Interrupted (The Progress Series) (22 page)

“It’s one o’clock in the morning, Jess. Some of us have to work tomorrow, errr… today.”
Oh wait, today is Friday. I have the day off.

“I can’t sleep.” He shrugged. “Come on.” He grabbed her hand and walked her back into his living room.

“No, Jess. Really. This is very inappropriate. I could get fired for this. I need to go.”

Charlie looked at the table next to his chair. The driftwood that it was constructed with was beautiful. The grains of the wood were black, but the gray-blue patterns that covered its surface were stunning. She shook her head, trying to tear her eye away from it.

“Do you want to see it?” he asked.

“What? No, I’m leaving.”

“Wait, Charlie. Let me show this to you.”

She turned and stood, strumming her fingers against her forearm, still trying to keep Jess from noticing her nipples.

Throwing the remote controls off the table and setting his laptop aside, he motioned for her to come to him. “Here. Look.”

She took a step closer and looked down at the table. Its base was made from blue-white drift wood. The top of the table was glass. Just below its reflection, Charlie could see a chessboard nestled deep into the wooden base. She was now directly above it, staring down in amazement.

That’s the chessboard I gave him. For his birthday. Last year.

Assembled carefully, the chessboard had only two pieces on it: the queen in her position on one side, and a sole king on the opponent’s side.

She blinked slowly.

This just got very, very complicated.

“We have unfinished business,” he said. “You know that, right?”

She swallowed, and keeping her eyes on the table, she nodded.

She glanced up at him and saw sadness in his eyes. It was the first time since he had returned that she saw the reasons she adored him: his vulnerability, his inability to communicate his emotions accurately, and his sheer, simplistic beauty. Everything else was always so complex; he always had a thousand words about his day, his bike, his girls and his music, but when it came to Charlie and the way she made him feel, he was a little boy trying to sound it out. He could never quite come up with what to say, or figure out when to say it. But when Charlie stared down at this table, emotions stirred more than any words, phrases, or sentences could describe.

I think the room is spinning.

“I’m going home now, Jess. I just came to make sure you were okay.”

Just as she was closing his door, she heard him murmur, “You should have done that a year ago, Charlie.”

Friday

After a restless sleep, Charlie sauntered into the shower and washed herself slowly.

I have to end this. I know exactly where this is going. After the look in his eyes last night, I know his definition of ‘unfinished business’ is completely different from mine. I know what he wants, and yet I still want to see him today. I hope he’ll find me, because I’m a hopeless romantic. A hopeless romantic stuck between my love for Samuel and my loyalty to Jess. Because I think I owe him something.

I’m attracted to him. More than I want to admit. And I know that if I let him in again, he’s going to take away my relationship with Sam. He’ll rip it right out from under my feet, because he wants me. And,
he will
take me. He’ll fight for every last cell in my heart because that’s the kind of guy Jesse is. And then there’s me. Stupid little me. I’m the kind of girl that thinks she can fix everything. Fix everyone’s problems, take away the pain, and somehow relieve them of their sorrow. I pity Jesse and I want him to be happy. But I also know that I failed him the first time.

I’m so selfish. Selfish because I’m doing this all for myself. But what can I say? What can I do? It’s like knowing someone is about to commit suicide and it’s within your power to help them. Do you stop them? Of course you do. And I know that slowly, Jesse
will
kill himself. Eventually, with the fighting, the abuse, the girls, the liquor, the drugs, the self-loathing, being trapped in his own mind… He’s running himself into the ground on a self-destructive path straight to hell.

She stood with her forehead pressed against the wall as the water ran cold. She turned it off and began drying herself.

Samuel. My sweet, loyal, sexy little ‘kung-fu warrior.’
She grinned at the memory of seeing him in that black uniform for the first time.
Such a wonderful man. He fills my heart. He makes me feel alive and knows how I like my coffee. The man I’ve spent every free moment with in the past year. He knows what kind of music I like; he knows my favorite movies, my favorite color, and whether or not I want to sleep in the next morning. The man who has asked me to marry him. Samuel.

Two men, both are occupying my heart and my body. Both are equally beautiful in their unique ways. But one of them makes me feel like I’m needed in a way the other never will; the one that can’t do it alone. The one who can’t fight for what really matters, and needs me to fight for him. Jess.

All I can do now is wait. Wait for someone to give me a sign of what to do next. Samuel will be home tomorrow and I can talk to him then.

In the meantime, just hope like hell you don’t run into Jess. His pull is too strong for you to handle.

*

Wrapped in her robe with a nearly-overflowing cup of very strong coffee, Charlie sat in her living room. The only noises to be heard were footsteps through the hallway outside her front door and an occasional cupboard door slamming from her upstairs neighbors.

Does every woman feel this way? Are we always brought back to thoughts about the first man we fell in l—no, strike that. Not love. It was never love. Was it? Okay, so maybe it was. But it was only because I didn’t know what the real stuff felt like. Jess was the closest I had ever been to falling for someone, so I guess instead of trying to guess what it was, I can just call it that.

She heard a beep indicating a new text message was waiting, which reminded her that she needed to charge her phone. She walked into her bedroom and found it in the pocket of the outfit she had worn to work the day before.

Hey baby. Meeting went well. Sight seeing today. Didn’t want to call and wake you on your day off. Love you xx

p.s. did you ever find a ring?

Her lips puffed out in an exaggerated exhale and she threw off her robe to get dressed. After donning a T-shirt and jeans, she picked up her phone again. She had no idea what to say about the engagement ring, so she only tapped the keys to comment on the first part of his message.

Have fun! See you tomorrow. Love you XX

After pressing send, she heard a knock at her door.
Ugh! I hate that all the residents know where I live. Call the damn office, Roxanne is there.

Opening the door swiftly, annoyed, she said, “Yeah?” before she could see who it was. Her eyebrows shot up at the smile on Jesse’s face.

Her hand instinctively went to her chest to ensure her necklace wasn’t showing.

“Mornin’, Foxy,” he said with his smile widening.

He stood in front of her wearing a baseball cap, his hands behind his back. She shook her head but couldn’t refrain from allowing the corners of her lips to tilt upward.
A baseball cap?
She chewed the inside of her cheek, trying to remove her subtle smirk. Her shoulders slouched and her weight shifted to one leg while she crossed her arms over her chest.

He mouthed the words
‘is he here?
’

“No, Jess. He’s not here. And you’re lucky he isn’t. Now, what can I do for you?”

“Okay, look. We got off to a bad start since I got here and I want to make it up to you. Let’s go out for lunch or hang out or something.”

“Um, no!” Her brows lifted again and she remained in her defensive stance. “Look, I really don’t want to hurt your feelings, but you and me, whatever we are, isn’t going to happen. Not today, not tomorrow.  I am your landlord. You are my resident. That’s all.” She scratched her head and rolled her eyes. “Damn it! I knew this was going to happen. This is why I didn’t want you living here in the first place. You’re like a fucking rash I can’t get rid of. I scratch and you get irritated. You get irritated and then you burn. And I’m stuck with this scabby rash on my face that everyone can see and I’m left standing, alone and humiliated, again!”

His eyes widened. “Wow.” He tugged at his earlobe and exhaled. “Been keeping that pent up for a while, Charlie?”

Oh God, I’m sorry. He looks like I hurt his feelings. Wait! No, I’m not being insensitive! Well, maybe I am, but he deserves it.

He took three steps into her apartment, shaking off her words.

Her eyes widened. “What are you doing? You’re not allowed in this apartment.”
The nerve of this guy! This is my home with Samuel, he’s not allowed in here!

“Just thought I’d look around. Oh hey, is that your dad?” he asked, walking toward the framed photo on the shelf in her living room.

“Jess, I’m serious. You’re really not supposed to be here.” She swung her head in both directions down the hallway to make sure no one saw him enter, and closed the door.

“How is he, anyway? Did you give him the money I repaid, or did you keep it for yourself?” he asked, smirking while holding the photo of Bill.

She squinted, keeping the tears away, and shook her head. She began chewing the inside of her cheek again, but this time it was to remove the frown.  Unable to speak, she tried to erase the picture of her father’s smile from her mind, her shoulders dropping. Her eyes darted around the room and she looked down again, shaking her head once more. She couldn’t say the words.

“Oh Jesus, Red. I’m sorry.” He placed the frame back on the shelf. Walking toward her, he stopped in front of her just as she sniffed. Grabbing her hands and bending his knees slightly, he tried to make eye contact with her bowed head. “When?”

She lifted her head and slowly blinked, staring at the parking lot outside the balcony doors. “Three months,” was all she could say.

He nodded and wrapped his arms around her. Encapsulating her limp body, his arms showed their strength and she felt for a moment that he was keeping her from falling. She nuzzled his T-shirt and didn’t care about her tears staining it.

I could stay here all day.

Jesus! What am I saying?

She took a step back, releasing herself from his embrace, and wiped her eyes and nose.

“How did it happen?” he asked quietly.

She shook her head again and broke eye contact. He nodded his understanding that he should change the subject.

“Let me take you to lunch. Please. It’s been a strange year for both of us. Let’s just take a little time and catch up. Please, Charlie,” he pleaded in a whisper.

She nodded in defeat. “Okay.”

*

“Do you know what you’re going to order?” He smiled.

“Of course. You?”

“Yep.” He looked around The Crimson and the familiar booths, the new and unfamiliar faces that had replaced him and Charlie, and the dust gathered on the ceiling fans. Closing his eyes and breathing deeply, he took in the sound of the clinking glassware from the kitchen and the aroma of pepperoni pizza coming from the brick oven. “Is it weird that I miss this place a little?”

“Not at all. I was just thinking the same thing,” she said, taking a sip of her cherry Coke.

“Are you two ready to order?” the waitress asked.

“Yes. I’ll have the Stir Fry Chicken Salad, please.”

“And for you, sir?”

“The Wild Mushroom and Chicken Penne,” he said.

The waitress turned away and Charlie and Jesse remained quiet, the tension building.

“So—” They said in unison, followed by a simultaneous chuckle.

“You go first,” she said.

He swallowed and his face went pale. “I’m really sorry for calling you fat the other day.” He swallowed again.

She opened her eyes wide and looked down.
Oh no. Don’t bring this up, please.
“Don’t worry about it. I know you didn’t mean it.” She shrugged, trying to stay strong and preserve some dignity about the situation.

“Really? I mean, do you
really
know? Because…because I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look, well,” he removed his hat to scratch his head and replaced it again, “you look beautiful and happy. Even when you were… Well, you were always beautiful.”

She scratched her temple and tried not to let the words reach her. She failed.

“Thank you.” She looked toward the tabletop shyly. Smiling, she rolled her eyes with a grin. “I don’t know what it is about you that feels the need to always be so dramatic. Can’t we just keep the conversation light and fluffy? You know, not so sweet and charming or heavy? Can’t we just get through the rest of this afternoon smiling and nodding? Oh, and no fights, please. Try your hardest to be on your best behavior.”

He smiled and nodded with a genuine laugh. “All right, Charlie. Light and fluffy it is.”

“Good. So, tell me more about New Hampshire. Did you like it there? Are you still riding your bike? Are you—” she said quickly before his laughter made her pause. “What?”