Indemnity: Book Two: Covenant of Trust Series (41 page)

“
Why not all the time?”

“
I don’t know. God does a lot of things I don’t understand.”

At the next stoplight, Jack saw a tall, brightly lit gray building. “Is that the hospital?”

“
Yes.” His dad turned into the lot and passed a long row of cars. “Thank you, Jesus,” his dad said quietly.

“
What for?”

“
A parking place.” His dad parked the car and unlocked the doors.

Jack took three deep breaths. “Okay, I’m tough. I’m ready to go in.”

“
You’re very tough,” his dad said. “Can you be tough enough to let me go in first by myself?”

“
I think so,” Jack said. His dad squeezed his shoulder, which he still hated, then reached for Jack’s hand. Jack hop-stepped to keep up with his dad’s long strides through the sliding doors. “I don’t see her.” Jack said looking through the waiting area.

“
She’s back in the back,” his dad said. “Kara said she would take us back when we got here.”

“
Uncle Chuck!”

Jack turned around and almost didn’t recognize Kara in her nurse clothes. “She was watching for us,” his dad said.

“
Hey, Jack,” Kara said, putting a hand on his shoulder.

Just don’t squeeze.
“Is my mom going to die?”

“
Your mom is hurt really bad. Most of her insides are damaged one way or another.” Kara looked at his dad and kept talking, but she never said any of the "sick" words Jack knew, like fever or stomachache. Just weird stuff - spleen, pelvis, then she said broken. He understood that.

“
What’s a pel ...pelvis?”

Kara put her hands on Jack’s hips. “This big bone here.”

“
Whoa,” Jack said. “Did she cry?”

“
I haven’t seen her cry.”

“
I haven’t either. She’s really tough.”

“
Come on. I’ll take you to her.” Kara walked faster than his dad did, so Jack had to trot to keep up. “They operated on her, Jack, to take out that busted spleen.”

“
Didn’t that fix everything?”

“
Not everything, but that’s all they can do right now. She’s not bleeding inside anymore, though.”

“
That’s good.”

“
It’s very good,” Kara said.

“
My dad’s going first,” Jack said.

“
That’s probably a good idea. I’ll wait with you.” She led them through two big doors to a room of curtains. “We’re full right now, so they brought her back down here after her surgery. She’s in that second one, Uncle Chuck.” Kara pointed to her right. “Jack, I’ll show you what all these machines do while your dad is with your mom.”

“
I’ll tell her you’re here, and get you in there as soon as I can,” his dad said. Before stepping around the curtain, his dad bowed his head. He should’ve thought of that. Jack bowed his head, too, and whispered, “God, my dad is a good pray-er. I hope You listen to him. And me. ’Cause my mom needs a lot of help getting better right now. Thanks.”

Father God, don’t let her go just yet. She’s not ready. Be merciful. Especially for Jack’s sake.
Chuck let a deep breath go, and stepped around the curtain.

Tracy was propped up in the hospital bed, a sheet and blanket tucked tightly around her. An intravenous line inserted into the back of her left hand ran to a metering pump. More lines from the EKG patches ran from slits in her hospital gown to the monitor by her bedside. Other monitors and readouts flashed her vital signs, updating themselves every few seconds. The rhythmic whoosh of the respirator and the periodic beeps broke the awful stillness.

Chuck approached her bedside, and laid his hand on hers. Her hand was soft, and cool, and yellow antiseptic dotted the scrapes and scratches on her arm. “Tracy?”

“
Nnnnn ... Chuck?” Her eyes opened halfway and her words slurred from a heavy dose of painkillers. “You came.”

“
Of course, I came. I should have never left you alone last night.”

“
It’s ... better this way.” Her eyelids slowly closed.

“
What do you mean better? Did you do this on purpose? Dear God, tell me you didn’t ...”

Her eyes opened again and he felt a weak squeeze on his hand. “Jack? Where’s Jack?”

“
Tracy, answer me,” Chuck said firmly.

“
It’s done. Doesn’t matter how or why.”

“
You wrecked your car on purpose?”

“
I’m not ... I don’t remember.” She took a long, labored breath. “I want Jack.”

Chuck hung his head in resignation. “I’ll get him.” She was the most exasperating woman. Drugged up, and half dead, yet she still wouldn’t give him a straight answer. If that woman wrecked her car with the express intention of taking her own life ... When he yanked the curtain back, he saw Jack flinch. “Your mom is asking for you.”

“
Is she okay?”

Chuck shook his head. “She’s hooked up to a lot of machines, and they gave her medicine so she doesn’t hurt so much. The medicine makes her sound really sleepy.”

“
Will she still know it’s me?”

“
I’m sure she’ll know.”

“
Do I need to be tough again?”

“
It might help.”

He made a fist with his right hand and punched his left palm three times. “I’m ready. Mom needs me.” Chuck guided Jack around the curtain with a hand on the boy’s back. Then he felt Jack’s body tense. “She looks bad,” he whispered.

“
But she really wants to see you,” Chuck said. “Think you can do it?”

“
Yes. I was just a little surprised, that’s all.” He tiptoed to the bedside, leaving his dad by the curtain. “Mom? It’s me, Jack.”

Tracy managed to draw the left side of her face into a smile. “Jack ... I love you.”

“
I love you, too. What happened?”

“
I don’t re ...member.”

“
Can I touch you, or will it hurt?”

“
It won’t hurt.”

Jack reached out and gently touched his mother’s arm. “You feel cold,” he said. “You need another blanket. Want me to get one?”

“
No, Jack. Listen to me very carefully. I’m dying.”

Tears dropped from Jack’s eyes onto the bed sheet.

“
Tracy, no,” Chuck said. “They did surgery. They stopped the internal bleeding.”

She ignored him and reached for Jack’s hand. “I’m ... I thank God I got to talk to you one more time.”

“
Tracy, you’re scaring him,” Chuck said, ready to take the boy back outside the curtain, but neither of them acknowledged his presence. Tracy and Jack were locked in their own world, the way they always had been.

“
I still need a mom,” Jack sniffled.

“
I made it without a mom, and you’re much stronger and braver than I am, Jack.” She lifted a shaky hand to his face, and clumsily swiped at a tear. “You have people that love you very much. Your dad and Bobbi ...” She closed her eyes, and winced.

“
Mom!”

“
Just a second, Jack,” Tracy whispered. She took a breath, and opened her eyes slowly again. “Maybe you should go ahead and go.”

“
But I don’t want to go.” Jack laid his head on the bed.

“
Climb up here, and hug me.”

“
Really? I can get up there?” He wiped his eyes and brightened a little.

“
Just watch the wires and things. Maybe your dad could help you.”

They did remember he was there after all. Chuck lifted the boy up and set him on the bed, making sure all the wires and lines were out of the way. “Be easy, Jack. She’s in a lot of pain.”

Jack leaned down and laid his head on his mother’s shoulder.

Tracy raised the hand with the IV line to smooth Jack’s hair. “I love you so much. Don’t ever, ever forget that.”

“
Can I kiss you?” Jack asked.

“
I wish you would,” Tracy said weakly. Jack kissed her cheek gently, and again she tried to smile. “I love you.”

“
Can I stay a little more? Please?”

“
Jack, it will be harder for me if you’re here. I hope you can understand that someday.”

“
I don’t like that,” Jack muttered.

Chuck lifted Jack down from the bed. “I’ll be right back, Tracy.” Chuck took Jack’s hand and walked around the curtain with him. They were both surprised to see Bobbi standing against the wall. She knelt down and Jack ran to her and threw his arms around her. “That was fast,” Chuck said quietly.

“
Rita was home. I talked to Brad and Joel, and I called Glen, too. He should be here soon. How’s Tracy?”

“
Jack got to talk to her.” He glanced back toward the curtain. “If you don’t care, I want to go back in. I don’t want her to be alone ...”

“
I’ll stay with Jack.” She patted the little boy’s back. “Let’s get Kara to find us someplace we can wait. Your dad is going to stay with your mom.”

“
I think she’s scareder than she says,” Jack said, wiping his eyes.

“
I’m sure she is,” Bobbi said, “but your dad knows what to say and what to do. Come on.” She stood and took him by the hand, and led him back through the double doors.

“
I wish I knew,” Chuck said to himself. He stepped back around the curtain, and took Tracy’s hand. “Tracy, it’s Chuck.”

“
If I had met someone like you twenty years ago ...” she said in a dreamy voice. Her eyes were barely open now. “I wish things had been different, Chuck,”

“
That doesn’t matter now.”

“
I’m sorry for what I did to you and to your family ... Make sure you tell your wife ... She’s the most gracious woman ...”

“
Tracy ...” One of the monitors began to beep, and Tracy’s grip grew tighter.

“
I took care of everything ... I have a will at the office, and you’re the executor. I should have asked you ...”

“
Tracy, what about Jesus?”

“
I took care of ... everything ...” She closed her eyes and her hand dropped away from his. Immediately, the monitors began to buzz and alarm.

A team rushed in and began shouting numbers back and forth. “Sir, you’ll have to step outside,” one of the nurses said as she pulled the curtain around. Chuck nodded absently and backed up.

Tracy didn’t answer him. Or did she? Did she mean she took care of dealing with her sins too? Or had she even realized he’d asked her? He felt lightheaded and dizzy. Just that fast and she was gone. She died peacefully. Maybe there was some hope in that.

He walked through a set of double doors, and slumped into the first available chair, burying his face in his hands. It didn’t have to be this way. Why wouldn’t she let him help her? Chuck felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see Glen and Laurie Dillard.

“
How’s Tracy?” Glen asked

Chuck glanced back at the double doors and shook his head. “She just ... uh, I think ... she went into cardiac arrest or something. They were working with her.”

“
Oh no,” Glen said quietly. “Were you and Jack here?”

“
Jack talked to her just before that. I was with her.”

“
I’m glad, Chuck,” Laurie said, wiping away a tear. “She needed someone.”

“
Where’s Jack now?”

“
He’s with Bobbi somewhere.”

“
Mr. Molinsky?” A young man in green scrubs held out his hand to Chuck. “I’m Dr. Dalessio.” He shook Chuck’s hand, and after a deep breath, he said, “I’m very sorry. We did what we could.”

“
I know,” Chuck said quietly. “Thank you. She was comfortable.”

“
Would you like to speak with a chaplain or a counselor?”

“
Thank you.” He waved toward Glen. “This is my pastor.”

“
Ms. Ravenna’s son was here, too, wasn’t he?”

“
He’s with my wife right now.”

“
Do you want me to tell him?”

“
No, I’m his father.”

“
I understand. If you’ll follow me.” He led Chuck to a small conference room. He moved the slider on the room placard until it said ‘in use.’ “You’re welcome to use this room as long as you need to. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

Chuck closed his eyes for a moment as he tried to think. “Toxicology?”

“
Excuse me?” Dr. Dalessio asked.

“
Tracy often drank, sometimes to excess. Did you do any testing to see if that was a factor?”

“
We drew several samples. I’ll make a note, though, and make certain it gets done.”

“
Thank you,” Chuck said. He had to know whether she committed suicide, which he should have prevented, or if it was just a reckless accident. “Is there any way I can talk to the officer who was first on the scene?”

“
I’ll see what I can do.”

“
Thank you. That’s it, I guess.”

“
Again, I’m very sorry, Mr. Molinsky.” He shook hands with Chuck once more before leaving. Chuck slouched against a table, his mind racing, trying to sort through everything that needed to be done.

He reached down to his belt for his cell phone, and dialed his wife’s number. “Bobbi, I’m in a conference room outside the double doors. Tracy’s ... I need to tell Jack.”