Intimate Equations (3 page)

Cora did not ask Jules anything in return yet was
responsive when Jules ventured to make her happy. These were the only times
that Cora let down her guard.

She understood what made Jules tick on more than one
level. They could talk about math for hours. Cora knew what fueled Jules; she
admired Jules but it was not love. Cora kept their pillow talk light and
breezy, steering away from matters of the heart.

“
You make me so happy, Cora.” Jules would
say when they were together in the afternoons.

“
I'm glad, honey. I'm glad we can be
together like this. Life is fluid and always changing. You never know what is
coming so we have to grab the moments.”

Cora bent over, parted Jules' legs and put her tongue
on the soft place inside her thigh. Her hands moved up and down with a tender
touch on the curves of her hips. Cora tasted her and pushed her tongue up deep
inside until Jules' throbbed with rising pleasure. Jules grabbed Cora's hair
and moaned, reluctant to allow the conversation to end.

“
Oh, Cora…” She was set on fire. Her skin
pulsed at every turn of Cora's tongue. How could she speak? How could she doubt
this woman when she makes love to me like this? Cora however, never said a word
about love, ever.

Cora would sometimes call Jules “My little innocent.”
Jules never quite understood this odd, nickname. Cora was a few years older,
but Jules was not a complete novice. This passionate, physical intimacy was as
deep as Cora would go.

She never would talk about her family even though Jules
would press her and ask questions. Conversations always steered toward school,
sex, or mathematics. There was never much more, but never any less than what
she gave Jules.

Jules wondered, “This is love?” If it was, it seemed a strange,
detached version of which only Cora understood.

“
Why can't you tell me what I need to hear
from you?” Jules pleaded with Cora when the emotional distance eventually
became too much.

“
I don't know”, Cora answered after
considering Jules' exasperated outburst, “I suppose I love you in my own way,
but nothing is forever, Jules. This is who I am and it has to be enough.”

Jules didn't believe that Cora was that shallow, but after
a long time it wasn't enough for Jules. And that was that; the relationship
ended and they stopped seeing one another after Jules left for grad school the
next year. It was a slow, painful let-down but one that she survived, albeit
with her heart injured and dignity bruised.

Jules drew in a deep breath of resignation. The
memories of Cora would come and go. Jules learned over time just to let them
wash over her and feel whatever it was the memories brought. To subdue them
only made things worse. Lately, the memories were like a sweet pain; an
unsettled pull on the heart – the usual Cora stuff. It was all a mixed bag just
the way most love tends to be. Jules leaned on the porch banister and sighed a
little. She gazed across the street looking at nothing in particular.

After Cora, Jules spent so much time studying for the
GRE and her Master's courses that a meaningful relationship never again had
much chance to develop. Graduate school was more than demanding in her field of
study and the competition was stiff, but Jules loved the challenges. She
preferred it to any guy she might meet; any challenge the opposite sex would
give her was nothing compared to her studies.

There were plenty of men who were interested in Jules.
She had a beautiful smile which complimented her dark eyes. Her forehead was
proud and graceful and her face kind, set with wavy auburn hair. Guys asked her
out, but school was far more interesting. Her male co-eds seemed to have
constant obsessions with sex, football, and bad beer. Maybe it wasn't so much
her fascination with math that got in the way, but that she hadn't met the
right person yet. So Jules plowed through graduate school and the years of hard
work with never more than a casual date here and there; nothing serious,
nothing which ever came close to the intensity of her first great love affair
with Cora.

These uneasy reflections were interrupted by the phone.
It was her TA – Daniel. His hard drive had crashed the night before and he
couldn't remember their password to get into the grading system. He was on
campus trying to use a computer at the College lab. After telling Daniel the
password and “Good luck” she put down the phone and glanced at the lawn from
the porch steps. This glance became a sharp reminder that she needed to take
more responsibility for her surroundings. What a mess!

“
I swear, I'm going have that lawn ripped
out and replaced with gravel. Why can't I deal with this?”

Slamming the screen door she rushed back inside to find
the little slip of paper her neighbor handed to her the previous day.

“
Where was that damn thing? The grass was
surging into chaos out there, growing taller every moment, gaining inches as
she fumbled for her phone.

She punched the number which Mr. Connor had given her
and waited for it to ring. A man's voice answered on the first buzz. “Hello,
this is Sam Lopez. How may I help you?”

Jules nearly had a seizure. “What?” She gasped a little
into the phone and then recovered. “I – oh, I’m so sorry. I have the wrong
number.”

She disconnected and sat down on the Ottoman stool.
Crap
!

All of sudden Jules realized her silliness.
I have
no idea why I just did that.

She should call him back and set up an appointment to
do her lawn. Her reaction was illogical and she felt ridiculous, but these
thoughts evaporated when she noticed the time. “Okay, hmm - I have to get ready
for the staff lunch meeting. I'll give him a call later.”

Of course she never did. The day ran away with her.
Lunch was spent in meetings with faculty. All her office time was sucked up by
previously panicky students who now verged into the realm of frantic, desperate
to get their marks up before the next exam cycle. Jules worked at the office
until late. By then, she was tired and hungry. As she stepped out of her car,
the last thing she wanted to do was make chit chat with the neighborhood
lawn-Nazi, but Mr. Connor stood there near the fence clipping away at the
interminably untidy grass, as if he'd never left that spot from the previous
day.

Hi, Dan. How are you?” Jules was tired but she offered
a friendly greeting in the attempt to make up for the fact that she had done
nothing about her yard.

“Doin' fine, Jules! Say, get a hold of that young guy
who does the yard work? Or was he booked solid?”

 “No, I didn't make it that far. Jules replied. “I'll
try to get it taken care of tonight.” She hurried towards refuge via the front
door followed by Mr. Connor's disapproving glances.

I’m so failing at this,
she
cringed at her ineptitude.
I wonder if there was a support group for
low-functioning home-owners?

Chapter Three: A Meeting of Minds

Sam settled into his lunch like a wolf which had just
helped the pack bring down an elk. Lunch, what a concept. Lunch with variety
and lots of it. Roast beef with scalloped potatoes, a deli sandwich, a burger
and fries with the works, coconut cream pie for dessert; all these were
available in the student Commons. He ate with appreciation, taking little
notice of other people seated around him chatting and laughing. On most days he
slapped a bit of peanut butter between two pieces of bread and grabbed an
apple, eating them on his way to another job or stealing five minutes under a
client's tree. Since the weather had cleared up, he was taking advantage of all
the work he'd been called to do, working sometimes 14 hours straight before
collapsing in a heap at home. Sam had been up early again today to finish
homework before modern physics. He was taking a few hours off so he could catch
up on the class and maybe go see the professor about his test. He'd be working
well into the evening later, so he'd better eat now.

*****

Jules typed at her computer in her office oblivious to
the chatter outside her open door. It was office visiting hours so the door had
to stay ajar. She was good at tuning everything out when she was working but
the secretaries at the desk often got under her skin. As a private joke to
herself Jules had designated the Science office ladies “the minions of hell”
for their habitual gossip.

It's not like they don't have jobs to do.
Jules
would often see the two women conniving behind their desks, heads close
together, rattling on about some new intercollegiate scandal. Those ladies love
to wreak havoc. Jules was very judgmental of such behavior. She had no love for
those who delighted poking into another person's private life.

Today, however Jules was focused. She was in the zone
typing with some speed on her presentation when a light tap on the door frame
interrupted her. She glanced up to see the tall gardener, Sam, peering in with
a pensive look on his face. Jules smiled and motioned him inside. She was good
at helping students feel comfortable. She was little help to them as a teacher
if there was unnecessary tension between them. She guessed Sam was around her
age which helped ease the awkwardness of being called “Professor”. Jules
remembered all too well; it just wasn't that long ago since she had been a
student herself.

“
Sam, hi there. I'm glad to see you; come in
and have a seat.” She studied his face. His deep, dark eyes met her gaze
straight on without flinching. Again, somehow Sam seemed familiar but she
couldn't pinpoint the source or a memory to match his features. His face was
clean-shaven today; no two day old stubble or dirt smudges on his forehead.
He
scrubs up nicely.
The thought leaped into her mind before she could stop
it.

“
What can I do for you?” Jules smiled at Sam
and he seemed to relax a little as he sat down in the chair next to her desk.

 “
Well, I'd like to go over that exam
question; number six? You mentioned something about an alternate solution?”

Jules stole a look at Sam as he sat down. She could not
ignore the outline of muscles in his shoulders and chest through the shirt that
he wore open at the neck. This was not a guy who worked out at the gym lifting
weights. He was naturally fit having worked long hours at his job.

Jules continued to admire his physique but checked
herself in seconds. She averted her eyes and looked down at her desk. She
became very conscious of him sitting next to her. How can a man be so bright
and attractive, both?

“
Yes, do you have your test with you?” she
asked. Sam handed her his exam and they both bent over it as she placed it on
the desk and turned to question six.

“
Ah, this is a very interesting solution. It
is very perceptive, Sam. It demonstrates that you understand the concept -
especially here,” Jules tapped a spot about two-thirds of the way through his
calculation.

“This is perhaps not the most efficient solution but
certainly very interesting to me; I wouldn't have thought of it. It’s quite...
creative.”

Jules became aware that her admiration of Sam was
rising on more than one level. She took a deep breath and tried to relax. She
could feel her heart thumping. She hoped that he didn't notice since Sam was
near enough to her that she could hear
him
breathing.

Sam gazed at the side of her face and admired her
graceful profile. He watched Jules purse her full, red lips in concentration.
He couldn't look away.

She is such a focused person. She is not
only a gifted scholar, but very lovely - especially up close.

Sam realized his attraction after watching Jules teach
from the back of the lecture hall for weeks, but here in her office this hit
him squarely in the chest.

Sam snapped out of it. He wasn't sure how to respond to
her praise about his creative solution to the problem. He measured his words
and attempted to explain the process he had chosen to solve the exam question.
All the while his mind was running a diagnostic on the sudden urge he had to
reach out and touch the curve of her neck.

“
It's a little like a piece of music, I
think” Sam ventured. There are given notes, yes, but there is also room for
adding embellishments or dynamics to enhance the piece, given the player's
abilities or understanding of the musical score. A lot of it is just hard work
– to get the concepts, I mean. The creative element doesn't always get a chance
to express itself, but once I get past a certain point, well then, I can come
up with something... alternative.”

Sam wavered but held his gaze, searching Jules' wide
eyes and parted lips for a hint if maybe he'd stepped too far off in left
field.

“
Sam, that is...” Jules paused for a word
which was not quite on her tongue. She realized she was holding her breath.

“Perfect.” She finally spoke it. And true! What a
wonderful analogy.”

Jules looked up to her computer screen and started
typing a search into Google. “There's something Einstein said about this very
thing” she clicked on a link.