In Blood and Worth Loving 3 Kiss Cover (7 page)

He nodded.
“
I know.
”

They embraced and Adrian left. Conner sighed and
headed for the master bedroom.

When he
e
merged from his shower, he saw a large picture frame leaning against his bedroom wall. He crossed the room and picked it up. A charcoal drawing of Desi and himself, riding their mounts along a moonlit trail stared up at him. He noted Adrian
’
s signature on the lower right hand corner of the drawing.

In the picture, they gazed at each other instead of at the road ahead. On the edge of the frame Adrian had
written
the two word title:
Perfect Together
.

Clearly he
’
d sketched this before Conner had fucked up because nothing between Desi
and he
would be perfect together again. Not unless she forgave him or he managed to allow her the brief but painful freedom to fuck other men
. He shuddered at the thought of allowing another man
a pleasure he
’
d denied himself in a futile effort to protect her from the dangers of loving him
.

Both their lives would be unsettled until he managed to come to terms with his feelings for her.

Later that night Desiree stood in front of her bathroom mirror studying her face. The reluctant look in her eyes annoyed her.
Why the damn long face? For the first time in countless months you can go out without worrying about Conner showing up to ruin your evening. If all goes well, you just might meet someone capable of making you forget him. This is one night you are not going to waste wondering who he
’
s fucking. He can fuck whoever the hell he likes
.

She inhaled slowly.
A
nd finally so can you. So get your big ass in gear and get ready to party like you mean it.

Wrapping a towel around her damp body, she walked into her bedroom to dress for her night out and froze. The bedroom was filled with flowers. Conner, dressed in a dark suit, turned from the window to look at her.

She stared at him as tears welled in her eyes and rolled down her cheeks.

“
No. Don
’
t cry. Please.
”
He quickly crossed the room to embrace her.

She burrowed into his arms, sobbing.

He held
her
until her tears subsided. Then he wiped her cheeks and stepped away from her.
“
Did you think you were finally rid of me?
”

She nodded.

“
And were you pleased?
”

She looked away.

“
No,
”
he said.
”
Look at me.
”

She reluctantly obeyed.

“
Were you pleased, Desiree?
”

“
I kept trying to convince myself I was, but I wasn
’
t,
”
she admitted.

He exhaled.
“
Neither was I. That
’
s why I
’
m here.
”

Their gazes met and locked seconds before they embraced.

She felt his cool lips against her damp cheek as he whispered to her.
“
You have no idea how much
I missed you, my sweet.
”

My sweet. She hugged the endearment to her. He often called her sweet but never
my
sweet. That one extra word made all the difference.
“
Oh Conner.
”

“
Every long miserable second of the six weeks we were part I thought of you and missed you more than you can possibly know or understand. There was not one second of any minute when I didn
’
t ache to be with you.
”

Hearing the words she felt certain were sincerely meant, filled her with hope
e
ven though she felt certain he
’
d spent most if not all his nights with some lucky fem.

She drew far enough away to gaze up at him. And knew nothing had changed. Despite his heartfelt words, she saw the same determined look that had stood him in good stead while he kept her at arm
’
s length for far too long.

But maybe she was being too pessimistic. She touched his hand.
“
Make love to me, Conner?
”

His gaze darkened and he slowly removed the towel.

She stood in front of him unashamed of her nude body. Although other men might find her a little too thick and a shade too plain, they
’
d spend enough time together for her to be confident that his failure to fuck her was not based on a lack of sexual attraction.

He reached out to trail the tips of his fingers down from her neck to her large, natural breasts.
“
Have I ever told you how sexy your body is?
”

She smiled.
“
You might have mentioned it once or twice in passing.
”
While doing damn little about it.

He rolled her nipples between his fingers until they hardened before he abruptly pulled her into his arms.

Feeling the unmistakable bulge of his cock pressing against her body, she closed her eyes and pressed closer to him.
“
Conner…
”

“
I adore you, sweet. You know that. Don
’
t you?
”

Something about his words and the inflection of his deep voice sent a surge of anxiety through her.
“
I know you say you do, Conner.
”

“
I don
’
t just say it. I mean it, sweet.
”

“
If you really do, show me. Please.
”

He sighed and slid his big hands down her back to caress and cup her bare ass. His firm cool lips brushed against her cheek and neck with an almost feverish intensity.

Her heart raced. Tonight. Tonight. It was finally going to happen. Surely he wouldn
’
t arouse her yet again unless he intended to go all the way. Finally. He was going to fuck her.
“
Then take me…fuck me.
”

“
I can
’
t, sweet.
”
he whispered.

She jerked out of his arms.
“
What?
”

“
I know it
’
s difficult for you to hear, but I can
’
t.
”

“
Can
’
t or won
’
t? They
’
re not the same thing! Damn you! How can you claim to care about me and keep doing this to me? You won
’
t touch me or let anyone else touch me. Please tell me why you
’
re doing this.
”

“
I don
’
t have a choice.
”

“
The hell you don
’
t!
”

“
Neither of us has a choice.
”

“
What you mean is I don
’
t have a choice, but you do. Either piss or get off the damned pot, Conner. Give me what I need or let me find it with someone else.
”

His eyes glowed and he curled his lips back, revealing his incisors.
“
No! I can
’
t let you go!
”

She stared at him. He looked and sounded as dangerous as Rayna had warned her he could be.
“
So what are you saying? That because I was foolish enough to fall for you I
’
m supposed to spend the rest of my life without intimacy?
”

He shook his head.
“
No. At some point, I
’
ll be strong enough to let you go.
”

“
At some point? When exactly will
you reach that point
?
”

“
I don
’
t know, but until I reach
it
, I just might kill any man who tries to come between us.
”

“
You cannot be serious!
”

“
Oh but I am.
”
He turned away briefly. When he faced her again, his eyes no longer glowed.
“
I know you don
’
t want to hear this. I don
’
t want to say it, but until I reach the point that I can let you go, I need you to bear with me, Desi. Do it for both our sakes and the sake of any man foolish enough to try to come between us.
”

“
That answer is unacceptable, Conner. Your whole attitude is unacceptable. I am not going to allow you to continue to do this to me and
–
”

He narrowed his gaze and stepped close to her.
“
I thought I
’
d made it clear that you have no choice, Desiree.
”

“
The hell I don
’
t! I
’
ve had it with you and your endless shit, Conner. I am going out to find a man who you can
’
t intimidate.
”
She reached down to pick up the towel and wrapped it around her body before she turned away.

He caught her wrist and spun her around to face him, jerking the towel away as he did.
“
Who the fuck do you think you
’
re playing with?
”

Shocked by both the force he
’
d used to swing her around and his tone, she stared at him.
“
I
’
m going out.
”

He leaned close to glare down into her eyes.
“
What the hell part of your not having a choice in the ma
tt
er don
’
t you understand? If you think I
’
m going to allow you to go slutting around, you
’
d better think again! Now stop behaving like a damned shrew and take your ass to bed before you make me say something I can
’
t take back.
”

As if he hadn
’
t already done that and as if it were her fault he couldn
’
t control his temper or so-called emotions. She moistened her lips and swallowed slowly. She
’
d never seen him so angry. So although her inclination was to tell him he
’
d burned his bridges with her, commonsense dictated she exercise a measure of caution.

When he released her wrist, she turned and walked over to the bed in silence. She got in and pulled the sheet up to cover her breasts.
Go away, Conner. Just go away and leave me alone.

As if he
’
d read her thoughts, he stalked across the room like an angry predator on the prowl to stare down at her.
“
Still want me to fuck you, sweetie?
”

Not with him radiating a level of anger she
’
d never expected to
feel
directed at her.
“
No,
”
she said and turned her back to him.

He jerked the sheet away.
“
What if I
’
ve changed my mind?
”

She inhaled slowly and turned onto her back to stare up into his angry gaze.
“
I
’
m suddenly tired. I think I just want to lie here alone until I fall asleep.
”

“
That
’
s too bad because I
’
ve decided I want to share your bed and I
’
m not interested in sleeping.
”

“
I said no.
”

“
And I said I
’
ve changed my mind. Which of us do you think is going to prevail?
”

“
If you
’
re in the mood to use force there
’
s not much I can do to stop you.
”

“
So you
’
re saying I
’
d have to rape you to fuck you tonight?
”

Suddenly angry that this male who claimed to care about her was going out of his way to frighten her, she bolted into a sitting position and attempted to shove him away.
“
Yes! That
’
s exactly what I
’
m saying so if you
’
re in the mood for rape, have at it, Conner!
”

He leaned down to hiss against her ear.
“
You
’
re a fool if you think I won
’
t.
”

She sucked in a breath while her eyes welled with tears.
“
I
’
m a fool because it breaks my heart
since
I know you will. I can
’
t stop you, but I will never forgive you!
”

He leaned back so he could to meet her gaze.
“
It might interest you to know, you silly bitch, that I don
’
t care about your forgiveness.
”

The tears rolled down her cheeks.
“
Then I have nothing else to say to you.
”

He studied her tears in silence for what felt like an eternity before he suddenly straightened and unbuckled his belt.
“
Then let
’
s fuck!
”

She knew if he touched her then, he would definitely hurt her.
“
No, Conner!
”
She balled her hands into fists and pumme
l
ed his body.

He caught her wrists in his hands.
“
I don
’
t like being hit any more than I like being slapped.
”

“
I don
’
t care what you like!
Don
’
t you dare touch me without my permission
.
And you do not have it
.
You are not raping me! If you do, you
’
re going to have to kill me
.
”

“
I have news for you, I can do that too!
”