Infinity & Always (5 page)

“Hey
Knox wake up, take off your clothes,” I call, shaking him.

He
mumbles and then sits up to get undressed. I watch him and help when
he gets stuck in his own t-shirt. His hands grip mine until I am in
the bed beside him.

“Don’t
leave me in the morning,” he says, pulling me closer to him.

I
wake up before the sun again but decide to stay in bed with Knox. I
can’t sleep so after a while I get up to make breakfast. In the
kitchen, I go through the mail while the coffee is brewing and Knox’s
pancakes and bacon are warming. I miss being with him every day. It’s
hard to be away from him, but I know we both need this until the
court case is over. Hopefully, once it is, I can relax and start to
feel better.

“I
thought you left.”

Knox
frightens me from the door and I scream, dropping the cup of coffee
into the sink.

“Jesus
Knox!” I shout at him, running my hand under the cold water. He
rushes over to me checking my hand.

“I’m
sorry darlin’,” he says, taking my hand and kissing it.

Pointing
to the table, I make him sit down and eat. He watches me drink
coffee, but doesn’t say anything. I steal a strip of bacon from
him and chew it while I text his dad.

“Richard
will be at the house by ten,” I announce.

“What
is he doing there?”

“It
needs a lot of work, but it’s perfect. I can’t wait to
move in,” I smile at him.

“Sounds
good darlin’,” he looks sad as he speaks.

“Are
you coming to see it?” I can’t keep the hopeful tone from
my voice.

“Do
you want me too?”

“What?
Of course I want you too, don’t be stupid. I mean unless you
want to wait until it’s done.”

I
really want him to want to come with me to share this experience. I
don’t want him to feel left out of anything.

“Sure,
I guess I could come up.” He answers, finishing his coffee.
“Thanks for breakfast, I’m just getting a shower.”

I
watch him take two of his pills and walk down to the bathroom. Going
into the closet, I grab a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. I don’t
have much left here. I make the bed and clean up the kitchen and
still Knox is in the shower. Walking down, I knock on the door.

“Hey
Knox, you okay? We have to leave soon.”

I
wait for a few minutes before walking inside finding him sitting on
the side of the bath in a towel staring at the floor. Kneeling down
in front of him, I bend my head so I can see his face.

“Babe?”
It breaks my heart seeing his red eyes and I know this is just the
beginning of another meltdown between us. Standing up, I turn around
to leave him alone and text Max. Slipping on my shoes, I walk back to
him.

“I’m
going now. I have to meet your dad in ten minutes.”

He
stands up and nods walking into the bedroom. He gets dressed and
grabs his phone.

“Knox,
if you want to stay you can. I texted Max and he is coming here.”

“Why?
I’m fine let’s just get this over with,” he says,
walking by me and opening the door.

“Knox
stay here, I’m not doing this. I told you last night.”

Walking
out of the apartment, I run down the stairs just as Max walks into
the building. “Bailey?” he questions. Shaking my head, I
walk to my car and take off without them.

I
arrive at the house five minutes late and Richard lets me have it.
“Morning Bailey, late for our first appointment.”

“Sorry,”
I mumble, walking to the door. He stops me from opening it and
smiles, telling me he is teasing me, but I’m not in the mood
for it.

“Okay,
show me your new home.”

Opening
the door I lead him inside and we start in the kitchen. I watch him
walk around taking pictures and drawing out each room as it is. When
we reach the master bedroom, he smiles at the balcony.

“Wow,
this is a surprise.”

“Yeah
I like it, so I want to keep it,” I tell him.

“Of
course we’re keeping it. I will have to reinforce it though the
wood looks a little rotten, maybe I’ll stucco it and make it
safer for my grandkids.”

At
his words, I crack, tears pour from eyes and I run into his open
arms. “That son of mine,” he growls, swaying me in his
arms. After a few minutes, I wipe my face and let out a deep sigh.

“Sorry,
let’s get to work.” I force a smile, taking him around
the rest of the upstairs. We reach the kitchen and he spreads his
sheets across the island.

“Now
what are your ideas regarding the bedrooms?” he asks,
rearranging the papers for me to see.

“Well,
I doubt I’ll need six bedrooms, so maybe we can knock down this
wall and make a retreat.”

He
nods as I speak and takes notes, marking weird symbols on the pages.
We go through the upstairs and tackle the sitting room. We walk into
it and both look around - it is dark and cold.

“We
need more light in here. I suggest you take out those windows and put
panels in. We can add about four full-length windows across the whole
wall and you will get the morning sun in here.”

“Yeah,
sounds nice,” I smile at him, picturing a wall full of windows.
We finish this room and the office, then finally the kitchen.

“So
what is your idea for here? It’s quite a large space, but not
very well organized,” Richard says looking around at the walls
and cupboards.

“Rip
it out,” I answer, looking around the room.

“Why?”
he asks, in disbelief.

“I
wanted Knox to decide how he wants it, he is the one who cooks most
of the time, so I want to give him free reign,” I answer,
keeping my face hidden.

“Okay,
I’ll talk to him about what he wants.”

I
catch the stern tone of his voice and Richard’s double meaning.
After I decide on the balcony, I leave him to take his measurements
and give him a spare key saying goodbye.

Knox

I
have been listening to Max for the last hour going on and on about
how much of a dick I am and how I don’t deserve Bailey. That
she should just leave my ass and go find someone else to love.

“I
don’t get you.”

He
says, taking a seat on the sofa. “I mean here you have a
fucking amazing woman and you can’t even treat her right. She
should have never taken you back after the last time.”

“Max,
shut up, what the fuck would you know?”

“I
know a lot more about her than you do!” he shouts at me. “I
think you’re forgetting she turns to me when you’re
fucking pushing her away. I listen to her and know about all the shit
you give her.”

“I
don’t give her shit!” I shout back at him.

“Don’t
you? Why the fuck don’t you ask her about shit instead of
trying to tell her what she is supposed to feel?”

I
want to smack him. “You don’t get it, Max,” I sigh.

“Oh
I get it, Knox, it’s you who doesn’t. What went wrong?
How can you go from making everyone around you sick with jealousy to
making everyone run for cover?”

“I
don’t know, Max, I don’t know how it happened. All I know
is after that last court appearance she changed. She just closed down
and all my attempts to help her failed. She didn’t want me
anywhere near her.”

“Knox,
she needs you. You have to suck it up and tough it out.”

“Seriously,
suck it up? What do think I have been doing? She doesn’t even
let me kiss her anymore! Let alone anything else.”

The
pain behind my eyes explodes almost blinding me. I can’t take
this anymore. The more I stress about it, the more I get headaches.
Walking into the kitchen I take two more pills, grabbing my phone
when it rings.

“Hello?”

“Son,
I need you to come up here. Oh and bring me T-square, I forgot mine.”

“Dad,
I have a headache, I’m not going anywhere near her house,”
I answer, resting my head against the wall.

“I’m
not asking Knox. I’ll see you in ten.”

I
hang up the phone. “Motherfucker!”

“What?”
Max shouts from the sitting room.

“Not
you, dumbass - Dad. Can you drive me up there?”

Max
calls dad back to get the address and we arrive after a few minutes.
Max whistles when we pull into the driveway. The garden is laid out
with flower beds and a water fountain in the middle of the driveway.

“Looks
pretentious,” I moan, climbing out of the truck. Max rolls his
eyes at me walking over to my dad, who is standing by the door.

“Hey
kids,” he calls, hugging Max and frowning before he hugs me
too.

“Dad.”

He
looks at me and shakes his head before walking into the house. I
don’t want to go in. I don’t want to see where my heart
will reside for the rest of my life while my body lives somewhere
else.

“Damn,
this place is awesome!” Max calls out to me.

Stepping
inside, I take a deep breath and follow them into the kitchen. I try
my best not to care, but it is a nice house. I can almost picture
raising kids here.

“Okay
Knox, you have free reign, I was told.”

Dad
says, waving his arm around the kitchen.

“Free
reign for what?” I ask, looking between him and Max.

“The
kitchen, son. Bailey said she wants you to design it considering you
do most of the cooking.”

“Told
you, you’re a fucking dumbass.”

Max
is smiling at me while poking around in the cupboards. My dad is
watching me and I don’t understand what is going on here. Why
would she want me to design her kitchen? Does she think we will still
be friends if things don’t work out? Because that can’t
happen, I couldn’t pretend like that with her. Pretend to be
something I’m not when all I want to do is marry her and grow
old beside her.

“Knox,
the kitchen,” my dad says again. “I was thinking about
doing the same windows in here as what Bailey decided in the sitting
room,” he says, talking to me like I am listening.

“Dad,
stop, just stop for a minute,” I hold up my hand halting him,
taking a deep breath I look at him. “Start again, Dad.”

He
walks us through the house telling us about the designs Bailey has
chosen. He shows us the balcony off the master bedroom and I
instantly know why she fell in love with this place. You can see the
whole lake and the back of Frank’s house. Looking over, I see
her walking through his back yard to the chairs at the lake. She
takes a seat with a book and rests it on her knees.

“Hey
bro, get a load of this!” Max shouts.

Turning,
I walk back through the room and find him looking out a window at
Bailey too. “Yeah, I saw her.”

“You
need to talk to her, Knox. You know she loves you and you love her.
And you are getting a designer kitchen, built by one of the best
architects around.”

Throwing
my arm around his neck, I squeeze and pull him out of the room and
back down to the kitchen. Dad smiles at us and tells me his ideas
about gutting the kitchen and rebuilding.

“Dad,
I know you said free reign, but ripping it all out?”

“That’s
what your fiancée wanted,” he says, showing me the
sketches.

“Can
I take this and work on it?”

“Sure,
I’ll start on the front of the house.”

Max
and I walk around the house again and I can’t help but smile,
thinking about the kitchen I’ll design for Bailey. I know she
loves the window seat in her dad’s house, so I’ll
definitely add one. After an hour of talking with my dad, he packs up
his sketches and heads home; we agree to go over on Sunday for lunch.
Max waves as he climbs into the truck refusing to let me inside.

“Nope,
go talk to your woman!” he shouts, then pulls out of the
driveway, laughing.

Turning
around I take another look at the house and start to walk towards
Frank’s.

For
the last hour, I have studied hard and finally put my book down.
Closing my eyes, I turn up my music and relax in the afternoon
sunshine. I spoke with Rachel earlier and things are moving along.
The judge requested a further statement from me; luckily I can do it
over the phone on Monday.

A
shadow falls over me and I open my eyes finding Knox standing there;
he is looking at me saying nothing.

“What
do you want?”

I
am in no mood for this again today, so I close my eyes and settle
back against the chair. Knox doesn’t answer me, but his shadow
is still there. Sighing, I open my eyes again and go to sit up. His
hands pin my shoulders against the chair and his lips crash into
mine. He kisses me hard and possessively, plunging his tongue into my
mouth. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I kiss him back, just as
hard as he pulls my legs up, hooking them around his waist and takes
a seat on the chair.

His
hand grips my hair as he holds me close, refusing to break the kiss.
I don’t know how long we are kissing and I don’t care. I
miss this, I miss him.

“I
love you darlin’,” he whispers against my lips.

“I
love you too.”

Pulling
back he stares at me for a long moment, brushing my hair back with
his fingers.

“I
miss you darlin’.”

“Me
too,” hanging my head, I feel my heart begin to crack, the
walls I have put up to keep everyone out are starting to crumble at
my feet.

“Are
you okay?” he asks, tracing his fingertips along my collarbone.

“Yeah,
I am now. I’m tired, Knox, I’m tired of fighting with
you.”

“I’m
sorry darlin’. I’m so sorry for not being there for you.”

I
press my lips to his again, not wanting to stop now that I have
started again. Knox devours my mouth, taking all of me.

“You
kids want to come up for air or dinner?” my dad shouts at us.

Pulling
back, I bite my lip trying to hold in my laugh. Knox stands up
holding me where I am.