Inconsolable (4 page)

“Anna, get up.” I sit up with a jerk after feeling someone pushing my shoulder. I look around trying to figure out where I am and last night jolts through my brain. “Ms. Jennifer just called.
She said she needed me to help with something.  I told her we’d be right over.”  Mary-Beth grabs a shirt for me and I throw off my tank top to
slide on the t-shirt.  I slide on the pair of yoga pants Mary-Beth throws at me then my flip flops. I throw my hair into a ponytail,
grab my toothbrush and run it through my mouth.

“Okay. I’m ready,” I huff as I walk back into Mary-Beth’s bedroom and grab my car keys. “Come on, I’ll drive.  She probably just wants to talk about the wedding or something.” 

“Yeah, maybe.  I just keep getting this feeling that something isn’t right.”  She sighs and I just shrug my shoulders.  I can tell her nothing is wrong until I am blue in the face but she is the one that has to think there is nothing wrong.   

~~~~~~~~~~

Pulling up to
Ms. Carter’s house proved that Mary-Beth’s theory was indeed correct. Something had happened. I have never seen her run so fast in my life. I saw the man in his dress blues before my car was even at a complete stop. Ms. Jennifer was sitting there with rollers still in her hair and her robe on,
looking paler than I had ever seen her. 

“What happened?” I hear Mary-Beth screeching as she runs to the door. I get out of my car and run after her trying to calm her down.

“Mary-Beth, there was an explosion last night.  They have Jameson, but they aren’t sure of the severity of damage.  Four others were killed and Jameson saved one.”  I hear Ms. Jennifer telling her and I watch as she tumbles to the ground. 

“NO!!! NO!!!” I walk over and try to pick her up but she just slaps at me. “DON’T! Don’t touch me!” I keep grabbing at her but she keeps yelling.

“Mary-Beth, he’s going to be okay, at least he’s alive.” I try to soothe her but she just looks at me like I have lost my mind. I put my hands in the air and just slowly back away.  I won’t be trying to soothe the beast anytime soon.   It’s obvious there is shit in that head of hers I didn’t ever know about and it’s rearing its ugly head today.

I stand upright,
walk over to Ms. Jennifer and give her a sad smile. “I’m so sorry Ms. Jennifer. Is there anything I can do to help you?” I sit beside her and she grabs ahold of my hand then smiles.

“You’re doing it, baby girl.  If you wouldn’t mind, would you text Luke and Sam?  They will want to know.  Well, just text Luke.  Sam just got back from college in Alabama.” 

“Yes ma’am. Is he going to be okay?” I ask quietly so Mary-Beth can’t hear me.

“Baby, I wish I knew.  I waited on this to happen for years when Jameson’s daddy was in the Marines but it never came.  I knew my time would happen.  I just wish my baby wasn’t the one that I waited on it for.” 

I hold her hand a minute longer then grab my phone. 
Jameson’s been involved in a bombing.  MB is going crazy and Ms. Jennifer is in shock.  Get your mom and Mase then come over here.
I smile at Ms. Jennifer.  “How about I make some breakfast? You’re both gonna need to eat in order to do anything.” 

“Thank you Anna, that would be amazing.”  She gives me a sad smile and I walk into the kitchen when I feel the buzz of my phone in my pocket.
Be there in five.  Mase is on the way.
That’s one thing I love about the small town of Hickory.  It’s not just a town, it’s a family.  Everyone is constantly trying to help the next person.  I just pray that Mary-Beth can make it through this.  Like Ms. Jennifer said, he’s alive and we don’t know the extent of his injuries.  He could be fine, just a broken bone or two. 

I walk into the kitchen and start to dig around in Ms. Jennifer’s kitchen looking for the skillet and the pancake pan.  I grab some flour, milk, sugar and eggs from the pantry and fridge, then grab a mixing bowl from the cabinet.  I grew up here just as much as Mary-Beth even if I wasn’t that close to Jameson.  I set to work mixing the ingredients and wonder why we never just buy the damn Bisquick mix from the store for moments like this.  I hear a truck come roaring into the driveway and know that it’s Mase. 

“Mom?” I hear him call out and a smile splays over my face. Mason was a foster kid, going from house to house, passed around. He finally found Mr. Patin after his wife died and needed someone around. Mr. Patin took him in when Mase was fourteen and started teaching him to work on cars. He would have him help around his shop and the ranch. When we first met Mase, he was this scrawny little scared kid who was the really quiet one of the group. If you messed with him though, he was belligerent. I always expected to see him in jail. After Mr. Patin got him, he settled into a routine, started to work out and fill out.

“Hey baby boy.” I hear come from Ms. Jennifer. She took him in like another one of her kids. She and Mr. Carter only had Jameson, so she loved each of Jameson’s friends, equally.

“JENNIFER!” I hear Mrs. Kathy yell as Mason comes in the kitchen. I hear mumbling in the living room. Mase just comes over, grabs me and wraps me into a hug.

“You okay, Pip?” He looks down and gives me a sad smile.

“Anna, not Pippy. I hate when you guys call me that,” I pat him on the shoulder and smile as he chuckles softly. “He’s gonna be okay. Right Mase?” I look down at the floor and he hugs me tighter.

“He has to be.  He’s superman.” 

“Where’s Mary-Beth?” 

“Luke’s got her. He’s gonna go to Sam’s after he leaves here. She just moved back about two weeks ago. She just started a job at the Bone and Joint Clinic in Baton Rouge. She’s doing a physical therapy shadowing of some guy, but they already expect her to be one of the best. Maybe she can help Jameson when he gets back, if he needs it.” He replies as he places his chin on top of my head.

“Maybe.  I hope he’s okay though.” 

“He’s tough and he has Mary-Beth to make him fight to get back to her.” He sighs, then grabs the bowl and starts to pour the batter on the sizzling hot skillet. “Now, come on let’s cook some food for everyone.”

“You betcha.” I smile and start whisking eggs to scramble.

~~~~~~~~~~

Two weeks was a long time to wait to be able to Skype with Jameson. He looked great form the waist up, but I heard that from
the waist down it wasn’t a pretty sight. Not that I would know what Jameson looked like from the waist down. He will have to undergo several surgeries before they will even let him come home Mary-Beth says. So we are looking at another two or three months before he can come home then once he gets home another one or two in the hospital here. They told him he may not get his legs back. I hear there is a very high chance that he will lose them both.

Mary-Beth closes the laptop and starts to cry. “This can’t be happening.  We were supposed to grow old together and have little boys with their daddy’s brown eyes running around the yard. Not living in a wheelchair and pushing one around!”

“Now Mary-Beth, that isn’t going to be how it happens and you know it.  Even if Jameson loses his legs he will be okay.  He can learn to walk again with prosthetics and he will be fine.  You can’t give up on him.”

“You’re right.  I need to be his shoulder to lean on, Lord knows he has been mine.” 

“Exactly. Now dry your tears. We have a date with the shopping mall.” I smile then look down when I hear barking. “Wait, what are you going to do with Maggie? She’s so cute! I can’t believe Jameson got her for you before he left.”

“He didn’t get her for me.  I don’t like dogs.  I just manage for Jameson.”  She scrunches her nose up at Maggie and then puts her in her kennel for us to go to the mall.  You’d think after a year of being with the dog living in Jameson’s townhome she would be closer to Maggie. 

“Come on lets go do some retail therapy.  You definitely need it.”  I pull her up and start to pull her towards the door.  She grabs a baggy sweater and pulls it over her head as we go.  I’m pretty sure that is one of Jameson’s hoodies actually.

We get into Mary-Beth’s Accord
and drive down to the Mall of Louisiana.  It’s about a thirty minute drive so we blare some Brant Marks.  He’s a guy from Alabama and has the sexiest voice.  He just put out his first record about six months ago.  I love country music because let’s face it, it’s all about getting drunk and falling in love.  Guys in wranglers, cowboy boots and backward baseball caps are sexy. 

We get to the Mall and climb out of the car. I see Sam walking out of the Sephora shop or at least I think that’s Sam. I nudge Mary-Beth.

“What Anna?” She looks at me pointedly like I just interrupted her or something.

“Is that Sam?” I point to the blonde girl wearing all black with a
sleeve of tattoos down her right arm and purple streaks peeking out through her curls.

“Oh my god… I think it is.” Mary-Beth grabs my hand and starts walking towards her.

“What are you doing?” I hiss out in a whisper as she pulls me closer.

“Sam?”  Mary-Beth yells out.  I try to dig my feet into the ground to keep from having to go over there and listen to the bullshit Mary-Beth is about to spew. 

The blonde turns around and I meet the same eyes I see on
Luke every day. “Oh, hey Mary-Beth, Anna.” She smiles but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. I wonder what happened to Sam. Alabama must have changed her for sure.

“You look different.  What the hell happened to you?”  Mary-Beth looks her over
and
then I try to stifle a laugh as Sam finally stands up for herself. 

“Why are you such a bitch, Mary-Beth? I don’t know why the hell you think you can belittle everyone else. You need to really stop that shit before you have no one. I still don’t see what Jameson ever saw in you. As
for what happened to me, I just wanted purple hair and tattoos.”  I give her an apologetic smile. She just nods then turns and leaves.

“Can you believe that bitch? I should go pull her purple streaks out of her head!”

“You did deserve that, Mary-Beth. You got Jameson. Can’t you just let it go?” I ask.

She growls out,
“You know what Anna, I don’t want to go shopping anymore. Actually I don’t want to talk to you anymore. I’m going home.” I just shrug. This is typical Mary-Beth. When she doesn’t get her way, she pushes us all away. I just turn and start to walk into the mall. I look over my shoulder.

“I’ll get Mason or Luke to come pick me up. Have fun eating your Ben & Jerry’s.” I walk into the mall, stop by the local Starbucks and grab a passion tea lemonade, sweetened, then make my way to the MAC store. If it’s one thing I learned in my five year friendship with Mary-Beth, it is to let her cool off. She will come to you when she’s ready. Until then she’s just going to hold a grudge and resent you for not agreeing with her. 

Waking up the next morning to the smell of burning bacon is not how I expected to start my Monday morning. I let out a scream and curl into a ball rocking myself on the bed. It isn’t the smell of burning bacon anymore. It’s the smell of burning skin and smoke. I am back on the ground with the wind knocked out of me and I am screaming the names of all the men that I lost that day. I then look into my father’s frantic eyes. He’s shaking me, trying to bring me back.

“Shit, Blake!!!” He wraps me up in his arms and rocks with me. I break down and start to cry. This is not what I wanted, especially not in front of my father. “Son, you’re okay. You aren’t there anymore. I’m sorry I didn’t mean to remind you of that. I was just trying to cook some breakfast.”

I look into his eyes and try to muster up a smile but I can’t bring myself to do it.  “Thanks Dad.  It’s not your fault.  Even the slightest thing brings me back.  That plane ride was hell.”  He just nods his head,
and
then starts to stand.

“Call your Uncle Trey, he went through the same thing. That’s why we fought so hard to keep you out of it.  I didn’t want to watch my own son go through what my brother did,” he rubs his hand over the back of his hair and gives me a sad smile.  “You really are my son.  You’re just as stubborn as your old man.” 

“Yeah, I did get that from you. I just wanted to do something that defined me, Dad. I didn’t want to work under you and become partner. I wanted to make something of myself not have it handed to me.” I stand up, grab my running pants and wish I wouldn’t have opened my mouth.

“Son, I am proud of you.  I always have been,” he turns as if he is about to leave the room, then turns back to me.  “I’m sorry if I ever made you feel any differently.”

I watch as my father walks out of the room. I grab my Nike’s, slip them on, and then grab my IPod. I walk out the door to take out my problems on the pavement. I put on the song ‘
Radioactive’
by Imagine Dragons and let the music soothe me as I run.  I try to outrun my past.  Maybe I can run so far it won’t be able to reach me.  I wish that was a possibility because if it was I would never stop running.  

I think about everything I have been dealing with.  I decide I am going to get an apartment and move away from Mom and Dad.  I start checking off a mental list of things I am going to do as I run. 

1. Get an Apartment.
   
2. Buy Beer or Whiskey.
   
3. Get laid.
   
4. Call Uncle Trey.