Intoxicated (25 page)

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you that
assertive in front of him.”

I smiled as I looked out the window. Our
caravan zoomed past beautiful fall foliage; one of my favorite
things about this portion of the city.

“Put me in front of an audience and I get a
little feisty. Especially when he brought Matthew into it.”

“Matthew seems to be a decent guy. He was
beside himself during the whole thing, like he wanted to rescue
you. I told him to stay out of it, to let you fight your own
battles. But when Eric grabbed you, he couldn’t get over there fast
enough.”

“Eric didn’t hurt me. I think I hurt myself
more trying to get away. I’m sure it looked worse than it was. But
he was mad. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him that upset
before.”

“Jealousy does that to a guy. Whether
warranted or not.”

“Dad,” I said quickly, “you believe me that
nothing has happened between me and Matthew, right?”

He cleared his throat. “I believe you because
you have no reason to lie to me about it. But there is this
unmistakable chemistry between the two of you.”

I sighed again. “That’s what I was afraid
of.”

“If I were in Eric’s shoes, I think I might
jump to the same conclusion. And that’s my honest opinion.”

“So what do I do? Walk around and videotape
every conversation I have with Matthew? Then when he accuses me of
something I can just pull out the surveillance footage?”

Dad laughed. “That seems a little extreme.
Just let him cool off a little. When he’s got a clearer head, maybe
he’ll be a little more open to the truth.”

“I can’t believe Eric accused him of all that
and called him a fucking idiot to boot. As much as he tries to act
tough, Matthew’s so broken inside I can’t imagine what that felt
like.”

“He’s gone through a lot, dear. Some scars
never heal.” Dad placed his hand on my leg. He could have just as
easily been describing himself.

“Did you two have a good talk?”

“Yeah,” he hedged.

“You don’t have to tell me anything. If
Matthew wants to talk about it, he’ll tell me. But thank you.” I
placed my hand on top of his and gave it a squeeze.

“You’re welcome, sweetie.”

We pulled into Blake’s driveway behind the
others. Blake left the garage door open so we could all enter that
way rather than going through the front door. Matthew opened
Gracie’s car door for her, but once she had exited the Mustang, he
fell into step beside me. I relaxed, tension dripping out of my
body that I hadn’t even realized was there. It would have been
horrible to be jealous of my best friend. Blake was right. It was a
bad idea to start setting up people within your inner circle.

Blake led the tour, Dad and Gracie responding
appropriately. I stayed in the back with Matthew and let my
thoughts wander. I remembered a few short weeks ago taking this
same tour and being impressed with what I saw as well. So much had
changed; like I had expressed to Eric, Fort Wayne really was my
home now. No matter how familiar I had become with my new
surroundings, I hadn’t forgotten where I had come from as he
suggested.

The walkthrough ended in the loft, where I
could finally show my dad and Gracie that neither unicorns nor
rainbows resided in my bedroom. Even though I had texted some
pictures of my room, photos didn’t do it justice. That and they
could be faked. I stood proudly in the middle of Blake’s pink,
black and gray creation, admiring her work as though I was seeing
it for the first time also.

“Blake does wonderful work,” I praised.

Gracie nodded. “It almost makes me want a
roommate. If my apartment was bigger. And if I could have
yours.”

I laughed. “No deal. Blake is officially
mine.”

I flashed back to earlier that day in the
bathroom with Eric. How he had uttered practically the same feeling
about me, only his words had come across as eerily possessive. A
chill ran down my spine and I shuddered reflexively.

“You’re sure you’re okay?” Matthew
whispered.

Why did he have to be so intuitive?

“I’m fine.”

“I’m officially hers for about a year,” Blake
smiled, “then once her lease is up, all bets are off. There may be
hope for you yet.”

“I couldn’t afford a place like this anyway.
Even to rent. I don’t have a career like Lauren does. Only a job
for now.”

“Even better. That way you’re not tied down.
And I’ll tell you a secret; Lauren’s rent here is dirt cheap.”

I nodded, confirming her statement. The fact
was that I only paid slightly more to live here than my rent had
been on the tiny speck of a place I called home in Indy. I knew the
cost of living was substantially less up here, but I figured that
Blake’s family issues had a little to do with it as well. She
seemed the type to despise being alone.

“Well, well. Something to consider then.”

We chatted easily for the next few minutes
and I thought to myself that this was how the entire day should
have gone. If not for Eric’s presence, I would have accomplished my
original goal. Like I had thought, everyone that remained got along
famously. If only Eric had turned on his salesman’s charm he would
have fit in, too. But he had come here not willing or able to do
so.

“So, Gracie,” my dad interjected, “it’s
probably about time to head back.”

Gracie responded with a frown. She looked
meaningfully at me and asked me silently to stall him. She wanted
to talk about something in private.

“I want to show Gracie the dress I picked out
for the Christmas party at work first,” I said, thinking quickly.
“Why don’t you guys go downstairs and have some coffee and we’ll be
down in a couple minutes?”

Even though my intentions were rather
transparent, the group let me off the hook and took my story at
face value. With the kind of day I had had so far, it wasn’t asking
too much to be left alone with my best friend from home. I supposed
at that point, I could have just shooed everyone else out of the
room and there would have been no hard feelings.

Safely alone and behind closed doors,
Gracie’s face lit up. I raised my eyebrow, surprised at her sudden
animation. I had expected her to launch into a tirade about Eric,
though she wouldn’t have had to have kept that under wraps.

“So?” she asked giddily, rubbing her hands
together.

“So?” I repeated, shrugging. I had not a clue
what she meant.

“You didn’t tell me he was absolutely hot. In
fact, you barely mentioned him at all. So what gives?”

Oh, yes, that was it. She wanted to dish
about Matthew. I pushed down the bile that threatened to rise in my
throat and reminded myself that I had wanted them to get together.
Her interest in him was a good thing, and highly understandable. I
could do this. I could play matchmaker. It would make the whole
Eric thing easier to deal with in the long run. Any cheating
allegations would be extinguished by my best friend dating the
culprit. And any inappropriate thoughts or dreams on my behalf as
well.

“What gives is that Matthew is incredibly
scarred by his past. And I’m trying to help him with that. Given my
experience, I feel kind of qualified to help him forgive himself, I
guess. Eric called it a God complex earlier, but you know I’m not
the controlling type. I wanted you and my dad to meet him with an
open mind and not a preconceived notion of what he would be like.
So I just gave you guys the bare minimum fact wise.”

“I think you left out a lot of valuable
information.”

I shrugged. “You know now, right?”

“He really stayed with you that night Eric
stood you up?”

I nodded. “He canceled his plans with his
best friend. I heard him on the phone talking to him. And he sat
with little old sobbing Lauren and dried my tears. Then carried me
up to bed when I fell asleep.”

“That’s so sweet.”

“I know. But I told Eric the truth about that
night. Nothing happened. So you’re free to make your move. You
should go for it.”

Her eyebrows furrowed as if that was the last
thing she expected me to say. “Don’t get me wrong here, but I’m the
last person he would ever think about dating.”

“Why?”

She snorted. “Because, my dear, he is head
over heels for you.”

A mixture of emotions washed over me. Fear,
relief, excitement, guilt to name a few. One by one, those whose
opinions I trusted the most indicated that Matthew had feelings for
me. The consensus was the same, and I had run out of people to ask.
Unless I started polling people at work, the vote was clearly that
there was more than friendship between us.

I slumped down on my bed, my legs refusing to
hold my weight any longer. Gracie sat beside me, wrapping her
slender arm over my shoulders.

“Are you sure?” I asked softly.

“I’m positive. Lauren, the whole way here he
asked me questions about you.”

“Really?”

“Really. And all day he’s practically orbited
around you like you are the sun or something.”

I stared down at my fingers. “This
complicates things.”

“Or maybe it clears them up.”

“How so? I have a boyfriend.”

“A boyfriend who won’t truly commit. See, no
ring.” She lifted my left hand to prove her point. “After ten
years, you would think he could make up his mind.”

“Eric said if I loved him that I would have
turned down the promotion and moved in with him. I’m not playing by
his rules.”

“So, if you’ll give up everything for him,
he’ll give you something that may or may not be important to you?
Seriously, if a diamond meant everything to you, you would have
been long gone by now.”

“It’s not all about getting married. I mean,
we’re only twenty-six. I’ve still got time to have the whole
American dream thing.”

I looked up at her, searching her dark eyes
for some kind of answer. It was ironic, me seeking out the advice
of the younger girl who probably couldn’t fathom having a serious
relationship at this point in her life.

“I wish I could tell you what to do, Lauren.
But you have to decide for yourself. I’m not Eric’s biggest fan,
but if you have kept him around this long, he must have some
redeeming qualities. And you wouldn’t have gotten as pissed off at
him as you did earlier if you didn’t care.”

I bit my lip, considering. At this juncture,
Eric’s relationship with me was murky at best. I felt a little bit
better now that I had stood up to him. If he couldn’t handle my
assertiveness, then I had an answer by default.

“I guess I have a lot of thinking to do,” I
muttered.

“I’m afraid so. At any cost, your little love
triangle is amusing for the rest of us.”

I elbowed her in the side. “It’s not a soap
opera.”

“I beg to differ. On one hand, you have the
boyfriend who will open up his wallet to show you he cares. On the
other, you have the reformed bad boy who will open a vein for you.
Who will Lauren choose? Tune in Monday to find out.”

I wished it were that easy. At the rate I was
going, it would take a year of Mondays to figure this one out.

The mood at work was decidedly more festive
than I was prepared for on Friday morning. Several employees had
risen at the crack of dawn – or not slept at all – in order to take
advantage of the Black Friday deals around town. The office was
abuzz with tales of shopping conquests and family gatherings.
Typically, I would have enjoyed flitting from conversation to
conversation, listening politely and interjecting now and then.
Instead, I made the trek from the coffee pot to my office staring
straight ahead and not stopping once. Safe in my sanctuary, I
closed the door.

Having transferred only two months prior, my
staff didn’t have a good read on me yet. I knew my actions today
would earn me the label of hard-ass boss, but I didn’t care. I
wasn’t comfortable enough yet to impose upon them with my personal
problems, as entertaining as Gracie assured me they were.

Entertaining or not, they were surely
headache-inducing. I rubbed my temples as I waited for the caffeine
to take effect. I had one hell of a migraine starting. It would be
a long day for many reasons, lack of sleep being just the tip of
the iceberg.

Last night, after I had seen Dad and Gracie
safely off to Indianapolis, Matthew and I had attended a
come-to-Blake meeting. If she wasn’t such a talented interior
design, I would have pegged her for a motivational speaker or
televangelist. She had ordered us to the infamous sectional sofa of
awkward conversations, standing before us and pacing back and forth
as she called us out on our misdeeds. Granted, she had come down
far harder on her brother than me. From his expression during the
whole thing, he appeared to be used to it.

She had berated Matthew for causing the scene
right before Eric left. She wasn’t impressed with him for implying
that we had spent the night together, even if it was partially
true. She noted Eric’s jealous streak and how that stupid comment
had only fueled the fire. Thankfully, she stopped just short of
letting him know that Eric had accused us of cheating with one
another long before he knew about that night.

Done with her sibling, she had turned her
wrath to me. I had heard the gist of her lecture before, in the
days following me driving the Mustang. Even though she didn’t come
right out and say it in front of him, her meaning was clear: don’t
hurt my brother. Don’t start something you’re not capable of
finishing.

Blake hadn’t given the opportunity for us to
offer rebuttals. Matthew had left soon after, and I had slunk
upstairs to my room much like a grounded teenager. Sprawled on my
bed fully clothed, I had laid in the dark, begging sleep to come
and put me out of my misery. It hadn’t listened. My stomach had
twisted and turned right along with my emotions for the majority of
the night. Finally, an hour or two before my alarm sounded I had
fallen into a fitful slumber.