Indemnity: Book Two: Covenant of Trust Series (37 page)

“
And my mom would wanna see that?”

“
I’m pretty sure she would. Don’t you think so, Chuck?”

“
I know she would, Jack,” his dad said.

“
Well, dunk me, then,” Jack said.

“
That’s baptize,” the preacher said. “We could do it next Sunday.”

“
Why can’t you do it now?”

“
I usually do it in a church service.” Pastor Glen smiled at him. “We need to give your mom a little notice, too.”

“
Yeah, I guess,” Jack nodded.

“
Hey, Jack, let’s pray for your mom,” the preacher said.

Jack climbed down from his dad’s lap. “Does it work better if you’re on your knees?”

“
It never hurts,” the preacher said, and he knelt down. Then his dad did too.

Jack looked at the grown-ups on their knees beside him, and he knew this had to work. He closed his eyes tightly, just in case God counted off for peeking and prayed the way his dad taught him. “Father God, my mom needs help a lot. Mister Pastor Glen can help her ’cause he can tell her about You. I think that’s why she gets mad, ’cause she just doesn’t know. Help her not be afraid to come and to have a good time. Amen.”

“
Mom! I’m home!” Jack called as he pushed the front door open. Chuck waited with Jack’s suitcase in hand, just inside the doorway, the way he always did.

“
Be right down,” Tracy called from upstairs, and moments later, she met them in the entryway. “I think you grew this weekend,” Tracy said as she hugged Jack. “Your dinner’s waiting for you.” She pointed him toward the kitchen.

Chuck tried to imagine Tracy cooking, but the mental picture wouldn’t form.

“
What’d you make?” Jack asked.

“
Chicken, well, nuggets actually, and I mixed the ketchup and barbecue sauce. Check it and see if I got it right.”

“
Mac and cheese?”

“
Of course.” Tracy watched with a sad, weak smile as Jack scrambled into the kitchen, then she dropped her eyes as she turned toward Chuck. She pushed her hair behind her ears, and shifted her weight, then crossed her arms tightly before she spoke. “I ... don’t quite know what to make of you,” she said, raising her eyes to his for just a moment.

“
What are you talking about?” Chuck asked.

“
I really gave you a lot of ammunition to use against me. You could have shamed and humiliated me ...”

“
Tracy—”

“
Let me finish.” She shook her head with that same weak smile. “Frankly, I don’t know how to respond.”

She could respond when someone betrayed her, but she had no idea what to do with grace or compassion. “Just say thank you.”

She pushed her hair away from her face again, and her eyes darted from Chuck’s to the floor in front of her. “I don’t binge like that. I want you to know that much.”

“
I didn’t think you did.”

“
I’m glad Jack has you for a dad,” Tracy said quietly.

Chuck felt the immediate flush of a dozen conflicting emotions. She cared deeply what he thought ... about her. And he ... God help him ... he cared about her. Not in the selfish, adulterous way he did years ago, but with the empathy and dignity she deserved.

“
Thank you,” Chuck answered. “Tell Jack I’ll see him Wednesday.”

That night, Tracy pulled the blanket up around Jack as she tucked him in bed. “Pastor Glen said he would baptize me next Sunday. Will you come?”

“
Of course, Jack.”

“
You’ll like Pastor Glen. He’s nice.”

“
I’ve talked to him before.”

“
Oh yeah, he came Friday with my dad to check on you.”

“
He did. Listen, Jack, did you tell your dad I was sick?”

“
I told Mrs. Dad, and she told my dad. Am I in trouble?”

“
No. You didn’t know what else to do.”

“
Are you okay now?”

“
Okay how?” Tracy sat down on the side of his bed.

“
You’re not gonna be like you were, are you?”

“
Like what, Jack? I don’t understand.”

“
Thursday night. You were really mad, and you yelled, and you threw your glass, and it broke right by me.”

“
I did what?”

“
You threw your glass like a baseball, and it went pkkk-ewww.” He waved his hands in a wide arc. “And pieces went everywhere. I can show you where it broke.”

Icy, frantic shame gripped her. She didn’t remember any of it. Nothing. What if she had done something worse than just break a glass? What if she’d hit him? What if she’d hurt him?

“
Jack,” Tracy whispered, and pulled him up into a hug. “I am so sorry.” Tears ran down her cheeks.

“
Mom ... you can let go now,” Jack said.

Tracy dragged the back of her hand across her eyes and cheeks before letting go of him. “Jack, I promise you, it will never happen again. Can you forgive me?”

“
Yes, but you gotta keep that promise.”

“
I love you, Jack. More than you will ever understand.” She kissed him on the top of his head, and tucked him once again. She crossed the room and switched off his light. “Goodnight.”

“
Night, Mom.” He rolled over and scooted down in the bed.

As his door clicked closed, in the secrecy of the hallway, her knees gave way, and her hands shook uncontrollably. Whatever was in her father, the demon, the mental illness, whatever it was, was also in her. Just like her father, she exploded in a drunken rage, with no warning ... Just like her father.

Tracy crawled to the stairs and gripped the railing, hoping it was anchor enough as the house rolled and surged away from her. She made it to the kitchen, and without turning on the light, she pulled a half-empty bottle of bourbon from the cabinet and a glass. She steadied the bottle against her hip, then rested it on the rim of the glass and poured.

You just promised him you wouldn’t do this again.
She took a quick drink.
No, I promised I wouldn’t overdo it, again.
She shook her head trying to get rid of the internal dialogue.

She set the glass down and leaned against the counter as a heavy sense of failure smothered her, pressing the breath from her lungs. She tried so hard to distance herself from him, from everything about him, but she couldn’t escape blood. Now Jack ... Jack knew. He saw who she really was at the core of her being. She had tainted him.

She gulped the bourbon, and poured another half glass. She lived for these few hours each day, free of the guilt, and the shame and the fear.

Jack came home from his first time at church quoting ‘You will know the truth and the truth will make you free.’ Free. Not with the truth, that much was certain.

Monday, October 8

Glen Dillard had resigned himself to talking to Tracy’s answering machine when she surprised him and picked up. “Ms. Ravenna, I’m sorry to bother you at home. This is Glen Dillard.”

“
Mr. Dillard, I no longer have a job, so home is your only option.”

She sounded annoyed already. “The reason I called, Jack came to my office yesterday and asked to be baptized. Now, what that means—”

“
He told me. This Sunday, right?”

“
If that will work for you.”

“
What time?”

“
Eleven. He just needs a change of clothes. We’ll do the baptism at the beginning of the service.”

No quick, sharp answer this time.

“
Ms. Ravenna, I sense some hesitation. Is there something else?”

Silence.

Glen, disappointed, was ready to say goodbye when Tracy spoke.

“
Mr. Dillard, your church is fully aware of Jack’s ... circumstances.”

God, help her spit it out. She’s getting there!

“
I guess, my concern is, your church knows exactly who I am, and what I’ve done.”

“
Ms. Ravenna,” Glen said gently, “I promise you, on my honor as a Southern gentleman and a Texan, that if anybody even looks cross-eyed at you, I’ll take care of it. I’m thrilled and honored that you would come, and I know Jack will be too. He loves you very much, ma’am.”

“
Jack is all I have, Mr. Dillard.”

Chuck crossed another phone number off his list. He never expected a retired prosecutor would be so difficult to track down. He adjusted his glasses and dialed the last number. John Jackson Dailey. The area code was different for this one, so he didn’t hold out much hope, and when an older lady answered, he was ready to hang up.

“
Ma’am, my name is Chuck Molinsky. I’m trying to get in touch with John Dailey, the prosecutor—”

“
One moment.”

Please ... let this be the right guy.
There was a click, followed by a second click a moment later. “Mr. Molinsky, this is John Dailey. How can I help you?”

“
Mr. Dailey, I wanted to talk to you about Edward Henry Reynolds.”

“
Mr. Molinsky, those records can be accessed. I don’t know what else I can add to it.”

“
I have the records, sir. I realize you are no longer a prosecutor and this is likely out of your hands now, but I understand he may be paroled soon. I’m afraid my son may be in danger.”

“
Your son?” The old man took a long, deep breath, and then he said, “You’re Jack’s father?”

“
Yes, sir. Is there anything we can do to keep Reynolds in prison?”

“
I wish there was, Mr. Molinsky. He has two doctors and a social worker that attest he’s completely rehabilitated. He says he has no recollection of ever threatening Teresa. He’s served about five years longer than the average sentence for second-degree murder, and he’s been a model prisoner. His hearing is the nineteenth, and I can’t imagine that it wouldn’t be granted this time.”

“
And we can’t do anything?”

“
Well, I’ll be going to argue on Teresa and Jack’s behalf of course, along with the current prosecutor, but again, they stopped just short of promising him parole at his last hearing.”

“
Do you believe he’s a threat?”

“
I think he’s dangerous. I never believed that kind of rage came from his drunkenness as his defense claimed.”

“
Teresa is quite afraid for her own safety,” Chuck said, being careful to call Tracy by her given name.

“
You’re in contact with her, then?”

“
Yes. Aren’t you?”

“
As much as she’ll allow. I send her correspondence to her post office box there in Springfield.”

“
Missouri?”

“
No, there in Massachusetts. That’s where you’re calling from, right?”

“
Sir ... I ... we’re in St. Louis. She brought Jack here sometime in late summer.”

“
Hmmm. She’s moved again without telling me. You see, I grew up in Springfield, and years ago, we got her into UMass. Then she stayed with my wife and me for a bit before she went over to Charlottesville for law school. After that, I never knew exactly where she was.”

“
But you knew about Jack.”

“
My wife and I flew to Cincinnati to be there when Jack was born, Mr. Molinsky. She ... she needed someone, a woman, there with her, you know.”

“
She asked you to come?”

“
Oh no. I knew better than to ask her, you understand.”

“
Of course.”

“
She was very happy in Cincinnati. She wasn’t practicing law then, devoting all her energy to that little boy.”

“
Why’d she move then?”

“
The last parole hearing, I expect. Springfield is a little farther away.”

“
So if you weren’t aware she moved to St. Louis, you wouldn’t know what prompted it.”

“
I don’t know of anything specific. There wasn’t any change in her father’s case.”

“
Mr. Dailey, you’ve been a great help. I really appreciate you talking to me.”

“
I wish I could do more. Teresa has done as much as a person could do to protect herself. Now we just have to trust God to handle the rest.”

Chuck felt some measure of relief to hear Dailey mention God, and then it clicked. He was the mentor, the one who tried to help Tracy make sense of her mother’s death. “I have great faith, Mr. Dailey. Thank you again.”

“
You’re quite welcome. If you’re ever in the Baltimore area, stop in.”

“
Thank you, sir.” Chuck set the phone back in its cradle. The parole hearing was a week from Friday, the day after the final custody hearing. He’d only had Jack for two months, but if she disappeared with him, Chuck wasn’t sure he could bear that.

Saturday, October 13