Interrupted (The Progress Series) (21 page)

“My memory is shot. Every day I try to piece together the stuff that happened the day before, but…most of it gets lost. Then it comes back to me a week later in a dream or a flash. My head keeps replaying it like a movie, over and over. And it’s always the shitty scene, the one you don’t want to remember.”

Reading Charlie’s face, he continued. “Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that you don’t deserve my fond recollection, or anyone else for that matter. I just haven’t been able to shake the bad memories and hold onto the good ones. This place…” he motioned around the park with his hand, “is about the only thing that’s solid, and good. But it’s also starting to fade.”

Charlie cleared her throat and tried to think of something to say to him.

“Are you taking your meds?”

Jesus, that’s none of my business.
Her eyes closed shamefully.

He began grinding his teeth, but he didn’t respond, which meant he hadn’t been taking his medication. A silence lapsed between them as Charlie tried to resist the urge to wrap her arms around him.
Inappropriate, Charlie. Don’t even think about it!

“There’s a lot of history here,” he said, staring into Charlie’s eyes. Awkwardly, Charlie looked away and fumbled with the strap on her purse. She glanced back in his direction after a few seconds and his eyes had changed. Just like that and without warning, there was a spark of something sinister that had switched on. Her shoulders drooped and her eyes closed.

“So, I see you’ve gained some weight, Charlie. Hitting the buffets lately? Or, is it just the first year of
falling in love
that’s made you fat?”

Dick. Why? Why can’t we just have a normal conversation without him crushing me into the fucking ground? Be tough, Charlie. Don’t let him do this to you.

“And, that’s my cue. It’s been fun chatting with you, Jess. Gotta go now.” She gathered her things and headed to her car. An envelope with Jesse’s name on it fell out of her purse, and in her haste to get to the vehicle, the slip went unnoticed.

She could hear his laughter in the distance. She cursed the fact that the parking lot was so far away from the pond as each step seemed to take more effort than the one before.

“Chaaarrrrlllliiiieee! Come on! Don’t be so sensitive!”

She could still hear his laughter as she shut the door and started her engine.

*

Returning to the office, she sent Roxanne home and tried to refocus on work. After a long and agonizing day, Charlie flipped the sign on the door to
Closed
and tried to root her drifting thoughts. She called Samuel just to hear his voice.

“Hey, you,” Samuel said.

“Hey, I miss you. Can you come home now?”

“I wish I could, but the meeting had to be rescheduled for tomorrow.”

“No! What happened?”

“It’s been raining since I got here and a cab splashed the shit out of me. I was drenched. So I had to run back into the hotel, shower and change, which of course made me late. So, the band was pissed. Because evidently it’s rare for them to get up before
noon…”

Charlie stopped listening to Samuel’s rant as her mind began to drift.

How can Jess be so beautiful and bright one minute, and such a prick the next? What would make him think those things, let alone have the courage to say them? How can I help him? What words can I find to make him understand that he’ll never have lasting relationships with anyone if he continues to treat them the way he does? Damn it! Why do I feel like he’s my project again all of a sudden, and why am I the one responsible for his happiness? Because. Because I’m the only one who can reach him. I’m the only one he’ll let close enough. And because I’m the only one who can make this right.

“Knock, knock.”

Charlie’s head shot up, realizing that the voice wasn’t Samuel’s. Jess walked into her office, ignoring the sign on the door.

Shit.

“Hey babe, sorry to interrupt, but I gotta go. I’m still at work, and a…a resident just arrived,” she said to Samuel. “Can I call you later?”

“No problem. I’ll call you tomorrow. Love you,” he said.

Looking up at Jesse standing in front of her desk, she mumbled, “Love you, too.” As she hung up her phone, she worried that Samuel had heard the strain in her voice.

She rubbed her forehead with her palms. Intertwining her fingers, she set her hands on the desk and tried to play it cool. “You have to go. You can’t be here.”
Calm, Charlie. Stay calm.

“Were you just about to leave?” Jesse asked, raising an eyebrow.

“No… I’m still working. But it’s after hours. No one is allowed in the office—”

“I came to talk,” he said, clenching his jaw.

“No. Jess, I can’t… This is just too much for me right now,” said Charlie.

Please, just go away.

“What’s too much?”

She stared at Jess, unsuccessful in keeping her eyes from wandering up and down his torso briefly. “You, Jess. You’re too much for me right now.”

“Is it okay if I come back tomorrow, then?”

“What could you possibly need to say to me, Jess?” Her words accelerated. “You’ve been gone for over a year. No. No. NO. I need to keep you out of my head. I can’t seem to keep anything straight when you’re here. Within a week you’ve—” she stopped, refusing to complete the sentence. “It’s bad enough that I know where you live and that I have keys to your apartment… You’re within reach of me here. But then you go and pull that shit in the hallway earlier? And the nasty shit you said to me this afternoon. You’re… You haven’t changed at all.”

Jesse took a step closer to the desk with a familiar look in his eyes. Her chest sank as she let all the air out of her lungs. Feeling that pull they always had, an unexplainable physical drive pushing her to him, she tried to deny the constricting feeling between her thighs.

“Stop right there, Jess. Is this why you came back? To torment me, keep me awake at night, question my relationship with my fiancé? Did I upset you so much that you’ve been planning your revenge for the past year?”

His eyes smoldered as he met her glare, both trying to find the perfect words. Charlie spoke before he could. “You are not
allowed
back in my life. I won’t let you! It’s bad enough that I’ve kept that ridiculous men’s bathroom sign you stole for me, and that every bike I see on the road I look to see who’s riding it, and that you randomly appear in my dreams—”

Charlie’s eyes closed as she felt her vulnerability consume her.

His vengeful smirk fading, Jesse clenched his jaw. “Excuse me Charlie, but
you
don’t get to play the victim here. It was
your
fucking choice, remember? Not mine. You didn’t give a shit what I thought. So don’t you dare pretend like I’m the bad guy,” he said with as much restraint as he could muster.

“Is that what you think? That I didn’t care how you felt? That’s
all
I thought about! You were my best friend, I adored you!” Charlie stood, looking at him with heartbreak written on her face. “Don’t you understand? When you left, it ripped my fucking heart out. I thought you were leaving because of
me
. I wanted you there. I wanted you to stay with me. I wanted you to tell me that I was being a jackass and that we were supposed to be together. But you left. You left without a goodbye. Without a note. Without a phone call! What was that supposed to tell me, Jess? I thought you hated me.”

He paused and took a step back. “And what, you waited all of three days before you started dating
this
guy? …Sounds like you were really heartbroken. You didn’t give a shit about what I was thinking. You were too wrapped up in yourself and how
you
felt.” Mimicking Charlie’s voice, Jesse was now infuriated. “‘Oh, feel sorry for
me
, my little friend is gone and
I’m
lonely.
I’m
a poor defenseless suburban girl who has been sheltered her whole life, and now that my buddy is gone,
I’m
not sure what to do without having him around to
TORTURE
…’ Don’t give me that shit, Charlie!”

Wiping at the tears that blinded her, she looked up when she heard a slam. She stared at the sign on the door waving back and forth.

That night, Charlie woke at the sound of her phone ringing. Scrambling to find it, she checked the caller ID and recognized the number for the on-call maintenance crew. She answered quickly.

“Hello?”

“Hey Charlie, it’s Mark.”

“Hey Mark, what’s going on? What time is it?”

“It’s one o’clock. I just got a call from a resident in your building. Two-oh-one is complaining about the smell of smoke. Are the alarms going off?”

“Oh. No. Um…” Charlie wiped her eyes and threw off her comforter. “I can check it out.”

“Thanks, it’s just that I live in Plymouth, and it’s gonna take me a half hour to get there—”

“Oh, it’s fine, Mark. I’ll go. I’ll give you a call back if it’s something that requires your attention. Go back to bed.”

“Thanks, Charlie.”

Wearing her tank top and a pair of pajama bottoms, she tied on a bandana, slid on her white fluffy slippers and grabbed her work keys. Shuffling down the hall, she took the stairwell up to the second floor.

As soon as she opened the door to the hallway, she could smell it. Familiar but strange, the aroma of cigarette smoke, incense, and something burning filled her nostrils. There was a smoky haze as she looked around.

It smells like burnt nachos and jasmine. Ick.

She knocked on the apartment door and someone opened immediately.

“Hi. You called emergency maintenance?” Charlie said with a yawn.

“Yeah, can you smell that?” asked a short, middle-aged man, grimacing.

“Yes, I can. It’s pretty gross.”

“Just making sure it wasn’t a fire. I gotta work tomorrow.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll check it out. If it was a fire, the alarms would be going off. I’m sure it’s fine. Try to get some sleep.”

Two-oh-one shut the door and Charlie looked around the hall, investigating. As she wandered, the smell intensified. She took off her bandana and covered her nose as her eyes started to water.

Walking past an apartment door, she felt a cold rush of air near the threshold. Hearing faint music and an occasional muffled swear word, she turned to knock and saw the apartment number: two-oh-nine.

Fuck me.

Okay, Charlie. No small talk, just make sure there isn’t a fire and leave.

With a slight hesitation, she knocked. Her ankles were getting cold from the draft coming from under the door. She waited a few seconds before she knocked again.

Open the door, Jess.

She knocked again and still no one came.

Oh god, what if he’s not alone?
She was annoyed at the jealous pangs in her stomach.

She found the master key on her chain and slid it into the lock. She turned it to the left, and after a small click she turned the knob. Knocking again with the door half open, she whispered loudly, “Jess?” The only thing in her view was an open window and the blinds clattering against the glass.

Do I go in? Is this illegal? Think!

She stepped inside and closed the door.

No, it’s a wellness check. Totally legal. And it smells much better in here than it did in the hall, but it’s freezing in here.

“Jess?” she said a little louder.

The short hallway ahead of her blocked her view of the living area in its entirety. She would have to take a few courageous steps into the apartment to find him, hoping she’d be okay with what she would see.

Three steps forward, and she could see him. Relief filled her heart as she saw that he was alone. Sitting on the only chair in the entire apartment, Jess was flipping through his playlists, choosing what music to download to his iPod. The window was wide open and there was a burnt pizza on the top of the oven.

He had on a pair of holey, distressed jeans and a tight, gray, sleeveless T-shirt that defined his abdomen. His nipples were erect, which made Charlie look down quickly to her own. Yes, the room was obviously cold.

When she folded her arms to cover her breasts, the sudden movement caught his eye. With a fleeting jerk, he revealed that she’d surprised him.

She put her hands up in a defenseless position. “I’m just here for a wellness check. Maintenance got a call.” She returned her arms to conceal her chest.

“A what? Wellness check?”

“I just came to make sure you weren’t burning the place down. And now that I see you’re okay, and that your neighbors don’t need to worry about spontaneously bursting into flames in their sleep, I can go.” She turned toward the door and reached for the knob.

“Do you want to stay?”

“No thanks,” she said, opening the door.

“Charlie, come on. You can stay for a drink, can’t you?”