In My Wildest Fantasies (29 page)

"You should have sent a groom out with a message to me the minute you returned from the village! I would have gone immediately after the man. I would have caught up with him and instructed him never to come within a ten-mile radius of you again. I would have educated him as to how my wife--the future Duchess of Pembroke--is to be treated and esteemed."

She stood silent, staring uncertainly at him, her face as pale as candle wax. "I wasn't sure how you would react."

"That is how I would have reacted, had I known. But now there is nothing I can do but stand here and interrogate my wife."

Suddenly he wondered what would be happening presently if her father had not come to the palace on their wedding day and revealed the truth to him about her previous engagement. Would Devon even know about it? Would Rebecca ever have confessed, and if she had not, would she be telling him that she had met her former fiance in the village today? Or would he never know?

He remembered how she had answered his earlier question, and something inside him wrenched with dread. "What is this bind you are in?"

Was she confused about her feelings? Was she torn?

God help him, he had thought this marriage was a straightforward affair. Rebecca had seemed enamored with him and eager to be his wife. From what he understood, she had lived her whole life sheltered in her father's home. He had assumed there would be no complications, that he was marrying an innocent without a history. He had even allowed himself to become enamored with her in return, despite the fact that he knew how painful and disappointing love could be, and had never intended to venture near such perilous affections again.

He thought of his mother suddenly, how she had suffered through her marriage because she had been forced to marry a duke, when the one she truly loved was lost to her. Was that how Rebecca was feeling, or was he being completely obsessed and unreasonable?

Rebecca touched a trembling finger to her mouth. "He accused my father of something terrible, and he told me that if I do not leave you, he will reveal my father's crime to the world."

Devon closed a hand into a fist, while he carefully directed his thoughts and emotions to the practicalities of what she had just told him. "What is the accusation?"

She hesitated, then spoke in a near whisper. "Murder."

He stared at her in disbelief.

"It cannot be true," she insisted. "My father may be many things, but he is not a killer."

"So you believe Rushton is lying."

There was a slight faltering in her tone. "He must be. At least, that is what I am telling myself."

"But you are not sure."

She bit her lip and looked away. "To be honest, I do not know. I thought I knew my father. He was everything to me when I was a child, but over the years he has changed, and when he promised me to Mr. Rushton, I realized I did not know him at all." She met his gaze again. "What kind of father forces a daughter to marry a man she despises, when that man is not only a bully, but beneath her in rank?"

Devon spoke in a matter-of-fact voice. "A father who is being blackmailed for murder."

She shot him a look. "So you think he is guilty."

He strode across the room to stand before her, and spent a long moment studying her glistening green eyes, her moist, cherry lips, and her creamy white complexion. He found himself aware of her anguish and vulnerability, but in light of what was happening, in light of his own anguish and dismay, he strove to ignore that awareness, to crush it and cling to the particulars of the situation.

"What I really want to know," he said, "is why Rushton is so fixated on you. Why he cannot let go of his desire to have you as his wife, and would blackmail an earl for that purpose, despite the fact that you have already married another man and have shared your bed with him. Tell me, Rebecca, are you sure you never once encouraged his affections?"

He thought of the diary. He remembered how she had surprised him that night in the gallery with her knowledge of all things sexual. How she had known so much and been so naive of the sexual power she wielded.

He found himself wondering where she had really gotten the diary.

She glared at him. "Are you suggesting there was something between us, and that I have been lying to you? Why can't you believe that I have only ever been devoted to you? If I were not, I would be taking the easy way out. I would be doing what he asked me to do--which, for your information, was to flee the palace tonight. If I did not want to be with you, you would be reading a letter of farewell from me at this very moment. But no, instead, I am taking a deadly risk. I have just done exactly what he warned me not to do. I have told you everything, Devon--everything--and now I must face the possibility that he will expose my father for something, which I am not entirely sure he did not do."

Her emotional outburst should have broken through the hard wall of Devon's resolve, but instead, he found himself fortifying that defense. "What exactly does he expect from you, and when?"

"He wants me to leave you tonight and arrive at his door by tomorrow, midnight."

Devon imagined such a thing. "You are not to leave your room tonight," he said curtly, "nor will you set foot outside the palace tomorrow. Do you understand?"

She turned her face to the side, almost as if he had slapped her, and responded with ice-cold derision. "Yes."

"I will put a footman outside your door," he said, "in case your former betrothed grows impatient and decides to come and fetch you directly."

She glared at him. "You're sure it's for my protection? Perhaps imprisonment is a better word."

He stood motionless, staring at her. Was it a better word? Was it rage, jealousy, and obsession that had inspired his unfeeling instructions? Had he wanted to punish her for making him fear the loss of her? Or did he simply want to protect her?

"Get some rest, Rebecca. We will discuss how to deal with this in the morning." He moved to leave.

"I never wanted to be a burden to you," she said.

He felt a stab of regret, but he already had one hand on the door. "I know," he said, without turning around, because he did not want to surrender to his emotions. "You thought I would enjoy being your knight in shining armor. But you did not know me very well, did you? Nor I you."

With that, he walked out and did not stop until he reached the end of the corridor, then he came to an abrupt halt, squeezed his eyes shut and tapped his forehead against the wall.

God help him. He had just done it again. He had dealt with her in a cold and unfeeling manner--just as he had on their wedding day--when he should have shown her some compassion and eased her fears.

Her father had just been accused of murder, and she had trusted him with that secret. She had trusted him! Even when she knew he could turn her out, or turn her father over to the authorities.

He had responded callously. He'd even suggested she had given Rushton false hopes. He had smothered his tender feelings for her and had not permitted the fear of losing her to take hold--because that's what he was afraid of, wasn't it? He knew it. He understood it. Just the thought of Rebecca leaving him for another man made him want to put his fist through the wall.

Touching the heel of his hand to his forehead, he managed to recover himself and started off down the corridor. He reached his own bedchamber and only then did he realize it would be the first night of their marriage they would not make love.

Chapter 22

Dear Diary,

It is true, as I have always known it would be one day. I am doomed. Perhaps this is the punishment I feared would eventually descend upon me for my wicked thoughts and desires, for the sinful pleasures I have sought, and because I gave my body freely to a man who was not my husband.

Was it of no consequence that I loved him with all my heart and soul--that I would have died for him and would die for him still?

But what does love matter now, I suppose, when I am to be dragged to the altar to marry another? In one hour, my father will come for me, and I will leave this dirty London inn for the church.

And what of Jess? Is he even alive? Two days ago, my brothers beat him before my eyes and took him away. Where, oh where, did they take him?

Please, dear God, I will do anything if you can spare his life. I will marry this man and repent my wicked desires, if only you will let my darling Jess go on living.

Rebecca slammed the diary shut and wondered if she should deliver the book to Devon and mark the next page, for there were so many similarities to her own situation. If only her husband could believe that love like that truly existed. If only....

But she was not going to take the book to him, because, for one thing, she was not supposed to leave her room. More importantly, she did not want to see him. She was far too angry. He had treated her like the criminal in all of this, when she was the one being threatened and mistreated.

If anyone deserved her husband's wrath, it was Mr. Rushton, for he was seeking to break up a marriage for his own selfish ambitions, while Rebecca could do nothing but worry about her father and live with the possibility that her entire life had been a lie--that she had sacrificed her happiness all these years for a killer.

But no, that could not be true. She could not believe it. She could not even bear to think of it.

Was her husband incapable of pity? Could he not see past his own skepticism and understand that she was in agony right now?

She supposed he could not, and he had proven tonight that he was not so very different from Mr. Rushton. To him, she was a possession, and he had been overbearing and controlling because his power and authority had been threatened. He had told her she could not leave the palace, so it seemed she was indeed his prisoner.

Devon woke at dawn the next morning, still uncertain about what to do. He lay in bed staring up at the ceiling. He supposed he could simply do nothing and let Rebecca's father be exposed. Rebecca might not agree with that plan, but if her father was guilty of something heinous, it was only fair that he face justice.

On the other hand, if he is innocent, the truth would prevail. There would be a scandal, yes, but at least Rushton would no longer hold any power over them, and Rebecca would be able to distance herself from it, here at Pembroke Palace.

Devon looked toward the window. The sky was growing brighter. There were raindrops on the panes, more evidence of the wretched family curse, which his father would no doubt take to heart.

At least Dr. Thomas had been helpful the day before. He had spent an hour with the duke and had spoken to Mother about it afterward, shedding new light on the duke's fears and agitations.

The doctor noted an intense fixation with the past, his own childhood, and a delusional view of history, going as far back as the Dissolution of the Monasteries. As far as Dr. Thomas could ascertain, the duke believed the curse originated with one of the monks of Pembroke Abbey, and that that monk was still haunting the corridors.

The doctor promised to return again in a few days for further analysis. He told the duchess that if the family desired it, he could recommend that the duke's new will be rendered invalid on the basis of their father's insanity. That would, however, require an official declaration that their father had gone mad.

Devon and the rest of the family would have to take some time to consider the broader ramifications of such a course of action, and they had yet to receive word from Garrett.

But that was not Devon's first concern this morning. His first thought was to speak to Rebecca again and decide what must be done.

He rose from bed and dressed without calling for his valet, then left his bedchamber and walked through the quiet palace. He passed a maid with a feather duster who seemed startled to see him at such an early hour. She quickly backed up against the wall as he passed.

He turned the corner and spotted a footman pacing in front of Rebecca's door. The young man stopped when he spotted Devon.

"Good morning," Devon said.

"Good morning, my lord."

Devon knocked on the door. There was no reply, so he knocked again, louder the second time.

Still no answer came, so he turned to the footman. "No one has come or gone since I left?"

"I was posted here only an hour ago, my lord, but I understand it was a quiet night."

Devon turned the knob, but the door was locked. He knocked louder and more insistently, and his heart began to beat faster as a sense of panic cut through to his bones. She wouldn't have done anything foolish, would she? She wouldn't have used the passageways to leave him...

He turned to the footman. "Go and get a key from Mrs. Callahan."

"Yes, my lord." The young man ran down the corridor toward the stairs, while Devon waited impatiently. A moment later, the housekeeper appeared with the footman.

Mrs. Callahan fumbled with her keys. "Good morning, Lord Hawthorne," she said, as if nothing were amiss, but she was quick to insert the key into the lock and open the door.

Devon entered Rebecca's bedchamber and found it empty, though the covers were in disarray. At least the bed had been slept in. He went to the dressing room and peered inside, but there was no one about. He looked at the portrait on the wall, slightly ajar.