Independent Women - the Complete BWWM Romance Series Boxset (11 page)

“You like it, Baby?” Tamika asked.

“Yeah, it’s really good.”

“I have something that I want to talk to you about.”

“Uh oh, should I be afraid?”

“I don’t think so; it’s really more of a question.”

“Alright, go ahead.”

“I was wondering how you would feel about having a baby.”

A piece of shrimp almost got caught in his throat and he felt like he was going to choke. The last thing they needed was a child. He could hardly afford the lifestyle that they were living and he’d be damned if she had to take over the finances. 

“I thought that we already talked about this,” he pleaded. “We will visit this subject when the time is right. I’m in the middle of a transition at my job, you’re climbing the ladder at your job, and it’s not the right time.”

“So you’re saying that you don’t want a baby?”

“Yes, that’s what I’m saying. I don’t have the time to dedicate to a child, and you need to realize that you don’t either. Look at the amount of hours that we clock in every day and week. When are we supposed to take care of a kid? I think that we can revisit this conversation in a couple of years, but right now it’s not an option. That's the end of it.”

He completely shut her down, and there was a level of seriousness in his tone that told her that he would have a fit if she told him the truth. She considered an abortion for a brief moment and then talked herself out of it. She could make adjustments for a baby. It’s not like they were poor. She could get maternity leave and things would be fine. Successful people had kids all the time so what was the big deal?

He’d been acting so ridiculous lately. Maybe he was trying to tell her that he didn’t want a baby with her. It was possible that he didn’t plan on being with her in the next couple of years, so why tie yourself down to a woman that you plan on leaving? Was there someone else in his life?

She felt a little hypocritical about having those concerns, considering the fact that she wasn’t sure if he was the father of their child. But, now that she knew for sure, she could place her focus back on their relationship. What if he just didn’t want her anymore?

“Did I upset you by saying that?” He asked.

“N-no, you didn’t upset me. I just figured that I would ask. I guess I’m just tired of waiting. We always have to wait on something else before we can start our family.”

“I just want to do it the right way. I want to give my kid the same kind of life that your family gave to you. They established themselves and then had a family.”

“We’re pretty established Reggie, you’re a lawyer for Christ sakes, it doesn’t get much more stable than that.”

He wanted to tell her the truth so that she would get off his back, but that would only open up another can of worms that he wasn’t prepared for. The sooner he shut down the baby conversation the better. He hoped to be out of the drug game in six months and back into a firm. Then they wouldn’t have to wait a whole two years before they could have a baby. There wasn’t any use in having a child together if she was going to leave him. If she knew what the hell he was up to, she was going to be out of the door. Bringing a child into the madness would be selfish and inconsiderate. He wished that his parents had cared enough to wait. Granted, he had a good life but that was only because he went out and got it for himself. He also made sure that his brother didn’t have to struggle the way that he did. He was too busy making sure that the people who were already on God’s green earth were okay, another liability wasn’t needed.

“You’re right, Tamika but I’m telling you that right now isn’t the right time. Damn, are you going to make me have a baby with you right now? Can you just be patient? Babies aren’t going anywhere; once they’re here you’re stuck with them.”

“That’s what having a baby would feel like for you? Being stuck?”

“Right now, that’s the only feeling that I can identify with and that’s a huge reason as to why I’m not ready. I don’t feel like being bothered with a kid.”

“I don’t even know what to say, you’ve known how I’ve felt about children from the moment that we met and I thought that we were on the same page.”

“We were, but feelings change and people change. Would you rather that I lie to you?” He asked harshly. He hated to see the pain in her face, but it was the only way to get her to shut up about it. Damn, why was she pushing so hard? Her biological clock must have been ticking or maybe she was ovulating. Chicks always act crazy when it’s that time of the month. The baby-making fever was hitting her bad. He considered having sex with her to get her to forget about it, but he just wanted to go to bed and prepare for another rough day. Selling drugs sucked major ass and he hated having to look over his shoulder all the time. He had high-end clients, but there was still a huge risk involved. Once he got over this slump, he was never looking back. Until then, he would continue taking on random clients and selling drugs to supplement his income. Reggie looked forward to the day that he no longer had to lie to his wife; it was one of the toughest things that he’d ever had to do.

“Fine,” Tamika said stubbornly, “Case closed.”

“Good.”

#Chapter3

“I would have castrated his ass and set that bitch on fire,”

Crystal

Reggie paced around outside of one of his client’s buildings. He didn’t feel like going inside of a corporate building to distribute. That part of his life was supposed to be over for good, but there he was, standing outside in a three-piece preparing to deal in drugs. His fingers held on to the package for dear life and his pulse quickened. He didn’t feel much fear when he was younger. He didn’t feel like his life was flashing before his eyes and he realized that the lack of fear that he had back then was pure stupidity.

One wrong deal could end his life as he knew it. He would never be able to make things right with his wife. He could still see the disappointment on her face when he shot down the conversation about having a child. Constantly letting her down was getting old, he was unsure of how much longer she would tolerate his moods. The desire to be a better man was strong but being so unhappy and unsure of the future made that impossible for him. 

He walked inside of the building and went along with the routine. He just had to walk in and sign in with the receptionist and she would send him to the back to see Mark. Mark was his client and had been for a couple of weeks. He wasn’t too sure about him and the vibes that he got off him were all wrong, but he’d been referred to him through someone else.

 It seemed as if two men in the lobby were watching him. He kept walking to the reception desk and the two men shifted their positions and slowly began to close in on him. Reggie was freaking out on the inside. Were they there for him? Had someone ratted him out? 

He looked around again and they seemed closer to him. He locked eyes with one of the men and the guy quickly turned around and looked out the window. His instinct told him to get the hell out of there. He quickly turned around, headed out of the door and ran before discarding the package into a garbage can near the alley. It was better to be safe than sorry. No one was going to have to do the time for getting caught but him.

He got on the train and went to a coffee shop. His stomach felt like it was tied in a knot and there was no way that he could eat. How in the hell was he going to explain what happened to Mimi? She wasn’t going to be interested in hearing his sob story, she only cared about money, and nothing else mattered to her. He hoped that she would be able to see reason and that he could work off the loss somehow without a huge repercussion, but everything was so uncertain when it came to her.

He really just wanted to go home and lie down, but men didn’t do punk shit like that. They handled their responsibilities by any means necessary. He wasn’t going to depend on his wife to take care of him and he shouldn’t. Real men took care of their family, not the other way around. After spending a couple of hours at the coffee shop he finally got enough nerve to head over to Mimi’s place.

He climbed the stone stairs and knocked on the door. Her boy toy answered and looked him up and down, Reggie ignored him because he was not in the mood for a pissing contest.

“Who is it?” Mimi said from the back.

 “It’s your boy Reggie.”

“Send him back here,” she requested.

The boy pointed him to the back of the house but didn’t give him room to get into the doorway. The only way that he could get in was by brushing shoulders with him. It was a display of dominance and Reggie wasn’t weak. He forced the boy out of the way with his shoulder and kept walking towards the back.

Mimi was sitting on her California king bed as if she didn’t have a care in the world.

“Well hello, you’re here earlier than expected,” she said.

“I need to talk to you about something.”

“Uh oh, should I be worried? Did your wife finally leave you? You want to come back? Your position is taken, Sweetie.”

He almost scoffed loudly, but remembered his predicament, now wasn’t the time to get Mimi upset.

“I’m not here to talk about that.”

“Then what? Time is money, spit that shit out.”

“I’m pretty sure that I was being spotted by some cops at my last run so I had to ditch the package. It must have been a fucking set-up.”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” she said without humor in her voice, “I give you a job and you lose me money. You’re losing your touch. So are you coming to bring me my money?”

“No, I’m saying that I don’t have it.”

“So did you just drop off what you were supposed to give him or did you drop it all?”

“I got rid of the entire package.”

She shook her head and laughed, “OK Well, I guess you owe me 10,000 dollars.”

“I know,” he said.

“So what’s your plan?”

“I plan on getting it back to you.”

“Don't fuck with me Reggie. You better dip into that lovely savings account and bring me my shit now.”

“There’s no way that I can pull out that kind of money without Tamika noticing.”

“That’s not my problem.”

“I know that it’s not your problem, but I’m asking for some time. Maybe I can work something out with you.”

“Nigga, you have two weeks to bring me my shit or those legs that you love so much will be broken. What happened to you in college will feel like child’s play.”

“But Mimi....”

“I don’t want to hear it. I’m tired of people thinking that I’m soft. I laugh and joke, but I don’t play. Bring me my fucking money or you are going to have a serious problem. I think your wife will notice when you’re in the hospital and you’re confined to a wheel chair.”

“Believe me I hear you, I’m going to come up with your money.”

“For your sake, I truly hope so.”

*

The three girls sat at Crystal’s house and laughed and talked. They loved it when their schedules allowed them to hang out together in the evening.

“So I have a date coming up,” Crystal admitted to her friends.

“Oh really? You don’t waste any time!” Tamika laughed.

“I know right, where did you meet him?”

“I met him when I was at lunch with Nina,” Crystal said a little too quickly. She meant to keep that part to herself, but it slipped out.

“When in the hell did you go to lunch with Nina and why?” Kalena asked. She was trying to forgive Nina for what she did, but she wasn’t doing a very good job. Every time she saw her, she wanted to scratch her eyes out. What kind of friend flirts with their friend’s man?

Kalena didn’t care if it was all a misunderstanding, she shouldn’t have put herself in that kind of position with her friend’s man. Some things are unforgivable, even though she said that she was going to try to forgive.

“I’m sorry, but I didn’t know that I had to give a play by play of whom I spend my time with,” Crystal responded, “She and I went out to lunch and had a chat and that is when I met Corey. That’s who we’re talking about right, Corey, not Nina, so lay off.”

“Okay…I’m going to need the two of you to calm down before I take off my belt,” Tamika said jokingly, “Now it’s all awkward in here.” She hated conflict, and she especially hated it when her two best friends were upset with each other. They were going to have to find a way to put the Nina issue to rest so that all of them could move on in peace.

“Stop worrying, me and her are just fine. She’s just getting on my nerves right now,” Crystal said.

“Yeah, well that goes both ways, chump,” Kalena grinned. Just because she didn’t want to be friends with Nina didn’t mean that they couldn’t. Ugh, she hated being reasonable. “Sorry about snapping on you, you’re right.”

“I still love you, boo,” Crystal said with a wink. “So yes, I met Corey while out at lunch and he’s a real cutie. He came right over and spoke to me and you both know how much I like that. I can’t stand scary men and he’s anything but. He came over to our table and ignored the hell out of Nina and spoke to me.”

Kalena stifled a giggle because she knew that had to be a blow to Nina’s fragile ego. All eyes had to be on her or she wouldn’t be happy. She wished that she could have seen the stupid look that was probably on her face. “So when are the two of you going out?” Kalena asked.

“This weekend and God knows I need it.”

“Please don’t tell me that you’re going to sleep with him,” Tamika said.

“Hell yeah, I’m going to sleep with him, have we just met? He’s fine and I can’t wait until he has my legs up in the air. I need some good lovin’! But I’m not going to tell him that at the beginning of the date.”

“He probably already knows, you know how explicit you can be. If you’ve talked to him and you want to sleep with him, then you’ve been dropping hints,” Kalena said.

“You know me so well and I hope that Corey is ready for all of this,” she grinned. She loved being back to her old self. Being tied down to one person had its advantages but nothing could compare to the chase of getting to know someone and sleeping with them for the first time. If it was good, she would keep them around for a few times and then move on to someone else when she got bored. It wasn’t anything personal; it was just that she wasn’t interested anymore. The sex became predictable and boring. Her friends sometimes tried to make her feel bad about it, but they never succeeded. She was a full-grown adult who paid her own bills and no one was going to tell her what she could and couldn’t do.

“Alright just be careful,” Tamika warned. She knew all too well what could happen on random nights of passion, although Crystal didn’t have a husband to worry about. For the first time in a long time she was envious of her friend’s carefree lifestyle. The idea of having a baby with Reggie scared her half to death and she wasn’t sure if it was something that she truly wanted to do. She only had a small time frame to make a major decision. Abortion was an idea that she loathed but now she was considering it. She could have it done and never have to tell Reggie anything. If they stayed together, then that would be great and they could have a child when they were both ready but if he left then she wouldn’t be left alone with a child that he never wanted. 

“No glove, no love, baby. That’s one thing that I don’t play around with. I’m too old to take those kinds of risks with my body,” Crystal exclaimed.

Tamika felt guilty because that was exactly the kind of game that she played with her own body. Kalena looked at her with sympathy and she averted her eyes.

“So ladies, I have to start back hitting the gym. I want to do some weight training, are the two of you in?”

“I’m in,” Kalena said, “I’ve already been doing some weight training and I wouldn’t mind the company.”

“Umm I’m going to have to bow out,” Tamika said.

“Okay, well then me and you are going to need to set up a schedule Kalena, you know that I’ll flake after a couple of weeks and I want to be more consistent.”

“Girl don’t tell me that because I’ll be at your door three times a week early in the morning, you’ll get tired of me.”

“That’s what I need right about now, especially as I get older. I want to start better habits now so that I can keep my body right.”

“Okay let’s do it then, and don’t get mad at me for waking you up at four in the morning. I work out early to get it out of the way so that I can get on with the rest of my day.”

“Four in the morning? Oh hell no, I’m not trying to get up that early.”

“Welcome to my world, sweetheart,” Kalena grinned.

“Okay, I’m going to need a drink to even think about that.” Crystal got up from the table and headed to the kitchen to grab a bottle of wine, a corkscrew, and three glasses.  She returned and poured the three of them a healthy portion of the bottle of Pinot Noir.

Tamika looked at the glass of wine longingly and Kalena stared at her to see what she was going to do. She sighed deeply and began to resent the child that was inside of her. It was already messing up her life. Why in the hell did she want a baby in the first place? She was barely three months pregnant and the lifestyle changes were already happening. This was supposed to be a happy time in her life but she was miserable.

“Okay what the hell is going on?” Crystal asked, “You don’t want to work out with us and now you’re looking at the wine glass as if I put poison in it.” She stared at Tamika so hard that she could have burned a hole in her.

“N-nothing,” Tamika stuttered.

“Bullshit, now tell me before I act like a damned fool,” Crystal warned.

“I’m pregnant,” Tamika admitted.

“Whaaaaaaaaaat!! Congratulations! Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked excitedly.

“Because I’m not happy,” she said as tears began to well up in her eyes.

“Oh no baby, what’s wrong?”

“I slept with my boss Jin, I wasn’t sure if the baby was Reggie’s or not, but I found out that it was. I tried to tell Reggie that we were having a baby but then I chickened out because he kept going on and on about not wanting a baby, he was so upset by the conversation and I couldn’t do it. Now I don’t know what to do.” By the time she was finishing with her rant, huge tears were streaming down her cheeks.

Crystal looked at Kalena, “Did you know about this?”