much as she could, since she had been tasked with watching the children. Ginger was an amazing woman, but had never had children of her own and the stress of watching over more than one was starting to get to her. Jack had strolled in and bent Viki over the sink. He hadn’t even said a word to her, just pushed her over until her shift had soaked up the dirty dishwater and she’d had to turn her face to keep her nose out of the suds. She had smelled the liquor on his breath, but how could a man that had always seemed, if not kind at least not cruel, turn so cold and unfeeling?
He had gritted out Jazz’s name when he finished and pushed her away with a curse. He’d looked at her as she’d remained bent over the sink, not daring to move. She remembered the feel of his release trickling down her thighs and realized he’d neglected to protect her.
“You bastard.” She’d whispered as tears clogged her throat.
She’d stood and faced him only to see a look of horror and disgust on his face. She’d rushed to the bathroom to clean up and he’d been gone when she’d gone back to the kitchen.
No. He just didn’t see her as a person. Just like the others. She was a substitute for what he really wanted.
It was the last time he’d touched her and Viki told herself she was glad of it, but she missed the way he had once touched her. Just like Tommy, he had only used her and she had been a fool to think a man like that could ever feel anything for the club mouse. She wasn’t worth a second thought.
Viki looked down at her watch and cursed. She had to finish up before they all got back or she would be stuck at the clubhouse taking care of their disgusting needs and she had to get home.
She had finished the beds and the kitchen was clean, but the other mice had been asked to stay the night before for the party. Apparently a couple of the club girls were sick and they needed extra pussy for the guys. Viki felt like she should do the extra cleaning. It wasn’t likely the other two ‘mice’ would feel much like cleaning today, if they came in at all. The sweet butts had done most of the heavy cleaning as part of their thanks for being allowed to stay for the party, but there were a few things that they missed, as always.
Like the bathroom next to Preach’s office. Apparently.
Viki let out a long breath and set the trash bag on the floor. She pulled out her rubber gloves from her cleaning caddy and got to work.
It took her almost an hour to clean up the bathroom. Condoms, drug baggies, vomit and things she didn’t even want to think about had all been cleaned up and now she would be late getting home, again.
This place was a dump and no amount of cleaning would make it anything more than that, but that’s what the guys liked. They were like overgrown children. They demanded they get their own way no matter what they had to do or who they had to step on to get it. She really hated them.
“Look at that boys. Nothing like a nice round ass to look at in the morning.” Lambhead said as he plopped down on the couch and tossed the lid to his beer bottle at Viki as she made her way to the kitchen to get rid of the garbage. It hit her on the leg and even though it burned like fire she didn’t flinch. She just kept moving.
No fear. She couldn’t show them that they got to her.
“Hey bitch, I’m talkin’ to you.” He said louder.
Viki stopped. She knew what was coming and she knew that nothing she could do would stop it. She hated this job.
“My shift is over. I’m going home.” She said through gritted teeth.
“I don’t give a fuck if you’re on the clock or not, but you’re about to be on this cock.” Hank laughed as he made his stupid joke and the others joined him. She could tolerate Lambhead to a point, but the others in his little group made her sick.
She started pushing herself into the box in her head. That’s where she kept all of herself when these monsters touched her. It’s where they couldn’t reach her. Naughty had taught her that trick not long after she’d started working for the club. Naughty was probably the only person who actually saw her. Well her and Mrs.
Her eyes searched the room, landing on the only man that had ever shown her any kindness in this hell.
Jack, but he had proven his worth too. All the same. No one would help her here. So why did he always seem to watch her? Why did he offer her that hope only to jerk it away? Maybe he liked that and in her mind that made him crueler than the others.
He was staring right at her. His knuckles had gone white on the bottle in his hand. It wasn’t the first time she had seen him react strangely to one of his brothers’ advances, but it still made no sense.
“Get that ass over here.” Lambhead ordered and Viki flinched. He liked to show her he was in control and he liked to humiliate her in front of his little crew.
“Not now Lamb. I need Viki right now Sugar. I’m sure you can find somewhere else to dip your wick.”
Mrs. spoke lightly as she breezed into the clubhouse. Lambhead grumbled, but nobody argued with Mrs.
“Thank you.” Viki whispered when Mrs. pulled her into the kitchen.
“You have to stop that. If it had been anyone other than Lambhead and those prospects I wouldn’t have stopped them. You knew the job when you took it and you can’t look like they are killing you every time they touch you. It gives them power. Take a lesson from Rena. She’s scarier than they are and most don’t even dare touch her.”
“I guess I didn’t realize…” Viki thought of the woman with the bright red lips and glossy blonde hair. She was a scary woman for sure.
Mrs. grabbed her arm and turned her around. “Listen to me. If you want out then you just say so. You aren’t like those club whores that party here all night. I hired you to clean and I know that there is more to the job than you had expected, but I was very clear before you started working. The other two seem to like the attention more than you do so I think we need to rethink this situation.”
“Yes ma’am. I know and I do need the work. I’ll try harder, I swear I will.”
Mrs. grinned a heartwarming grin and patted Viki’s cheek. “Just block it out sweetheart. It’s just dick. It’s what pussy was made for. Slap on a smile and think about what you’re fixing for dinner or what color you want to paint your nails when you get home.”
Viki couldn’t help but laugh. Her life was total shit, but this woman was as hard as stone and she made the best of a life that would make most women hard and bitter.
“Thanks for the encouragement.” She said dryly.
“Hell sweetheart. Nothing in this life is encouraging. Find a good man and live the way you can. This is just one little stop on your road sugar. Just one little stop. I hope it’s the worst you ever have to live through, but don’t let it kill your spirit, don’t let it win. Take this shit and learn something from it.”
“Thank you Mrs. I’m sorry. I just hate the way they touch me. I don’t see how all those girls can act like they love it when all I want to do is throw up.”
“Honey, this is all they have ever dreamed of. They think this is some glamourous gig instead of what it really is. It’s just a life. They’ve got it in their heads that living like this can make them different people, but it can’t. You bring your character with you and no matter where you live or what kind of life you live it really depends on you.” Mrs. cupped Viki’s cheeks. “You’re smarter than them and got a hell of a lot more substance. Substance is something those bitches just can’t seem to figure out. I like you and I hate seein’ you look so hopeless. There is always hope, until you stop fighting for it.”
Viki took a deep breath. Mrs. was right. “Thank you.”
“You are too young and too smart to live in this shithole. How about we talk about a new schedule? Let the ones who mess up the beds clean that shit up. I think it’s time we found you something else to do. Maybe use that brain a little more.”
“I would really appreciate that Mrs.”
“I know how you feel sweetie. Life is shit. You have to get through it. Find the parts that are worth living through the shit for.”
One of the club girls staggered into the kitchen and let out a giggle.
“Awww how sweet. Its mother and the little mouse.” She kicked over the garbage bag and bottles spilled out on the floor. “Oops.”
Mrs’ charming disposition vanished. She walked to the whore and slapped her across the face as hard as she could and laughed.