It Must Have Been Love (9 page)

When the piano notes began, a collective ‘aah’ ran throughout the room followed by silence. “Wise men say, only fools rush in, but I can’t help falling in love with you.”

As Elvis and Chris performed their duet to a captivated audience, Angie couldn’t hold back the tears. Through jubilant smiles the rivers of tears streamed down her face. There was a slight hint of nerves in Chris’ voice as he delivered the most important performance of the evening. Even where previously he had struggled, this song suited his voice perfectly. Proudly watching her only grandson’s performance, Chris’ grandmother held a small handkerchief to her nose. Life’s hardships had left their mark on her and tears didn’t come so easy anymore, but she still had emotions, and today they were working overtime. Though she didn’t often say it, when she looked into his eyes, she saw a combination of her late husband and Chris’ mother. He had inherited their looks, their happy nature, and their steadfast will never to give up. Not normally given to self-praise, Emma Scott was unashamedly proud; both of the way she had brought Chris up and of how he had turned out as a result.

When the melody had come to end, it signaled the end of the evening reception. It was unanimously agreed that the last performance of the evening had been the best. Everyone commented on what a wonderful day it had been, and everyone left in high spirits. Precious moments that could never be repeated had been captured in photographs displayed in a beautifully decorated white wedding album. One day, Angie and Chris would show their children the pictures and rekindle the emotions of that day. At least that was their plan.

Rolling her wedding ring around and around her finger, the sight of the discount store told Angie that the bus was nearly at her stop. Butterflies dancing around her stomach, Angie rehearsed what she might say when she came face to face with Chris again.

Once off the bus, Angie was keen to get to the hospital and speak to Chris, but had to fight the growing fatigue, which had been brought on by the emotional roller coaster she was on. One moment she was high as a kite, full of romantic dreams of happy endings. The next moment her spirits were floundering, negative thoughts overwhelming her brain. By the time she had reached her destination, she was on the verge of exhaustion. Fumbling into her bag, Angie retrieved the small chocolate bar, which she devoured quickly. She hoped that a sugar rush might do the trick, but it had barely any effect at all.

Entering the hospital, hopefully for the last time, Angie took the stairs to the fourth floor. She was finding the stairs a little harder to climb this time around, and when she     reached floor two she stopped for a moment to catch her breath. Faced with the choices of giving in to the bone-aching weariness and sitting down on the stairs, surrendering to the tiredness and taking the dreaded elevator, or marching bravely on, she chose the third option. Nothing would stand in her way, and as she continued climbing the mountainous stairway, one particular corny quote that Chris had picked up from a seminar rang in her head.

“A winner never quits and a quitter never wins,” Chris would preach.

Angie admired Chris’ continuing attempts to better himself personally and professionally. Chris was never afraid to try something new and had big plans for their future. In the early years of her marriage, motivational seminars were a big thing. She had attended a couple of seminars with Chris, but soon discovered that it just wasn’t her cup of tea. It appeared to Angie that many of the speakers had become rich and successful largely on the back of the gigantic fees that they charged their audience for attending their seminars. Chris was nobody’s fool and also saw through the hype. However, he enjoyed the positive vibes whipped up by the speakers, he usually gleaned at least some useful information, and he always came away with a fresh inspirational quote to add to his collection.

In the latter years of their marriage whenever life was getting the better of Angie, Chris would come up with one of his overused quotes. She’d grit her teeth and resist the urge to tell him to shut up, because although she knew that he meant well, what she really wanted was a big warm hug. She would cut him off curtly midway through his sermon and that would cause a huge argument. He would storm out almost taking the door off its hinges, she would cry until tears ran dry. In the end, he gave up trying to talk and she gave up trying to listen. They had both forgotten his favorite cliché, and they had both begun to quit on their marriage.

“You were right, Chris. A winner never quits and a quitter never wins,”
Angie said quietly, as she puffed and panted her way up the final stairs to the fourth floor.

Bursting confidently through the double doors towards the nurse’s station, Angie was tempted to bypass the formalities and charge along the corridor to see Chris. However, common sense prevailed, so instead she glanced around in all directions. At first, there was no sign of the trusty nurse Louise. Singing slightly off key, an unmistakable voice echoed down the corridor. Gradually getting louder and louder, the semi-melodious racket signaled to Angie that Louise would be with her at any moment.

“Well hello again,” said the effervescent Louise. Dropping the discarded chewing gum wrapper she’d found into the wastebasket, she continued, “I don’t know why people don’t throw their litter in the trash. Oops watch out, grumpy alert,” she laughed.

“You’re always so cheerful, Louise, I don’t know how you manage it,” Angie told her with sincere admiration.

“I’ve just learned through experience that it’s much easier to deal with what life throws at you if you can keep smiling. It’s not always easy, and it doesn’t always work either. You should see me when I’ve just woken up,” Louise responded while at the same time giggling and pulling a silly face. “Your husband’s a bit of a joker, though. He’s had all of the staff and the patients laughing, although I suspect that some of his jokes are older than most of our patients.”

This came as great news to Angie as it sounded more like the old Chris she knew. This could mean that he was getting back to normal and therefore might remember her. However, the down side to that could be that he still felt the way he did just prior to his accident. Angie had pictured her life if Chris had been killed, and now she couldn’t contemplate life without him. Chris had most probably not shared this revelation, having spent most of his time since the accident fast asleep. No matter how Chris reacted when she saw him again, Angie would not quit.

“Come on then, let’s get you to your husband.”

The two women wandered casually down the corridor chatting as they went. “I just want to thank you for being so kind, Louise. I’ve decided that even if Chris still can’t remember me I’m not giving up on us. I want him to come back home so I can look after him until he’s better.”

“I’m sure that’s a great idea, but you’ll need to be patient, amnesia’s a strange thing. Sometimes it’s easy to think that if you tell an amnesiac about an event enough times they’ll suddenly remember it, but it’s not so simple. You could tell him a hundred times about your wedding day, but it won’t make a difference unless he remembers it himself. If you can accept that, then you’re off to a good start. Some amnesiacs get really frustrated, when they can’t remember things no matter how hard they try. You might have to be prepared to deal with some very bad moods.”

“Oh well, no change there then,” Angie laughed, “I had nothing but bad moods from Chris before he moved out.”

The two women looked at each other then simultaneously laughed aloud as they finally reached Chris’ room. Entering the room together, Louise waited at the open door until she saw how Chris would react. Angie felt somewhat conspicuous as all four bed occupants stopped what they were doing, eyes following her as she clanked her way noisily across the floor. Witnessing Chris’ smile of recognition towards Angie, Louise figured his memory was now back to normal and decided to leave them alone.

“Hi, darling, I wondered when you were coming to see me. I’d almost given up hope. Please say you’ve come to take me home. I can’t wait to get back in my own bed. A nurse told me you’d been, but I corrected her. I’d know it if my own wife had been to see me wouldn’t I?”

Today was getting crazier by the minute. Only a few hours ago Chris didn’t even know who she was. Now, although he knew who she was, he was behaving like he did in the good old days. The sarcasm and bitterness he’d so readily displayed in recent times had gone, like he’d forgotten that they were now living apart. He was busily chattering away and she couldn’t get a word in edgeways, but his babblings had left Angie wondering exactly what she should say next. It had taken ages for Angie to work out how she would convince Chris to come home if he didn’t know her. She had even worked out how she’d persuade him to come home if he remembered her but was still distant towards her. The problem now appeared to be that Chris still believed they were happily married. For one brief moment, Angie toyed with the idea of going along with the façade. Taking Chris home and acting like they’d never split up might seem like the perfect solution, but in a second Angie realized it wouldn’t work. For one thing, they couldn’t build their future on a lie, and sooner or later, if Chris didn’t remember, then someone would be sure to say something to give the game away.

There was now a new dilemma facing Angie. How exactly do you tell your husband that you’ve recently split up, even though he can’t remember?

“I did come to see you earlier, Chris, don’t you remember?”

“Don’t joke with me, Angie, it’s not funny. I just want to get out of here. If they think I’m forgetting things they’ll want to keep me in longer. All I have to do is sign a few forms, they’ll bring me a wheelchair, and then you can take me home.”

“I’ll be back in a moment, Chris. I just need a word with Louise, and then we’ll get you sorted.” Angie hurried down the corridor to find Louise, hoping that she might have some useful advice for her. It looked like Louise was preparing to finish her shift and that Angie had caught her just in time.

“All sorted then, does he remember you now?”

“Oh yeah, he remembers me alright. The trouble is he remembers me pre trial separation. He thinks we’re still happily living together. What do I do now?” Angie puzzled.

“Well, Angie, I don’t know what to say. It’s not often I’m stuck for an answer, but this has really thrown me. One thing’s for sure, you can’t go talking about this stuff in a room full of strangers. I say that we should get Christopher into a wheelchair and take you two somewhere more private. That’ll give you time to figure out what the next step is.”

It was apparent that the effervescent Nurse Louise Brannagan seemed to have lost her fizz. There were no witty remarks or jokey smiles from this ordinarily perky nurse. Angie felt the comforting touch of the nurse’s hand on her arm, but still she remained poker faced.

“We had this put in here ready for you to take him home,” the nurse said, as she produced a folded wheelchair from the room behind the nurse’s station. Opening up the wheelchair, Louise pushed it along the corridor, while Angie walked nervously by her side. She still wasn’t sure how she was going to handle the situation, but soon she would need to make a decision.

“Oh you’re back. I thought you’d changed your mind and ran off without me,” Chris joked, as Angie and Louise entered the room and heading towards him.

“Your chariot awaits,” Louise told Chris, as she pushed the wheelchair close up to his bed.

Angie noticed that Louise had returned to her natural self and was giving no indication that anything was wrong, either to Chris or to anyone else in the room. Instead, the nurse remained calm, helping Chris carefully into the wheelchair. Wheeling him slowly out of the room, Louise pushed Chris into an empty side room as Angie followed close behind.

“Alright, I’ll leave you two here to talk while I go fetch some coffee. You won’t be disturbed in here,” Louise reassured the couple as she left, sliding the black plastic slider on the door sign from vacant to occupied, before closing the door behind her.

Now alone, there was an embarrassing silence that seemed to last forever. Chris seemed totally bewildered by what was going on, and Angie knew that she would have to break the silence. Dragging a comfortably padded office chair noisily along the floor by its wooden arms, she positioned it close up to Chris and his wheelchair. Sitting down and clearing her throat nervously, Angie really didn’t know where to start.

“Chris, what do you remember about us?”

“What sort of question is that, Angie? What do you mean, what do I remember about us?” Chris sounded irritated by her question.

“I mean what I said, Chris. I’m not trying to be funny or anything like that. I just want you to tell me what you remember about us,” Angie asked, in a gentle but more serious tone.