Independent Women - the Complete BWWM Romance Series Boxset (30 page)

#Chapter3

“Lies, all lies.”

Tamika
 

Tamika spun around in her seat and stopped when she faced Jin, “Oh my goodness, I’m so tired that I’m delirious but I know that I wouldn’t be able to sleep if I went home. Don't you just hate that?”

Jin laughed, “I was wondering what was keeping you so long.”

The work day ended over an hour before, but Tamika wasn’t ready to go home. It was empty there, and she kept looking at the door, expecting Reggie to walk in. She wanted him to show up but at the same time she didn’t want to see his face. It was a huge dilemma because she missed her husband terribly. However, he was living a life that she didn’t know anything about and it scared the hell out of her. What kind of man was she married to? Now she was afraid to step outside of her job and to leave from home every day. Were people going to show up and beat her up too? If it could happen to Reggie’s brother, Paul, then it could happen to her.

“So tell me, what’s going on with you? How have things been at home? What you went through wasn’t easy and I can only imagine the strain that it’s put on you.”

Tamika raised an eyebrow, she wanted to vent but it probably wasn’t a good idea.

Jin rose his hands in surrender, “I understand if you don’t want to talk about it. You don’t have to discuss anything with me. I’m just worried about you. You haven’t been your usual self.”

She slipped her feet out of her 4 inch black patent leather Louboutins. They were comfortable but having them on all day was just too much. “It’s not that I don’t want to talk to you, I just don’t know if I should.”

“Like I said before, I understand. You don’t owe me an explanation. I just want to let you know that I’m here for you.”

He had an authentic look of concern on his face and she could use someone to talk to. Trusting Jin with her secrets was nothing new but sex severely changed the dynamic of their friendship. At least she knew exactly where she stood with Jin. He stayed honest and he never hid anything, even when it was uncomfortable for him to tell the truth.

“Thank you,” she replied, “I’m just so tired. Things with my husband have completely fallen apart. He’s been out of the house for about a month now and adjusting to it is killing me. I’m torn between wanting him back and wanting to serve him with divorce papers.”

Jin sighed. He hated to see Tamika so upset over a man that didn’t deserve her. She deserved the best and if she was with him, then that’s exactly what she would get. He still could remember the feeling of being inside of her, of caressing her skin, and hearing her moans. He’d wanted that for so long. Actually he wanted much more than sex from Tamika but she was married. The encounter that they had was wrong, even though she initiated it, he should have stopped her. He grew up in a very family oriented environment.  If his sister knew what he’d done, she would slap him on the back of the head. But Tamika was different, being with her didn’t feel wrong, it felt like it was exactly what they should have been doing. She was something special. Everything about her was captivating, and he always wanted more. He mentored her because he saw the untapped potential inside of her and she rose to the occasion. Whenever she closed a big account the look of glee on her face made him want to kiss her. She was so damned sexy when she worked, it was her element.

“I’m sorry to hear that you’re having those kinds of troubles at home,” Jin said with concern, “Is he contacting you? Has he tried to come home?”

“Yes, he tries to come home but I can’t let him in my place. I won’t go into extreme detail, but he’s put me and the rest of his family in jeopardy. We’re not safe; at least I don’t feel safe. He’s into something and I have no clue what it is. It’s killing me on the inside, I feel like I’ve married a damned stranger.”

“Do you need to move?” Jin asked.

“I don’t think so, so far nothing has happened and Reggie swears that I’m safe and that I’ll be okay. I hope that he can at least come through on that promise.”

“Where has he been staying?”

“He’s been staying with his brother, I think. I don’t know what to do. He wants to talk to me, but I can’t stand to listen to anymore of his lies. Ugh, I’m just confused.”

“You’re not confused,” Jin said, “You know exactly what you want to do, you’re just hesitant about doing it.”

“Oh really? What do you think that I want?”

He shook his head, “In this case I don’t have a clue. However, I’m willing to bet that you’re swinging more towards one way than the other. This is a major life decision, don’t take it lightly. However, when you make the decision, stop second guessing yourself. Life is too short to regret doing the things that you want. Whatever you choose, just know that I’m here for you.”

“Wow, you sound like you almost mean it.”

“Of course I mean it. There is nothing that you couldn’t ask me for. If I have it, then I will give it to you.”

“You don’t know just how much I appreciate that. Right now, I really don’t want to go home.”

“Then how about we postpone that and you come out to dinner with me.”

“I would like that.”

“Great! I’ll go grab my things and meet you by the elevator.”

Tamika watched him as he walked out of her office, she tried not to look at his butt. It was hard to keep her eyes off of it; she knew what it felt like. He was being so nice to her, even when she’d been nothing but a bitch to him. She was the queen of mixed signals and he still hadn’t written her off yet. He’d been a great friend. There were many evenings that he hung around and talked to her for hours after work, no questions asked.

The tension between them was always there but they ignored it, it was for the best. Complicating things further would do nothing to help her find out what she truly wanted. The risk of being a complete wreck afterwards kept her from kissing him.

*

A half hour later they were out at the BLT bar and grill on Washington Street in downtown Manhattan. Those who worked in the financial district would usually find themselves relaxing their after work but it had been a while since Tamika had been there. She was certainly enjoying herself and Jin was being extremely talkative, even more than usual. It was nice.

“Did I tell you about the time that my sister pushed me down the stairs?” Jin asked.

Tamika raised her eyebrow, “No you didn’t. Do I even want to know? What did you do?”

He gave an evil grin, “I gave her a wet willy.”

“Eww! That’s disgusting Jin. Why do boys think that’s so funny to do to someone else?”

He hunched his shoulders, “What’s the big deal?”

“The big deal? Umm you’re licking your finger and sticking it into another person’s ear. It’s so nasty. So how long ago was this?”

“About 2 years ago.”

“You can’t be serious.”

He looked at her without a trace of humor in his face, “I’m not joking.”

“You’re too damned old to do some shit like that!”

He broke into a smile, “We were in high school, I’m just messing with you.”

“Thank goodness, because I was about to look at you differently.”

“Now I’m hurt.”

“Lies, all lies.”

“Okay, you may have a point but I was hurt a little bit.”

“Luckily my image of you is intact. I can forgive you for being a disgusting teenage boy.”

“Glad to hear that.”

Tamika studied Jin’s facial features. His smile was mesmerizing; he had a perfect set of teeth. It made her wonder if he had veneers, but she wasn’t going to ask. When he smiled his slanted eyes looked as if they were closed, it was adorable. She stroked his hand absentmindedly; his thumb mimicked her action between the flesh of her thumb and forefinger. It was a small gesture, but she felt it all over.

“Why are you single, Jin?” Tamika asked, “I’m sorry I guess I’m assuming that you’re single. Are you single?”

He laughed, “Yes I’m single.”

“Why? You’re a great guy. Are you just playing the field right now?”

“No I’m not playing the field. I’m just waiting to meet the right woman. When I find her then I won’t have a problem with making a commitment. I’m at the point in my life where I value quality over quantity.”

 “So there was a point in your life where you didn’t?”

“I guess you could say that I’ve always valued quality,” he said as he stared into her eyes. Her heart leaped out of her chest, he was talking about her. She pulled her hand away from his and fished inside of her purse. She needed to do something with her hands. After locating her lipstick she reapplied it and focused on her chicken tenders and cocktail.

“Does being around me make you feel awkward?” Jin asked.

“It seem like it?”

“Maybe I’m just being paranoid. After what happened between us, we’ve never been able to get back what we once had.”

“I don’t know what to say about that. I crossed the line with you, so some boundaries had to be put in place.”

“I understand and it was for the best. You have a marriage to protect.”

“Now that’s up for debate.”

“Until you make your decision, there is no debate.”

“Fair enough.”

***

Tamika walked into her empty condo and dropped her things by the door. She usually had to put things in their proper place because Reggie liked everything to be neat, but he wasn’t there to get on her nerves regarding cleanliness and organization.

She walked directly to her master bathroom, stripped off her clothing and makeup, and went to bed. The king size mattress felt excessive, she could roll over quite a few times and never reach the opposite end. The bed seemed a lot smaller when Reggie was in it. His presence was missed. It wasn’t the life that she envisioned for herself when she stood at the altar and pledged before God and her family to love him forever.

Reggie was the man that she’d wanted since she was an adult. Never in a million years did she believe that they would be on the verge of a divorce. Hell must have frozen over because she was living in the twilight zone.

As her head sank into her memory foam pillow she remembered the morning that Reggie came over. It was the night after she put him out, that morning kept playing over and over in her head.

Reggie arrived at the condo and let himself in, he found Tamika sitting at the dining room table and nursing a cup of coffee. He stood in the doorway, she didn’t acknowledge his presence.

“Good morning,” he said.

“Your things are packed up and in the closet by the door. Of course, it’s not everything but it will serve your immediate needs. When I’m at work you can come by and get the rest of your things,” she said without looking at him. Her voice was monotone and devoid of emotion.

“I didn’t come here to get my stuff, I came here to talk to you. I don’t want us to end. You’re my wife and we need to work this out.”

“Now you want to work things out? Being with you has been complete hell. I’ve jumped through hoops and turned a blind eye for our entire relationship, I don’t have any interest in doing it anymore.”

“That’s how you feel about our marriage?”

“Go ahead, lie to me. Tell me it’s not true. Tell me that I haven’t loved you more than you loved me.”

“I do love you.”

She scoffed, “But not enough to be honest with me. You got fired from your job, you’re carrying around guns, and you got your brother attacked.”

“First of all it’s not ‘guns’ it was only a ‘gun.”

“One gun is more than enough,” she said raising her voice. “You can try to be a thug all you want but you won’t do it here.”

“I’m not a thug.”

“I sure can’t tell. You stay out at odd hours, you lie about having a job, you’re coming up with money and I don’t know where it’s from, and you treat your wife like shit. Sounds like a damned thug to me.”

“Can we just have a rationale conversation without you being dramatic?” Reggie said.

“Get your shit and get out.”

Reggie stood in the doorway. Tamika waiting on his rebuttal, instead, she heard him walk out of the door.

As she lay in bed, she could still hear the sound of the door closing in her head. She never expected him to walk out, she thought that he came there to fight for them, but instead he left. That’s when she knew that everything she believed about him was true. Her tears soaked her pillow as she cried herself to sleep.

#Chapter4

“I’m the reason that you got jumped Paul,”

Reggie

Reggie sat in his huge leather chair and sat up straight. He was supposed to be listening to what the senior partner was talking about but it was difficult. Too many thoughts were running though his head. He missed his wife, terribly. Not even his brand new position at the law firm could make him feel better. It didn’t mean anything without Tamika. What good was having money if he couldn’t share it with the woman he loved?

He’d spent months trying to get his life back on track, only to have it all get shot to hell. Why did life do that? When you take one step forward, you then get pushed two steps back.  Everything felt so unfair. ‘You’ve brought this on yourself,’ he thought to himself. It was true, he did bring the drama to his own front door, but that didn’t make it any easier to bear.

Every day he tried to call his wife, and every day it went straight to voice-mail She blocked his cell phone number and she refused to answer any number that she didn’t know. He’d tried calling her from work but now she’d blocked that too. She wouldn’t even give him a real chance to explain himself. How could she just throw everything that they had away? After all that they’d been through.

Some days he was pissed with her and other days he wanted her back. Today was a day when all he wanted to do was hold her in his arms. She gave some of the best hugs, she fit his body perfectly. They were meant for one another and now it was all over but it couldn’t be over. They stood at the altar and promised to love each other through better or through worse. With time, Tamika would come around. She would see how much he loved her and she would come back. He knew his wife very well, he knew she would eventually miss him.

However, the look on her face when she told him to get out would be forever etched into his mind. There weren’t many people in his life that he cared about and she was one of them. Now, she was slipping from his grasp. He had to do something to get his wife back so that he could enjoy his life. It was time for him to find a way to get back into her good graces. All Tamika ever wanted to do was love him, and he disrespected their union time and time again.

From the very beginning of their relationship, he was a liar. She really had no clue about his country bumpkin background and he kept her in the dark about Mimi. If she found out the complete truth, she would probably never speak to him again. Giving her a partial version of reality was going to be his best bet. It was best if she heard it from him rather than anyone else. If he could get her to speak to him, then he was going to beg for her forgiveness.

“Reginald? Do you have any questions?” Thomas asked.

“No, I don’t have any questions,” he said automatically, before he looked at his assistant. She gave him a slight wink to indicate that she had it all under control.

He was fortunate enough to be able to bring her to meetings. She was in her 50’s and extremely efficient. An old assistant was exactly what he needed; it would cause less drama at home. Although, she gave a new meaning to what 50 looked like. Catherine was fit, with long black hair that stayed in an efficient ponytail, and very pretty. She had a type A personality but beneath it all, you could tell that she was probably a certified freak when she got home with her husband. That was another thing; she was married, and extremely faithful. She made that perfectly clear to Reginald when she met him. He found it endearing and of course he respected it.

“Alright, then we’re going to bring this meeting to a close. I’ll see all of you in the morning,” Thomas said.

After he closed the meeting, everyone stood around and talked. They could all go home at that point but it was an unspoken rule that they were expected to mingle and make small talk. Reggie had more than his fair share of people waiting around to speak to him. He was already quite popular within the office; he figured it was just because of his stature and good looks. Who didn’t want to be friends with the good looking black guy? 

“I heard that you’re kicking ass on the Jones case,” Robert said to him.

“Yeah, I’m doing my best. It’s a challenge because they’re completely lawyered up on the other side but I’m learning a lot from Thomas. He’s taken me under his wing and he’s showing me the ropes.”

“Let him tell it, he hasn’t had to show you much,” Robert said.

Reggie smiled at the short white man in front of him. Usually those kinds of compliments made Reggie uneasy because they seemed back handed but he could tell that Robert really meant it. Reggie often wondered how such a genuinely nice man ended up in law. Plenty of people started off nice in law school but the process beat that out of them. By the end of it, most of them were exhausted and mentally drained hard asses. Not Robert though, he always had a smile on his face, it was disarming. His smile reached his whiskey brown eyes and they twinkled. He just seemed like a man that always told the truth.

“I appreciate that, I’m hoping that I can keep up the good work,” Reggie replied.

“I’m sure you can. I’m about to get the hell out of here, my wife has been blowing my phone up,” Robert said before they parted ways.

Reggie wished that he had those problems. There used to be a time when he hated to see Tamika’s number on his phone. It felt like she was just way too clingy for his personal taste but now he was thirsty for a call or text. It’s funny how quickly the things that you don’t appreciate can be snatched away with no warning.

Reggie slipped out of the conference room before anyone else could stop and talk to him. With any luck he would be able to get to his office, grab his coat, and head out of the door. He wasn’t in the mood to socialize with anyone.

His plan was working until he grabbed his jacket, “Uh oh, why the sad face? Are you stressing out?” Janet asked him.

Janet was one of the other first years. The only difference was that she was young and fresh out of law school. She still thought that being a lawyer was cool, she wasn’t jaded yet. Adorable was too easy of a word to describe her. She was blonde with a cherubic face that a person could stare at for hours. Mandy Moore came to mind whenever he saw her. 

“No, I’m just ready to get out of here. It’s been a long day,” Reggie replied.

“Aww does that mean that you don’t want to come out and have drinks with me?” she asked.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t. I have to get home.”

“Maybe next time?” she asked expectantly.

“Sure, the next time the team goes out. I’ll be there.”

Her smile wavered a little. They both knew that she wasn’t talking about drinks with the team. She wanted to have drinks one on one. In his mind, there was no way that he was going to let that happen.

“Umm okay,” she said, “Enjoy your evening.”

Luckily she wasn’t as forward as other women. She knew that he was letting her down easy and she let him. She saw the wedding ring on his finger, she should have known better anyway. He could do anything to that girl that he wanted but it was frowned upon to sleep with people from the office and jeopardizing his new position and the potential to save his marriage was worth way more than a cute little blonde. Janet wasn’t going to have problems finding a man, so he didn’t worry about hurting her feelings. Shit, she needed to go after available men anyway.

As Reggie walked out of the building he laughed to himself when he imagined what Janet’s parents would probably say if she brought him home. He wasn’t an unintimidating black man; he was a huge dark black man. They would probably have a heart attack, and Janet looked like the kind of girl that would get off on something like that. She probably only screwed black boys when she went to Jamaica for spring break.

The subway ride to his brother’s house felt like it was taking forever. Not even the train performers were making the time go by faster. A person hasn’t lived until they’ve seen the random talent on the New York train. On that particular day, there was a flash mob that burst out singing and dancing to Usher’s song, Good
Kisser. It
was an interesting choice and a little too explicit for his personal taste but the kids had skills. He couldn’t deny that, so when it was time for him to pay up for their talents, he didn’t have any problem with putting $10 into one of the boy’s hats. Tamika was a good kisser, and no other woman could compare to her. Ugh, he hated it when those thoughts plagued him. He wanted his damn wife back; she needed to stop being so stubborn all the time.

Finally he got to his brother’s apartment. His brother was recovering well but not well enough to go back to work. He was working from home and enjoying every minute of it. Reggie let himself into the apartment and went in search of his brother.

“What’s up?” Paul said. He was sitting in the dining room wearing his NYU sweats.

“Nothing much, what’s up with you?”

“Just chilling, done with work for now. I’m considering watching some TV.”

“When are you taking your ass back to work?” Reggie asked.

“I am back at work, I’m just doing it from home. Why does it bother you so much anyway?”

“It doesn’t bother me. I guess it’s just my way of asking when you’re going to feel good enough to return.”

Paul shrugged, “I’m waiting on the doctor to clear me. I have an appointment next week. I think that he may allow me to go back. I’m not sure, it depends on how my ribs are healing.”

Reggie closed his eyes as the overwhelming sensations of guilt washed over him. It was his fault that his brother was so messed up. He was on crutches because his leg was broken and some of his ribs were broken. He was healing nicely but it wasn’t fast enough for Reggie. His brother was the kind of guy that lived at the basketball court whenever he could and now he would be lucky if he could ever play again.

“Dude, stop staring at me like you want to kiss me. That shit is creepy as fuck,” Paul said.

“Shut up. I swear mom dropped you on your head as a baby. If it wasn’t for me your ass would still be down there.”

Paul laughed, “Believe me I know. Who peed in your Cheerios this morning? You seem like you’re in a bad mood.

“I am in a bad mood. I need to find a place. I’m grateful for you letting me crash here but I need my own space. Besides, that bed that you’ve got in your guest room is horrible.”

“It’s supposed to be horrible,” Paul laughed, “It’s the guest bed. I didn’t want anyone getting too comfortable.”

“You don’t have to worry about that. That mattress is hard as hell.”

“It’s up to you if you want to stay in it or not.”

Reggie shook his head, “Do you want me to leave or something?”

“Why are you talking dumb? Sit your ass down. I swear you’ve been off ever since you got here.”

Reggie did as his brother told him, not because he was scared but because it seemed like a great idea. He needed to sit down. He reached to the left of him and poured himself a drink from the crystal container filled with bourbon.

“Damn, this is good,” he said as he let the smooth flavor spread over his tongue and lubricate his throat. It pooled into his stomach and made him feel warm all over. It was then that he realized that he needed to eat. Drinking on an empty stomach was never a good idea, but screw it, he’d already started.

“Are you going to tell me about what happened between you and Tamika? I mean, you kind of owe me an explanation at this point,” Paul said.

“I don’t know if I’m ready to talk about it.”

“You need to talk about it. You’ve been moping around here since you got here and I need to know why you aren’t with your wife. That woman loves the hell out of you, so what did you do?”

“I fucked up, that’s what I did.”

“In what way? Did you cheat?”

“You already know about Mimi right?” Reggie asked.

“Hell yeah I know about Mimi, how could I not? Please don’t tell me that you’re still messing around with her crazy ass.”

“I had to, I lost my job at the firm a while back and I had to come up with another way to get some damned capital. It all got shot to hell when I thought that the cops were coming. I dropped her stash in the garbage and ran for it. After that she started hitting me up for large amounts of cash and then…”

Reggie wanted to finish the rest but it had a lot to do with Paul. It was the very reason that his brother was in that predicament in the first place. It was his fault that his brother got beat up on the street after work and hospitalized. He took a huge gulp of the bourbon.

“Just spit it out dude, clearly, your ass needs a confessional.”

“I’m the reason that you got jumped Paul, I am so sorry,” Reggie said quickly before he changed his mind.

Reggie waited for his brother to scream and yell at him. He fully expected to be put out of his brother’s house.

“Man I already knew that shit,” Paul said, “I’ve been waiting on you to come clean since it happened.”

“How did you know?”

“The men said that it was because of you before they did it. I didn’t know what you were mixed up in but I wanted you to be the one to tell me about why it happened.”

“I’m so sorry man.”

“I appreciate the apology but I’ve forgiven you already.”

“Damn, I can’t believe that you already knew.”