In any ordinary life (In any oridnary Book 1) (36 page)

“When John told me there was a possibility you where dead I felt like part of me had died I couldn’t believe it now we are here and things seem so complicated. I really did feel like death followed me everywhere I went and it would be so much easier to be alone. I didn’t realise how important having you and Elizabeth are.”

Moving her close he wiped away her tears

“You’re a part of me Jeanie and the part I never knew and I can’t live without you.” Taking his hand Jeanie stood pulling him towards the parlour door. “I thought you said you where going to get me drunk so we could fool around.” Smiling back he picked her up flinging her over his shoulder. “What about if we miss getting drunk and go straight to fooling around!”

    Grabbing the dress Jeanie slipped it over herself, 2.00am was back and she was awake but this time no one seemed to be about. Feeling the cold Jeanie put on her cardigan and crept into the hallway. The house was quiet and still and standing at the kitchen sink Jeanie started to clear some of the evening’s dishes away. Picking up the tea towel Jeanie heard the creak of the letter box and seeing the figure disappear she picked up the letters off the floor. They where addressed to James except they where all open. Jeanie sat at the kitchen table contemplating what to do next.  

    Feeling no other choice she dropped the letters out of their shells, and as she flicked through the content she started to read out loud.

“Dearest Catherine, I know I never treated our relationship with any reference but I’m hurting more than ever you wouldn’t have done this I know that…Maybe I need to leave!

Dearest James my arms are always open and will be waiting for you with every baited breath. Leave her pass this off as lack of judgment and come home to me yours forever P”

Letter after letter had conversed between them, most of them before Signthorpe and as she scanned through them again, she also realised they had met on several occasions.

   Standing at the bedroom door Jeanie through the letters onto the bed, “What’s wrong..” clasping her hands over her mouth, James sat up suddenly seeing Catherine’s handwriting, he knew she had read them. “Where did you get these Jeanie? This is not what you think please…” “Someone posted them through the door over an hour ago. James you lied to me. You met her and talked about me if I was some slut you met off the street and you lied to me. Why does she sign all her letter’s P just answer me that...” James looked through the pile on the bed.

“Jeanie it’s not what you think.” Still looking for answer’s Jeanie repeated herself.

“Why does she sign her letter’s P James all of them are signed with P…what does it mean…” James threw the covers back pacing the floor he put his hands on the back of his head.

“Fuck. Her name is Catherine Partridge I used to call her P because it’s short for Partridge Jeanie. ” Jeanie staggered at the door.

“Partridge as in Partridge in a pear tree.”

“Jeanie this was before…before everything Jea please I swear to you…I haven’t seen her since since Singthorpe”

“After everything we’ve talked about you don’t know even now the reasons why I need to go.”

  Running out of the kitchen Jeanie grabbed the car keys. “Someone is looking through my window, and someone is trying to play with both of us”. James ran out trying to follow but she was gone.

   Jeanie folded her cardigan around her and as she climbed the dark stairway she reached Flat 615and knocked hard.

“Whoever it is I’m fucking busy…” as the door opened John saw Jeanie shivering in the corridor, “Fuck Jea just hold on a minute,” John closed the door, Jeanie could hear muffled voices from the inside and as the door re-opened a woman exited. “I need to deal with this I’ll call you…”

   Jeanie bowed her head to the floor and listened to her footsteps as she clambered away. “I’m sorry John I had no where else…..” taking her hand he gently coaxed her inside. “What are you doing here...?” Jeanie wrapped her cardigan around her even more.

“It’s not over John someone is trying there best. I don’t know how to explain...” Sitting her down in the chair John poured a large scotch and handed her the glass, “Jea it’s 3.45am….your at my flat and as much as I have dreamt about this happening the state that you’re in doesn’t sit very comfortable start explaining….” Jeanie took a drink and explained how the evening’s events unfolded.

“They just dropped through the letter box and you’ve been being watched for a month. I don’t know what you want me to do.”

“Catherine’s signs her name P everything is P John and I think she’s in either in trouble or we need to speak to Catherine. I just need your help.” Taking his hand Jeanie hugged him tight.

“Thank you I didn’t know who else to turn too and no one else believes me…” John held her tight; feeling her soft skin underneath the sheer satin reminded him of what he lost.

“Jea I can’t you need to go and speak to James.”

“John he won’t….he doesn’t believe me please.”

“Every time you’re here I don’t want you to go and every time I hold you Jeanie.”

   Jeanie looked around the flat, the dreary tired wall paper blackened and stained signified a desperate man, “I understand I do….I’m sorry for asking so much of you all the time I even interrupted your evening.” Jeanie rested her head on the large wooden mantel. “I can’t apologies enough.”

   He wanted to hold her, he wanted to comfort her but he also knew he wouldn’t want to stop. “Before I go please can I use your bathroom?” John showed her the way tidying his dirty clothes as he went. Jeanie ran the tap splashing her face with cold water realising how desperate she had become. John stood outside the door, lighting a cigarette he replaying the scene in his head, as she exited Jeanie couldn’t look at him.

“Thank you again I’m sorry for interrupting...” Jeanie quickened her pace to leave feeling the embarrassment of her intrusion.

“Jea please just hold on” John rested his hand on the door.

“John please I’ve encroached on you enough…”

“I don’t care anymore.” Slipping out the door she ran to the car; the rain pored heavy and as the thunder rolled in Jeanie fumbled for her keys. John picked them up and as he kissed her he pressed her against the car.

“Tell me you don’t love me Jeanie and I’ll leave forever tell me….you don’t need me and I’ll walk away and never come back.” still in his embrace she couldn’t speak, shaking her head she needed help and he needed love. “Please don’t ask me we’ve been over this” John stood in front her,” Tell me you don’t love me the way you love him Jeanie…..” pushing him away Jeanie jumped into the car and as she started the engine John stood in front of the car.

“I love you Jea. I just need to know how you feel,” driving around him Jeanie sped off into the distance. John left standing saw her stop and get out of the car. As he stood at the driver’s door Jeanie looked at his desperation through the glass, getting out he grabbed hold of her tightly. “I won’t ask you again Jea…I won’t ask you again...”

Chapter 35

“John. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t need to be,” John answered the door after James had been stood outside over twenty minutes.

“What do you want?” James took his gloves off and threw them on the coffee table. “I know she came here that night John she told me. She’s took Elizabeth and I haven’t seen either of them for over a week. I’ve been to Irene’s and she’s refusing to talk to me. I’ve even been to the factory. John it pains me to say it but I’m desperate she thinks something’s going on.” John lit a cigarette and laughed at how the tables suddenly had turned.

“James there’s nothing more satisfying to me than to see you squirm but the God’s honest truth is I haven’t seen her since the other night and trust me I would tell you but only cause of Elizabeth. I’m not that much of an arse...”

“Where is she John? I don’t know how she has these letters. They weren’t for her that was my own stupidity...” John stood at the opposite end of the room pouring two drinks.

“She told you where the letter’s came from James you just didn’t believe her….” James didn’t appreciate John’s comments and he hated that he was right but he needed his help.

“Some of the things she said just didn’t make sense. I walked around that house inside and out and I couldn’t see anything.” Sitting down at the coffee table John slid the glass downstream.

“You’re not going to like what I have to say but your going to listen to it. When she talks to you when she looks into your eyes and speaks to you what does she do? Now think about it...”

“Wide eyed, no quiver and stubborn about it” John nodded his head and took a drink. “So when she lies to you or tries to keep something from you what does she do?” James gritted his teeth waiting for another glib comment, “She hides her face and hides her eyes.”

John smirked at the state of James and seeing how uncomfortable he was gave him great pleasure.

“Your loving this isn’t you I know what you’re going to say and yes she looked at me direct and asked me to believe her and I didn’t even though everything about her was telling the truth...” Sitting back in his seat John winked at him.

“So again I believed her straight away I just didn’t want to help because of you.”

“Did she stay with you John?” John picked up the glasses and placed them in the kitchen, unable to leave his question unanswered James followed. “Please did she spend the night with you I just need to know…” throwing the glasses in the sink, John hung his head.

“No she didn’t want to not for my want of asking…I love her as well James she wouldn’t stay cause of you for the simple fact that she loves you more than me.”

“I need her John. I need my wife and my daughter so if you know anything...” starring out of the kitchen window John didn’t want to help but knowing she hadn’t been home for over a week concerned him more.

“She asked me to see if Catherine was ok she felt the last words Kowalski said had a…I don’t know had a connection. The thing is she never told me what Kowalski said” John noticed James’s demeanour he seemed suddenly agitated like he had just hit a nerve.

“I know what he said we spoke about it that night Catherine’s last name is Partridge. I used to call her P. The last thing Kowalski said was remember Partridge. She’s gone looking for Catherine. John she’s out there looking for Catherine.”

“We need to speak to Matt if she is looking for Catherine and if this isn’t finished she’s in a lot of danger James...” John grabbed his coat, still feeling nervous about the conversation he asked James for reassurance.

“James are you positively sure about all of this.”

“Finding out who P is has become her obsession John I’m just hoping she wrong. But I need to know where Elizabeth is she’s got to be with Ivy Jeanie would never have put her in danger.”

   James felt the uncomfortable silence as they drove to the cottage; John was obviously involved deeply but no matter how much he protested Jeanie loved him more he knew she still had feelings for John. Spending time with a man who wanted his wife was never going to be easy, but having no other choice was even more difficult.   

   Banging hard at the door James saw Irene. Looking at his reflection through the door she chose to ignore him and walk away,

“I just need to know if Elizabeth is with you Irene please,” John stood at the door shaking his head. He had been through similar scenarios in the past and he’d always admired the will power of all the Rutherford women. ”She’s not letting you in there’s only one way of doing this stand back,” John kicked at the door until it opened.

“Thanks for the lovely hospitality where the fuck is the kid.”

Pushing him out of the way James ran to Elizabeth, holding her in his arms he kissed her head sweetly.

“Ivy where’s Jeanie.” Ivy ignored him, following in pursuit James anxiously trailed behind knowing that any more time could be putting Jeanie in more danger.

“James you should be ashamed of yourself. She’s told us about the letters she told me everything,” Not able to wait for Ivy to finish he needed her to listen.

“For fuck sake Ivy please just tell me when you saw her last.”

“She’s been here most of last week and this week she said she had a few things to sort out in London but I haven’t heard from her since.

James what’s going on?” kissing Elizabeth’s head he grabbed John.

“She’s gone to find Catherine. My last address was in Brentford….Ivy look after Elizabeth I’m going to find Jeanie  ...”

   Reaching the police station John and James barged through reception, “Matthew Lineage please…” seeing John Matt knew it was trouble.

“I guess you both better come through...” Sitting at his desk Matt started to take notes as James spoke.

“So let me get this straight after the whole Mary Conaghan incident Jeanie went to war, you where shot and he was drugged. Jeanie shot Kowalski dead and now she’s seeing faces pushed up against the windows at your home. Then the other night letter’s came through the door at 2.00 am. Gent’s if I hadn’t have lived through some of this I would say it was a joke,” James sat back on his chair wiping his hands through his hair.

“I know how it sounds. I have even questioned some of this myself. I’m a doctor for Christ sake and at the beginning I couldn’t believe some of it but she believes it and I’ve got the letters to prove that she can’t be making this up. Matt…please we need all the help…” Matt sat back on his chair puzzled as to what happens next.

“I can make an enquiry possible get a house call on Catherine Partridge maybe they can take a look to see if she’s ok but have we ever considered what we need to do if she isn’t?” James looked over to John and vice versa. “James these letters aren’t very flattering towards her and in order for me to help you I need to know everything that happened that night.”

“I’ve already told you Matt we came in from her mums we talked for a couple of hours and we went to bed.” Matt looked at James and then John still at a quandary as to which one was finally going to tell the truth.

“James I’m not saying this is you quite the contrary but I think both of you are hiding things from each other. Above everything it’s quite possible she’s gone to complete this new business deal.”

   Matt needed the truth and he knew certain details where going to upset one if not both, looking back at his notes he tried to gather a picture and continued with his questioning.

“So which one is going to start first?” James swallowed deep looking at John he knew he had to take the first steps.

“I’m not good at this Matt in fact pointing out my infallibilities is very hard for me. OK listen we talked about what happened to both of us over there and I told her that night. Fuck why is this so hard! I told her that night she was the part of me I couldn’t live without.

On my way home I had an overnight stay in London but I didn’t see Catherine. I had a few drinks and got talking and realised half way through that even though this stunning blonde woman was available and willing she didn’t compare to what I had waiting for me and when I turned her down flat I found it amusing how pissed off she got. I told her about my beautiful wife and how I couldn’t wait to reach home. So the next day I went to Harrods and bought her a present something that would match how special she is.

   These last few weeks have been so tough to the point that she told me to walk away and forget her. I know she has feelings for him cause she told me. She told me that you don’t walk away from something like this and not appreciate what you did and how you helped. She even told me about the day you visited Francis and I can’t say I’m not jealous. My wife is conflicted because she nearly dies twice and now I gave her the excuse she needed.

“And what about that night James. What happened that night she left?” James fumbled around with the stationary on Matt’s desk unable to stay settled in one spot for more than a few seconds at a time.

“She caught me trying to set a romantic scene and we danced. You see since coming back from war she hasn’t let me touch her or be near her to be honest and it was only in the last couple of days before the letters that I moved back into our bedroom.

  I had an appointment at the hospital and she had a business meeting and I knew the results of both would need to be discussed at the family get together. She was different, I don’t know seem to be coming back to herself and after that evening she had more clarity than what she had done in over a month and I thought…I thought she was coming back to me.

   When I asked her to put the gown on she looked like a kid at Christmas and when she came back her whole demeanour had changed. She seemed agitated, nervous and just completely different.

   Before getting changed she had a spark a glow it was very infectious and at that moment I told her how much I loved her. Matt I took my wife to bed I wanted her with me and when we where making love she didn’t have any inhibitions it was almost as if for a moment something had scared her.”

“Do you really have too? For fuck sake Matt what does this have to do with Catherine?” James looked heavy hearted at Matt for support.

“Someone was there you think she’s seen someone when she’s been changing and she’s hid it from me because I didn’t believe her the first time and the letter’s where all part of that aren’t they..” Matt nodded still face down in his notes. Before making a comment he looked at the pair down his spectacles.

   “James you’re probably a shit doctor but I think you would make a good detective. John we need your version of events now.” John slammed the chair down obviously distressed.

“No we don’t we’ve heard enough bullshit for one night what the fuck,”

“I know James’s recollection of the evening hurt deeply and I also know you don’t want to hear or feel anything but both of you need to face facts.” Silence dropped between the men, waiting for John to continue he sat down.

“She came to me after she’d read the letters she was upset disjointed…it wasn’t helped by the fact that I had another woman in my bed at the time. When she knew she couldn’t even look at me not at first. The thing is I rarely feel guilt but that woman. Jeanie knows how to make you feel guilty. She was shivering so I sat her down by the fire the only other time I’ve seen her this upset was after we lost the baby. We talked about the letters come to think of it she wasn’t upset about the content….not really…she mentioned that she’d been described as a common slut but she was more hurt by the fact that he’d met Catherine behind her back. She went on about P James calls her P and I asked her to leave and go back to him and he knows that’s only cause of Elizabeth.

   I didn’t want her to go and when she held me and apologised I changed my mind. I had to tell her again how much….how much I love her…and that I would do anything for her,” Finding it difficult to listen James clenched his fists and closed his eyes.

“I stopped her at the car before she left and I kissed her….the thing was James she kissed me back and as she got in the car to leave I stupidly I ran to her.

   I’d asked her if she loved me she didn’t answer, she couldn’t answer I know that. I asked her to stay with me and I told her I would make all this go away and I believed everything she said but she didn’t stay.” John faced the window looking out into the darkened alleyway and as Matt ran his fingers over the page looking at the tear between both gentlemen it was obvious how much one action had torn both their worlds apart.

“Why didn’t she stay John?” Closing his eyes John pictured her standing in the rain. “Does it really matter…?”

“Why didn’t she stay?” Throwing his head back in defeat he knew he had been caught out.

“She didn’t stay because she was using me she needed to find out information about Catherine and by playing me off against him she knew she would get what she wanted. Once I told her where she lived she left and like that I was sat on my own. Ironic as it’s the thing she has ever leant from me.” James shook his head, not able to comprehend the truth. “You knew. If you knew then why all this.”

“I thought she would cool off and come to her senses. I didn’t know she would do this.”

“You have both brought this on yourselves. I have known you for years and I’ve been telling you for years that what you where doing would end in disaster. I told you then she would hurt you more than you know. Whether she has any kind of feelings for you is not the question.