Interrupted (The Progress Series) (9 page)

“Sounds like a plan.” Charlie turned to her parents. “You guys can go, I’ll be fine. You can come back tonight. Maybe grab some fast food for dinner?”

Charlie emptied the cup of painkillers into her mouth and washed them down.

“Sounds good,” Bill said. “Arby’s?”

Charlie nodded with definite approval. “Thanks, guys. Love you. See you tonight.”

After ordering her lunch, Charlie searched for her phone to read the remaining two messages left by Samuel.

I just left the hospital, and I feel terrible about what I told you.

You should!

She scrolled down to read the next:

Don’t give up on me.

Oh, Samuel.

The Percocet was starting to take effect, and Charlie nodded off a few times, fighting sleep. She shook her head and picked up her phone after thinking about what she should say to Samuel. She replied:

You sure know how to lay it on thick for a third date.

She grinned and set the phone down again.

The beep a few minutes later woke her.

I don’t consider a hospital visit our third date.

She smiled.

Should I? Oh, why not? I can use the drugs as an excuse later.

Every time I see you, I consider it a date.

Upon hitting the send button, Charlie was asleep for the next two hours.

*

Upon waking up, she tried to stretch her arms above her head.

Ouch!

No one was in her room. A tray of Jell-O and toast sat on her table and HGTV was still on the television. There were a few vases of roses, other flower arrangements and greeting cards displayed on the window sill. She quickly checked her phone, which was still conveniently in her hand. No messages. She checked the time:
3:22pm. She threw her head back on her pillow and sighed. Her painkillers were wearing off, so she hit the red button on her bed.

“Nurse’s Station,” a voice called from the intercom behind her.

“Um yes, I need more Percocet, please.”

“Someone will be right there.”

She glanced out into the hallway just as Aaron Paulson was picking up pace to get past her door.

Aaron Paulson. Coward. What kind of person does that to someone? And then, to devote his entire life to saving and helping others? It makes absolutely no sense to me. He doesn’t deserve my thoughts. He doesn’t deserve the speech I’ve been planning for almost a decade to give him. He doesn’t deserve the time I’ve spent hating myself.

“Charlie?” She heard a knock on her door.

“Come in.”

“Here’s that Percocet. Where’s your pain at?”

“About a four.”

“Do you need more water?”

“No, I’m okay. Thank you.”

Just as Andrea was leaving the room, Charlie called her back.

“Oh, Andrea? Could you do me a favor?”

“Yes, Charlie?”

“Could you tell Doctor Paulson that I’d like to speak with him before he leaves for the day?”

“Sure!”

“Thank you.”

“Hey, Kiddo! A large roast beef sandwich and curly fries to the rescue!” said Bill, entering Charlie’s room.

“Yum! Thanks, Pops. I fell asleep earlier and didn’t get a chance to eat lunch. I am starving!”

“You look better, dear,” Karen said. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay. Just a little restless. I need a cigarette. But the doctor said that I should be able to go home tomorrow, if everything looks good.”

“Do you want me to spend the night? I don’t want you to be alone—” Karen began.

“Oh, no Mom. I’ll be fine. I’ll just need a ride home in the morning. So, you can just come back then.”

Charlie dove into the bag of food, grabbed a tangled handful of fries and popped them in her mouth. Because she hadn’t eaten in over a day, her taste buds were on overdrive as soon as the salt hit her tongue. She quickly grabbed her soda and chugged it down. Bill found a baseball game on the television and they all sat down to eat.

As she finished her dinner, Charlie’s nerves were starting to get the best of her, trying to find a way to pump up the courage she was going to need in order to speak to Aaron Paulson. She had an idea of what she was going to say, but wanting to say it and actually saying it were two different things.

“Is she sleeping?” Charlie could hear a faint voice outside her door. Glancing over, she could see only Andrea speaking to someone outside her range of vision.

“No, go on in.”

Carrying a bouquet of tulips, Samuel walked slowly to the entryway and stopped.

“Hey,” he said, glancing at Charlie quickly and then looking down at the floor.

Oh god, he looks good. Every time I see this guy it just gets better. Just the sight of him calms me.

“Well hello, Sam,” Karen said in that all-knowing mom way. “Come on, Billy, let’s give Charlie and Sam a minute.” Karen tugged on Bill’s sleeve.

“What! There’s three minutes left! I never stay awake long enough to see the end of a game—” Bill said in the always-unknowing dad way.

“Bill, we’ll watch it in the waiting room. Come on.”

Karen dragged Bill by the arm to the hallway as Samuel approached Charlie’s bedside cautiously.

“Hi. I…uh…I brought these for you,” he said.

“Thanks.”

“May I sit with you a while?”

“Um. No. I mean, yes! Sorry. Yes, you can stay. But I’d really like to go downstairs and have a cigarette. Do you think you could sneak me out?” Charlie gestured to the wheelchair in the corner of the room.

“I don’t think I need to
sneak
you out. I think people do it all the time.”

Charlie rolled her eyes. “Can’t you let me have a
little fun
? Come on, let’s be sneaky.”

Samuel smiled “Sorry, I’m just a little nervous.”

“Don’t be. I have no intention of saying anything to you that will make you feel bad. So come on, let’s go smoke.”

Making her way to the wheelchair and throwing a blanket over her body, Charlie grabbed her purse as Sam took the position behind her.

Just as they turned the corner to enter the hallway, they were stopped abruptly when her feet hit the shins of Aaron Paulson.

“Ouch,” Aaron said.

Oh, shit. This is it. Courage, Charlie. Find the courage you need to say this to him. He’s here because
you
asked the nurse to bring him here. Find the strength you need to say what you’ve always wanted to say to him. Find it!

Looking around the hall, she couldn’t find anything. Nothing solid to hold onto while she found the words she needed.

“You okay?” Samuel whispered in her ear and she turned to look at him. He was inches from her face.

There it is. That’s what I needed. Stay confident. Stay calm. Samuel is with you. Do this, Charlie.

“You wanted to speak to me, Charlie?” Aaron said, visually bracing himself for the blowout.

With confidence, Charlie straightened her posture and began speaking.

Here goes
…“I’ve thought about you over the years. It’s true, I have. And I’ve prepared a little speech in case I ever had the chance to give it to you. When I saw you this morning, staring at me in that bed, one thought came to my mind. And that was that you don’t deserve my fucking speech. You don’t deserve another minute of wasted thoughts. But I also realized that although you may not deserve it,
I
deserve the opportunity to give it to you. So here goes…” She flashed a tight smile. “I learned two things in knowing you, Aaron. The first is that I am a waste of a human being; I’m fat, grotesque, and unworthy of happiness. The second was to never, ever trust anyone. And now, at the age of twenty-four, I can honestly tell you that I’ve spent the better part of a decade trying to unlearn those things. I’ve fought with myself, I’ve been challenged to my core, and I’ve tried to erase all the hateful words and appalling gestures you ever gave me. I had failed until now.

“And I can say that now, since I’m sitting here telling you all of this, I will, from today, never think about you again. But you will likely think about me every day for the better part of
your
next decade, trying to justify your contribution to a 14-year-old girl’s depression, suicide attempts, and heartache. Congratulations, Aaron Paulson. You are an asshole.”

Samuel’s mouth dropped open and he gawked, waiting for a response from the doctor.

Aaron fiddled with the ring on his finger, cleaning his teeth with his tongue. A sour look appeared on his face as he nodded and walked away.

Charlie took a deep breath in and she gestured to Sam to wheel her to the elevator.

“Kiss me,” she said as soon as the elevator doors closed.

“What?” he asked, as though he was uneasy with the request.

“I said, kiss me. This was a really big moment for me, and you’re ruining it by hesitating. I want a kiss. We can deal with the two of us later. Just kiss me,” she demanded again.

His frown eased into a smile as he quickly leaned down to kiss her. With one hand behind her neck, he pulled her mouth to his. Charlie melted at the touch of his lips, the adrenaline slowing in her system. Fearing what might happen if she were to lose herself completely, she pulled away and smiled.

“Thank you. Next time, don’t hesitate.”

He let out a laugh as the doors opened.

*

“It’s been a big weekend for you,” Samuel said as Charlie was lighting her cigarette.

“It has.” She paused, thinking of what the scene upstairs must have looked like to him. “I’m so sorry you had to see that up there. I mean, I don’t think I would have been able to go through with it if it wasn’t for you, but there’s just a lot of history there that might have been difficult for you to understand.”

“Because of me? How did I help you get through it?” he asked.

She shrugged. “You helped me in a way I don’t think I can ever put into words. Just by being there, you helped me.”

He nodded, pretending he understood, then shook his head quickly. “What are we doing, Charlie? I mean, what is going on? I’m a little confused.”

“Okay, so I haven’t done a ton of thinking about this yet. I was trying to get through one thing at a time, and honestly, the Percocet has been messing with my coherency. But I know we can figure out something.”

He nodded.

“Do you have any ideas?” she asked.

“Well, I had one very flimsy idea, but I hadn’t decided if I wanted to tell you about it.”

“Tell me.”

“No.”

“No?” she asked.

“Nuh uh.”

She laughed. “Tell me.”

“Well, since
I
just escaped a very long, very shitty relationship, and
you
initially wanted to take things slow and are obviously going to need some time to heal…” He stopped, taking a deep breath in and exhaling again. “I thought maybe we could just choose a time frame, say two months, before we do anything physical. You know, like,
physical
.” The pain of that sentence alone left its remnants on his face.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, see? See why I didn’t want to mention it?”

“No, but it is a good idea. I like it, it makes sense. But I also hate it.”

“Yep.” He said, pulling his hand through his hair.

“Okay. So, two months. Just friends.” She nodded. “I think I can handle that.”

She smiled, biting down on her lip.

“Fuck. Can we say six weeks?” he snapped back.

She laughed, trying to ignore the stabbing in her ribcage. “Well, I suppose, if you feel that strongly about it. We are making up the rules, here. But I have to say that if you’re expecting some wild, expert seductress, you’ll be waiting for the wrong girl. I certainly don’t want you to be disappointed. Maybe we should say four weeks. That would eliminate some of the anticipation.” Charlie fought a smile by wetting her lips.

“Four weeks. That sounds a little more reasonable,” he said, taking a step closer to her.

“Don’t come any closer, Mr. Bordeaux. I know what you’re doing,” she said playfully. “Four weeks, that’s the deal. That will give me enough time to process whether or not I’ll still be considered a ‘revenge fuck,’” Samuel winced at the term, “and it seems as though that’s a suitable punishment to set for yourself for labeling me as such. If we limit our exposure to each other, it should be fine. Let’s pick one day. One day each week that we see each other. We can spend as much time as we want together, but only on that day. Got it?”

“Can I have one of those?” he asked, refusing to answer her.

“What? A cigarette? You smoke?”

“Usually only when I drink…or in high stress situations,” he said, mumbling the last part.