Invisible Love Letter (10 page)

Starving.

Desperate.

My hips rose from the bed, and Weston slid the tiny scrap of cotton down my legs. His half-lidded eyes scanned my naked body. They told me exactly how much he wanted this. Weston removed his boxers, and my mouth dried. His arousal stood tall and thick against his belly.

Weston lowered his body to mine and then pulled away. “Do I need a condom?”

I bit my lower lip to contain the whimpers of desire and shook my head. “I’m on the pill.”

“Alrighty then.” A boyish grin appeared on his face. “I’ve never had unprotected sex before.”

Neither had I, but with Weston it wasn’t simply sex—it was so much more. His lips kissed my belly button, my ribs, my sternum. My legs spread wide for him. Weston rubbed his heavy erection over my core, and I whimpered.

“You’re so beautiful, and all mine,” he whispered against my lips, driving his hips forward.

This was the shortest distance between our souls.

My hands gripped Weston’s biceps as he molded our bodies together. Every thrust was better than the last. My toes curled as my release rushed through every vein, every limb, every square inch of me. A sheen of sweat coated our skin. Seconds, minutes, hours of pure bliss passed unheeded. I couldn't breathe; I was incapable of doing anything but moan in sweet ecstasy as I relinquished all control.

Weston was tender, attentive, and caring as he drew out every whimper from my body. His pace was steady as the rhythm of a heartbeat, and his lips kissed every possible inch of bare flesh as he made love to me.

Weston’s hips moved in a slow circular motion as he brought me to the most powerful and euphoric climax I had ever experienced. His arms caged my head, holding me close as I moaned versions of his name. He buried his head in my neck, his grunts loud with each thrust, and I locked my legs around his waist, holding him close as he found his own release.

With our bodies tangled together, we stayed in that position until our breathing became regular. Weston lifted his head from my neck, his lips kissing my ear, my chin, my cheek. As the aftershocks of our orgasms faded, my heart began to speed up again. It was as clear as day: I was falling in love with Weston. No, I was hopelessly
already
in love with him. Never had I experienced something so powerful, so meaningful as the past hour. Holding me in his arms, I realized that I never wanted to be anywhere else.

But I knew—without a doubt—that Weston would destroy my heart.

He would be the second man to break my heart; my father had been the first. Weston would shatter it to pieces, but I didn’t care. Apparently, love made me doing insanely stupid things. And he was my love, my stupidity. Walking into the tiger's den with my eyes closed, I welcomed the pain, the heartache, and the hours of crying I knew were to come. That’s how love worked. It was all clear now. I would fall mercilessly at its feet because the joy it brought promised to outshine the heartache. My eyes pooled with tears at the realization that I loved Weston more than I loved myself.

“Hey.” His voice was soft. “What's the matter, babe? Did I hurt you?” His eyes scanned mine for some type of answer.

“It's nothing.” I brushed away the tears that rolled down my face. “I'm fine, I swear.”

“Emilia, talk to me.”

My words lodged in my throat. I took my finger and traced an invisible love letter over his sternum. With trembling hands, I wrote the letter I. My finger then traced a heart, followed by the letter U.

A crooked grin grew on his face. “I love you, too,” he whispered before he kissed me fervently.

His lips created a path towards my neck, his voice husky when he spoke. “I'm going to have to do that all over again,” he joked with his mouth on my neck, his hips pushing against me.

“I was counting on it.”

Weston and I stayed tangled in each other's arms until the sunset was on the horizon. Sore from our afternoon under the sheets, I pushed off him and crawled out of bed. “Are you working at Sparrows this weekend?” Weston asked as I grabbed my clothes from the floor.

“I have a shift tomorrow night. Why, what's up?”

“Axel asked me to work the door with him tonight since it's spring break.” Weston stretched his arms over his head and yawned. He looked exhausted. “Do you want to come with me and keep me company?” He gave me his best sad puppy dog eyes.

I pulled my bra straps over my shoulders. “I think I'm going to head home. Leslie and I need to have a little conversation.”

“Okay.” Weston’s sexy lower lip pouted. “I’ll come by afterward.”

I crawled onto the bed. “Come sneak into my bed tonight.”

Weston’s hands tangled in my hair. “God, I love you.”

“And I you.”

O
n my drive home
, I stopped at the liquor store and picked up a couple of wine coolers. Leslie and I had to talk, and I figured alcohol would help break the ice. If Weston was at Sparrows with Axel, then so was Harry, which meant that unless Leslie were with them, she would be home.

As I shut the front door of our apartment, I noticed Leslie sitting on the couch. She was dressed in her favorite
leave me alone
pajamas, and a bowl of freshly popped popcorn rested on her lap. She didn't acknowledge me when I entered. I dropped my bag on the side table and walked over to her.

“Do you have any plans tonight?”

“No.”

“Okay, I'll be right back.” I didn’t let her sour mood faze me. Sprinting to my room, I changed into
my
favorite
leave me alone
pajamas and returned to the living room. I popped open two wine coolers and handed one to her as a peace offering.

“We need to talk,” I said after taking a sip of my berry punch flavored wine.

Leslie huffed and muted the television. She brought the glass bottle to her lips, took a sip, and studied its ingredients label. It wasn’t the best thing to drink, but it was cheap and it contained alcohol. “I was out of line.” Her shoulders lifted in a shrug. “I had no right to talk about your mother.”

This was how Leslie and I fought and made up. We would own up to our flaws and apologize over a cocktail.

“I was a shitty friend for ditching you for Weston.”

“I'm sorry, Emilia.” Her voice cracked. “The truth is, I
am
jealous. You've been with Weston for almost two months and already he's committed to you. You guys are serious about one another. I’ve been messing around with Harry for almost two years and I'm nothing more than a quick fuck after the club when he can’t find anyone to take home.” Her dark brown eyes pooled with tears.

“Don't say that, Les …”

“We know it’s the truth.” She held in a sob.

“If you know that, then why do you stick around? If you know that's all he wants, why do you constantly go back?”

“Because I'm an asshole, and I'm in love with him.”

I took a tissue from the coffee table and handed it to her. “You deserve better, Leslie.”

“I know, but like you've always said, love is poisonous.”

It was. Like a venom that would kill you. But I fell in love with Weston. And now I was eating my own words.

When Leslie’s tears subsided, I asked, “Are we good?”

“Yeah, Emmy, you know I can never stay mad at you.” She tossed her feet over my thighs. “So tell me about Weston. How are you guys? I'm assuming it’s serious, no?”

I leaned my head back on the couch and smiled as I remembered the past few hours spent with him. I looked over at Leslie, who was smirking and shaking her head in disbelief.

“I told him I loved him.”

“Shut up! Oh my God, Emilia Darcy, Miss
I don't believe in love,
is in love.” She threw her head back and laughed. “With a musician!”

I tossed a decorative pillow at her. “I know! I'm such a sucker. I went against everything I ever believed in, but I feel so different with him,” I admitted before I chugged back my wine cooler.

“I'm happy for you.” Leslie reached for my hand.

I was grateful for her support, but I didn’t want to dwell on Weston and me. I turned the conversation back to my unplanned girls’ night. “Now, what terrible romantic comedy are we watching tonight?”

Leslie laughed. “The Wedding Planner.”

O
ver the course
of the following three months, everything in my life seemed perfect. My friendship with Leslie was stronger than ever. We were closer than we had ever been, and she was on a mission to finally get over Harry. She had gone so far as to apply for jobs outside of California. Though I wouldn't be happy about her leaving, I understood her decision.

Weston and I were still enjoying the honeymoon stage of our relationship, and I wasn’t complaining. Everything was rainbows and sunshine; on occasion, I would even spot a unicorn. If the feeling that I was experiencing was why everyone else believed in happily ever after, then it was worth it.

The weather was getting hotter and we were getting ready to kick off our summer tour at work. Cinthia was only a few weeks shy of her maternity leave, which meant I had a lot more responsibilities on my plate. Everything was falling into place.

One Wednesday afternoon in May, I was exiting the conference room when I spotted Axel on my side of the building. He was dressed in a suit and tie, which was strange for him.

“Hey.”

A full, wide smile overtook his face. “Emilia!”

“You look sharp.” My hand guided up his back. “Are you going to a job interview?”

“You fancy my outfit, don't you?” He joked as he fixed his tie. “I was just meeting with Ray and Ina about some other ideas I had for the summer tour.”

“Wow, Ax.” I shook my head. The Axel I remembered was late to every class in college. “I'm proud of you. You’re really determined.”

“You have no idea. I just pitched a proposal to them. I suggested that Elephant Room could perform the cover songs of all the artists performing on the tour. It would be a free concert in the parking lot for the tailgaters. The station could sell merchandise along with VIP passes to the concerts, and have giveaways to keep the crowd going. Plus, it would be great exposure for me and the guys.”

Shocked at how determined he was, I patted his shoulder. “I had no idea you were such a marketing genius.”

He laughed. “Only when I'm inspired by something that interests me.”

“So what did they say? Are you guys going on tour?” As the word escaped my mouth, I realized if Axel went on tour with the radio station, so did Weston. I wanted to be happy for him, but a part of me began to question our relationship. Could we survive the separation? It wasn’t as though I could quit my job and follow him.

I
wouldn’t
follow him.

“Well, Ray and Ina didn't seem to buy the idea right away because it has never been done before, especially not from the radio station, so I suggested we tag along on Venus Cara’s tour. She is touring through Texas and Arizona for the next four weeks. Not to mention, I have a personal relationship with her.” He winked. “I suggested Elephant Room go there and start promoting the tour since she’s headlining it.”

“And . . . ? Are you going?”

“They seem to like that idea. Ray said that he would call Bill Hurch and get back to me by tomorrow morning.”

I danced in place to contain my elation. “If we didn't have a red zone in this office for sexual harassment, you know I would hug you right now!”

“Are you really excited?” The smile that had covered most of his face turned into a frown. “You understand this would mean Weston would be on tour with me?”

“Ax, I would never do anything to jeopardize your career, let alone his.” I rested my hand on his shoulder. “This is awesome. You guys shouldn't be doing cover songs, you should be doing your original stuff. I know this is your foot through the door of endless possibilities. Who am I to stop it?”

Axel shook his head. “Weston is a lucky man. I don't think Sally's going to like it that much.”

I never knew whom Axel was with; his relationship with Sally functioned according to their availability to each other. “It's four weeks, and then if you guys get picked up on tour—I mean
when
you guys get picked up to go on tour—it will only be three months more. It'll be over in the blink of an eye. Plus, it gives us girls a summer all to ourselves.”

I
sat
on Weston's bed with my laptop open on my thighs as I typed out the schedule for the following week. I was micromanaging myself. Weston sat at his keyboard, composing a new song that had crawled into his head. It was mesmerizing to watch him create a masterpiece. He would start with one side of the keyboard, then he would add the drums, then he would add the guitars and the bass until it slowly grew into a perfect melody.

I refused to be in the way of Weston’s future. Holding him back, asking him not to go on the tour, would be like capturing a wild animal and penning him in a cage. Weston needed to spread his wings; he needed to show the world his talent.

My tongue itched to tell him about Axel’s meeting. I wanted to be the one to let him know there was a good chance he was going on tour, that he was one step closer to his dream of becoming a successful recording artist.

“What?” he questioned.

From the ache I felt on my cheeks, I realized I had been smiling at him. “I'm in awe watching you. The way the song comes to you, the way you know which note to press to make that melody sound so much better. How you sit at a keyboard and compose what Axel’s going to play on the drums, what Pete will do with his bass guitar.” My heart pounded with joy. “You're not an ordinary musician who has a nice voice and can hold the note. You’re the complete package.”

Weston growled and stood, a sexy, devilish grin on his face. Work time was over. It was now time to play.

T
he following morning
, Cinthia was hospitalized due to dehydration. For the past six months, this was what I had trained for: to step in while she was away. Taking a deep breath, I gave myself a mental pep talk.
You've got this.

For the next ten hours, I didn't use the restroom and I didn’t eat anything besides a protein bar. My heels had been kicked off and my hair had been tossed up in a bun with a pen. I was exhausted. Every single open issue Cinthia had left, I had resolved. Every crisis that arose, I handled. My workday was finally done.

I retrieved my purse from my desk drawer and pulled out my cell phone. I had fifteen text messages and seven missed calls from Weston. Thinking the worst, I hit the redial button. He answered on the first ring.

“Babe.”

“Hey, I'm sorry I missed all your calls. Is everything okay?”

“I need to talk to you.” His voice was different, distant. “I tried to go by your office, but I didn’t know which floor you worked on since I’ve only been to the cafeteria. I guessed you were busy when you didn't return any of my calls, and I didn't hear from you at lunch, but I really need to talk to you, Em,” he rambled. Weston never rambled.

“Okay.” My gut twisted into a knotted web as I imagined the worst. “I'm leaving work now. Do you want me to come over?”

“I'm actually downstairs.”

“I'll be right down.”

M
y heels clicked
against the concrete floor of the parking deck. Walking towards my car, I spotted Weston leaning against the back of his car, his head hung low, his eyes refusing to meet mine.

This was where he was going to break my heart.

This was where he would tell me he found someone with fewer dents.

It seemed impossible to walk towards him; each step felt as if my body weighed a thousand pounds. I pushed my shoulders back and held my head high. I had to remain brave. My purse felt heavy on my shoulder, but I didn't let that affect my stance.

“What happened?” My voice was stern and rushed. It needed to be like yanking a Band-Aid—quick.

Weston's fingernails scratched his head. He opened his mouth to speak and paused. The anticipation ate away at me. “Seriously, Weston! Just spit it out!”

“Axel pitched an idea to his boss.”

The heavy dumbbell that had placed itself over my heart fell, and a smile grew on my face. He was about to tell me he was going on tour for four weeks.

“Why are you smiling?” His eyebrows furrowed. “You don't even know what I'm about to tell you.”

“You're going on tour for four weeks with Venus Cara.”

“You know?”

I shrugged. “I bumped into Axel yesterday when he left the meeting.”

“And you didn't tell me?”

“I didn't want to get your hopes up in the event they didn’t agree.” Even though I knew in my heart they would. They’d be stupid not to.

Weston grabbed my wrists and brought me close to him. “So you're not upset?”

I threaded my arms around his neck. “I am extremely happy for you. Mark my words, this is the first step of a very successful career.”

“God, Emilia.” His warm breath tickled my skin and caused a soft moan to escape me. “Since Axel told me this morning, I’ve been mulling over how to tell you I’d be gone for that long.”

“It's only four weeks. We’ll blink and it'll be over.”

“You think so?” Weston’s arousal pressed on my belly.

I rocked side to side, letting him know I felt him between us. “Yes, and when you come back, we’ll spend four weeks making up for lost time.”

“I think we should start that now.” Weston dipped down and threw me over his shoulder, his hand holding the back of my knees. He tapped my butt cheek with his hand as he walked towards the passenger side of his car. Opening the back door, he slid me down his body. “I want to take you right here. I want to make love to you in this open space where everyone can watch.”

Completely hot and bothered, I crawled into the back seat and Weston followed. “There are cameras everywhere. I would lose my job.”

His hand trailed up between my thighs. “Then it's a very good thing my windows are tinted.”

Weston hiked up my skirt. Shifting my panties to the side, his fingers dipped down into my core, and his lips tickled my neck as he continued to play me like I was his guitar. I moaned at his carnal touch.

It would be four excruciatingly long weeks.