Infinity & Always (3 page)

He
just shrugs taking a sip of his beer, “I thought I’d feel
different.”

“How
so?” I ask.

“I
thought I would feel high and have a crazy celebration.” He
chuckles, peeling the label off the beer bottle.

“What’s
stopping you?”

He
looks at me for a few minutes, before brushing a loose piece of hair
behind my shoulder. His eyes look sad even though he smiles at me,
and we just stare at each other for a few minutes.

“I
better get going, I have homework to do. You’re lucky you
graduated already,” I sigh. Knox slides out of the booth to let
me out and walks me to my car in silence.

“Okay,
have a goodnight.”

“Yeah,”
he sighs, stepping closer to me and taking my left hand in his. “You
don’t wear it anymore.” He whispers, rubbing his thumb
across my ring finger.

“It
doesn’t fit,” I explain, again.

“I
know. I’m proud of you too, darlin’, for going back to
school and getting on the team. You are pretty good at that.”

“Thanks.”

He
pulls me into him, hugging me tight. Wrapping my arms around him I
hug him back. He kisses my temple “night darlin’.”

“Night
babe,” I reply automatically.

He
lets me go, watching as I drive away.

When
I get home, I fill the rest of the night with assignments and
reading. I make it my mission to graduate. I want to do something
with my life.

***

By
Saturday morning my body is sore; we worked out hard on Wednesday
night and I have to agree with Knox and my coach, I have lost too
much weight. When the elevator opens, I step out and walk into my
office, finding stacks of paperwork on the desk.

“Jesus,”
I moan, as I plop down in my chair. Pulling the first stack towards
me, I start to read through it and sign where I need to. After a few
hours I make my way down to the employee café, grabbing a
sandwich and coffee. Looking around I spot Knox sitting with some of
the engineers and their new assistant, Meagan.

“Hi.”
I wave and I take a seat at the next table. Knox excuses himself and
joins me. “What are you doing here on a Saturday?” I ask
him.

“Just
going over some stuff for Monday.”

“Oh
okay, you can sit with them you know.”

“I
know,” he sighs, “but I don’t want too. I didn’t
think you’d be in today.”

“Yeah
well, just because my dad owns the place doesn’t mean I can
slack off.”

He
smiles at me and shakes his head. “I know, Frank can be a bit
hard at times.”

“Hey
Knox, we are going back down now,” Meagan smiles as she lays
her hand on his shoulder.

Rolling
my eyes, I bite my sandwich and take out my protein shake.

“Okay
thanks,” he answers.

She
looks between us, and then leaves, pouting. I can’t hold my
laughter anymore and crack up just as she reaches the door.

“Darlin’
please,” Knox hangs his head in embarrassment.

“Aw,
what’s wrong babe? Don’t you want her to know you’re
engaged to the boss’ daughter?”

Knox
looks up at me and frowns. “I’ll leave you to finish your
lunch.”

Standing,
he picks up my protein shake and reads the label before putting it
down and walking away. Grabbing the bottle, I throw away my lunch and
head back to my office, picking up the phone as I dial.

“Hello.”

“Hey,
Paige.”

“Hey
Bailey, is it Saturday already? I feel like we just talked
yesterday,” she laughs.

“Wow,
the party was that good?” I question, remembering she was out
last night.

We
talk for about an hour, which we do every Saturday. I tell her about
my life and she tells me about hers.

“Damn
Bailey, I’d go down to the dungeon and bust his ass,” she
sighs.

“Yeah,
maybe I’ll take a walk in a bit.”

After
another few minutes, we hang up and I decide to drop into the
engineering department in the basement. I call it the dungeon, but
it’s not really. The space is an open plan with desks all
around and huge bright lights overhead. When I walk into the room,
Meagan smiles at me.

“Good
afternoon Miss Mortenson.”

“Meagan,
how are you?” I ask, but I really don’t give a shit. She
has only been here three weeks and she already asked both Knox and
Max out on dates.

“I’m
good, can I help you with anything?” she asks, giving me a
tight smile.

I
know from Max that she thinks this room is hers and that all the guys
are hers too.

“No,”
I answer and walk away.

“So,
checking up on me?” Knox asks from behind me.

I
keep walking, checking out the designs as I go. “No, just
looking, checking on the family business.”

“Yeah,
is that what you call it?” he asks again, stopping at his desk.

I
just smile and keep going until I reach Byron, one of my Dad’s
oldest and friendliest employees.

“Hi
Byron,” I smile at him.

“Hey
boss lady,” he winks at me.

He
has called me that since I started working here three years ago. I
stop beside him and give him a hug. He shows me what he is working on
and I smile at him.

“I
think I should be calling you Boss,” I tease him and he howls
out a laugh. I talk with Byron for a while, asking about his family.
We say goodbye and I hug him again, walking back over to Knox. He
keeps his head down while he works and I peek over his shoulder.

“Can
I help you?” he asks.

“No,
just saying goodbye,” I answer, leaving him alone.

Passing
Meagan she plasters on her smile and says goodbye. She actually
reminds me of my Mom. Back in my office, I get through all the papers
and finish up just after three o’clock. Stretching out on my
sofa I open my protein shake and chug it. Looking around my walls, I
can’t help but feel like shit. Every picture I have is of Knox
and I. The one of us on the beach celebrating my birthday two years
ago is my favorite. I had it blown up and hung it in here because I
loved it so much.

I
walk over to it and stare at it, running my fingers across Knox’s
face. Our life seemed so simple then, he was mine and I was his. But
now, I have no idea where I stand. Well maybe I do, but I just don’t
want to see it.

“You
were happy then.”

His
voice sounds from behind me. I quickly wipe my eyes and turn around
to face him.

“I’m
happy now,” I smile, walking over to my desk to get my bag.

Knox
steps into the office and closes the door, “Can we talk?”

Nodding,
I sit on the sofa and he sits across from me on the chair. He looks
at me for a while before speaking.

“How
are you doing?” he asks.

“Fine,”
I reply, a little confused at his formality.

“Good,
I’m happy you are doing better, Bailey. Do you know when this
court case is happening?”

“No,
not yet. I haven’t heard from Rachel since the other day.”

I
sigh, kicking my feet up onto the coffee table. Knox stands and walks
around to me. Taking a seat beside me he lifts my legs onto his lap.

“How
was practice?”

“Painful,
I forgot how hard Becky hits,” I chuckle.

We
stay silent for a minute, both of us lost in our own minds. My door
flies open revealing Meagan.

“Oh
I’m sorry, I thought you were gone already,” she says,
looking between us.

“If
I were gone, Meagan, my door would be locked and you would have had
known that if you bothered to knock,” I snap at her.

“Yes,
sorry about that,” she says, playing the young innocent
secretary with the big scary boss.

“What
did you want?” I ask.

“Oh,
I forgot to give this to you when you visited earlier,” she
leans over Knox to hand me a file.

“Thanks,
Meagan.” Taking the file from her, I flick through it quickly.
It’s nothing important and I don’t even have to sign it.
Lifting my head I tune into her and Knox, she is talking about going
to the bar tonight and asking if he will be there.

“I’m
always there,” he answers.

I
take my feet off of his lap and put my shoes back on, “Okay,
well you can both bugger off since I’m going home.” I
announce, grabbing my purse off the floor again.

“Oh
me too, see you later.” She smiles at Knox.

I
just close my office door and lock it throwing the file she gave me
into my dad’s mail slot on my way past his door. The elevator
ride down to the garage is silent and awkward. Once we arrive, I walk
past both of them to my car.

“Wait
up, darlin’,” Knox calls, jogging after me. “Can I
get a ride home?” he asks.

I
am about to answer when Meagan offers to take him home. “Problem
solved,” I answer climbing into my car. He jumps into the
passenger seat.

“Now
it is,” he smiles over at me.

We
arrive at the apartment and he asks me to come up to talk. Following
him I feel sad when I walk in. This has been my home for three years
and I have to admit, it feels horrible being away from it.

“You
want some dinner?” he asks.

“No,
thanks. I just had a shake.”

I
automatically sit on my side of the sofa and kick off my shoes while
pulling the throw over myself. I snuggle down. Knox brings me in a
cup of hot chocolate and stops when he sees me. He looks confused and
puts the drink down on the table.

“You
okay?” I ask, watching him.

“Yeah,
it just brings back memories seeing you like that.”

“Oh
sorry,” I quickly pull off the throw and sit up putting my
shoes back on. “Thanks for the drink.”

“I
didn’t mean for you to get up, Bailey.”

I
wave him off and take a sip of the hot liquid. I don’t know why
I even came here.

“I
want to come with you,” he blurts out.

“Excuse
me?” I ask, looking over at him, wondering why he has decided
to be by my side now.

“I
mean go to Grove with you.”

“I
know what you meant,” I smirk at him. “I just don’t
know why now.”

“I’ve
been thinking about things lately, and I know I have been acting like
an overprotective ass. I just want to keep you safe darlin’,
that’s all I ever wanted since seeing you after that last time
in court. I couldn’t take it anymore. He fucked you up again,
and I lost you.”

I
remember that last day I was in court and I had to Provide testimony
against Ben. He sat in the courtroom with a smug look on his face as
I relived what he did to me. His attorney tried to make out that I
provoked him and I hit him first, but it was his word against mine. I
was a wreck afterward. I stayed in bed for weeks and wouldn’t
talk to anyone or let Knox near me. My nightmares even came back,
adding to the list of problems.

“Bailey?”

Turning,
I find Knox staring at me with a worried expression. “I’m
fine Knox. I should go.”

“No,
I don’t want you to go,” he says taking hold of my arm.
“I’m sorry darlin’, I miss you like crazy, and I
know I shouldn’t have told you leave. I was just angry and hurt
and…” he closes his eyes and sighs. “I want you
back, all of you, Bailey, not just the shell. I love you so much
darlin’, this is killing me.”

“Me too, but I don’t trust myself, Knox. I don’t
know if I can give you everything again.”

“I
still have everything, darlin’. I never gave it back, so you
can’t justify that answer.”

I
can’t help but smile. I know he owns every piece of my heart
and soul, but I also know that over the next few weeks I won’t
be what he wants me to be.

“You
know how this will play out Knox. I don’t think you understand
just how much Ben has affected my life. Every part of me hurts from
him and therapy helped, but it didn’t heal me. I don’t
think anything can.”

“I
can darlin’. I promise I can. Just let me in,” he begs.
“Baby,” he whispers.

Closing
my eyes, I fight hard to keep him out. I feel like I’m drowning
without him, but drifting out to sea when we are together.

“Don’t
darlin’, don’t shut me out.”

Opening
my eyes, I look at him for a long time. I want so much to crawl back
into his arms, but my resolve builds again, one brick at a time and
Knox deflates. I can see it in his face the minute I harden my heart
against his words. He lets my hands drop and falls back against the
sofa, rubbing his face. I walk out of the apartment without another
word, only stopping on the stairs, ready to run back to him. But I
force me feet forward and drive home, mentally healing the wound I
just caused myself.

Over
the last few weeks, I have pushed myself in my classes and practice.
The date for the court has been set for November 5th. Pulling into
the office, I go straight up to my dad’s and sink down into the
chair.

“Hi,
sweetheart.”

“Hi,
Dad.”

“Good
news,” he smiles at me, pulling out a large envelope from the
drawer and handing it over. Opening it, I pull out the papers and
read through them.

“No,
way!” I scream. Jumping up, I dance around my dad’s
office laughing and waving the papers above my head. My dad is
smiling at me and I pull him up to swing him around with me.

“Oh,
Dad, I can’t believe it.”

“Believe
it, you are now the proud owner of 5811 Lakeview Crest.”

I
dance around some more and hug the papers close to my chest. “Oh
wow,” I breathe.

“You
deserve it, sweetheart,” Dad says, hugging me.

“Do
you think I should share my news?”

I
told my Dad about my talk with Knox. He said he understood where I
was coming from, but he also knows what it’s like to be on the
receiving end. I was absolutely wrecked when he told me my Mom
treated him the way I am treating Knox, but he did say Knox had a
part to play in it too.