In My Head (3 page)

“These are great seats, Ben. You did good!” I playfully tell him.

“Anything for you, sweetheart. You really needed a day away from all those books. A day to just do whatever and not think about the answer to whatever it is you need to know.” He gives me side eyes, but with a smile.

“
We
needed this day together. I feel like we haven’t had a whole lot of time together lately because of these damn finals. Thankfully we only have a couple more days then we’re done for good! Then we can do whatever the hell we want!” I close my eyes and look up at the sky, soaking up the sun. With all the studying I’ve been having to do, I haven’t been outside to see the sun. Meaning I look like a ghost.

After each team goes through batting practice and warms up their arms, they play the national anthem. We’ve gone through a handful of beers between us since the beginning of the first inning. It’s when I place my current empty bottle down that Ben tells me he needs to run to the bathroom and he’ll be right back. I wave him off and continue to watch the Indians get the final out they needed to end the fifth inning.

While the Yankees are out on the field warming up, I hear the announcer declare that he has a very special surprise. I lean forward in my seat, somewhat interested in trying to figure out what is going on. I hear “awws” coming from around the stadium. Confused on what’s going on, I look around and try to figure out what everyone is looking at.

Everyone is staring at the scoreboard, and when I focus on it, I’m completely shocked stupid. Pictures of Ben and me are playing in a slide show. I raise my right hand and cover my mouth with it and with my other hand I’m holding onto the armrest for dear life. When I think I can’t be surprised any more, Ben walks out of the dugout right in front of me.

Tears fill my eyes. I had no idea he had anything planned. And if I know my man, it will be nothing short of mind-blowing. He raises the microphone that’s in his hands when he turns around, still standing in front of the dugout, and looks at me.

“Lyla, sweetheart, I could tell you everything I love about you, but I tell you every day why I love you. I could tell you I’m going to spend the rest of my life loving you and protecting you, but you know that also. Baby, I want to see you pregnant with our baby, and I want to have our own baseball team.” When he says that people chuckle in the seats around me.

“Lyla, I’m sure you know what I’m getting ready to ask you.” He reaches into his front pocket and pulls out, what I assume is a ring. I have tears streaming down my face but, the biggest smile behind my hand. All the players file out behind him awaiting the big moment. “Lyla, will you make me the happiest man alive and do me the honor of marrying me?”

I suck a deep breath in and drop my hand. Standing up, I lean as far over the top of the dugout as I can and yell, “Ben Morris, yes, I will marry you!” Cheers erupt throughout the seats. And my fiancé climbs the front of the dugout and gathers me in a hug when he comes off the top in front of me.

“God, you surprised the shit out of me.” I laugh through the tears. He pulls back and lifts my left hand to slide the ring on my finger. Before he lets me look, he pulls my hand up to his lips and he kisses the ring and whispers, “Forever fucking amazing, Lyla.”

I raise my hand and place it on his cheek. “Forever amazing.” I get my first glance at my ring when he raises his head. It’s a solitaire, princess cut in white gold. The diamond itself is huge. And sparkly . . . can’t forget sparkly. Laughing, I pull away and sit back down, not even interested in watching the rest of the game. But needing to sit before I pass out!

Exactly one year later

“MICHELLE! WHERE IS MY
veil?” I’m running around the suite. My mom and soon to be mother-in-law took over all things wedding planning. Sometimes they would ask for our opinion other times they made executive decisions. I have to give it to them though, everything has turned out perfect and gone smoothly. We’re at Landoll’s Castle in Mohican. Mohican is basically a giant state park in Ohio. For anyone wanting the image of a fairy tale castle for their wedding, this is the place.

“I don’t know! Where did you put it last night after you dragged everything up here?” Michelle is throwing things over her shoulder as she’s digging through all of our crap.

“Ugh! I knew something would go wrong today!” I yell, frustrated.

“Stop it! Right now! Nothing is going wrong, you’re marrying the man of your fucking dreams there is no time for being dramatic today! Do you fucking hear me?” Always the voice of reason she is. But I immediately stop searching frantically around the room. I turn and stare at her. She has on a pale orange dress and her hair is done in a sleek up-do.

She’s beautiful. She’s going to make some guy extremely happy one day. And apparently by the look on my face, she can tell I’m getting sentimental. Her face softens and she stalks across the room to me, wrapping her arms around me the minute she reaches me. We stand there for a few minutes, but I pull back.

“We can’t stay in here and start getting sappy, I don’t want to cry. I look hot, I can’t ruin my makeup before pictures.” We both start cracking up. I hate getting sappy. But it seems like that’s all that happens to me anymore.

A knock on the door interrupts anything else could we say. She rushes over to the door to keep anyone, mainly my groom, from coming in the room.

“Ben! What are you doing here?” she screeches while trying to hold the door shut. The instant she said his name my heart sped up. I’m standing in the center of the room with my hands together in front of me, jumping with excitement.

“You know you can’t see her a second before she appears before you at the end of the aisle,” she chastises him being super motherly.

“I know, Michelle.” His husky voice comes through the door. His voice alone can turn me on, hearing it at a time that I don’t need to be turned on sucks though. “I just want to tell her something, I’ll stay on this side of the door. I promise.”

“All right, All right. Let me out, so I don’t intrude on your private moment. If I find out you saw her before you needed to I will castrate you, do you understand me, Ben?”

Laughing he replies, “Yes, I understand you completely. And, since I’m positive my future wife wants kids, I will be sure to stay on this side of the door.” She walks out the door and his hand appears in the tiny space between the door and the frame. I rush over and grab onto his with both of mine.

“Ben, you must have a death wish!” I joke. Instantly his laughter is filling my ears. “Babe, what did you need up here to talk to me about?”

He clears his throat before speaking. “I wanted to tell you that all the decorations turned out perfect. It’s beautiful down there. I can’t wait to see your face when you see it all.”

I let out an unladylike snort. “Really? That’s it? That’s all you wanted to come up here and talk to me about?”

“No, that’s not all. I want to tell you that you’re going to be the most beautiful bride. You’re it for me. You always have been. When you finally say ‘I do’ and become my wife, I’m going to try to start trying to get you pregnant. So you better be ready and if you haven’t already, stop taking your birth control. I want to see my wife round with our child, I want to see your face when the doctor tells us what we’re having, I want to see your face after you give birth. Even dead tired and sweaty from labor, you will still be the most beautiful woman to me. Are you ready to become my wife, Lyla?”

I’m furiously blinking my eyes, trying to keep the tears from spilling over. “Ben, you continue to surprise me every single day. Not one day has gone by that I don’t love you more. I will continue to love you with everything I am for the rest of my life. You’re it for me, too. No other man will ever compare to you, baby.” My voice cracks from emotion with that last word.

“Here come your parents and my dad, I better get back down there. I cannot wait to see you walking towards me. Your dad looks like he has your veil, were you looking for it?” he asks me with humor in his voice. Knowing full well that I’m always looking for something.

“Shut up, go back down to your post. I’ll see you down there. I’ll be the one in white,” I joke, pulling my hands away. With my hand still on the door, I whisper, “I love you, Ben. With everything.”

“I love you, too. I’ll see you soon.” I can physically feel him pulling away from the door, like we’re two magnets begging to stay together.

In the next moment, my dad pushes through the door with my mom and his dad coming in quick behind him. My dad hurries to slam the door just in case Ben is still standing out there. He looks up, getting his first look at me.

“Baby girl, you are so beautiful!” He hands me my veil and I can see him fighting tears.

I take the veil and walk over to the full length mirror in the corner of the room. I look at my mom through the mirror. “Mom, can you help me get this on right?”

“Sure, honey.” She walks over and takes the veil out of my hands and I shrink down a little to make it easier for her to place in my hair. She steps back from me once she has it positioned just perfect, and brings her hands to her face. As if she’s trying to hold herself together.

I turn around and immediately reach my arms out for a hug. “You aren’t allowed to cry yet, Mom. After pictures I don’t care what you do, but you need to hold it together until then.”

“All right, back away from the bride,” comes from Ben’s dad, David. I decided to have my dad and his dad walk me down the aisle. David doesn’t have any daughters, so this is his only shot at doing this. I wanted to include him in this. He steps in close and gives me a hug.

He isn’t really one big on letting out his emotions but you can clearly see them on his face.

“All right, baby, are you ready to go? It’s nearly time to start.” My dad steps up next to David.

“Yeah, Daddy. Let’s go get me married.” He reaches his hand out and I link my arm through his and we all leave the room. At the bottom of the stairs, Michelle is waiting with my bouquet. When she hands it to me, she turns and signals to the person in charge that we’re ready.

“Hey! Don’t trip out there, Michelle. Don’t make me wait too long to get to my man.”

Her look of indignation causes a smile to spread across my face. “You would dare to jinx me! You bitch. Sorry Jim and David! See you out there!” She turns away after blowing me a kiss.

I look at my dad, and he’s just shaking his head. “I don’t know how you and that girl are friends. She’s wild!” Although he acts like he doesn’t like her all the time, my dad knows she is my best friend and he treats her like a second daughter.

“Whatever, Daddy. Let’s head out there.” We walk to the side of the castle and wait to listen for the wedding march. I stand between my dad and my almost father-in-law and I link my arms with theirs.

After hearing our cue, and starting around the corner, three things happen at once. I see the beautiful colors of the flowers lining the aisle and the leaves on the trees that compliment my October wedding. I see the faces of all my friends and family, tears shining in just about everyone’s eyes.

And then I see my groom. He looks so handsome in his all black tux, black button down shirt and cream colored tie that matches my dress. Then I lock eyes with him. He has a smile that reaches his eyes stretching across his face.

We start walking down the aisle, taking me closer to my groom. Each step closer makes me anxious to start our life together.

Around two years later

“IS THE DOOR LOCKED?”
I whisper ask Ben as I rush to strip my clothes off. I glance over at him, to see that he is trying to rip himself out of his too.

“Shit!” He hobbles over to the door while his pants and boxers are around his ankles, almost falling in the process. Trying to stifle my laugh, so we don’t attract the attention of the little girl in her room down the hall. “I put the portable DVD player in there with
Frozen
on so, hopefully, that keeps her entertained for a minute.”

His eyes raise to mine when he finally gets himself out of his clothes. “I only need like fifteen minutes, anyways.”