Intrigued and Enchanted (9 page)

Mr E: Sorry Miss Pritchard, I will bare that in mind in future. When can I take you out? X

Me: I’m really busy with school just now Brandon. It’s not a good time.

Mr E: What’s wrong Lily?

Me: I can’t do this Brandon, I need to focus on graduating.

My phone starts ringing; Brandon’s calling. I let it go to voicemail. I know it’s a cowardly thing to do but I can’t hear his beautiful voice right now, it would lower my resolve for self-preservation. It rings another four times before my phone beeps with a message.

Mr E: Why aren’t you answering your fucking phone Lily? I thought we decided to try. What’s changed?

I put my phone in the kitchen drawer and will myself not to answer him. I know he would persuade me to change my mind. I hear it beep a few more times and then it stops. I’m relieved and a little sad at the same time. I sit staring at the Monet for a while, contemplating what lies beneath. Brandon might like what’s on the surface, but if he finds out that I was responsible for killing the only man I ever loved, he’ll walk away, and I will be crushed.

I don’t know how long I sit lost in the memories that plague me, grief and guilt strangling me as if it all happened yesterday. Startled by banging on the door, I wonder why anyone would be so frantic. As I stand to answer the door,
his
voice comes booming through the door.

“Open the door Lily.” Pounding the door with his fists.

“Go away Brandon.” My voice sounds choked.

“I’m not going anywhere until you explain to me what the fuck is going on Lily. Unless you want everyone on this floor to witness me kicking your door in, I would suggest you fucking open it…Now.” Shit.

I unlock the door and before I can open it fully, Brandon bursts in, slamming the door behind him, his eyes wild and dark. He grabs me by the arms, spins me round and forces me up against the door. His breath is erratic, his face so close to mine I’m assaulted by the scent of him. It’s so intoxicating, cologne, clean laundry and his unique smell.

His hard, lean body presses up against mine, covered in a black tailored three piece suit that just makes him even more sexy and dominant looking; his eyes full of emotion, searching mine for answers I don't want to give.

He pins me against the door for what seems like hours, when in reality it could only be seconds, his mouth so close to mine I’m struggling to control the need to feel his lips on mine. He curses under his breath.

“Fucking hell.” He’s on me, claiming me, his lips bruising mine with the intensity of his kiss. I try to stop him but Brandon is having none of it.

“Fucking let me in Lily…let me in.” He’s kissing me with everything he has and I can’t fight it any longer. Parting my lips ever so slightly, his tongue ravages mine, claiming it as his.

“Your mine Lily, You. Are. Mine. Say it….fucking say it Lily.” Kissing me as he speaks.

“Brandon. I can’t.” The tears begin to fall from my cheeks. Brandon cups my face in his hands, his touch more gentle, he kisses my tears away.

“Sweet girl. Talk to me please. I don’t understand why you’re pushing me away. I told you I wouldn’t be able to walk away from you. You have to tell me what’s going on.” I crumple to the ground sobbing. Brandon carefully scoops me up in his arms.

“Where is your bedroom?” I can’t speak through my sobs. I point down the hallway and Brandon strides towards my room. I give in to the comfort of being in his arms and rest my head on his chest, letting the tears flow. He lays me down on the bed and removes his shoes, jacket, waistcoat and tie, and climbs onto the bed beside me. He pulls me into his chest and strokes my hair as I cry, not saying anything, just letting me get it all out. Once I stop crying he speaks in a soft soothing voice.

“Lily, please talk to me baby. I want to help. I want you Lily.” I know I have to tell him the truth, and I know he’ll leave when I do. I take a moment to cuddle into him and memorise his scent before I lose him for good.

“Brandon. We can’t be together. I don’t want you to get hurt. That’s what will happen if you get too close to me. I told you my dad died when I was 15, but what I left out...is that I killed him.” Brandon’s face freezes in shock, his body tense beneath me. I continue before I lose my nerve.

“It was a Friday night and my parents wanted to have a family night in with me and my sisters. I was 15. I thought it was lame and I wanted to go to the cinema with my friends. Because my dad and I were close, I knew he would let me go if I asked him with the puppy dog eyes. He said it was fine as long as I called him to come get me; so we arranged for him to pick me up outside the theatre in town at 10.30pm.

I was the last one waiting at the theatre at around 10.20pm. There was a guy standing across the street at the bus stop, but I didn’t think anything of it at the time. I started texting one of my friends and didn’t realise that the guy wasn’t there anymore.

Before I knew what was happening, he was grabbing me and forcing me into the alley next to the theatre. I punched and kicked him with all I had, but he was too strong for me. He shoved me to the ground and I hit my head. The smell from the trash cans was foul, I can still smell it in my nightmares. My head was swimming as I tried to struggle against him, but it wasn’t doing any good; he was just getting angrier.

I remember him hitting me, and then he started grabbing at my clothes. I remember thinking that he was going to ruin my favourite shirt. How dumb is that? Worried that my best Levi's shirt would be ruined. He had this disgusting look on his face; I could see he was enjoying it. I tried to remember his features in case I made it out alive so I could identify him.

He had a nasty scar running from his eyebrow down to his chin on the left side. It was really jagged and red. He had tattoos all over his arms and neck, I noted one in particular, an animal skull with a dagger through it.

He ripped my shirt off to get to my bra; then he was trying to get my jeans off. That’s when I heard my dad shouting behind him.

My dad grabbed the guy off me, throwing him into the trash cans, and started fighting with him. He was shouting at me to get to the car and call 911. I scrambled to my feet and ran as fast as I could to his car. As I put in the call to 911, I could barely choke out our location to the police, and as I disconnected the call I heard a terrifying noise ripping from my dad’s throat. I will never forget that sound. It haunts me.

I ran back towards him and the man who had assaulted me ran off shouting and swearing; calling me a dirty whore. When I reached my dad, I realised what had happened; that animal had stabbed him in the abdomen. I tried to stop the bleeding until the police arrived. They called for an ambulance as I sat with my dad cradled in my arms, trying to stem the flow of blood. My dad was asking if I was okay. Even then...even as he lay dying in the street, he was thinking of me.

The ambulance arrived and 3 EMTs tried frantically to help him. They were shouting things I didn’t understand and grabbing stuff from their bags; I moved round to rest his head on my legs so he wasn’t on the cold, dirty ground. I looked in his eyes as he took his last breath. It was the worst moment of my life.

They caught the guy that did it and I was able to identify him; he was sent to prison for assault, attempted rape and the murder of my father.”

I sit for a moment, letting Brandon process everything I’ve just told him.

“It was my fault Brandon. I played on the fact that my dad and I were so close, so that he would let me get my way. We never should have been there that night, and if I had stayed in with my family, my dad would still be here. He was my…everything. I loved him more than anything in the world.” I wipe the tears streaming from my eyes.

“I’ve had nightmares about that night ever since. After spending the night with you, I had the same dream, except this time, it wasn’t my dad lying in my arms dying Brandon, it was you. Don’t you see? I vowed I would never let anyone in like that again, I don’t want to love someone so much that I live in fear of losing them. I would never forgive myself if something happened to you because of me. That's why it’s best that you walk away now.”

Brandon moves towards me tentatively, reaching out to envelop me in his arms. I’m so drained that I don’t fight him; I don't
want
to fight him. He starts kissing my hair.

“I’m so sorry Lily. I’m so sorry you had to live through that. I’m so sorry you lost the most important man in your life. No one should have to deal with that, especially not at 15. You need to listen to me right now baby. You. Are. Not. To. Blame. It wasn’t your fault Lily. It was the scumbag that attacked you, it was his fault that your dad had to protect you; it was his fault, he stabbed your dad. Baby, look at me.” I look up into his eyes, glassy with unshed tears, and full of tenderness.

“Your dad loved you and he would do anything to keep you safe. Dying saving your daughter from a monster is something that every father would do for his precious little girl. You have to forgive yourself baby. You deserve to be loved, and you can’t live in fear that it will be taken away from you. No one knows how long we have in life, but you have to make the most of it. You lived that night Lily, you have to
live
your life, it’s what your dad would want.”

I can hear wailing, but it takes me a minute to realise that it’s coming from my chest.

“Shhh, baby. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. Don’t you realise that from the moment I met you I didn’t have a choice anymore. You’re mine Lily, mine to cherish, mine to protect. I can’t walk away Lily because I’m already in too deep with you. Let me cherish you sweet girl.”

We stay like that for hours. When I’ve cried so many tears my eyes hurt, I drift into an exhausted sleep in Brandon’s arms.

When I wake up Brandon’s gone. I’m beginning to panic when I hear voices in the lounge. Brandon’s talking to Jess. He’s still here, he didn’t leave me. I open the door to my room as quietly as I can, hoping they won’t hear me. I know it’s bad to eavesdrop, especially when Brandon has been so understanding about everything I told him, but I need to hear what they’re saying.

“I can’t believe she’s been carrying this around all this time, blaming herself Jess.”

“I can’t believe she told you everything about that night. She’s never opened up to someone like that Brandon. Her family and me - we're the only people that knew exactly what happened, until now. It was a massive deal for her to tell you, so you better treat her right or I will hunt you down and castrate you. Got it?”

“Jess you have nothing to worry about - I’m crazy about her. I would never intentionally hurt her, and I’ll be around for as long as she’ll have me. I just wish I could take all the bad stuff away for her. It kills me to see her hurting.”

He’s crazy about me; for as long as I’ll have him. How about forever? That would work for me.

I find myself welling up listening to him, and I can’t stay away any longer. I make sure they hear me as I walk down the hallway, both of them turning to greet me.

“Hey sleepy girl. How are you feeling?” He pulls me down into his lap and wraps his arms around me.

“I feel a lot better. Sorry about earlier, I was a complete mess. I didn’t mean to sleep so long either.”

“Don’t apologise Lily, I’m glad you told me, and I’m glad to be here with you.” He’s stroking my hair as his voice washes over me; warm and peaceful. His voice suddenly changes, sounding almost vulnerable.

“I was thinking…maybe I could stay here with you tonight…if you want?”

“I would really like that Brandon, thank you, but, what about fresh clothes and work tomorrow?”

“I’ll get Angus to drop by some of my things and don’t worry about work. That’s the beauty of being the boss.” A cheeky grin spreads across his face.

“Okay. Great. Do you want some dinner? I can rustle something up for us.”

“How about I get Angus to drop in some Thai for the three of us?”

Jess pipes in. “Sounds like a plan Billionaire Boy. You paying?” There’s a look of amusement on Brandon’s face, as he takes her teasing in his stride.

“Of course.”

Angus arrives with his overnight bag and our dinner. It’s really nice having dinner with Jess and Brandon; chatting and laughing together – Jess telling stories about when we were younger. It’s relaxed and comforting after an exhausting day.

After a few hours I can barely keep my eyes open, deciding it’s time for bed. Brandon offers to sleep on the couch, but I shoot that idea down in two seconds flat. I’m going to savour every minute of him in my apartment, in my bed. I hold my hand out for him which he eagerly grasps and I lead him down the hall to my room in silence.

Just holding Brandon’s hand causes an electricity to spark between us, a palpable energy in the room that consumes me. I’m not aware of anything except Brandon. I'm rudely snapped from my daze by Jess yelling down the hall.

“What am I, chopped liver? Don’t I get a good night?” She’s so funny.

“Good night Jester. Love you.” As she walks down the hall, she peeks her head round the door.

“Love you too Lilliput.” Yes she actually calls me Lilliput. She thinks she’s hilarious. I can hear Brandon chuckling in the bathroom. He better not start calling me that.

My breath catches in my chest when Brandon emerges from the bathroom in only his Calvin Klein boxer shorts. I will never get used to the sight of his chiselled body. I swear I could stare at his chest and happy trail for days and not get bored.

“See something you like baby?” He says teasingly.

I know I’m blushing, so I just quickly grab my PJs and jump into the bathroom. When I come out in my plaid sleep shorts and red t-shirt I’m met with the sight of Brandon tucked up in my bed having turned down my side of the bed to welcome me in. I scurry over to him and climb in. He pulls me close to his side and I nestle into his chest; we fit together perfectly, like we were made for each other. I know that’s really corny, but what can I say...I’m schmaltzy when it comes to this man. Brandon strokes my hair and kisses the top of my head as we lay there content to just...be.