Intrigued and Enchanted (8 page)

I knew coming into this weekend that his heart lies elsewhere, I just need to make sure I don’t let myself get too attached to Brandon. (I already know I’m screwed, let’s not state the obvious). We jump in the Ferrari and head out to the East Hampton Marina.

The weather is perfect, and we stroll hand in hand looking in local shops, checking out the boats in the marina and generally just soaking up the atmosphere. As we walk past a row of restaurants Brandon stops in front of a particularly nice seafood place.

“What do you think? You want to eat here?” This is the first Brandon has really spoken since we left the house.

“Sure. Looks lovely, you want to sit inside or out?”

“Outside sounds perfect. Pick a table and I’ll be back in a minute.” He heads into the restaurant while I sit down at a beautiful little table with a perfect panoramic view of the marina. I feel his breath on my neck before he speaks.

“I’ve been remiss Miss Pritchard. I neglected to tell you how spectacular you look today.” Slipping his hand under the fabric of my top, cupping my breast with his warm strong hand.

“Mmmm, I love this top sweet girl. And your legs go on forever in these little shorts.” I feel the blush creeping over my cheeks at his words. He pulls his seat round next to mine so he can sit with his arm around my shoulder.

“I’ve ordered the seafood platter for us and a nice bottle of wine. I hope that’s ok.”

We have a lovely meal, chatting and laughing as Brandon’s good mood returns, sitting circling his fingers on my thigh as we eat. When we’re done, Brandon won’t let me pay the bill, and I don’t feel like an argument, so I let him settle the bill and we spend the rest of the afternoon just enjoying each other’s company before heading back to the beach house to grab our bags and make our way back to Manhattan.

As I pack my overnight back, I feel a sadness creeping in and settling in my stomach. This weekend has been perfect, and being around Brandon just feels so normal to me. I’m going to miss him when we’re back home, going our separate ways and getting on with our lives.

When we’re ready to leave Brandon takes the bags and heads out to the car. I take a moment to memorise this beautiful place where Brandon has awakened a sexuality in me that I didn’t know was there. It’s pretty quiet on the way home; noticing Brandon isn’t driving as fast as he did yesterday. Maybe he isn’t so keen to get back to reality either. I decide to break the silence.

“Thank you for this weekend Brandon. I had such a lovely time, and the house was just beautiful.”

“You’re welcome Miss Pritchard. I had a great time too. If you had such a nice time, why do you look so sad?” He says resting his hand on my thigh.

“I guess….it’s just a shame to leave our little bubble and go back to normal life. You’ll go back to your life, and I’ll go back to mine.” He squeezes my thigh.

“You don’t think you’re getting rid of me that easily do you? I want you to be part of my life Lily.” As much as I want to believe him, I can’t shake the image of the beautiful brunette from the internet.

“You don’t have to pretend Brandon. I don’t expect anything when we get home. I saw pictures of you with a woman online, and by the way you were looking at her, I’m pretty sure you’re in love with her.”

My heart sinks as the words leave my mouth, the realisation hitting me that it bothers me much more than I want it to. This was only our first date for crying out loud.

“I figured I was a rebound this weekend, and that’s fine, because I wanted to spend time with you. But, I don’t want to be the girl you use to make her jealous and come running back to you.” I’m far from fine but my pride won’t let me admit that to him.

“I’m not that kind of girl, and I don’t think I could deal with the fall out when you’re done with me if I let this go on any longer.” I turn my head to stare out the window to hide the tears forming in my eyes. I do not want his lasting memory of me to be a pathetic crying mess in his car.

“Look at me Lily.” I can’t.

“God Damn It Lily. Look. At. Me. Now.” As I turn to face him, his hands are gripping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles are white. I don’t want to look into his eyes. He sounds angry. When I finally make eye contact, I’m frozen. I couldn’t look away even if I wanted to. His eyes are no longer icy blue and sparkling, they’re darker, menacing.

“Firstly, why the hell would you Google me? Secondly, why didn’t you mention this yesterday? And thirdly, is that really what you think of me? That I would use you like that?” I see a flash of hurt cross his beautiful face before the anger returns.

“Am I missing something here? Did we
not
have the same fucking amazing weekend? What the fuck am I saying? Of course we didn’t.” I hate seeing him like this, annoyed with himself, because of me.

“I was dumb enough to think it meant something. I’m such a fucking idiot. You would think I would learn from experience. I love how Victoria can still fuck with my life, even now.” Oh my God. I’m pretty sure he didn’t mean to tell me all of that, but I need to take the opportunity.

“Who the hell is Victoria?”

“She’s the woman in the pictures. Fuck…I don’t like talking about this stuff Lily.” I can’t speak; a crushing feeling pressing down on my chest.

“We dated for three years, which ended last year. I thought we were in love, and that we had a future together but she had other ideas. Obviously my money and business contacts weren’t going to get her where she wanted to be as an aspiring model. I found out she had been sleeping around with any guy that said he could get her on a magazine cover. Of course, she didn’t leave me until one made good on his claim. She left like it was nothing, and the next thing I knew, she was on the cover of Sports Illustrated.”

“I’m so sorry Brandon.” I don’t know what to say. My heart is breaking for him, but at the same time I feel a little guilty. I’m
happy
he’s not with her anymore. I know it’s selfish of me, but I want to be with him and I don’t want her in the picture. Does he still love her? As if reading my mind he answers me.

“You are not a fucking rebound from that bitch Lily. She doesn’t deserve to breathe the same air as you. I realise now that what we had was not love, it never was.” He swears under his breath.

“Lily, this weekend meant something to me, and I hoped it did to you too.”

“Oh God Brandon. It
did
mean something to me. It
does
mean something to me. I’m not very good at this stuff and I’m not used to letting anyone in.”

His hand clasps mine tightly, as if he’s afraid I’ll disappear.

“I get that. I really do. I’d like to give it a try though…with you.” The look in his eyes - vulnerable.

“Ok Brandon, I’ll try.”

“Are you sure? Because if this goes any further, I don’t think I can walk away.”

“Yes, I’m sure.”

Brandon places my hand on his firm thigh, covering it with his own as he drives us the rest of the way home. The drive has taken hours, but it wasn’t long enough. I’m not ready to leave him and return to my apartment - alone. I already miss him and I’m still sitting in the car. We pull up outside my apartment at around 8 o’clock.

Brandon jumps out of the car to grab my bag and places it down next to us as he pulls me tight to his chest. I have a twisting feeling in my gut and I don’t like it. His hands travel up my body to clasp the back of my head, lifting my face to his; closing the gap between us, lowering his lips to mine, he kisses me with a soul-melting intensity. I part my lips to allow his tongue to tangle with mine, stroking, flicking, exploring. It’s the best kiss of my life. He leans his forehead against mine, calming his breathing down, allowing me to do the same.

“God Lily, I’m going to miss you tonight. Sweet girl.” I run my hands up and down his back.

“Me too.”

“Can I see you tomorrow?”

“I’d love to Brandon, but I can’t. I have finals at the end of the week, and I really need to study. I should have been studying this weekend so I have some catching up to do.” The sinking feeling in my stomach is back.

“Okay. I’ll call you then.” He leans down and gives me a lingering kiss. “Goodbye Lily. I’ll see you soon.”

With that he jumps into his car, and I watch as he runs his hands through his beautiful hair.

I know he won’t leave until I’m inside, so I take one last chance to soak him in and head up to my apartment.

9

When I open the door to the apartment Jess is on me in seconds.

“Tell me everything this minute.”

“Can I put my bag down first and grab a drink?”

“Huh. Fine. Go and put your shit away and I’ll grab the glasses and the wine. But hurry up, I’ve been dying here waiting on you getting back.”

I take a moment to gather my thoughts as put my overnight bag in my room. My cell buzzes in my pocket.

Mr E: Thank you for a wonderful weekend sweet girl. X

Me: I should be thanking you Brandon. Talk soon x

I put my phone on my nightstand and head out for the Spanish inquisition.

Jess and I have a lazy Sunday night, sharing a nice bottle of Cava; Jess grilling me for every detail of my weekend. She gives me no end of shit for not actually giving up my virginity to Mr Tall Dark Adonis. Yes. We still call him that behind closed doors! I tell her how perfect it was, and how I had told Brandon about being a virgin and how he was a true gentleman about it. I also tell her that he has Mad Skills in plenty of other ways! We have a good giggle about it, then Jess goes into graphic detail of her sexploits with Simon before we settle down to watch some trash TV before bed. She really does overshare.

There are some things that you just can’t erase from your brain. I don’t think I will ever be able to look Brandon’s friend Simon in the face ever again. I ask her if she’s planning to see him again, but she pretends not to hear me and changes the subject. I know what that means…she likes this guy. God help him.

When I head to my room to get changed for bed, my room doesn’t feel the same as it did on Friday. It feels lonely somehow; my bed looking too big for just me. I’ve spent 22 years sleeping in a bed by myself. One night in a bed with Brandon and being by myself just feels wrong. I miss him. I miss the warmth and serenity I felt in his arms as I fell asleep wrapped in his cocoon.

I toss and turn, unable to get comfortable. I need to sleep. My finals are this week and I’ve worked too damn hard to get distracted by a guy now, no matter how gorgeous and sexy and smart and wonderful he is. Damn it! I can’t last ten seconds without thinking about him. It’s going to be a looooong week.

When I finally fall asleep it’s fitful at best, the nightmares are back; this time it isn’t my dad that I watch dying in my arms. This time the victim is tall, dark, and beautiful, with stunning icy blue eyes. I wake up screaming as the sparkle fades from his glorious blue eyes and the life drains from his body…

“Nooooooooo.” I come to with Jess shaking me.

“Come on Lil, wake up…It’s just a dream honey…I’m here.” She scoops me into her arms as I sob uncontrollably.

“Is it the same dream about your dad honey?” I feel like I’m choking.

“No. Well, yes…but, it wasn’t my dad Jess….it was….it was Brandon.” I break down and lay crying in my friend’s arms for a long time before I can speak again.

“I can’t do this Jess. I need to stay away from him. I already feel too much for him. I couldn’t go through that kind of pain again. My dad was everything to me; losing him broke me, and Brandon deserves better. He deserves someone that isn’t paralysed by the fear of losing him.” She pulls me close, stroking my hair.

“Lil honey, you need to let someone in one day, otherwise you’ll never be able to truly love with all your heart. It’s part of life. The reward of loving someone with every fibre of your being comes with the risk of losing them. If you could go back, you wouldn’t want to love your dad any less would you? He was worthy of your love honey, and maybe Brandon could be too?”

“Can we not talk about this Jess? I appreciate what you’re trying to say but I just can’t deal right now. I have finals this week and I haven’t been a hermit for the past 4 years to throw it away at the final hurdle. I just need to focus on this and stop obsessing over a guy I’ve known for a week. I’m fine really. Don’t worry about me okay?” The look on her face tells me she doesn’t believe a word of it, but I don’t need her to agree with my decision, I just need her to accept it and let me do what I need to do.

I throw myself into studying, unfortunately, most classic literature is based on love; whether its love found or love lost, so it isn’t the best distraction in the world. I only have three days until finals and this is my last chance to excel at Columbia. I’ve decided to stay away from the library and just lock myself in the apartment. I’m happy with my progress come lunchtime and decide to give myself a break to grab a snack and listen to some music. As I dance around the kitchen to Katy Perry 'Firework' making myself a veggie sub I’m stopped in my tracks by the buzzer.

The doorman tells me a package has arrived for me; I tell him to bring it on up. I sit the package on the table, it’s a large rectangular box; black with a white ribbon and a little envelope tucked under the bow. I carefully untie the bow and open the card.

Lily

Good luck with finals. Thinking of you.

Brandon x

I lift the lid and unwrap the tissue paper. Inside is a Monet reproduction; one of his Water Lily oil paintings. It’s exquisite. I can’t believe he bought this for me. My heart soars at his thoughtfulness, but my head is fighting to focus on my decision to stop whatever this is before it gets out of hand. I pick up my phone and sit for long minutes deciding what to text Brandon.

Me: Brandon. Thank you for the Monet reproduction. It’s stunning, but you shouldn’t have. It’s too much. Lily

Mr E: I’m glad you like the painting. It’s not too much, it’s only the beginning of what I want to give you sweet girl. X

Me: I don’t want you spending money on me Brandon.