Invisible Love Letter (24 page)

I hesitated for half a second, but the words spilled out of my mouth. “Tell me not to do it.”

“Do what?”

“Tell me not to marry him.” I shifted my body so I faced him. “Tell me there’s still a chance for you and me.”

I didn’t know if it was the possibility of us being together or seeing him with Lyra, but in that moment I wanted that life. I wanted him to scoop me in his arms and tell me I was his, that he was mine, that he wanted us to be a family. That everything in our past would stay there and we could start fresh. My chest constricted as I imagined the life I suddenly desired more than anything. 

“Emilia…” Weston said my whole name and my heart rate picked up.

“Tell me and I'll call it all off—for you.”

Weston bowed his head. “I'm staying with Chelsea. We're going to try again for a baby. I'm going to marry her, Em, and you should marry Jeremy.” His words forced the fantasy from my mind and slammed me right back to reality. I sucked in a sharp breath as he inhaled and focused his eyes on mine. “Because
our
love has always been broken. I can’t work towards a future when I dwell on the past.”

Weston’s words wound deep into my soul. They sank deep inside my marrow. We were broken and there was no point in looking for a future when we would constantly, like he said, dwell on the past.

I didn't respond to Weston, nor did we speak that day at the park again. He left the bench and resumed playing with Lyra until the sun began to dip in the sky. 

Our love story had come to an end.

I
paced
around my bedroom as the phone rang in my ear. I nervously waited for her to answer. My nerves were coiled at the pit on my stomach. Leslie’s bubbly voice greeted me on the other side of the phone. “Hey, Chica.”

“Hey, Les, you got a sec?”

“For you I have a whole minute.” She laughed. “What's up?”

“What are you doing the end of the month?”

“Um, not sure. Why?”

I inhaled before I blurted out the words. “I wondered if you wanted to be my maid of honor?”

“Really?” Leslie squealed.

“Yeah Jeremy and I decided to do it at the end of the month.”

“Seriously?” Her toned changed in the blink of an eye.

“Is that a yes? Because all you are responding with are questions.”

“Of course it's a yes! But that gives us no time for a bachelorette party, bridal shower, none of that.”

I scoffed. “It's a small, intimate wedding. Twenty people max. There’s no need for the other stuff.”

“Count me in, but please don't make me wear a horrible green dress.”

“Never,” I joked and the line went silent on the other end. “Les?”

“I hate to do this,” Leslie huffed, “but as your MOH I need to ask.”

“Okay…” My eyes scrunched. I had no idea where she was going with this.

“Are you sure about this? You know—with Jeremy?”

I sighed and closed my eyes. My hands pinched the bridge of my nose as I responded. “Yes.” I didn’t know who I was trying to convince—Leslie or myself.

To my surprise, Axel took the news of my upcoming nuptials worse than when he found out I had a kid. Weston had told him about Lyra, which dumbfounded him. He called me shortly afterwards to ask why I’d never told him; that out of everyone he thought I'd at least tell him. But when I called him to tell him I was getting married, at the end of the month no less, I was shocked by his blunt outrage. 

“You're what!” He grunted and I heard muffled noises. “You can't marry that bell.”

“Axel!”

“You have a child with Weston. What the bloody hell are you doing shacking up with this fool?”

“This is solely an invitation. I'm not asking you for permission, and you do
not
have to come,” I barked back.

“I'll be there.” His voice had softened. “You don't even have to ask. I just want to make sure you're certain about your decision.”

“I am, Ax, very certain.” 

T
he sun beamed
down on my shoulders. It must have been the hottest day of the year so far. Stepping out of the limo, I inhaled the muggy air hoping that it would calm my rapid heartbeat.

I handed Leslie my bouquet of pink peonies, so my fingers could grip the skirt of my long cream dress as I walked up the three cobblestone steps to the quaint church in Pasadena. It was the church Jeremy’s parents had married in and the parish Jeremy grew up in. Every step seemed like a mountain.

Leslie handed my bouquet back to me as I dropped the lace skirt of my dress. Her warm smile did nothing to alleviate my anxiety. I stood tall and filled my lungs with extra air and letting it out slowly. My thumb reached for Weston’s ring. Twirling it with my thumb always calmed my nerves, but my finger was empty. My left hand only held my engagement ring. I had taken off Weston’s for the first time since he gave it to me, and I felt naked without it. It had been with me through everything in the past few years. Mama’s ring now had a new home. It was on a gold chain that I'd placed over Lyra’s neck. It didn’t seem fair for me to wear it any longer since there was no faith left. Inhaling the thick air again, I hoped it would calm the butterflies in my stomach.

Leslie and I waited for the percussionist to play the church organ as our cue to enter. “Are you good?” Leslie brushed a curl away from my face. My hands were clammy and my heart felt as if it would implode in my chest at any moment. Was I good? No, but every bride had jitters before she walked down the aisle.

I opened my mouth to respond to Leslie when I heard the revving of a car,
his
car. My lungs tightened as I gasped for air. My eyes closed for a brief second listening to the music his car was making.

“Oh shit,” Leslie muttered under her breath. 

I snapped my eyes opened and looked towards the car. Cruising in our direction was his Pontiac GTO. My breath came out in spurts as I realized Weston was headed towards me. He hadn’t lost faith in us after all.

His car coasted down the street as if he had released his foot from the gas. I wanted to sprint towards him but my feet felt glued to the cement. My eyes locked with his, but where I expected to see happiness, determination or love in his eyes, I saw the opposite. My tears began to blur my vision. He wasn’t stopping. His engine revved and Weston drove past me.

He drove past me.

My head turned as I followed his car down the narrow street.

He had given up. 

My bouquet slipped from my hands, my knees buckled, and my heart shattered into a million pieces.

He had driven away.

I cried out. The pain in my chest burned as I gasped for air. Leslie’s fingers dug into my arms as she held me up. I bowed my head and let a sob escape my lips. The realization of what had happened settled deep into my soul.

“It's okay, love.” She ran her hands up and down my back. 

I bit down another sob and stood tall. “I'm fine.” I brushed away my tears. He’d come all the way here to drive away. I wouldn’t let him destroy what was supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life. The organ began to play as our cue that the procession had started. “Okay, let’s do this.”

“Emilia, you can’t walk in that church.”

“It’s done. There’ll never be a Weston and me. He had his chance to stop and I would have run to him. I would’ve started a new life with him, but he drove away. He came all the way here to drive away.” I leaned down and grabbed my bouquet from the ground. “Jeremy loves me and I know he will make me happy.”

“Listen to what you are saying.”

“Leslie, I need normalcy in my life and that’s Jeremy. So please walk down that aisle.”

Leslie looked at me as though she wanted to say something else but she shook her head and cupped my cheek. She didn’t say a word. A faint smile appeared on her face as she inhaled deeply and pulled back the church door.

I cried as I walked down the aisle, but the tears that flowed down my cheeks weren’t for the happiness I felt on my wedding day, and they weren’t for the man who would be my future husband.

No.

My tears were for the love of a man I was leaving behind.

O
ne year later
. 

I lie on my bed looking out into the ocean. The boxes that contain my life are pushed against the wall where the movers left them. My vision is blurred from the tears that have now stained my cheeks and soaked my pillowcase. My house is empty and cold. Jeremy is gone. I packed his bags the second we got home from the doctors and the movers showed up to move our furniture into our dream home.

Alone. That’s all I feel in that moment.

Lyra is with Weston and I bellow out another cry.

I’m utterly alone.

I push every thought out of my head and focus on the ocean crashing a few feet away from my room. It’s a gray and rainy day and the sea is violent. The loud crashing against the rocks drowns out my soft cries as I hug the pillow to my body and stare out into nothing. My body refuses to move, the feeling of emptiness washing over me. The walls of my room feel as though they are closing in on me. I can’t breathe, I can’t think. All I know is the numbness that is coursing through my body.

I faintly hear my cell phone ring. I knew who it is. It's Dr. Moore’s office calling for the fourth time with the treatment plan. The empty prescription bottle of Clomid sits next to the telephone, the red plastic box on the other side of the phone filled with empty syringes. It is all too much to process.

I pull my gaze away from my nightstand and look towards the foot of the bed at the legal size envelope my lawyer’s carrier dropped off earlier today. I know it contains my divorce papers, and though I should be heartbroken I feel nothing. They are signed and ready to be given to Jeremy.

Anger begins to build as I think about him. Inhaling, I close my eyes and let the sound of the waves crashing below soothe my pain. I gently placed my hand over my stomach and let the cries pour out.

I’m utterly alone.

Love is fatal; a snake that slithers into your life, poisons you with its venom and then leaves you there to die.

I
never imagined
that writing the acknowledgments would be harder than actually writing book. I have some many people to thank so if I happen to forget you please know that was it never my intention.

First, I need to thank God for giving me the courage to sit behind a computer for the last few months and pour my heart into this story. This has been a dream come true.

I read once that it takes a colony to publish a book. So in no particular order I’d like to thank my enormous colony.

To my husband, thank you for the support and love. I’m so lucky to have you in my life.

Frankie, I love you so much and this book would not be what it is, if you didn’t push me every step along the way. You helped me make Weston the book boyfriend that he is.

Share Bear, :) I can’t thank you enough for the early morning chats and the advice you gave me. You’ve held my hand the entire time. Thank you for being my friend.

My editors, Jennifer, and Brenda, thank you both for taking my words and making it in to a beautiful story.

My proofreader, Shawna, you my dear friend, are one in a million. Thank you for finding every last error.

The Sassy Savvy and Fabulous PR & Marketing team, you ladies are wonderful and have made publishing this book a dream come true.

Linda, One day I will get to hug you in person and thank you personally for all that you’ve done for me.

Stacia, thank you for taking a chance on me. I know how busy you are and I appreciate all of your help.

Cleida, Thank you for loving my story and helping me with the Brazilian translations. I can’t thank you enough for telling people about Invisible Love Letter.

Dena, Jennifer, Nanci, Vicky, Judith, Alissa, NancyCarol Love Grey, & Analia, your words have been a dream come true. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for falling in love with this story.

Kari, with K23 Design, I love my cover. I gave you an idea of what I wanted and you made it come true. Thank you so very much for being a pleasure to work with.

To you, the one who inspired this book. Our love was like the sun in June.

C
allie Anderson is a wife
, mother and writer, who embraces the truth, then weaves it into a magical tale of romance and heartache.

For more information:

• @AuthorCallieA
  
• AuthorCallieAnderson